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Dream Clinic

  
  

Page: 12(3)45

 
 
Unconditional Love
10:19 / 19.05.07
Recently in my nightmares i have been beating my enemies to death with a baseball bat, repeatedly standing there just hitting over and over and really enjoying the enlarged squishy pile of reddened flesh and broken bones.

Its really empowering as i usually feel overwhelmed in these situations. Not sure i should really be enjoying that, but a deep part of me is really getting off on it, its as if in the dream my mind goes blank and i fill with a calm placid rage.
 
 
Mako is a hungry fish
10:49 / 19.05.07
 
 
cerca_trova
05:47 / 25.05.07
Here is a dream which I still have not completely figured out. I had it about a year ago, this post is copied from an entry I made shortly after it happened: (Casey who I reference throughout is my best friend.)

So casey and I are walking in the city, some part I've never been before, and we're walking next to this building which is white, speckled marble sort of, but is highly polished so it's almost reflective. We're walking along the building, which appears on our right side and hear trickling, and rushing sounds. There's a break in the wall and we see a giant waterfall running along the inside from the ceiling to the floor (it looks like one of those waterfalls that someone would put in their office, with like the little stones n'shit, but this one is life sized). We continue walking and the wall appears again for a few paces and then there's another break and another waterfall, same concept but this one differs slightly.

At this point casey and I are very intrigued and hear a low chanting and we go inside. The inside of the building isn't enclosed, it has three walls, two on the either far sides, and one in the back like a long rectangle. Inside there are people walking around, talking, and taking pictures of these chanting individuals who were in various states of meditation. Some of them sat on the floor, others were levitating off of the ground and high in the air. but most all of them were going "Ohm."

Casey and I walked past these people until we reached the other end of the building where there were large screen-like tapestries on the walls. One in a corner of the room, and the other in the opposite corner (picture a long rectangle).

We walked up to someone who was preparing to sit in this corner. She was a toned black woman with a shaved head wearing work-out type clothing, but not flashy or revealing. We asked if we could watch her and she said she'd rather we didn't. So, we walked to the other corner on the same side where there was a woman, I can't really remember what she was doing, but i think it had to do with things flying in the air.

At this point the black lady called out to us and said that she said no just because she thought we might not be interested, and all she was going to do was practice juggling three balls with one hand while lying on her back. So, we took a seat where we were standing and watched her practice. She took out three round, red balls and laid on her back on a mat on the floor. she threw the balls in the air and began to attempt juggling them, sometimes succeeding, and other times dropping them. (understandable since i can't even juggle two fucking scarves).

Some of the balls roll towards us and I throw them back to her, and she comments that my aim is pretty good. Somehow I realize that where casey and I are sitting is the beginner's area as compared to the opposite sides where we entered which had people in deep stages of meditation. That is why this simple act of juggling is being practiced, to coordinate the mind and help concentrate.

At this point more people start coming in, and apparantly there's a canvas behind casey and I, which people are all contributing to by throwing french fries and ketchup at. Some of the fries stick and others don't, and the ones that fall people just continue to throw.

Then, a black man begins setting up in front of two larger tapestries, directly next to the black woman juggling, and also lays down on the floor. I forget now exactly what he did, which pisses me off. but whatever it was a large crowd came and sat around me and casey to watch. Then people start smiling and clapping as another man walks in, this man has a very very round belly and long hippie hair, and he opens up another side to the larger two tapestries, making a triptych like altar piece. The black man, by this point is gone and the large man's name begins with G, but I forget what it was. He wraps himself in a see-through shawl and lays down on the ground, at this point his head detatches itself and begins rolling along the floor, right to me and casey.

He says "i've separated my mind from my body. i am aware of my body but i am no longer imprisoned by it. my mind is free to wander. but how do i get to this point?" as he's saying all of this his head is bobbing around on the floor, and i'm not disgusted but rather follow him with my eyes. his face is a white man's and is painted green, but the paint was kind of coming off. it looked like some sort of jade mask. he says something more and smiles and his head rolls away, making little suction sounds on the marble floor everytime his neck sticks and continues to roll.

His head rolls back where his body was, but instead of there being a body, it's just a shawl on the ground and two heads talking. the heads say:

-"i am the mind"
-"and i am the body"
-"and we have separated ourselves"

At this point the body head falls onto its side and I notice the writing on the tapestries above this particular mat. It says "the mind and body" I look to my left to where I saw the black woman juggling and there are now two women, sort of contact dancing and above them it says "feel". I think that somehow these beginning stages of meditiation begin with tangible feelings, move to emotions and the intangible and then the third stage which is the separation of the two.

At this point a man's voice echoes within the walls of this building and says: "the next step is water." and in front of me and casey there's a large rock which looks like it came out of the ocean. Casey looks at me and smiles and we start to get-up, to go climb on this rock.

then i fucking woke-up.




any insight would be great
 
 
Mako is a hungry fish
08:46 / 26.05.07
Here is a dream which I still have not completely figured out.

