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Condiments

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23:42 / 25.02.06

Well, I didn't intend this to be an all purpose sauce 'n stuff thread, but why the hell not?

Franchise sauces are great. In the UK we have a little thing called brown sauce - vinegary, malty, spicey thick lovliness. The most popular brand being HP, and with good bloody reason (although Daddies is ace).

23:45 / 25.02.06

Dave, to my mind, that sounds too good.
It's the vinegar in brown sauce that I love, so I really don't need convincing.

23:57 / 25.02.06

I love 1000 Island Dressing on everything. Including on my partner. And by partner, I mean right hand. And by right hand, I mean bloody stump.

My other favorite condiment is Brundlefly's upchuck. Yay! Wholesome!

Bubblegum Death

23:57 / 25.02.06

The greatest gift my mom ever gave me for Christmas, was probably a gift set of Ass-Whoopin' hot sauce and barbeque sauce. The were shaped like cowboys; the lid was a cowboy hat.

I used some of that BBQ earlier today.

00:00 / 26.02.06

Matt, you've just provided me with a LOL.

Barbeque sauce is teh bad ass.

Okay then, what are the most popular American condiments?

Happy Dave Has Left

00:15 / 26.02.06

As an aside to the whole brown sauce business, (or 'broon saaas', as we call it up north) a good friend of mine was just round and gave me a bottle of his homemade 'hot sauce'. He's a soldier, and he makes it to take on operations with him - his description of it was "Basically, I wanted to make a sauce that attacked your tongue from every direction at once - a sauce that left nowhere to hide."

I've smelled it.

It frightens me.

00:16 / 26.02.06

Chipotle South Western sauce. Of course it is! If anyone cares.

00:24 / 26.02.06

I bloody care!

Dave, any idea how it's made?

Happy Dave Has Left

00:37 / 26.02.06

He said it was an initially undocumented process, but I gather it basically involved every chilli sauce and derivative of chilli sauce he had in his cupboard/acquired while off fighting wars. Plus Guiness.

I'm still scared.

Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown

02:07 / 26.02.06

Hmm...

We had a wicked awesome mayo at Sharkey's, a cafe/grille/bar that I worked at this summer. It had chili powder, garlic powder, parsley, salt, pepper, little bit of worchester sauce, and a pinch of cayenne in it. We did that on a club house sandwhich (three slices of bread, one with grilled chicken, the other with bacon, lettuce, and tomato), and its the bee's knees.

Also good is homemade cocktail sauce, which goes with damn near everything fish-related, made from mayo, horseradish, ketchup, worchestire, salt, and pepper. Do it right and its creamy and just nummy.

I am, finally now, thinking of grilling some chipotles and blending them up into a puree, cooling it, and folding it into some mayo. That'd be interesting on burgers.

Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown

02:10 / 26.02.06

Oh, and on grilled/toasted cheese sandwhiches, the only thing to have is mustard pickles. Basically the Piccali thing described above...actually, it IS the Piccali thing described above, just by a different company. The veggies taste great, and the mustard itself is divine on grilled cheese sandwhiches, especially with a nice sharp white cheddar inside with some onions on big slices of a crusty white french loaf.

...dammit, all this drool is going to do to my laptop what tea did to Nina's.

Mmmm...grilled cheese...and baked beans...

05:27 / 26.02.06

Sriracha! I believe Bard mentioned it or something like it (garlic and chilis); it's lovely for adding some spice to most anything, especially (of course) Thai food.

In the same vein, my refrigerator is littered with sesame oil, chili oil, and various curry pastes which flavor fried rice very nicely, as well as some Chinese sauces such as hoisin, soy, oyster, and black bean paste.

Basalmic vinegar and lemon juice are both very nice for lentils, as is the ubiquitous olive oil, which I use for most everything I can. (Not a condiment usage, persay, but brownies made with olive oil have a delightful fruity undertone.)

Sweetened rice vinegar goes very well on cucumber and tomato salad, especially with a few drops of the aforementioned sesame oil.

Molasses is perfect on oatmeal, and, oddly enough, I love it in coffee.

As to mustard, I'm afraid I only have the American and spicy Chinese kinds, but I do have whole mustard seed and a spice grinder for those special occasions when neither will do.

I have a few pounds of homemade cranberry sauce in the freezer still, leftovers from November; my uncle made it with Clementines, rinds and all, and Triple Sec, and it's remarkably delicious on stuffing, turkey, and the like.

14:51 / 26.02.06

Edinburgh Chippy Sauce is good, aye. I used to get (deep-fried?) half pizzas with it on after a night on the beer; was quite the treat.

Din't know it had a special name.

15:15 / 26.02.06

I'm not fond iof Edinburgh chippy sauce, but then I don't like Brown Sauce much. I like the honesty of the English chippy better. I prefer vinegar on my chips. Or mayonnaise. Ketchup is horrid.

