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Bring me your perversities, Barbelith...

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23:23 / 19.09.06

Ever had sex at church -- $25
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5

I've had oral sex on the steps of a church, how much is that worth?

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

23:42 / 19.09.06

Not a lightning bolt, obviously.

Bubblegum Death

00:05 / 20.09.06

$250.00

00:08 / 20.09.06

$565

I am pure filth.

00:13 / 20.09.06

But actually, after looking over some of the scores here, i'm a bit of an angel.

Must.Try.Harder!

00:13 / 20.09.06

$790.60

eep.

00:27 / 20.09.06

$755.60

i really wasn't expecting to be anywhere near this high...

00:59 / 20.09.06

$460.60

I'd say the monetary vaules are a bit arbitrary.

01:00 / 20.09.06

I'm still wining, people

Or loosing, I don't know.

ONLY NICE THINGS

01:18 / 20.09.06

Did you count every time you went up a lady as a separate score, though, DM? I can't work that one out. If I get a separate $20 for every Puerto Rican, I'm about 60 million dollars up to start with.

Hell of party.

01:21 / 20.09.06

If i get $10 for every time i smoked pot...

I'm right on your tail, Megatron.. Or is that 'Megatorn'?!

Ahahah!

... no, i don't know what it means either. It just seemed the kind of jocular humour suited to this kind of subject.

Damn. Why am i enjoying this?!

01:32 / 20.09.06

$85. To break it down, though;

Did acid - $5
Ever drive drunk - $20
Done oral/got oral in a car that was moving - $25
Had sex in a pool - $20
Spent time in jail - $15.

Would I get an extra $20 'Teddy K' kudos, though, on the basis that all this happened on the same evening?

Well it's up to you, Ms K.

02:03 / 20.09.06

I am Puerto Rico. Do my relations with the US count as being jumped or having sex in a church?

02:14 / 20.09.06

Neither. It counts as:

Done something you regret -- $20

Hallo, Paper Spaceboy

02:20 / 20.09.06

Apparently, I'm at $495. In some ways this was kind of bland, actually, and I think instead of the moderately racist ones we should picture our own worst acts...

02:21 / 20.09.06

being jumped by an acid-crazed drunk-driving church of the same sex, I'd say....

02:40 / 20.09.06

The thing about this test is that it's interesting to note the amount of folks happy to admit a pool-peeing past...for 50 cents aswell

02:42 / 20.09.06

how else are you suppose to fill up the pool?

Kiltartan Cross

06:40 / 20.09.06

Don't be seen, pissin' in the piscine.

Oh, I've pool-peed, but as the test seemed designed to showcase that I thought I'd be curt and leave off the small change.

I pool-pee, you pool-pee, ze pool-pees, we pool-pee, they pool-pee. I have pool-peed, I will pool-pee.

Our Lady Has Left the Building

07:22 / 20.09.06

$85. I also object to most of the things this quiz considers 'dodgy' being defined as such. Kali, did whoever sent this to you consider the things in the list 'perverse' or 'shameful' or is that your gloss?

07:31 / 20.09.06

It's funny how many people think this test occupies dodgy ground but still take part in it. Isn't that a bit like saying, "Hey this film's really racist!" but then paying to see it anyway?

So what do you do when you find a joke or a meme that has something "dodgy" (which here means racist and/or heterosexist) in it? repost it as is, even though you think it's wrong, or come up with something more creative for those lines? Myself, I prefer the latter.

Write it again and make the new version much better. Or just mark it down as fatuous email and not bother littering Barbelith with it at all.

ONLY NICE THINGS

07:40 / 20.09.06

Change spam!

If you do not make ten copies of Olulabelle's post and send then to your friends, TERRIBLE THINGS WILL HAPPEN.

pointless & uncalled for

07:48 / 20.09.06

I only have four friends, what ditribution pattern should I use to avoid TERRIBLE THINGS?

