Bring me your perversities, Barbelith...

12:33 / 20.09.06

Bee Gees lyrics, the cause and solution of all of lifes problems.

Kiltartan Cross

12:34 / 20.09.06

I wonder if you could trace one of these things back to the source? Email whoever sent it to you, ask them to say who emailed it to them, and run down the whole chain in reverse. Might be amusing... especially if you attempted to reverse-engineer the thing in the first place to guess where it'd end up.

12:40 / 20.09.06

Or you could run a forensic analysis of the e-mail to obtain an originating MAC and IP address and a quick run on whosis or blag on the ISP should turn up the name of responsible party.

12:43 / 20.09.06

I found it funny that someone in another thread found it "moderately offensive." Which was completely opposite of how I intended the repost, but whatever, humourlessness reigns supreme these days at Barbelith.

12:54 / 20.09.06

To be fair, you yourself said you weren't entirely happy with the Puerto Rican bit.

Also worth noting that I didn't get the impression you were holding it up as being accurate, or even particularly laudable. My own reading, obviously, but I didn't take it that way.

Reminds me of the whole "what makes you gay" thing in that Marilyn Manson book, whereby having sex with someone of your own sex doesn't, but having it with someone of the opposite sex while there's an REM record on does. Equally, if not more, dodgy, but MM's thing was a bit more self-deprecating, given that as I recall the implication was he'd done all the things on the list.

Ticker

12:56 / 20.09.06

Space babies ran jammy filled through the hallways of the over active fat lady's underpants.
"Ah, sir!" He cried while painting a pretty monsterous moment of space age wonder.
"Blessed am I above all carrot born women." Murmured the young dove as she was laid bare on the window sill.
Fifty six minutes later I drove a steak all the way from Portland to Chicago for a chance to win your heart. Dearest Gwen your eyes sparkled like twisting eels sashaying acrossing the lawn. Forever we will share this moment of death rot river bank envy and kiss long good byes to the blood red hand towels.
"Philip, I will have that gun sock now." Proclaimed Elspeth as she bottomed out on the dirt road of undying perfection.
The toads winked slowly as you stroked their fragile horns. Your pride was best eaten with ketchup and toasted lightly with a dash of bittersweet reason.

12:58 / 20.09.06

But, Kali, how can humourlessness reign supreme on Barbelith when you found something as generally _unfunny_ as calling something offensive amusing? It seems to me that Barbelith must in that case be, if anything, hella too humourful.

12:58 / 20.09.06

Funily enough, I have never had any spam at work- until the day they introduced their superduper email security system. Now I'm inundated with it. Strangely, a lot of the content seems to be random passages from Moby Dick.

I don't know what this means.

13:15 / 20.09.06

It means your email system isn't showing the JPEGs which contain the actual pitch, and instead are showing the text which has been put in to fool Bayesian spam filters.

Dead Megatron

13:15 / 20.09.06

Random pages of Moby Dick? It's clearly cells of the The Invisibles sending cryptic messages to each other through your humaton mind.

Reminds me of the whole "what makes you gay" thing in that Marilyn Manson book, whereby having sex with someone of your own sex doesn't, but having it with someone of the opposite sex while there's an REM record on does

So, by that acount, having sex with someone of your own sex while there's an REM record on does not make you extra-gay?

That's the End of the World as we know it...

13:33 / 20.09.06

So you're telling me that muchbiggercock4u@ratbastard.co.uk isn't kindly feeding me this fine piece of literature in daily readable chunks out of the goodness of hir heart then?

13:39 / 20.09.06

I just deleted my original wordy post about the humourlessness because I don't feel like getting into a petty argument today. It's the first day that feels like autumn and I am in a good mood.

Ticker

13:42 / 20.09.06

Stoat, my above random post is an example of the spam technique. Though I replaced the snippet of finely slaughtered literature with my own version.

miss wonderstarr

13:45 / 20.09.06

Strangely, a lot of the content seems to be random passages from Moby Dick.

I don't know what this means.

According to a comic book I read this month, at high enough frequencies that text can become a SONIC DRILL capable of carving through SOLID ROCK... literally BORING a passage through the earth!

13:50 / 20.09.06

Oh, I know what it means that I'm GETTING the text- the filter doesn't actually block the jpoegs either. It's so hi-tech.

I just don't understand why they're all Melville.

14:01 / 20.09.06

Maybe spammers have their own book of the month club.

William Sack

14:04 / 20.09.06

How much do I net for fucking a tiger?

$530

14:11 / 20.09.06

I just deleted my original wordy post about the humourlessness because I don't feel like getting into a petty argument today.

A commendable sentiment, if a little tardy.

Still and all, I think this thread's a great demonstrator of why Barbelith's sense of humour is in rude health - particular kudos to xk, Wonderstarr, Fred and others for spinning comedy gold from comedy straw.

14:12 / 20.09.06

That's me, Haus, better late than never.

14:13 / 20.09.06

Sack: fifty dollars extra for real, fifty dollars extra for live. A hundred dollars if "live" refers to an electrical current running through the body of the tiger. A hundred extra if the "real" refers to tennis".

14:16 / 20.09.06

Ooh! I have a question: if one has sex with Fifty Cent, does that then mean that you are rewarded by a load of people coming over and weeing in your pool?

Less searchable M0rd4nt

14:18 / 20.09.06

I tried to make a total. I don't have any money but a man gave me a goat and these beans.

14:23 / 20.09.06

Mordant, your total will depend on what you did with the goat and the beans.

14:37 / 20.09.06

Do you have to wake up in the morning next to someone you don't know in a bed. I used to sleep a lot when I took trains and buses to work.

Kinda makes me feel dirty just thinking about it.

14:38 / 20.09.06

I'm constantly waking up next to my workmates.

14:44 / 20.09.06

Had sex with someone on Barbelith: $50

14:52 / 20.09.06

Too much! Many people on Barbelith would bathe for sex.

14:52 / 20.09.06

Had sex with someone on Barbelith who can refrain from complaining uselessly when something they post is gently pointed up as "a bit dodgy": $millionbillion

14:57 / 20.09.06

Many, Haus, but not all, I'll wager.

15:12 / 20.09.06

No hygiene, no love. That's my iron-clad rule, babes.