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The Thread For Normal Blokes

  
  

Page: 12(3)45

 
 
miss wonderstarr
20:33 / 29.03.07
I wish I could see people on here talking about the Comic Relief single, but... I can't.
 
 
iamus
20:35 / 29.03.07
This is a thread, for so many reason hilarious and horrid, that could only appear on Barbeilth.
 
 
*
21:21 / 29.03.07
New direction.

Hello, my name is id entity, sometimes known as many ravishing idperfections, and I am... a normal bloke.

I grew up in a white, middle-class family in a small town in Florida, which, believe it or not, is something many perfectly normal blokes do. (80.4% of people in Florida are white. The median per-capita income is about 38K; I'd estimate that my parents made about that or a little more when I was growing up—enough to put them in the median for white families.) Both my parents worked in elementary and secondary education (over 301K individuals work in elementary and secondary education in Florida). My parents had a pool for part of my childhood and I often swam, although never well (24M people over the age of 7 in the US swim regularly; it is not recorded how many swim well). Now I regularly walk for exercise (32M people in the US report walking for exercise).

I had a series of dogs and cats growing up, often two or three at a time. (My family was a four-person household. 50.6% of four-person households have dogs; 38.2% have cats. The average number of dogs owned for all households is 1.6; cats, 2.1.)

My family was a secular one (like 29M other families in the US).

Now, I'm going to school and looking for work, and you can't get much more normal than that (over 1.5M men in my age group are unemployed).

So, in what ways are you normal? Check the relevant census data and see. All that stuff about how your interests make you unique and special? An illusion, sociologically speaking—like everyone, you are have at least one aspiration set, and which one it is doesn't matter as far as the system is concerned. Your interests are often much more predictable than you think, as I learned when checking out my own.

Sources: U.S., Florida.
 
 
iamus
21:24 / 29.03.07
Ooooooo.... I heart you something rotten.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
22:05 / 29.03.07
Could people please stop pretending to be povs? This thread is for normal people, that means average. Middle means average as well. Therefore this thread is for middle class normal blokes, I don't want any PC Marxist Nazis making a fuss!
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
22:36 / 29.03.07
Speaking as a normal bloke, I can see the temptation in pretending to be a pov. I mean, you've got to envy povvos, right? First up, they don't have any expectations, in particular from your parents. I love my mum and dad, but they can get me down sometimes. It's not as easy to get ahead in management these days as it was in the 60s. You get to lie in, and if you do have a job, it's not a demanding one. I mean, who wouldn't want to hang out in a pub all day, or get the kind of workout digging swimming pools that you'd pay a hundred quid for in a gym - and get paid for it!
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
22:41 / 29.03.07
That said, mind, nobody's really poor any more, are they? I mean, have you been in these people's houses? They've got better TVs than I have!

I've got a 42-inch plasma, by the way. Pioneer. The make, that is. Although I was one of the first people I knew who bought one.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
22:49 / 29.03.07
I don't want to be touchy mate, but I'm getting a bit uncomfortable about people saying "povvos"! I've got a decent job now, go on three holidays a year and like all of us, busy paying off my mortgage, but my old man grew up in a Council house and worked down Southend beach. He never had a day on the dole! Working-class people are salt of the earth, no-nonsense. Genuine people. No poncing around, they'll say it as they see it. You don't need to go to Uni and get a flash city job to be decent people. If my old Nan could see the way poncey Notting Hill restaurants are selling back old-fashioned English food to wankers with more money than sense (sausage and mash, £15??) she'd turn in her grave! She came in to the world with nothing, she went out with nothing, but she had so much. If that's a "povvo", you're slagging my Nan off. I don't want to sound all sensitive about it but you're out of order if you say that (not saying you are.)
 
 
c0nstant
22:49 / 29.03.07
What happened? Did they bite his tongue?

nope they stamped on his face several times...y'know like any REAL bloke would when faced with criticism.
 
