A little pre-reading preamble. In the following post I use the letter Z: please do not be annoyed or put off or otherwise intimidated by the occurrence of Z. It is inspired by some other Lithers use of ‘ze’ in place of he or she. By ‘Z’ I mean the set of {us, them, he, she, you, I, and other such words that reflect this division}. I hope that this makes the following easier to understand…
Does Z remember a short while ago when there were Zs screaming fight, fight, fight? And then there were other Zs who were attempting to dispel the illusion of false separation? Right left, up down, black white, etc, all the same, ya?
And in that thread, Z could refer back (if Z so decided) to the High/Low Booby trap, which was also about collapsing duality in terms of upside down pentagram vs. right-side up pentagram operations, so to speak.
More recently Zs have been listing Z’s favorite deities like these Zs might list Z’s favorite bands or books or whatnot in other areas of the vast Litherland community. Yarr, it’s all one big interwoven web—that’s jive Z! But what was immediately interesting, to Z anyway, was the nudge-nudge, wink-wink distinction between Z using a deity or deities, and the deity or deities using Z. Z is taking it for granted that the nudge-wink distinction was intended to avoid falling into a similar High/Low booby trap, and acknowledge the flip side of the coin, ya?
But then Z might be prone to ask what is it really?. Which, some Zs assure other Zs, is a question that has been unanswerable for many, many, many a Z’s age, and shall likely remain an open question for many more. And yar, history sure plays a role in the lives of deities and Zs, but when it comes down to it asking if magick is real is much like asking if real is real, at least that’s how it feels to Z.
While Z can’t answer the question of what is really real without begging the question, perhaps Z can answer the question of what it is to exist as a Z who holds that what is really real is that which is real to that Z. But maybe all Z could do here is point, and maybe the words which are history--Z’s relics of endless events gone by--fall away. Perhaps it is there in that singular state which is absolutely empty and yet is absolutely full that Z is born anew/dead again. But notice that Z still cannot even answer Z’s second question, and if Z speaks aloud or in Z’s head Z falls back into the days gone by, the history that divides, the words that tear Z to shreds. So it seems to Z that even if what is really real is what is real to Z, this remains inexpressible, and the moment Z tries to describe it to Z, Z once again falls into a similar booby trap of division.
Here Z quotes Persephone for the wonderful, “I believe that all words contain their opposites; but that you have to keep in the back of your mind and not the front, or else you’d get nothing said or done.” When Z does Z divides. Or else Z doesn’t do. What Z is trying to get at here is that if Z wants to avoid the same sorts of high/low booby traps by believing that Z use deity/ies and deity/ies use Z, then what or who is Z? Who is Z working for/employing?
In other words, when you (as a Z) commune with your chosen deity/ies and they/you do their/your bidding, who are you? Who are you really?
Or is this forever unanswerable, like what is really real? Do we not even know our own identity?
Z really wants to know!
O + I = Z (mod Z) |
And Lothar, that you are "...continu[ing] to know [your] heart better each year and how to manifest those passions into reality," makes me happy, because you seem to have a good heart and getting to know Z’s good heart is what I wish for all Z roaming around this ball of muck. Oops, was that some Love and Light slipping in there?