So what have you figured out about it so far?
 
 
Sibelian 2.0
13:52 / 14.06.07
Well.

Last night I was in prison.

It was a very nice prison, really. It had art galleries and little gardens and a cinema and a shop and the rest of the prisoners were all basically decent guys. We were allowed out on certain days and at certain times to go and do recreational things so long as they were acceptable to the Governor and it helped if they had something to do with personal development.

Everyone was very liberal and nice, the guards were gentle with the cuffs, although very strict about when they went on and came off, and didn't piss you about or try and lord it over you.

But the ... understanding that I was now a criminal and had to be treated in accordance with the status of a criminal was everywhere. I understood it myself and accepted it. I had in fact committed the crime, and it was a bad crime, although I have no idea what the crime was and it didn't occur to me throughout the entire dream to question the fact that I had committed it.

My crime was such that it's punishment meant the confiscation of my shoes and I went barefoot everywhere, even outside on the permitted "de-compression" trips (these were understood to be good for the prisoners' health). My uniform was a fairly comfortable blue boiler-suit type thing. I was in the wing with the rest of the "barefooters". Our guards were especially nice, and a conversation with one of the higher ranking guards in his office revealed why, I had been imprisoned with the rest of the "damn good blokes" who otherwise in life had been a positive force for good in their community that had simply snapped under pressure and failed themselves.

Everyone in the prison knew we weren't evil and didn't want to see us suffer, but there was no question that we had done something that was entirely wrong and so had to pay for it. They just didn't want the paying for it to make us worse. Also, the previous status of all the barefoot inmates, whilst not exactly null and void, did not really apply any more and never would again. All of us had basically screwed up. From now on any previous morally admirable acheivements would only be seen by the Governor through the lens of our current imprisonment, though he loved us all, we were now no longer "innocent" decent guys, but "criminal" decent guys, and so would, for the rest of our lives, be subject to his (gentle) control.

The guards genuinely cared for us. There was no question of disobeying their orders (with which, out of kindness, they did not plague us too much anyway), but they were never malicious or abusive.

They were just better than us.

I felt sort of relieved by this situation. They mostly sort of felt sorry for us and largely appreciated that there were, in most of our cases, extenuating circumstances (although these could not excuse the punishment). Also I didn't have to go to work, which I liked.

This dream has kind of freaked me. It felt pretty deep.
 
 
EvskiG
14:03 / 14.06.07
Almost sounds like Purgatory or the level of Hell reserved for virtuous pagans.
 
 
Mako is a hungry fish
19:12 / 14.06.07
Why don't people list their associations with their dream imagery? It'd make things easier in terms of deciphering them.

For instance, one persons associations might mean this dream was about how they should design a prison system, anothers might mean this dream was about how they're innocently making wrong decisions in their life for which they'll be punished, and yet anothers might mean they identify with Angels that got curious about earth, sneaked down on their lunch break and nailed a few local gals, and now have to stay to look after their offspring.

There's a lot to your dream though the key points seem to be: -


1) We were allowed out on certain days and at certain times to go and do recreational things so long as they were acceptable to the Governor and it helped if they had something to do with personal development.

2) I had been imprisoned with the rest of the "damn good blokes" who otherwise in life had been a positive force for good in their community that had simply snapped under pressure and failed themselves.

3) From now on any previous morally admirable acheivements would only be seen by the Governor through the lens of our current imprisonment, though he loved us all, we were now no longer "innocent" decent guys, but "criminal" decent guys, and so would, for the rest of our lives, be subject to his (gentle) control.

4) I felt sort of relieved by this situation. They mostly sort of felt sorry for us and largely appreciated that there were, in most of our cases, extenuating circumstances (although these could not excuse the punishment). Also I didn't have to go to work, which I liked

Sounds like the story about the Garden of Eden, though my thoughts are probably being dominated by that whole Angel thing up above and so now I'm thinking in Christian terms - if you tell me more about yourself and what you associate with these images, and maybe even do a little dream deciphering of your own, I might be able to offer a little more insight than "you've tapped into an archetype in a most beautiful manner - your mind is a well kept playground deserving of an award, which is why you have such lovely dreams".
 
 
Sibelian 2.0
20:38 / 14.06.07
Well, thanks, I guess.

It was a very profound-feeling dream, and when these things happen to me (which they do, relatively frequently, I dream in glorious 3-D technicolour every night and pretty much once a month or so a massive ultra-significant super-dream appears (actually it can be a bit exhausting)) I tend not to analyse them straight away but instead wait for a bit and see how I feel about them first.