 
Ticker
23:23 / 29.03.07
A while back another group of my friends joined a self styled pick up artists' online group. We all talked in depth about what we were doing and the line between mockery, bigotry, and monkey wrenching. It was a trojan horse project with each one of us cloaking as another person joining the group either as a pick up artist or a curious girl. Now that was chilling.

While my intital post in this thread was decidedly more mocking, the person I envision saying those things is to me real. She's the woman who edits herself from saying words she worries you won't know (she'd rather have you think she can't spell than use big words). She's the woman who believes only her looks and willingness to be less important then the men will win her acceptance. She's the one who is worried about sounding too smart, being too tall, and wanting anything besides material gestures of appreciation.

It may seem callous and not a little fucked up for me to wear her skin in a mocking way but the clowning serves as a way for me to remember her and appreciate what I've fought not to be. The world pushes her at me everyday as the ideal in ads like the Victorias Secret pic I used, in the products to make me stink less, shine more, be bigger eyed and smaller waisted, glossier and overcome my em-bare-assing opinionatedness.

She's a sock puppet boogey man I drag out to play with sometimes. It's not always nice but I try to keep it useful.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
00:11 / 30.03.07
I've e-mailed a family friend about this thread, and he's kindly replied as follows, with his thoughts, questions and so on about his reply in brackets. I transcribe these in full, as hopefully an insight on his thinking, and the artistic process in general;

'Hi guys ... (how middle class is this site? Oh well I don't suppose it matters these days; they'll buy anything really) I mean, mates, I thought I would share some of my experiences with you.

Growing up, my Dad was chairman of a major multi-national corporation, and then after a series of events that included my Dad taking to me a lot of sports events as a way of compensating for the divorce that left me living in semi-poor circumstances in North London (there's no way of these friends of yours checking this out, is there? Better not be, anyway) I wound up, as if by accident, at Cambridge university. But I didn't like it. I found it too affected as an environment. So I thought I would make friends with Julie Burchill instead (you might want to cut that bit out, too.) Time passed, and things got more difficult at Christmas, and so I decided that I would write a book, about real things, about football, beer and relationships, and the pain and joy of everyday life. Which we're all a part of, however we grew up, and wherever we went to school. We're all ordinary really, just trying to get by; however much we might try to pretend otherwise, we're all in the same boat (except that for those us that are f***ing multi-million pound yachts in Cannes that is! F***ing A!) Even David Bowie probably feels like that. (Does he my arse ... We didn't get on all that well, actually, but shit on him, the poser - he's no Sprngsteen, is he?)

(Even though I could apply to be a chairman of that place, and have serious weight on the board if I did) I still find myself in the stands with a cup of Bovril most Saturdays, cheering the team on. It's a bit stupid, I suppose, but it makes me feel grounded.

I like to think I made it all right to be ordinary, and dare I say it, a normal bloke - no one had ever really written about it before, and so I'm glad I did.

(See you in Cannes this summer - you won't f***ing believe what I'm working on next!!!)'

Yours, etc...'

All of which is hopefully by way of saying that Normal Blokes can come from anywhere, and go on to do anything.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
00:25 / 30.03.07
Distinction there between a normal bloke and a Normal Bloke, in the sense that a normal bloke, what ever else he might get up to, arguably doesn't have a pernicious media presence in quite the same way.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
07:24 / 30.03.07
While my intital post in this thread was decidedly more mocking, the person I envision saying those things is to me real. She's the woman who edits herself from saying words she worries you won't know (she'd rather have you think she can't spell than use big words). She's the woman who believes only her looks and willingness to be less important then the men will win her acceptance. She's the one who is worried about sounding too smart, being too tall, and wanting anything besides material gestures of appreciation.


