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Ain't no party like a Lateshift party!

 
  

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Saint Keggers
02:20 / 03.08.07
Not much. Im trying to convice myself that I should do the vacuuming now instead of waiting for the morning and rushing to do it then.
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
02:23 / 03.08.07
You might as well, and be entertained by the shift in the process.

I've got forty more minutes of being a good little library clerk, and then I get to jump onto a bus and go home. My feet ache, and I have ice cream waiting for me.
 
 
Saint Keggers
02:24 / 03.08.07
I just got the image of you oepning the door and the icream tacling you like Dino does when Fred Flintstone comes home.
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
02:26 / 03.08.07
If only!
 
 
Saint Keggers
02:41 / 03.08.07
Have there been any murders in the library? I always expect a murder.
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
02:55 / 03.08.07
No. It's been oddly quiet today--no murders (though, I was sorely tempted), and nobody looking up naughty things on the internet terminals.

I'll be going radio silent for about forty-five minutes for transit. Keep the shift warm.
 
 
Leigh Monster loses its cool
03:22 / 03.08.07
yullooo.
 
 
Saint Keggers
03:23 / 03.08.07
Leigh!!!
How are ya?
 
 
Leigh Monster loses its cool
03:30 / 03.08.07
good and bad. Good because I'm in possession of what must be a seven-pound bad of oddly-shaped scraps of devil's food cake from the bakery, the negatives of heart-shaped cutouts. bad because my friend who's going to teach in Japan soon has decided that it's funny to jeer about how Asian people's penises are all smaller than his, and persistently keeps gloating about how the Japanese condoms probably won't fit him. He's sent this train of thought in a mass-email to a bunch of our friends, without apparently noting the fact that two of us are Japanese and might not think he's clever. I wouldn't normally be so sensitive but another friend decide it would be funny the other day to send me tons and tons of weird Japanese porn and laugh about how fucked up Japanese people were.

But anyway I have cake, what should I do with it?
 
 
Leigh Monster loses its cool
03:30 / 03.08.07
that was bag, not bad.
 
 
Saint Keggers
03:31 / 03.08.07
What you have to do is find the biggest condom you can find and repackage it to look japanese with the words "small" and give it to him.
 
 
Saint Keggers
03:33 / 03.08.07
I would suggest crumbling it into a bowl and mixing it with some alchohol then eating it like cookie dough.
 
 
Leigh Monster loses its cool
03:34 / 03.08.07
Those are both very wonderful ideas...I think I will actually go do the second one right now.
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
03:36 / 03.08.07
I return from the oceans of public transit! The bus wasn't too smelly today.

I have new comix to read and ice cream to eat. But apparently I need to tidy up my apartment so that the landlord can show it off to some potential investor type person as an example of the apartments in the building--I think I'm his model tenant.

Cake!

I'm sorry to hear about your jackass friend, Leigh. What can the Shift do to make this better? Anything? Pictures of weird things?
 
 
This Sunday
03:41 / 03.08.07
Leigh, you have to understand, it's only not funny to you because you're too sensitive and looking at it through a lens of... wait, no. It's not. Neither funny nor witty.

I'm seconding Venger's suggestions. Both of them. And any others V comes up with, just on principle.

Also, since I believe you're in California at the moment, when I get back out there in a month, sign the petition I'll be passing around to make generic stereotyping exclusionary humor of this sort a crime warranting immediate loss of limbs until the offender learns better. Short of nuking from orbit, I'm beginning to think it's the only way to be sure the problem will get fixed.
 
 
Leigh Monster loses its cool
03:42 / 03.08.07
I'll sign. I'll sign and give you cake.

The shift is already making it much better but lizards are always helpful as well...
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
03:46 / 03.08.07
Here's a link to someone laughing at an old Phantom Lady comic which might make you feel better.
 
 
This Sunday
03:48 / 03.08.07
Yay, cake!

And, since lizards remind me: Did you figure out what to do with the lizards in your piece, Papers?
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
03:50 / 03.08.07
Mostly just stamp on 'em or have them scurry out of the way, so far. No, no major resolution has come to that particular plot thread. I should actually make something out of it-- they've just come across another dead body, so there's going to be dozens of salamanders all over the floor of the janitor's closet that the body's been stashed in.
 