Phex: Dorset Doom

07:55 / 20.09.06

Will I get paid for terrible things happening to me? Because frankly I can suffer an awful lot of indignity for cash.

ONLY NICE THINGS

08:07 / 20.09.06

Jeanette didn't believe in chain letters. She DID NOT SEND ANY COPIES. That very same night, her aged mother EXPLODED, with so much force that Jeanette had one of her own mother's VERTEBRAE drivent through her SKULL. She was not even LOUCKY ENOUGH TO DIE, but is now kept in a persistent vegetative state by a REPUBLICAN SENATOR, who also SEXES HER UP.

08:09 / 20.09.06

Ever had sex at church -- $25
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25

vs

Got drunk, passed and don't remember the night before -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Had anal sex -- $80

If high dollar amount = more perverted, how are these two worked out?! Who hasn't woken up next to someone they didn't know, and who has had sex in a church?! You only get 5 more bucks for having sex in a prison than an arguably normal night out. Was this written in a US state where they're fairly puritanical about booze and botty sex? I find the whole thing laughably bad.

pointless & uncalled for

08:17 / 20.09.06

Haus - Which republican senator, I like to make informed decisions.

ONLY NICE THINGS

08:51 / 20.09.06

Bobbi thought she was making an informed decision when she only sent two copies of this email. It wasn't so informed when she was crushed by a mirrorball at her high school prom - just moments before her fiancé was planning to propose to her. She will never walk again, her boyfriend has left her and she has hives - ALL BECAUSE OF THIS EMAIL!

pointless & uncalled for

08:57 / 20.09.06

After long and exhaustinve consideration, I have sent all ten copies to the same friend.

What are my odds of survival.

ONLY NICE THINGS

08:59 / 20.09.06

Just don't buy any new shoes.

miss wonderstarr

10:26 / 20.09.06

READ THIS 1 DONT DELETE

>>>>>>I KNO THIS IS RACIST AND AN EMAIL MEME BUT I
>>>>CLDNT NOT POST IT ON BARBELITH! LOVE U ALL

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Timmy tryed on his peurto Rican maid's suspenders and pannies one day. His Dad found him and Timmy was worried he would go to Hell. His dad said these words
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I am hitting U cause I love u.
The strokes on your >>>>>>>>>>>>A$$ hurt U more than they hurt Me.

NEVVER 4GET THESE WORDS

if u are a friend and true
Listen to GODs wish for u
Dont be perverted and Gay
dont dress up in Lingerie.
>>>>>Timmy filled in this E-Mail and won $85 dollars from a Nigerian trust fund. His tool grew to above average Nine Inches. Now u do the same and
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>send to 1 friend --> meet love of life
>>>send to 2 friends ---> narry for ever and have 4 kids
>>>no friends ---> something bad with happen (aids, gay, etc)
>>>>
>>>
if u dont fill this in within 20 seconds Microl Gates of MSN Hotmail will cancel your Hotmail. This is a true message from Mike Gaytes of Hotmail MSN messenger sevices.
FILL IT IN AND
>>>>a really cool thing will happen OMG the message that flies up on ur screen is the best HAHAHA omg please do it

visit my myspace luv u >>>>>>>>

ONLY NICE THINGS

10:28 / 20.09.06

Miss Wonderstarr, you are on FIRE.

No, you actually are on fire.

Should have sent ten copies, eh?

pointless & uncalled for

10:35 / 20.09.06

MW - that is the most beautiful thing that I have seen all day. Thank you.

I will double the money from any form of african trust fund to the person that can beat that. I will need to see receipts though.

12:12 / 20.09.06

Wonderstarr, love it. Now, who's amongst us is daring enough to actually send it to their work colleagues (without a JOKE!! tag at the start)?

I only got 440.60, but I've only ever had one sex-partner, so I think it's the best I could do, under the circumstances.

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

12:19 / 20.09.06

Oh dear.

The lyric "I started a joke..." is starting to come to mind.

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