I agree with that ~ I post on Handbag.com and it is full of women who apologise for writing anything over 2 paragraphs (sorry for length, thanks for anyone who got this far!!) or for possibly misunderstanding someone else's point, or being too assertive, or showing off any kind of knowledge. There are women on there with a different attitude and approach, but they're the minority, and they are "names" for being intelligent and plain-spoken. I totally dumb my own prose down over there, to fit in. Maybe that's problematic, but I just want to be part of the community. NB. I post as a man on there.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
09:26 / 30.03.07
U don't need to try to fit in then love, if you post as a bloke on a girl's website they'll listen to wotever u say like yr the fucking Dali Llama.

is that why you do it?! (LOL no offence)
 
 
miss wonderstarr
09:38 / 30.03.07
(I see what people mean now about some of the voices on here being scary... they make you feel you're actually on another board). No, in fact men on Handbag are treated very suspiciously, as likely pervs or players who are taking advantage of the site to try and pull ~ or, worse yet, some kind of weirdo man who likes talking about shoes and celebrities for their own sake. So I'm also very careful, humble and apologetic on there. It's interesting really. Or fucked up on my part, maybe.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
09:39 / 30.03.07
Smoothly was right.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
09:42 / 30.03.07
An idea whose time had come has become a thread that has run its course.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
09:42 / 30.03.07
I don't know why I post as a man on there just now, really. I think it's quite likely that it's just a question of enjoying a bit of a challenge, fitting in, shaping a persona to a board dynamic. Again, that still sounds a bit odd, but I think everywhere I post, in whatever "persona", it's an expression of parts of me, or aspects of me with a certain tone or filter, or focus, just as in everyday life various situations bring out or require a different part of me. So I don't see it as false or manipulative. I see it perhaps as exploring different aspects of myself. I don't know really. I haven't thought it through that much.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
09:43 / 30.03.07
Anyway, that'll probably do for now. Perhaps the thread should end.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
09:51 / 30.03.07
I have to say that I do recognise XK's character. I encounter her frequently, in different guises and in different degrees. And the funny thing is, whatever guise she's in--flesh-and-blood women as well as poster-girls and movie heroines--she is more successful than me. Employers, co-workers, educators, people in the caring professions, temp co-ordinators, hell barstaff will favour her over a less conventionally feminine type every time. As long as you don't have too much ambition (don't mind being shunted onto the mummy-track at work, etc) it's a fairly competative position with a lot of perks. Well worth the outlay on Touche Eclat and shoes.
 
 
Sax
10:34 / 30.03.07
I'm a girl.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
10:45 / 30.03.07
where's your pic then?

don't need to include the face if yr shy!!!
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
10:50 / 30.03.07
(I see what people mean now about some of the voices on here being scary... they make you feel you're actually on another board).

Really? It makes me feel like I'm on a board with a bunch of university-educated middle-class people, largely in their twenties and early thirties, from aping what they imagine da yoof are like. It is, not to put too fine a point on it, like watching your uncle talk about how his neighbourhood has gone downhill, with voices.

The way that this thread was interpreted, however, was very revealing, and that was indeed a little scary.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
10:53 / 30.03.07
I'm not touching this one with a bargepole.

Erm... I mean, I wouldn't touch it with yours, mate.
 
 
Harrison Ford, in a battle suit, wheels for feet, knives and guns
11:14 / 30.03.07
Wicked, we're on page 3 mate...soemone gonna get thier norks out..maybe you Haus...come on ger em oot fer da ladz like...fackin' wallop.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
11:16 / 30.03.07


I, Aslan, Lion King of Narnia, want you to know that you are not men. No, you are the turkish delight witch. That is all.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:25 / 30.03.07
And, after Aslan had left, the children played in the snow, and invented a marvellous game called "chavs". It was such fun to pretend to speak their strange language of the people of that near but uncouth land, and to imagine how funny it must be to be stupid and common. Lucy pretended to be a slapper, and everyone laughed to see her pretending to vomit outside Primark. And then, at the end of the day, they returned through the wardrobe to the old house, where the Professor had paid off his mortgage, and ate the delicious organic soup that their mother had left in the scullery for them, and then went to bed.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
11:27 / 30.03.07
And died in their sleep when Aslan came to EAT THEIR FLESH.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
11:39 / 30.03.07
Really? It makes me feel like I'm on a board with a bunch of university-educated middle-class people, largely in their twenties and early thirties, from aping what they imagine da yoof are like. It is, not to put too fine a point on it, like watching your uncle talk about how his neighbourhood has gone downhill, with voices.