My waking feelings are going roughly as follows:

1. "But I don't WANT to be in prison! I've done nothing wrong! It's all weird and oddly heroic and macho and tragic and emo and self-pitying and pathetic! I want to be suave and interesting and cool and gay and feminine and exciting and fabulous and *successful*!!! I don't want to be some put-upon macho hero! It SUCKS!"

2. "Phhhwooooar. That was pretty sexy. I looked pretty put-upon and macho and sexy in that uniform." (I am a male homosexual who likes that sort of thing.)

3. "Oh dear. Contradiction."

4. "If this actually *is* that bastard God talking to me, I'm going to be so VERY pissed off with him walking into my brain and trying to brainwash me into thinking he gets to lock me up because he loves me. That will make me really very pissed off with him. I will have a big personal problem with that guy if that's what this turns out to be."

5. "Stop being daft."

6. "Yeah, but if it IS him-"

7. "If it is him, he doesn't walk into people's brains. Stop being daft. It's you."

8. "Oh. That's a bit fucked up."

9. "Well, surely the whole point of it was acceptance. You accepted yourself. Warts and all. And you allowed other people to accept you too. You didn't get aggrieved with them when they tried to control you. And let's be honest, you've never been terribly good at doing what you're told, have you?"

10. "What does THAT mean? I'm not a Rebel! I'm an Outcast! There's a difference."

11. "Cough."

12. "What?"

13. Innocent whistling....

14. Cold stare.

15. "Well, come on, it's been getting a bit silly recently, hasn't it? Hasn't it? All the me, me, me poor put-upon me stuff? You've been at it for reeeeally a long, long time now. Months and months. Who's REALLY holding you back, Sibelian?"

16. Silence.

17. Raised eyebrow. "You're not stupid."

18. "Um." Sulk.

19. "Accchh! You're impossible!"

20. "OK, OK! Sometimes, I, too, can be bad. And prima-donnaish. I suppose."

21. "Well, there you are then. You're bad. And being bad ain't so bad? Is it?"

22. ".... I suppose not." Sulk.

23. "... you're SO like your father..."

... Which, I guess, is probably my analysis in a nutshell. I've no idea what the dream *symbolises*. But I know exactly what it means.

I'm telling myself to stop feeling sorry for myself. So I suppose I should.
 
 
Quantum
09:03 / 15.06.07
Sounds like you're on top of it to me. By any chance, was the Governor anything like your Dad?
 
 
Sibelian 2.0
09:24 / 15.06.07
I never got to meet him. There were no Dad connections... they were more Boss connections, which I seperate from Dad, as, when I was younger, me and my Pa had a proper fight that lasted years until I won and got to do what I want instead of being a doctor like him. So I don't think of him as my boss.

Sometimes, however, I think he may have been right, although he has since decided that it would have been a really bad idea, as I thought.
 
 
Mako is a hungry fish
08:53 / 16.06.07
The thing that I find most noticable is how well you seem to have done in avoiding responsibility - you seem to admit to it, but then set up circumstances so that it doesn't seem all that bad in the first place, almost with a put upon quality whereby no matter how nicely you're treated, you're still being treated harshly.
 
 
Sibelian 2.0
10:51 / 16.06.07
That's not at all unreasonable.

Of interest, perhaps, is that there was little concept at the time of the dream (which is now fading somewhat) of what was outside the prison. That was all much more vague, so there was no contrast between the "harsh" treatment and the alleged freedom I was being denied. There was no particular picture of what that freedom might look like, although I did remember taking to one of the other inmates about getting out of the prison, and that my sentence was only about a year or so. I wasn't really very interested in that freedom, I was focussed (as far as one *can* be focussed in a dream) on the present. And really, it was very pleasant. It's just that there was this very definite context that I was somewhere I ought not to be, that I could do better.

As far as I know, when you dream about being in a particular *environment*, it's supposed to be a more wide-ranging, subtle symbol rather than a complex, decodable symbol. It's about the consequences and situations that you're bringing about with your whole attitude, not necessarily addressing any specific problem or situation in your life, but signalling a general approach. And the clearest thing about this prison is that it was basically a self-imposed state.

I think I might need to go and read up a bit about this one at some point on the future, Jung had things to say about dreams of prison, as I recall, and not wishing to grow up and take responsibility.

Thank you, Mako.
 
 
Mako is a hungry fish
08:43 / 17.06.07
You're welcome, though I'd also like to point out whilst you were a distinct entity, seperate from the Prison, the Govenor, the Guards, and the Inmates, you were also the one who created them and determined how they presented themselves - just as you did with your conversation with your subconscious.

I'm curious - why did you put yourself in prison in the first place? What was the 'crime' that had been committed? Why was the prison set up as "punishment" and not rehabilitation or deterrant?
 
 
Sibelian 2.0
09:36 / 17.06.07
There was never any mention of the crime. I have no idea what it was and didn't think about it all during the dream. It wasn't relevant, somehow, in fact I suspect the dream wouldn't have been as effective if I *had* known what the crime was.

