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Dumped by txt - life in the tech age sucks.

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rising and revolving

21:29 / 01.05.06

Is it bad of me that I desperately want to read the relationship car-crash of which Mistoffelees speaks upthread?

It is, isn't it?

21:32 / 01.05.06

I was rude before, in jest maybe, but yea it was rude and sexist.

Are you sorry at all? Or, at least, willing to take a look at why you were rude and sexist?

21:43 / 01.05.06

If I upset anyone then yea sure I'm sorry. I'll apologise if they want me to, do you want an appology? If you want to put me on the couch to discover why I was rude and sexist then go for it.

21:55 / 01.05.06

Is it bad of me that I desperately want to read the relationship car-crash of which Mistoffelees speaks upthread?

I could pm you the link (don´t want to post it here). I don´t know, if you could get the same kind of irritation and amazement, though, since you haven´t known their "poster history".

*

22:20 / 01.05.06

I've said all I needed to say. A "you're right, won't do it again" was all I was really looking for, but I'm not terribly attached to the outcome right now.

The Return Of Rothkoid

22:57 / 01.05.06

As regards technological development and the ending of relationships, though... does this mean Phil Collins was cutting edge when he asked for a divorce via fax?

Tryphena Absent

23:04 / 01.05.06

Is it bad of me that I desperately want to read the relationship car-crash of which Mistoffelees speaks upthread?

It is, isn't it?

It's very bad. Very very bad. I want to read it too. Purely as a learning experience you understand. Just to ensure I never do anything similar... I wouldn't dream of reading such a thing as simple entertainment *whistles innocently*

23:20 / 01.05.06

Your pm is on the way, Nina.

Ex

10:40 / 02.05.06

Yes. I also need to see the thread because I am doing important objective research into online community space and negotiations of the private/public aaah arse. I don't need to see it.

The technology/sexual communication crossover is fantastic - I have an unpleasant fondness for posts in large Livejournal communities along these lines:

I want to ask the community's advice. I have been with my partner for three years, and although they think that we are "a match made in heaven" I don't believe I can Truly commit my Special Heart to them. I am a Free Soul, a limitless spiritual trickster, and last week I made the nasty with somebody from work and I haven't told the partner yet. What now?

The post then receives some thoughtful advice from strangers. And anywhere up to a week later, a post from the aforementioned partner saying: 'STANDING. RIGHT. HERE.'

Less searchable M0rd4nt

11:26 / 02.05.06

If I upset anyone then yea sure I'm sorry. I'll apologise if they want me to, do you want an appology?

That would be lovely, kitten. Something along the lines of: "Okay, I realise I was a bit out of lne what with the generalised denigration of women as moral cowards who hide behind technology rather than deal with people face to face. Also that whole belittling the people who called me on generalised denigration ect--bit off, that. My bad." If you could manage something of that sort without turning it into a big old sneer at how silly the suggestion that wonderful you could possibly have offended anyone is, that would be just scrumptious.

If you want to put me on the couch to discover why I was rude and sexist then go for it.

She Done Me Wrong; if you knew what I'd suffered you would forgive my supposed sexism, which is really only the soft whimper of a broken heart; too manly to demonstrate said broken heart except by taking pot shots at women in general; find all this looney feminist PC nonsense an affront to aforesaid manlyhoodlyness. 'Bout the size of it?

12:52 / 02.05.06

I'm sorry to anyone who was offended by my degrading and generalised post about woman. It was an off hand comment without much for-thought and consederation for the feelings of others.

As for the belittling of people who called me out on this matter, namely my good man (id)entity, I would have backed down sooner, but I found your tone condesending and simply did not like the way you asked. I am sorry (id)entity I apologise to you, but not to the few who saw this as an opitunity to burn akira.

And thank you Lorde Mordant Carnival for your insights, they were pritty close, except I like it when girls toy with my heart, thats either because I'm a fire sign and emotionly driven, or down to my nine inch nails phase in my late teens.

13:56 / 02.05.06

I am a Free Soul, a limitless spiritual trickster

That sounds familier. Although, in my experience, it'd normally emanate from someone seconds away from being Barbe-banned.

*

14:58 / 02.05.06

akira, I'm sorry you found my tone condescending. I've been practicing expressing myself in a particular way so as to avoid such misunderstandings. Do you have any specific suggestions for how I could have made myself clear to you without sounding condescending?

15:07 / 02.05.06

It was the way it just went on and on, a short sentance would have done, like 'I dont mind you making jokes akira but try not to be degradeing or Xoc might put you in one of his comics.' But I dont think I'm the right guy to ask advise from.

ONLY NICE THINGS

15:20 / 02.05.06

But that wasn't what he was trying to say, was it, akira? How would you have preferred him to express what he was trying to say?

15:27 / 02.05.06

I must be taking stupid pills. I just awnsered that didnt I? You've stumped me there.

*

15:44 / 02.05.06

It seems you're suggesting three things with your example:
1) It's concise
2) It includes a statement affirming the person's intent or ability to be humourous
3) It includes a joke to defuse tension
I'll think about these. I'm not sure about 3), as my jokes fall rather flat when I'm dealing with sexism, racism, or homophobia, but I can probably use the other two. Thanks.

Disco is My Class War

15:58 / 02.05.06

The post then receives some thoughtful advice from strangers. And anywhere up to a week later, a post from the aforementioned partner saying: 'STANDING. RIGHT. HERE.'