Just been rooting around in the kitchen and I see that we have rock salt, sea salt, low sodium salt, black pepper corns, marmite, red wine vinegar, mayonnaise, English mustard, coarse grain mustard, Thai sweet chili sauce, hot chili sauce and red tabasco.

I am particularly fond of mustard, especially English mustard, and often use it in cooking but the trick is always to judge the concentration right. The story goes that Lady Colman was kept in fur coats by the mustard that people left on the side of their plates. A little goes a long way.

Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown

16:03 / 26.02.06

Must agree with the vinegar point, Xoc. Malt vinegar on fries/chips is the only way to go.

...though I personally DO like ketchup on them as well.

Looking at my spice box, I've got two different kinds of salt (regular and sea), cumin, thyme, rosemary, blackening spices (best on salmon, yum!), grill spices, some lemon+herb stuff for chucking on fish before cooking, tumeric, basil, pepper, pepper corns, and sage.

P. Horus Rhacoid

20:38 / 26.02.06

Aunt Jemima is the one true syrup

I would like to register my disagreement with this in the strongest terms possible. Aunt Jemima, Log Cabin, and other store-bought varieties of 'maple syrup' don't deserve the name. Unless it's made from actual sap from actual maple trees, ideally trees located in Maine or Vermont, I will draw myself up to my full height (6 foot 4) and look violently down my nose at it. Honestly.

Exceptions to the rule: Waffle House restaurants, ubiquitous in the American South. Actual maple syrup would ruin the experience.

Bubblegum Death

21:07 / 26.02.06

You know what's really good?

Jerk seasoning. It goes on anything. Hamburgers, shrimp, fish, sausage patties, and especially chicken.

21:34 / 26.02.06

We have a can of maple syrup that came from Canada. We only have it on special occasions because it's so lovely.

00:19 / 27.02.06

Jerk seasoning

Is that made up of scrapings from Ernst Zündel? 'Cause he's a world-class jerk.

Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown

03:00 / 27.02.06

We did a jerk chicken sandwhich at Sharkey's. I suppose it was the chickens that annoyed the farmers the most.

...anyway.

Marinade a chicken breast in jerk seasoning and oil overnight, then grill it nicely. Throw it on a toasted chiabatta bun with some cilantro yogurt (chop cilantro, throw in yogurt with lemon juice, salt, and pepper), and a bit of lettuce.

Damn that's good eats.

12:58 / 27.02.06

I have a bad condiment story, involving (oh yes, I'll name the manufacturer: Baxter's) seafood sauce. I was tucking into a nicely made prawn cocktail with the big prawns, which I must confess are not my preference, but anyway I love prawn cocktails (with thousand island dressing at any rate!!!!) and there was a sort of horrible barbecue sauce hint to the whole thing. I thought it might be the tiger prawns but it wasn't.

The stuff stinks too. I'd describe it better, but I ain't opening the jar to smell that shit. I was retching doing the dishes with the bowls with it in.

13:00 / 27.02.06

The thing I'm most upset about is that it's a trick thousand island/marie rose sauce. It looks the same, and initially tastes not dissimilar, but then, yuk.

13:17 / 27.02.06

Balsamic Vinegar- 10 year aged- it costs a bloody fortune - about £10-15 a bottle but you will not regret it- it comes out gloopy like syrup or treacle- you don't need to mix it with oil/ mustard/ honey for the best salad dressing EVA!!!1!!1 anybody else eating this?

Also the new Worcester sauce ad where they put it omn chips- does anyone actually do that- or was it something made up by the ad agency??

13:28 / 27.02.06

Question

Does anyone know the recipe for Samurai Sauce - much loved condidment in Belgian waffle houses. I went to a coastal resort in Belgium a year or two ago (due in part to see Anthony Gormley's "Another Place") and we had this fantastic sauce on our chips wherever we went. It has the consistency of Mayo but it's has a chilli kick. It's the best damn sauce I've ever had.

13:39 / 27.02.06

Tobasco sauce rules the school. A couple of splashes of that with cheese-on-toast and I'm in Paradise. It's great with scrambled eggs too. Mix it with ketchup for a great dip for chips.

West Indian Hot Pepper Sauce is lovely lovely hot lovely stuff.

Spicy branston pickle enables the creation of the perfect corned beef sandwich (it's not just a beautiful dream anymore).

Garlic mayonaise, with prawns. Hell, with celery.

trouble at bill

13:41 / 27.02.06

Why in the name of god has no one yet mentioned Gentleman's Relish (ironically or otherwise)? Further details here for the unenlightened.

Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown

15:42 / 27.02.06

Gad....super-aged or reduced balsamic. Food of the gods, man. Food of the gods.

It goes on ANYTHING. Beef, pork, chicken, duck, game, fishcakes, salads, ANYTHING. Just drizzle over and you're good to go. Balsamic is one of the major condiments I'm currently missing.