The best I can manage to drag up from it (it was several nights ago now) is a kind of generalised being crap thing.
 
 
Papess
15:41 / 17.06.07
Let me take a stab at at, because Mako said something about reminding him of the garden of eden. that I would like to expand on, because I can see that, as well.

Remember, just a theory...

Sibelian: I think the dream my mean you are inhibiting yourself with your own "comfort zone". it seems like you are the only one who is keeping you inprison, No? (*I may have to reread, this is an edit*) Things are pretty good in your life, though? Not perfect, but nothing is rocking the boat too much? Perhaps, if you try something new, it may upset that comfortable set of habits that imprison you. It is not that anything you are doing right now Sibelian, is necessarily bad. It may be telling you to just do something, for the sake of doing it, to break out of routine, or i think even more so, to break this state mind that doesn't allow for more growth. Take a litle risk, maybe? I think it is telling you, that you should definately have a little more faith in yourself as well. Maybe you are not ceasing some opportunities?

I think it is a prison, only because you say believe is a prison. To me it seems more like boarding school, or officer training camp. Which is rather nice, IMO.

Like I said, it is just a theory.
 
 
Mako is a hungry fish
17:26 / 17.06.07
Anyone have any idea what an old Elephant in a pen would refer to - it had no eyes or tusks and I'm not sure if it was born this way or if this occurred later in life, and it looked as if it were half desicated.

Now that I think on it, only one of it's eyes was missing, and I had a similar dream about a decade ago whereby I visited by a beautiful female angel who had one eye missing, though this just made her all the more beautiful - at the time I knew her to be Death, so perhaps I've just had another visitation in a different guise.

My immediate thoughts were that the Elephant represents knowledge, however it being caged and 'nuetered' by the removal of its tusks meant that it wasn't so dangerous - in the dream though, I was in the pen with the Elephant and it got pretty 'stampy' and scary when I thought this.

Maybe I'm taking things for granted.

Any ideas?

Hmmn... my Father was in the pen too, though I quickly became distracted by the Elephant - might have something to do with the quote I read recently that "the best thing a father can do is die young" which was referring to allowing children to grow up sooner, rather than later, which was something that resonated with me.
 
 
cerca_trova
13:58 / 21.06.07
in answer to Mako, from a while back.

Since, at first I had no real way of analyzing it, I had to focus on the overall feeling the dream actually gave me, and what images it was conjuring in my mind. I did quite a bit of research directly following on the Yucatan, and certain rituals performed by the ancient Maya. The green face for instance could represent the jade mask worn by a king in a funerary ritual, which also has a connection to water, since the Mayas thought of water as a symbol of the underworld and death. However, this would mean that the "next stage" or "water stage" would be death. now I can interpret this to mean either a literal death, in order to completely sep. the body from the mind. or a figurative death much like what is represented by the 13th card in the major arcana.

I feel as though I'm hitting brick walls with this.
 
 
Papess
13:53 / 04.08.07
I had a dream last night about The Doctor. Yes, Doctor Who. Of course, I had been travelling with him in his Tardis (Yes, tell me again how it is bigger than it actually looks, Doctor!). Our relationship was charged heavily with intellectual and sexual chemistry that could make one's headspin. We travelled about with him showing off. Occassionally stopping to help beings in need. All the while, I was referred to as his assistant - his sidekick - and dependant upon him to take me wherever we went, and make sure I got back home if I needed to.

I grew tired of his pomopous dislays of messiah-hood and his presumptions about what is right. All the while, he barely paid me any heed. I would think about how this wasn't about me, and at some point however, I realised he was very caught up in his saviour role. This was indeed, not about me, it was about him. I rather rolled my eyes and actually, pulled up my socks! All the while as I was leaving he stared at me, unable to ask me to come back because of his great pride. I thought as I was leaving, "How many of yourcompanions have you seduced and discarded because of your incredible self-aborption?" I certainly didn't need him to do good in the multiverse.
---

Weird dream, eh?
 
 
Sibelian 2.0
13:49 / 05.08.07
I rather like you dream, Medulla, although at this stage I don't think I could prise anything out from it. It sounds a lot like the basic subtext of the most recent Dr Who storylines, really.

I'm guessing that you're fully aware of this. So, um. Is there a situation you're in currently that resembles it in any way? Are you following around after someone in a VERY obvious way that's already so clear to you when you're conscious that your subconscious just sighs and rolls up its sleeves and drags out the most recent Dr Who subtext with a kind of resigned grimace? I'm making this up, mapping your imagery onto my own internal structures but if I dreamt something like that (what a ridiculous way to start a sentence, but who knows, it might work) I'd wake up with the feeling that my subconscious was tapping it's fingers impatiently on the table with a sort of: "You already KNOW this stuff," look on it's... face. It's rare, in my experience, that the subconscious just rips off entire tropes wholesale...