I don't feel I was trying to approximate a youth voice ~ I think very many people in their 20s and older write online, casually, in that way. There's no attempt at proper grammar or real care over spelling, because it's not seen as necessary or appropriate. I'd say these are people who probably write entirely differently to their boss, or a client at work, but online just rattle text off quickly, because it's a different mode and venue, and there's no need to pay the same kind of attention to expression as long as content is fairly clear. Also, I expect most people are posting covertly at work, which leads them to write and post quickly rather than really craft a post. Barbelith is different in that way, and it's very aware of (proud of) that difference. Quite possibly because most of its members have different types of jobs to those on Handbag, for instance.

I think you could quite easily find the sort of voice I was doing on p2 in many if not most places online. I sometimes frequent a forum for Special Constables (in the British police service) and I see that kind of tone, style and spelling on there. (I don't post as a Special Constable.)

Discussion boards for young people (say, 14-19) are, in my experience, way more stylised and removed from standard English in their expression ~ they often seem deliberately to be adopting a dialect, even a whole different language, to exclude older readers. It's sometimes baffling to read, and I'm sure that's the point. I didn't see that on this thread. I think it'd be a lot harder for most people on here to adopt that textual voice and do it remotely convincingly.

So I think your interpretation of the voices here is shaped by your experience of and ideas of how other people express themselves online ~ you feel it's a "povvo" youth voice being explored, I didn't feel that or intend that, in my own posts at least.

But perhaps I'd just like to flatter myself I can write in a different style without sounding like someone's embarrassing uncle, so I'm bound to go on sounding defensive about it.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:45 / 30.03.07
But perhaps I'd just like to flatter myself I can write in a different style without sounding like someone's embarrassing uncle, so I'm bound to go on sounding defensive about it.

Quite possibly. However, I take your point. Substitute "da yoof" for "common people", then, to make the reaction to your character, specifically, more pertinent. Having said which, the "Princess' Bedroom" thread appears to put the age of the persona you were exploring somewhere in its mid-to-late teens, along with PS and .trampetunia. So, I think my apprehension is not entirely unreasonable.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
11:56 / 30.03.07
Quite possibly. However, I take your point. Substitute "da yoof" for "common people", the, to make the reaction to your character, specifically, more pertinent. Having said which, the "Princess' Bedroom" thread appears to put the age of the persona you were exploring somewhere in its mid-to-late teens, along with PS and .trampetunia. So, I think my apprehension is not entirely unreasonable.

Yes, I don't disagree. I think who we were "doing" or "exploring" was never clear, and different people had different agenda. I accept, really, that me doing that character was a kind of slumming it, a showing off that I could slip on a certain disguise and then happily drop it again, regaining my privileges of education and class because of course I can actually write properly and can use that to get certain jobs, gain a certain kind of cultural capital &c.

Out of interest I was looking for examples, and here is a casual thread from my Police site



**

(I think your term "common people" is valid enough here, even though police officers aren't obviously "povvos")

Here's a thread from an under-18s forum that sometimes becomes very stylised in terms of dialect (it's for Black British young people, though, which is another factor in terms of language expressing and confirming an identity)

**
 
 
Tryphena Absent
12:03 / 30.03.07
To paraphrase vampire willow: This place just isn't fun anymore.
 
 
Princess
12:04 / 30.03.07
Um, I'm 19 and I was tryng to satirise people of about my own age or slightly younger. I'm discussing my peers. It's not a case, with me at least, of a uni person mocking "da yoof". It's a case of university "yoof" talking about "university yoof". There really isn't an economic element to what I was putting across.
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
12:09 / 30.03.07
Lucy pretended to be a slapper...

"Slapper"? You made that up, didn't you. I'm on to you, buddy.

(for real though, I'm not familiar with the term, I had thought it had something to do with the roaring twenties but I'm getting the impression that I am mistaken).

This thread is weird.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:10 / 30.03.07
Miss wonderstarr: I'm starting to worry that you may spend more time on bulletin boards than I do. That can't be good.
 
  

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