 
Leigh Monster loses its cool
03:59 / 03.08.07
Those were actually the lizards I was talking about. But the kittens were nifty.
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
04:00 / 03.08.07
I'll probably post some more of the draft in a bit once I get my head going and my fingers working, so you can have lizards.

U can has lizzerdz!
 
 
Leigh Monster loses its cool
04:05 / 03.08.07


Want!

Only really in a fictional context, though.
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
04:09 / 03.08.07
That's awesome. I always wanted a little amphibian of some kind to call my own.
 
 
Saint Keggers
04:12 / 03.08.07
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
04:14 / 03.08.07
Here's the scene I'm working on at the moment.

Well, this complicated things. "I was having flashbacks to the Cubist Madonna fiasco—those Spanish gentlemen backing you in a corner while they cursed at you and demanded answers—but this. Holland. Holland? Holland!" Jack snapped her fingers in his face. Tuesdays. Janitorial closets on the first floor were apocalyptic on the best of days, without the scurrying salamanders in droves across the floor—hundreds of the little buggers, apparently they were breeding in the pipes and grates and corners of the building, twisting smoothly around the large mess dashed across the floor, old phone books and tools, a mop and bucket.. And. "I know you're not exactly giddy at the thought of keeping this under wraps along with Shackle's problems, but…" It was a man's skinny, distorted body hung upright, wrapped in telephone cables and cords bolted to the walls. The switchboard was going to be a mess. Limp-tied with bent, awkward limbs and hands hung open like tulips, jaundiced and oddly—

"Armand found him." Holland had apparently recovered his power of speech. Jack winced. The man was spider-webbed by the cables, but death still held on with fingernails. The pulverized neck! And the face, so blotchy. "Jack, I can't. You're. You'll need to solve two cases at once. I have every confidence in your abilities." He relaxed into the company line to cope. Smart move. But even as he said it, he started to wake up properly from the catatonic fluster. He began to remember how the Peake worked its lawless mojo. He remembered, it was written into the lines on his forehead, the way his eyes ground into her, why exactly there needed to be a hotel detective to put all of this together. "This is where you tell me this isn't two cases, isn't it? This—gentleman—is related to the dead monkey."

Jack shrugged. "Same jigsaw, different corner. This man's name is Pennington, and until about two minutes ago he was my prime suspect."
 
 
This Sunday
04:15 / 03.08.07


A most dignified lizard, I must say. I needed a dignified lizard, at this point. Plus, spikey chin!
 
 
Saint Keggers
04:25 / 03.08.07
Sounds good so far Papers. And in my head Im hearing it read by James McCaffrey, the voice of Max Payne.
 
 
This Sunday
04:27 / 03.08.07
She's one of those people who do jigsaw puzzles showing nothing but a patch of blue sky, isn't she? With two puzzles' worth of pieces mixed together.
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
04:38 / 03.08.07
Oh, very much so, Dec. Unfortunately, she's terrible at crosswords.

I'd imagine it'll be very weird to one day hear my work read on an audiobook by some actor, Venger-- one of those very surreal distant future thoughts.
 
 
Saint Keggers
04:41 / 03.08.07
My comics should be read by Donald Sutherland. Not on an audiobook or anything. He shoyld just read them.
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
04:44 / 03.08.07
How's that coming along? Have you gotten any work done? Did your meet your friend's roommates? Can you move freely through the house?
 
 
Saint Keggers
04:48 / 03.08.07
WHo are you talking to Papers? Me or DC?
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
04:50 / 03.08.07
I may have been thinking of someone else. Too many flowing lith monkeys....I mean...


LOOK OVER THERE! I mean, are you having wine this evening?
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
04:51 / 03.08.07
(which was all funnier in my head)

It's a terrible crime that I haven't yet felt the need to add "batshit" to my spellchecker dictionary.
 
 
This Sunday
04:51 / 03.08.07
You've inspired me, actually. Since I've been asked to entirely redraft a murder sequence for a film, I think I'm going to frame it as whodunnit 'n' how, instead of frontloading the thing with all the pertinent info and not examining or considering anything of the crime. If they don't like it, arguably, I can just take it, shift some names and such around, and make it it's own little thing.

They're on a (relatively) small boat, so it's very Clue, or one of those dinner things where they off the host and the guest's have to work it out.

Mainly, I just want to see if one can get away with a murder mystery pastiche in the middle of an ongoing narrative of another type. The inherent humor of pastiche ought to keep it light enough.
 
  

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