Alternatively, maybe you're just getting rid of Messianism, the whole thing, having got fed up with it from your basement up.

I'm projecting massively...
 
 
Lugue
00:48 / 06.08.07
Is there anything at all to be said about dreams of plans of travelling with casual acquaitances?
 
 
Papess
04:09 / 06.08.07
It sounds a lot like the basic subtext of the most recent Dr Who storylines, really.

Daddy Badger, I am seeing that, too. However, I haven't really been keeping up with the current episodes.

I'm guessing that you're fully aware of this. So, um. Is there a situation you're in currently that resembles it in any way? Are you following around after someone in a VERY obvious way that's already so clear to you when you're conscious that your subconscious just sighs and rolls up its sleeves and drags out the most recent Dr Who subtext with a kind of resigned grimace?

In talking with a friend of mine about this, she mentioned how it reminded her of the Pluto-Persephone myth. She is also aware of how that is a myth I have played out in my life.

Dr.Who certainly fits the bill of a Pluto archtype for me - "stealing" or seducing a "daughter of earth" (Dr.Who, why is it ALWAYS a female?! One day the writers will get wise to this.). Then he takes her into unknown and often frightening situations in different worlds...realms.

However, more like Persephone and unlike Dr.Who's "companions", I always have to find my way back home alone (not quite alone, but I will get back to this). I have had to get through treacherous territory and during a time of seemingly little to no growth in my life. It is like everything is at a stand still during that time. However, once I came out there was tremendous growth. Which, is where I am at now.

Earlier I did say I had to make it out alone, but really, like Persephone, it is the Mother-archtype of Demeter that helps Her/me out. Perhaps, being a long-time devotee of The Goddess, (in Her myriad of forms), or simply that I am a mother myself and I have precious little time to squander fumbling around in my own private underworld. Time marches on and the humans are starving!

Afterthought: *There is rather a hint of Demeter-archtype in Dr.Who - Rose's Mum and Martha's Mum, both.

...I'd wake up with the feeling that my subconscious was tapping it's fingers impatiently on the table with a sort of: "You already KNOW this stuff," look on it's... face. It's rare, in my experience, that the subconscious just rips off entire tropes wholesale...

Indeed, I do know this stuff. I seem to be drawn to these Dr.Who/Plutonian types who are emotionally unavailable and have an over-inflated sense of themself and a very low-opinion of me, even if they do desire me/wish to possess me for a while. Yes, I know it well, and I am most certainly rolling my eyes at my own stupidity.

Alternatively, maybe you're just getting rid of Messianism, the whole thing, having got fed up with it from your basement up.

Oh, indeed I am. It is funny, the Pluto-type always seem to have this messiah-complex thing going on. Much like Pluto, he may be a god, but he is the God of the Underworld. Let's face it, He is no Zeus! So, "god" - yes, messiah - no. There is a difference.

Gosh, the Dr.Who series and this dream get funnier and funnier the more I investigate it. I could even get into the bits about Persephone in her role as the terrible "Iron Queen" and there is also something here relating to the "seasons of my life", but it is probably enough of my rambling on about my intense psychological journeys.

In any case, having already eaten the seeds, I am most likely fated to another season of this! *baddum-tish!
 
 
EmberLeo
01:33 / 08.08.07
I dreamt this morning of being Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and entering into a Temple of Artemis. I don't normally work with Artemis, but the dream rang as a true one, so I dug into it more.

After a bit of divination, I am now clear that the dream I had this morning was indeed a message from Artemis, but that I am not the recipient, I am merely the human messenger. So, for the sake of clarity, I am rephrasing and cross-posting just the message, in the hopes that it reaches its intended audience, which I have been assured it will.

The Temple was a beautiful, many-arched marble gazebo overgrown with draping vines, but not so the light didn't shine through. Artemis was there, slender and athletic, but with womanly curves, pale skin, and dark hair. She was wearing simple loose but not flowy clothing. Pants and a top, with her hair up out of her face. Her nymphs were all climbing around each of the other archways in tattered, comfortable clothing. They were taller, thinner, and their skins were pale with a slight green tinge, marking them all as clearly forest creatures in humanoid form, rather than humans.

I stood for Faith when I showed Artemis a dangerous object, and asked Artemis to please tell me what should be done with it. Artemis regarded me calmly, and then shruged and said she didn't care, and that I must be the one to choose. I explained in earnest that I knew one choice was terribly evil and dangerous, and the other was good, but I didn't know how to make the right thing happen. Artemis said that no evil choice exists within her temple, and she was therefore content with my choice, whatever it was, but that I must still choose. I was frustrated, because I percieved that, while neither choice might be evil from her perspective, that doesn't mean neither choice was a mistake.

