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The Bragging Thread

 
  

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Alex's Grandma
22:48 / 14.03.07
I know I'm an old woman, and so possibly some here will consider my 'ideas' and 'values' to be hopelessly old-fashioned and reactionary, but is it too much to ask that we receive some kind of warning in an otherwise innocuous thread before having to read about people's pierced old chap, without having it thrust in our faces? Thrust in our faces without warning, or access to the appropriate medication?

I'm serious. This is a serious matter, hard as it may seem to believe.

Less seriously, shouldn't some of you be getting on with your essays?
 
 
Princess
22:52 / 14.03.07
I'm sorry Gran. I had no intention of thrusting my chap into your face.

Though it is a fairly wonderful chap. I wouldn't complain if it was thrust in my face.
 
 
Tabitha Tickletooth
22:59 / 14.03.07
Gran, no way did he mean that apology. Surely the use of the phrase 'thrusting my chap in your face' is a case in point.

The well-apportioned one is taunting you and you, as a venerable old one, shouldn't have to take it.

Oh, the shame. Young people today...
 
 
Olulabelle
23:00 / 14.03.07
Tabitha, it was a letter in reply to an article by a woman who suggested that the state of the nation was somehow in question, principally because there were no clever children being born anymore. Her reasoning for this was that all the young, bright women were career women without children, and all the young women currently having children were stupid, thick, school drop-outs, and that this meant the average intelligence of children was going rapidly downhill.

So I was a mother, age 25 with a degree and a bloody good job in the media and her article made me weep with anger. I read it on the train on the way to work and I have never been so keen to get to work and write my reply in all my life.

I was so angry that they came and took a photo of me, (looking angry) with my son in my arms. 'Angry from Billericay'! I shall find my cut-out and scan it in for your perusal.

Watch this space.
 
 
Tabitha Tickletooth
23:09 / 14.03.07


You rock. I look forward muchly to the angry picture.
 
 
Princess
23:10 / 14.03.07
Was too sincere! I put in a mod request and everything.

All going well there should be a penis warning in that post soon.
 
 
Tsuga
23:42 / 14.03.07
God, don't start genitalia warnings, for fuck's sake. Do I have to stop cursing now, as well?
Poo.
Speak in abstracted code or asterisks. You pierced your aconitum, or foresk*n.
Is that still too suggestive, like a pasty? How about f******n?
 
 
Princess
23:46 / 14.03.07
My Wolfsbane?
Ah, no, my Monkshood, I get it.
Are they really called the same thing or is this just very clever botany humour?
 
 
Tsuga
23:54 / 14.03.07
Nah, not that clever- mine just got called the "little monk" before. Uh, I mean the huge massive monk. Ha.ha.
Yeah. Not that clever.
For some reason I like that Latin name, though. Beautiful flower, really more Georgia O'Keefe, if you know what I mean.
 
 
Princess
23:56 / 14.03.07
But it's a poison! If my special-part was going to be a flower it would be a fuscia; bright pink and surrounded by hummingbirds who are after my sweet sweet nectar.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
00:12 / 15.03.07
Well you see, dear, I'd be inclined to picture your elected representative as being more like ... like an opium poppy, I suppose. Insofar it seems like something that's perhaps best not mentioned in public, for fear that it might get you into trouble, one day.

Best to keep it hidden away under glass, I think. Arguably under an assumed name, and on a different continent. Ten or so miles underground.

Though I don't mean to sound like a prude, of course.
 
 
Princess
00:28 / 15.03.07
Poppy = Hypnotic and darkly veined.
 
 
pomegranate
00:30 / 15.03.07
i'm hott, and friends with barbe-royalty.
 
 
Princess
00:32 / 15.03.07
That's fairly brag worthy. I don't think I've met any of the Barbe-royalty yet. Just some of my fellow Barbgeoisie. You may have one this one mantis.

But, more importantly, what flower most perfectly symbolises your genitals?
 
 
Tsuga
00:37 / 15.03.07
 
 
Princess
00:38 / 15.03.07
Tiny and red?
 
 
Princess
00:48 / 15.03.07
Oh goodness, I just worked out how to see the picture.
It's even ribbed for the bumble-bee's pleasure. I'm impressed.
 
 
Ticker
01:00 / 15.03.07
I sometimes look good in BDSM fetish images. (does that link work for you guys?)

People are hasslehoffing us for prints!
 
 
Dead Megatron
01:03 / 15.03.07
The link works fine. Is that you? If it is, wow, cool tattoos.

I've been told quite often I'm really good at sex. Feel free not to believe it, of course.
 
 
Dutch
01:23 / 15.03.07
I've just sliced off a bit of my thumb with a cheese grate, trying to make a cheese sandwich while drunk, i used the running blood to make an expressionist painting....
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
01:29 / 15.03.07
Wesley Willis once accidentally spat on my lip at a show in Murfreesboro, TN.


I'm positive it was an accident. Absolutely positive.


Besides that, I still claim the title of Barbelith's King of Iron Fist. Just 'cause I really need a drink don't mean I won't go hog wild on someone at the drop of a hat.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
02:38 / 15.03.07
I've been told quite often I'm really good at sex.

Nurse! The screens!
 
 
iamus
03:10 / 15.03.07





I'm not this guy.

Is that worth bragging about?
 
 
Elijah, Freelance Rabbi
03:44 / 15.03.07
Lestat: Real Hollywood Story
 
 
Sole Eater
04:40 / 15.03.07
I've got the best office view on the Eylandt. Took me three years and a bloodless coup to get it.
 
 
Sole Eater
04:46 / 15.03.07
AND... I think I've had sex with that girl in the photo. Just before she developed Crohn's Disease. Last time I saw her she was even gothier.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
06:04 / 15.03.07
AND... I think I've had sex with that girl in the photo. Just before she developed Crohn's Disease.

Are these two events related?
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
08:30 / 15.03.07
I have some grasp on the concept of boundaries.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
08:33 / 15.03.07
Boundaries. They are very erotic.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
08:35 / 15.03.07
So I've been told. Repeatedly. And I'm so confident in how good I am at them that I have to mention it on the internet! ALL THE TIME!
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
08:37 / 15.03.07
I can roll my tongue.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
08:38 / 15.03.07
And I met John Noakes once.
 
 
Twice
08:41 / 15.03.07
You got a badge, didn't you?
 
 
Evil Scientist
08:41 / 15.03.07
Every day I refrain from using my orbital weapons to scour this world clean of life. So basically I save you all on a daily basis. I'm like Superman in many ways.
 
 
Twice
08:49 / 15.03.07
I once ‘helped’ Simon MacCorkindale put his golf clubs in his car.
 
  

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