For a real nice little salad mix aged balsamic, a little olive oil, and cocktail sauce together, then for the salad mix baby spinach, cucumber, and sliced kiwi fruit (I was just going to put "kiwi", but then I remembered how diverse we barbeloids were...and I've never tried the salad with bird in it before). Goes very nicely with some pan seared salmon, or salmon cakes.

My Mom Thinks I'm Cool

16:04 / 27.02.06

I've had arguments over the better of Tapatio or Cholula hot sauce - but I'd put either far above boring old Tabasco. I never see either out here, maybe you have to be in the western US to find them.

One of those Chili's/Ruby Tuesdays/Friday's/etc places has this amazing Tiger Sauce for your fries. Only I can never remember which and every time I ask I'm denied. I think it's some kind of mix of mayo and bbq sauce? with spices?

All over Idaho they do "fry sauce" which is basically thousand island but mixed a little different. More mayo and less ketchup and no relish or something.

right now I don't even have black pepper thanks to my "communist" roommate who sees sharing as a reason to eat my stuff and not replace it. no wonder the USSR collapsed.

P. Horus Rhacoid

16:54 / 27.02.06

Back home we have a bottle of chipotle hot sauce called 'Whoopin' Ass Hot Sauce.' The bottle is in the shape of a cowboy, and the sauce lives up to the name. My dad adopts a cowboy accent whenever it's mentioned.

Recently I've developed a love for anything chili-related- I tear through bottles of chili sauce at a frightening rate, and chili powder in any context is, frankly, the bees' fucking knees.

Question for you British chaps and chapesses: what precisely is this 'salad cream'? It sounds... unpleasant, but then it sounds like mayonnaise, for which I have an irrational and visceral dislike. The discovery that Thousand Island dressing, for instance, is mayonnaise mixed with ketchup has ensured that I will never, ever try it. It could taste delicious, I'll never know.

17:08 / 27.02.06

Salad Cream is kind of like a more vinegery sweeter yellow mayonaise and a staple British condement throughout the 70's and 80's- imagine a hybrid between Heinz ketchup and mayo.

It had a bit of a relaunch a couple of years back with a big ad campaign from Heinz- it inspired me to buy a bottle and i ate it 2-3 times with retro salads (grated carrots, Quiche and jacket potatoes) it was nice to know its still there but not what you would call a sophisticated flavouring....

I do remember its also good with chips...

17:12 / 27.02.06

Imagine a hybrid between Heinz ketchup and mayo. but without the tomatoes obviously...

17:27 / 27.02.06

While i'm here just add my bit about mustard- English mustard should never contain vinegar- just water- giving a stronger mustard flavour- more like a wasabee- french mustards tend to be vinegar based either wholegrain or smooth like a dijon the mustardis mixed with vinegar- IMHO this will fuck with your ham sandwich or Roast beef- better used in a salad dressing or maybe with a Barbecue...

I have some very good Dijon with olives... mmmm and another wholegrain with sundried tomatos which i got for christmas and have yet to sample.

Olive tapenade- now there's a good condement- olives mashed up with maybe anchovies garlic, capers lemon juice- good as either a brushetta type thing or mixed into a pasta sauce...

subcultureofone

18:30 / 27.02.06

two southern favourites:

pickapeppa sauce

dat'l do-it hellish relish

Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown

18:48 / 27.02.06

"Brain Damage Hot Sauce". That was a classic, with the little plastic brain as the screw-top.

21:20 / 27.02.06

Dat'l do it is made from the only hot pepper indigenous to Florida.

I know this because I have a bottle of it on the my hot sauce roundabout. I have a lazy susan dedicated just to hot sauce. There's another one in there that's like a spicier version of pickapeppa -- I think it's called Cape Fear something sauce.

Boboss: you have not had mango chutney until you have had my mother's mango chutney. Wars have been started and empires lost over lesser chutneys. Lime pickle I can take or leave, but I have a real weakness for Mrs. Patak's Garlic Relish. They pale in majesty compared to my mother's mango chutney. I have peeled the mangos. I have weighed the raisins. I have stirred it as it brews.

I got turned onto Heinz Curry Ketchup by my beloved spouse, who was getting it from a supplier in Amsterdam. It tastes a little like HP Curry Sauce, but sort of with a (jarred, sweet, non-grant's-mother's) mango chutney vibe mixed in.

I'm also very fond of Malaysian sos cili -- Chili Sauce. It *looks* like ketchup, again, but so very much is not. The redness is from the peppers it's made from. The flavor comes from garlic. Peppers and garlic, what could be better? It's not nearly as hot as Sriracha hot sauce, which I've been known to put on anything Asian. Bright red and in a squeeze bottle. No blandess can survive.

I've made a few of my own hot sauces from vinegar (apple cider and balsamic) along with whatever peppers (scotch bonnet, jalapeno, serrano) happen to be around. And garlic, rosemary, whatever's growing out front.

I loves me some condiments.

I once discovered that banana bread with homemade piccalilli wasn't half bad, but I'm not sure I'd recommend that to anyone. A bit like eating mustard on instant oatmeal.

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