But it was clear that Artemis has no respect for a woman who cannot make a decision. So I chose something.

That is all. May you be well in your choices.

--Ember--
 
 
Papess
23:59 / 10.08.07
That is very lovely Ember. I don't know what to say about it. Especially as my head is bit messed up.

I wish I could understand what the hell is going on with me. I just woke up from a nap and the dream was so sexy and arose so much desire in me.

I ended up in this guy's apartment. I can't remember how, but I think we lived close by. I think he tricked me to get me inside, but I can't remember how. His place was HUGE, but stark, with very little furniture or anything else. There was a couple of wicker chairs and table, lots of comic books, and a big entrance closet he wallpapered over with orange and blue wallpaper. I didn't say anything then, but I will get to that closet later.

He was a skinny, geeky guy, very shy. He had a wiry frame, with short, fair hair and skin to match, which seemed to have some blemishes on it. I felt fond of him, and I wanted to know him more. Suddenly, he began to change form. I was scared at first, as he seemed to be trying to threaten me. He changed into various creatures, some of them I recognized as manga/anime type creatures. He seemed to be doing his worst. I think he was showing off, although he was terrifying at times. At some point, he became this creature that looked like a demon with green and black leathery skin, about four horns, large teeth, and he made these gestures after which the room and myself began to vibrate. The vibrations were under his power and he could make them happen by motioning with his hands and the feeling was right inside me!

I was indeed, impressed. I was glad I had not run, because I was scared at first. Now, I wanted him, I desired to be with him. So when he moved closer to me, still looking like some anime demon, I snuggled him. Yes, I nuzzled into his leathery skin and nearly purred. When I looked up, it was just this skinny guy, with clearer skin, standing in his shorts looking a bit puzzled, but kind of glad I was not afraid.

I told him I wanted him. I mentioned that I had been celibate for almost a year now (which is true IRL), and I wanted to break that spell with him. He asked me why I was celibate and said it would be a shame if we didn't have sex. I concurred, and I pushed him down, crawling on top of him to straddle him...then we locked lips...Oh my.

Suddenly I realize that I forgot something and I have to go home. I will be right back. On the way home, there is a bridge over a creek that I have to pass over on one side, and walk along the riverbank. I notice a coyote in the water who I thought was an otter at first. Nope, that was a coyote. I keep moving because I want to get back to this guy. I get home, I can't remember what the heck I had to do there, but then I leave. I pass by the same bank to go over the bridge, but now the coyote is surrounded by alligators. There are hundreds of them. Closely following the Coyote now is a glowing Red Lion, also swimming in the water. However, he was separated from Coyote when the alligators rose up to circle Coyote. The Lion started to talk to Coyote. I wasn't certain what he was saying. I thought for a moment that Coyote was going to trick the Lion, and to escape while Lion was being devoured by the 'gators, but that wasn't what happened at all.

I stood on the bank for a few minutes in awe. I saw Lion's crys had gathered all sorts of animals to Coyote's defence. Racoons, Leopards, Cheetahs, Hippos, Cranes, Elephants, Giraffes, even Mr.Snuffulopakus! They were making a lot of noise and trying to outweigh the intimidation of the Alligators with their solidarity. I decided to join in and I clapped my hands and hooted at the alligators to leave the Coyote alone. The whole thing worked, and the Coyote swam away. I was amazed to see such a display of love across species. I continued on my way to the Shapeshifter's place.

Shapeshifter and I started at once, removing clothing and kissing. He seemed very shy to me, however. I took off his trousers. It looked like he had two little sock pompoms for testicles and silkworm hanging there. I really didn't care. It didn't stop me or change my desire for him. He was a Shapeshifter, after all. At some point he did look like he was about to change things in his lower regions, as his upper body was part man, part beast throughout the foreplay, but just then, my mom walks in. Of all the cliches...! (To be fair, I am sick and my mother was over, helping me out. She was walking around my basement where I was napping at the time, I think.)

Startled, he goes to his washroom. I talk to my mom. She wants to know who this guy is and asks me a bunch of questions. However, seems more concerned about his lack of decorating ability. He comes out of the washroom and then my mom asks him all sorts of questions about the closet. covered in orange and blue paper. She thinks this is a bad idea since no one can get into it now. This guy comes out of the bathroom and my mother questions him about his closet. He opens it up, ripping the wallpaper. It is huge inside. and acts like an alcove when the doors are open. I love the closet.

