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How do you know if you're in love?

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09:45 / 23.03.02

How do you know if your in love? I think I might be?! Maybe I should psycho-analise this shit...Help! plz.

09:56 / 23.03.02

I'm interested to hear the replies, as, recently, I've been thinking the same thing...

09:56 / 23.03.02

first, you must ask youself:
1. am i intellectually challenged/in tune with this person?
2. do i find this person physically attractive?
3. does "yes" for 1. make up for "no" on 2., or vice versa?

next:
4. do i feel that this person is worth going out of my way for?

5. when i think of this person and get all wooozy, is it the thought of sex that has me feeling this way, or does cutting my toenails with him/her get me equally as hot?

6. do most of the great conversations/encounters i have with this person occor only in my head?

7. what do i intend this relationship to mean to me?

i'm out of questions, can somebody help?

remember, sometimes the thought of somebody is better than the actual thing. if you are afraid of this being a case of simple infatuation, try to relate to this person on their terms, if the attraction is still there, go for it.

and if this isn't "it," you probably won't lose anything by dating this person and finding out that they're not exactly you're thing. maybe then the real ones will be easier to recognize in the future.

09:56 / 23.03.02

Can you visualise yourself growing old in the company of this person?

09:56 / 23.03.02

you never know, all you can do is guess

but think, will that guess last for the rest of your life?

09:56 / 23.03.02

i think the "growing old" thing is a red herring. few things last forever, and love, in most cases, is one of them. look for the immediate, with the possibility of a future.

09:56 / 23.03.02

Does this person give you no refuge but the truth when he/she asks you questions?
Does this person person make you laugh, effortlessly, and beyond reason?
Can you just not stop touching them?
Do you quote Shakespeare at each other at 3 in the morning?
No, but then I have an Elephant God in my bed and I'm so lucky...

09:56 / 23.03.02

I'm not sure if either of these are the definition of true love, but the best answers I've heard to the question. "You know it's True Love when...."

1) You let your lover warm his/her feet on your back in the middle of winter

2) Your lover will sit with you and watch all 5 "Planet of the Apes" films with you back-to-back.

ONLY NICE THINGS

09:56 / 23.03.02

Alternatively, you could always try asking yourself, "Hello, self. Am I in love with this person?"

Functionally, it really doesn't matter that much.

Or, you know, you could do the heroising questionnaire thing. Whatever works.

09:56 / 23.03.02

Functionally, it really doesn't matter that much. – Haus

It doesn't, does it? You either enjoy someone's company or you don't. Then you take it from there and see what happens.

Matthew Fluxington

09:56 / 23.03.02

I think that it's important to maybe distinguish being in love with someone from codependence, obsessive compulsive disorders, or other emotional/psychological problems that you may be experiencing.

There's a big difference between being in love with someone while depressed and anxious, and being in love while in a healthy state of mind. They are feel completely different in my experience - while depressed, the love feels so much more powerful and grand, but it's not as real. I think healthy love is a lot more mellow and level-headed.

09:56 / 23.03.02

...and so look into your heart and ask yorself, "SELF, AM I IN LOVE WITH MYSELF?"

prepare to weep, whatever the answer

09:56 / 23.03.02

"SELF, AM I IN LOVE WITH MYSELF?"...prepare to weep, whatever the answer... – M. Utopia

If there's no self-love, there can't be any love for other people. Read it and weep.

09:56 / 23.03.02

that's what i was getting at...in a roundabout way

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

09:56 / 23.03.02

I can always tell when I'm in love... (in retrospect, obviously) My brain stops working. Entirely.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

09:56 / 23.03.02

quote:Originally posted by M. Utopia:
first, you must ask youself:
1. am i intellectually challenged/in tune with this person?
2. do i find this person physically attractive?
3. does "yes" for 1. make up for "no" on 2., or vice versa?

Nuh-uh. 1. might make up for 2., but if 2. is making up for 1. then you're thinking with the little head, not the big head, and you're in lust, not love. (Although a healthy whack of lust is standard at the beginning of a new relationship.) No matter how pretty a person is, if you are incompatible emotionally or intellectually then the relationship will founder.

Nobody can tell you if you're in love. It's just one of those things you have to work out for yourself.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

09:56 / 23.03.02

Me, I knew it was for real when I found out he dug Blake's 7 as much as I do.

09:56 / 23.03.02

Just stop asking questions that don't matter anyway, and give them a kiss to celebrate here today...

Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?

11:50 / 23.03.02

quote:Originally posted by Mordant C@rnival:
Me, I knew it was for real when I found out he dug Blake's 7 as much as I do.

I think *I'm* in love with him now.

Tryphena Absent

15:43 / 23.03.02

haha- you think that's complicated- try being able to answer both those two questions with a yes and then realising you're in love with a straight girl. Bad, bad, bad move.

16:24 / 23.03.02

OK I've read all the replys and this is it...

1. am i intellectually challenged/in tune with this person?
I think so yes

2. do i find this person physically attractive?
Deffinatly, she looks like an angel

3. does "yes" for 1. make up for "no" on 2., or vice versa?
?