It's weird when one's response to that is to question the offender's use of filters rather than thinking they're a complete idiot right off the bat.

Livejournal, though. Livejournal is designed to enable dodgy relationship musings along those lines. It's why I finally gave up Livejournal. Too tempting to use it as an emotional dumping-ground.

(I so want to read that thread. And so don't.)

22:57 / 02.05.06

can i just add, akira, that the lack of sense of tone meant the lack of some important content/meaning in a txt message that began this thread, one which caused me distress and pain that was, it so happens thankfully, mistaken.

i think you have taken (id)entity's message in one particular way and then, having done so, declined to just make a serious, unfettered apology (one meritted in the asking, i might add, imho). that one mistakes a tone in a text is not surprising. but not admitting to others that this can be the case and blithely blundering with the matter is not so exusable, especially in this community. the point of the thread is about mistaking tone etc in 'net communication and i feel that your intransigence has derailed the issue of the thread.

please satisfactorily close the issues id and others have raised and then revisit the purpose of the thread? that'd be nice, ta.

03:13 / 03.05.06

Livejournal, though. Livejournal is designed to enable dodgy relationship musings along those lines.

Livejournal is where I happened to find out about my (now ex-)girlfriend's new boyfriend, before she got around to actually telling me. While we were still, as far as I knew, seeing each other.

Didn't last long, after that. Ended via email, natch. Of course, since we met in a chatroom, it's only fitting.

03:41 / 03.05.06

I got fired by email once. That really pissed me off as it was a small business, and the owner had my phone number.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

06:06 / 03.05.06

I was once called into work just to be fired. I think I would've preferred a text message. Something along the lines of "Tuna--dont come to work anymore i just dont think we are right for each other i will always appreci8 the time we had together--love, Work" would've been touching.

10:03 / 03.05.06

"the point of the thread is about mistaking tone etc in 'net communication and i feel that your intransigence has derailed the issue of the thread."

I thinks it a perfect example of how life in the tech age sucks. Not the initial comment by me (obviously) but the subsequent 'derailment' and missunderstanding that comes with not being able to talk face to face, and cirtanly on my part it seems, the lack of ability to articulate, or sutably express emotion using only the written language.
But saying that, I have never had a problem with anyone here before and no-one untill now had expressed dissatisfaction with my use of tone either. I think the trick is to try not to assume to much. Were not all literary geniouses.

10:49 / 03.05.06

I think the trick is to try not to assume to much. Were not all literary geniouses.

No-one's saying that you have to be. However, a little thought before posting goes a long way. What assumption did you feel was being made about the post you were called on?

Back on the subject of texting as communication.

I actually text far more than I talk on my mobile. I've never really liked talking to people by phone. Texts are as limited as emails or letters when it comes to highly emotive communication. In fact even more so, as you're limited on the size of the text you can send (yes, you could send one massive "Dear John/Jane" letter over the course of several texts, but frankly it's cheaper to buy a stamp).

Is there any context in which a break-up could be done via text and not be percieved as "cowardly"? I would have thought that situations where the person doing the breaking thinks that nothing is going to be achieved by breaking up in person. Perhaps thinking that the other person will not handle the break up in a rational manner they would text because it's (a) quicker than snail-mail/email, and (b) it prevents a messy public scene?

I think, in the normal scheme of things, that people in a relationship owe it to the other person to actually discuss the reason why they're breaking up. But perhaps if all that has already been said and done as the relationship breaks down then a text/letter/email/answering machine message could be percieved as the full stop?

12:04 / 03.05.06

But perhaps if all that has already been said and done as the relationship breaks down then a text/letter/email/answering machine message could be percieved as the full stop?

touche! evil, well put...

indeed, in my case there was much to be said, all of which was pretty much contrary to the direction i thought it had all gone on my reading of the txt... good thing, talking. very good thing.

12:14 / 03.05.06

It certainly is.

How're you doing anyway, astro?

12:50 / 03.05.06

all of which was pretty much contrary to the direction i thought it had all gone on my reading of the txt

[Does the Told Ya So Shuffle and the Benefit of The Doubt Boogie]
Good show.

14:05 / 03.05.06

However, a little thought before posting goes a long way.

Did you intend to insult me then? That would be good advise if I was 5 yearls old.

What assumption did you feel was being made about the post you were called on?

They didnt have to assume anything, its pritty clear I was being a sexist sweeping generalisation making scum bag. Why are you bringing this up again?

ONLY NICE THINGS

14:08 / 03.05.06

That would be good advise if I was 5 yearls old.

OBJECTION OVERRULED!

14:20 / 03.05.06

Haha, how did you know?

15:15 / 03.05.06

Holy shit mist, I feel bad that the thread you speak of is one of the most entertaining ever.
THere are 'unspoken' rules for threesomes, but I just assumed everyone knew them! That is my fault to be honest. He's not a bad guy. He's a lovely guy with the best heart and so very kind... he just messed up and then messed up more! My neighbour is a model and he's gone from his ex who was a beast on wheels... to me giving him confidence... to now a model. Just ticks me off how he's just taken the confidence I gave him and f@$cked me over!
Wow.

16:39 / 03.05.06

Did you read the part, where she complains about Tom Jones´ sweat yet, Jack?

17:07 / 03.05.06

She's silly, Tom Jones is cool.

17:20 / 03.05.06

I wann see that thread now. Where can I find it?

Tryphena Absent

17:20 / 03.05.06

That's a spoiler Mist! I'm only on page 8!

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