But the guy is now getting ready for work and I watch him put on his uniform. He is an Ambulance Attendant from what I can tell. I feel myself loving this guy even more now because he does something that takes courage and helps people. My heart flutters and I smile while he gathers his things to go. My mom leaves to go to her place at this place.When he is dressed he leans forward to give me a kiss and a hug. While we are hugging we are both smiling and feeling tingly. I thought about how great it is that he is a shapeshifter, and how he can be anything at all for me, if he wants to, of course. I was quite happy with the primary form had. I wanted to know him so much, even if he felt so familiar, like I had known him forever. I looked up at him and said, "Oh god, I want to be with you!". He instantly pulled away and said as he aimed for the door, Yeah, but I don't want to be with you." He left. I was standing half-dressed in his apartment wondering why hell he would say that. I was crushed and angry and bewildered. I worried that I thrown away my celibacy for this. I wanted to see him again. I wanted to be his partner.

At which point, I think I woke up. confused, horny and in love with a man I have only dreamed about.

So what the hell is going on in that dream?
Did I mess up my celibacy at all, even though there was no penetration?
Would actual penetration in a dream ruin celibacy at all?
Who is this guy?
I think I am in love with this guy, have I completely lost my mind?
 
 
Papess
00:30 / 11.08.07
OH, and the animals! What is going on there?
 
 
EmberLeo
08:25 / 14.08.07
I had another goddess dream, only this one was all my own, apparently:

I dreamt I was arriving somewhere significant, and came across one of my Trance Class students talking with a Hela priestess from our community. The priestess was speaking in a very low register, and was very obviously not herself, but rather was posessed by Hela. Knowing that the student needed this input, I quietly worked around them, and let them talk.

My student noticed me and informed me that the priestess was not herself, and I replied to her that I had already noticed that. Then turned to Hela and appologized for not greeting Her properly earlier, but that I hadn't wanted to interrupt. Then I turned back to the student and said I was going to get something and would return shortly. Then I turned back to Hela and said, "That is, unless you have some message for me - I will be right back, but I'm not sure if you'll be gone by then already."

Much to my surprise (it was a formality, after all), Hela said that She did indeed have a message for me. She began to ramble on a bit about how She quite liked me when we first met, but things have changed since we first spoke, when some girl stepped between us and I could no longer see Hela nor understand Her.

I woke up a bit from this interruption, and then went back into the dream, and tried to catch up with Hela again, but was continually prevented from getting to Her for the rest of the message.

Finally, I managed to make eye-contact with the priestess, around her handlers, and she conveyed the rest of the message as succinctly as she could:

"Do not attempt the Silence alone!"

There were some other bits getting out of the dream, but once I got out of that dream, I couldn't go back to sleep properly, because I felt so strongly that I needed to wake up and get divination to figure out what the message meant, and if it was from Hela at all.

Once properly awake I did indeed get a reading - from a Hela priestess no less, though not the one from my dream. And no, Hela didn't send the dream. But I still feel it's significant.

Any thoughts as to what "Do not attempt The Silence alone!" means?

--Ember--
 
 
Papess
14:36 / 14.08.07
Wow Ember. Quite powerful! When I first read the "Do not attempt the Silence alone!", I must say it was confusing for me. At first thought, I would have beleived that would be the only way to face The Silence. Upon further reflection of the statement, I was reminded of Sophia as an emanation of the Pleroma, and existence emanating from that. Or, I am reminded of the inter-dependant state of existence that is so exquisitely described by H.H the Dalai Lama in "How to See Yourself". Or, if you prefer, the Heart Sutra:

"Form is emptiness; emptiness also is form.
Emptiness is no other than form,
form is no other than emptiness.
In the same way, feeling, perfection, formation,
and consciousness are emptiness.
Thus, Sariputra, all Dharmas are emptiness."

In going into Silence, one may feel the need to push everything out of the way instead of embracing everything and taking it into the Silence, or recognizing the Silence in everything we perceive as noise and distractions.

I don't know if that is what Hela meant, or even if it is helpful, Emberleo, but it is what that statement brought to mind for me.
 
 
grant
17:32 / 14.08.07
Basically, what Medulla said.

There seems to be an undercurrent of... well, exposed weakness, maybe? That doesn't sound exactly right - more like a technique that's not solid in martial arts (overextending knee, using strength instead of form, if that makes sense).

Or, you know, it could just be your brain MESSING WITH YOU. Brains do that. Non-profundities and meaningfulessness.
 
 
EmberLeo
19:13 / 14.08.07
Or, you know, it could just be your brain MESSING WITH YOU. Brains do that. Non-profundities and meaningfulessness.

It's true. But this time I mostly doubt it. I've been working with my dreams most of my life, trying to remember and decipher them, because they seem to contain useful information - even if only to tell me more about myself.

I do have plenty of dreams that mean nothing more than that I live, and see things, and experience things, and think things, and when I go to sleep I process it all and sort it all out, and make associations between things I hadn't before connected, etc. etc. etc. wheeeeeeee!

Those dreams I remember when I wake, but I don't remember the next day unless I write them down.

Dreams I remember vividly for a longer time tend to have something significant in them - sure, it may only be significant within my own context, but that doesn't mean it serves no purpose to try and figure out what's up.