4. do i feel that this person is worth going out of my way for?
I can remember the look in her eyes the first time we met, and its this image i hold in my head, as if im still deciding wether it was love at first site, you no what i mean? Mabee im just not very bright when it come to love

5. when i think of this person and get all wooozy, is it the thought of sex that has me feeling this way, or does cutting my toenails with him/her get me equally as hot?
being around her is entoxicating

6. do most of the great conversations/encounters i have with this person occor only in my head?
sometimes, when im trying to understand what the fuck is going on

7. what do i intend this relationship to mean to me?
If she ever looked me dead in the eyes and said 'i love you' my heat would probably miss a beat

Shit now im even more confused is it love or lust? I like being around her i like talking to her, im more open with her than most people, and i tell her things and she remembers them and asks me questions n stuff.
I just cant get the image of her out of my head the way she looked when our eyes met and she said good bye, that was about 4 months ago. we were at college, i saw her the next day like, it wasnt a forever good bye. the day before i looked her dead in the eyes an said good bye, then the next day she does the same. Her eyes looked realy wide and it seemed like she looked right through me looking right into my sole. Fuck. This is crazy.

16:40 / 23.03.02

quote:Originally posted by fridgemagnet:
you never know, all you can do is guess

but think, will that guess last for the rest of your life?

Yea that sounds about right, i think id like to guess so it wont burst the bubble.

16:42 / 23.03.02

quote:Originally posted by ZoCher:
Does this person give you no refuge but the truth when he/she asks you questions?
Does this person person make you laugh, effortlessly, and beyond reason?
Can you just not stop touching them?
Do you quote Shakespeare at each other at 3 in the morning?
No, but then I have an Elephant God in my bed and I'm so lucky...

I like it when she stands next to me but, in a way i dont like it because i just wanna touch her when she next to me, and i cant stand the thought of not being able to.

Strange Machine Vs The Virus with Shoes

18:00 / 23.03.02

I found the love experience scary but ultimately rewarding. It is probably different for every body, but for me it was the process of pulling down certain walls within myself, becoming totally vunerable and trusting somebody else completely. Being prepared to take the risk of being hurt. I believe love has a certain totality to it, giving yourself completey to another. There are no half way measures.

[ 23-03-2002: Message edited by: panarchy ]

09:46 / 24.03.02

upon second or third thought, fuck it. all of these questions (especially my "logical" take on the matter"). just proclaim interest in the lass. its the best thing you can do for yourself.

its better to regret something you did than it is to regret something you didn't do.

09:53 / 24.03.02

edited because i posted the same thing twice like a dumbass

[ 24-03-2002: Message edited by: M. Utopia ]

Murray Hamhandler

09:53 / 24.03.02

Do you finish one another's sentences? Do you feel comfortable spending long periods of silent time w/her? Do her strengths compliment your weaknesses, and vice-versa? Is she all right w/taking a dump while you're in the same room brushing your teeth? These are my sure-fire criteria for two people in love. And remember: =two people in love=. Being in love w/someone who isn't in love w/you isn't being in love. Trust me on this one. Take a leap of faith and find out for sure before you let yourself go.
Arthur Sudnam, II

[ 24-03-2002: Message edited by: Arthur Sudnam ]

09:53 / 24.03.02

I allways start singing songs and she joins in. Like the other week in college, we where sitting in ceramics class and the sun shone through the window so i started singing 'here comes the sun' by the bettles, and she joined in.
I've figured it out anyway. I'm in love.

Its official. It was love at first sight, just took me a while to realise, (can that happen?). I've just fallen in love. Wow. I just had to tell someone. IM IN LOVE. Love what a strange wonderful thing it is. Now i guess I'd better let her know, how am I going to do this. Shit. I'm not going to see her for 2 weeks and I just realised I'm in love with her. I guess I'll use this time apart to sort my fuckin head out. I feal like I'm waiting for some thing...dont know what tho.

[ 24-03-2002: Message edited by: akira ]

09:53 / 24.03.02

Are you at your most relaxed when you're touching their skin?

09:53 / 24.03.02

Ooh, that's a good one Ganesh.

I'm in love. One of the ways I can tell is that going to see him, no matter where he is, feels like going home, or the way going home ought to feel. Of course, that begs the question, how can you tell when you're going home? I'll shut up.

Tryphena Absent

16:59 / 24.03.02

I think that there are so many confusing little ways to ask if you're in love with someone. Actually, I think, if you just really like them as a friend as well as want to touch them all the time it's pretty much love. It agitates me when I think about it too much and I get worried that I'm reading too much in to it and then I feel like my head's going to explode so now my criteria for judging the whole situation has become nice and simple.

Regrettable Juvenilia

09:17 / 25.03.02

Run, akira. Run to the hills.

09:17 / 25.03.02

i find if i have to ask the question the answer is invariably No

Graeme McMillan

09:17 / 25.03.02

"Your eyelids are gettin' heavy
Hard to lift
Your mind begins to wander
Things start to drift
Your arms are getting heavy
Hard to lift
You sink down a little deeper
You're feeling wonderful
Feeling wonderful
Maybe you're falling in love..."

09:17 / 25.03.02

When you start inventing and communicating in a private language of things you've seen and and done and all the things you like about each other.

(quietly in brackets so as not to disrupt- but then what's 'in love?' i'd wager that's a phrase that means a different thing to everyone who says it. i think you only know for sure when you know what happens in you emotionally when you know if your S/O feels the same or not. love exists between people not within 'em... it's a word you could spend a life trying to understand better.)

I am also full of the joys of spring, as they say. Is this a seasonal thing or a barbelith thing?

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