We all drive ourselves a little insane every time we do this stuff; the risk is of that insanity sticking around when we finish.
This fear isn't unique to magic. Artists and poets have the same fear that if they roll up their sleeves and cross the lines to work with the stuff we're taught is 'bad' or 'dangerous' we run the risk of not making it back whole.
Traveling into the Underworld transforms us and we know the danger is really rooted in the things we will discover about ourselves.
The fear is a guardian, an angel with a flaming sword, a three headed dog, a crone with her cauldron, standing between us and parts of ourselves that we have consciously disowned. Yet these are parts of ourselves and so whether we actively seek them or they come to us there will always be the risk of them affecting us in inappropriate ways.
I face this fear less and less as I own more parts of myself and as I wear more skins. The part of me that is aware of appropriateness is stronger than that which dwells in madness. I know this because I have tested it in many ways some magical, some non.
There is always the risk of some horror, the trick is to walk yourself through a detailed version of your fear. Once you do, you will discover you do know how to deal with it.
We have cautionary tales of those that did not make it back for good reason. The work of the self can be dangerous, but only as much as not doing that work is also dangerous.
If you need to learn to have faith in your ability to maintain and wish to go cautiously that is perfectly fine. Many ritual approaches are about acclimating to this process. Just remember the risk of madness is not unique to magic but rather the rigid ways we have structured our perceptions of what *is*. |