--Ember--
 
 
Papess
22:55 / 14.08.07
Dreams I remember vividly for a longer time tend to have something significant in them - sure, it may only be significant within my own context, but that doesn't mean it serves no purpose to try and figure out what's up.

That is a good point. The whole idea of our brains messing with us can also be applied to how we perceive most of our life, also. Although, it is very apparent in our dreams.

So, as my dreams are suddenly beginning to be more and more vivid after about 7 years of very, very little recollection and zilch in the way of lucidity, i am very excited and also confused - as you all may have gathered. So, I hope you all can understand.

Last night I dreamed that I was at the place of a friend of mine, another dharma practitioner. He had to step out for a few minutes and while he was out, a couple of thugs that looked like they were from ancient India kidnapped me and took me to their hideaway in order to rape me. They had weapons on them so I didn't resist. Later when they tied me up face down to a wooden board, I remember feeling guilty I had not fought them. After all, I was celibate and this would break my vow, I thought. they seemed to know I was celibate too, and that made this all the more satisfying for them.

Somehow, when they had turned their backs on me for a bit, I loosened the trusses and got myself down off the board. I was mad at them for trying to rape me, so instead of running away when they returned, I charged at them, screeching! One ran into the house which I managed to lock him into a room and I went after the other who ran into the backyard wilderness. I was almost caught up to him when my father appears and picks up the rapist and throws him face first onto a ten foot barbed-wire fence. It was pretty gory. My father then congratulates me on preserving my celibacy, which rather gave me mixed feelings.

I woke up feeling anxious. My celibacy isn't an issue in my waking life. I have become very good at ignoring or avoiding any romantic interest anyone may have in me. In dreaming it has become some weird concern. I have gone from being done with romantic interest, to a seduction that nearly happens, to a near rape situation followed up with a gory ending.

Maybe I just forgot what dreaming is like, but is it normal for them to be crazy, violent and frightening? I am almost afraid to go to sleep tonight. Hmm, I have had trouble sleeping for many years too.

Perhaps, I need a Jungian analyst.
 
 
brother george
08:21 / 15.08.07
Being in high school again, I'm feeling a bit femaley (I'm male, but is that even a word?) or even like a hermaphrodite. Class ends or whatever and then I unfold my portable bike made by thick wires and go down fast a very rocky hill returning home I guess but I have no brakes - I'm praying and trying very hard to not crash anywhere. There are lots of people around. Although my high school was situated close to a small mountain it wasn't that rocky.

The ride feels exhilarating but a bit frightening while I'm trying to manouvre around big rocks.


P.S.: As far as I can remember, I hadn't had a dream with bicycles in it ever. First time.
 
 
brother george
08:25 / 15.08.07
I woke up feeling anxious. My celibacy isn't an issue in my waking life.

Well parhaps it is an issue in your unconscious. Or it has become one.
I have them too, when I stop a habit or something that I used to do for a long amount of time, I get dream complaints.
 
 
Papess
13:16 / 15.08.07
when I stop a habit or something that I used to do for a long amount of time, I get dream complaints.

So, you think my brain is upset that I am not having sex? That is interesting.
 
 
brother george
13:47 / 15.08.07
Not your intellectual brain, your animal "brain" (the Nephesh, kabbalistically).
Animals tend to get a bit edgy when they or their keeper fails to provide them with their needs and take care of them . They sure make lots of noise.
And because I don't understand celibacy I'm afraid I can't provide you with insight or advice that is not opposed to your current practice.
 
 
EmberLeo
20:02 / 15.08.07
I agree - it doesn't even have to be a real basic need, per se, if it's simply something you used to have a lot of. To give you an example: I gave up Coca Cola several years ago. These days, I don't even like how it tastes. But I occasionally have a nightmare that I realize halfway through a can of coke that oh no! I'm breaking the rule I set for myself! How much do I suck?!

But even if you didn't used to have sex a lot, sex is something our bodies actually percieve as necessary from a biochemical standpoint.

Your dream seems to be well within my experience for normal range. It sounds like a pretty straightforward anxiety dream, actually. Something that is a handled-but-constant concern in daily life that your concious mind doesn't fret over, but your subconcious (which has other influences, after all) still pokes at it.

--Ember--
 
 
Papess
23:30 / 15.08.07
Thank you both so much for that insight. From not having dreams for so long, and now to have such vivid dreams is a bit wild. Like coming out of solitary confinement and experiencing the sensual delights of our world again. Everything is so fantastic! Well, I am guessing it is like that.

Last night I dreamed I was fighting some corporate executives who were luring very young girls, and women who had just come out of abusive situations, into pornography by funding community programs to help develop their self-esteem. I raised hell there.

Dreams are awesome. I just have to keep my anxiety level down, I think. I wonder if incorporating a nighttime practice would help my dreaming anxiety...hmmm?
 
  

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