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Chuck Norris Random Fact Generator

 
  

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Benny the Ball
09:43 / 25.12.05
Steve Ditko drew Chuck! Wow!
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:56 / 25.12.05
I'd just like to wish Chuck Norris a merry Christmas.
 
 
Charlie's Horse
14:16 / 25.12.05
The opposite of peace isn't war, it's Chuck Norris.

and

In the fourth grade Chuck Norris completed a science project. The Beatles were the result.
 
 
Tits win
11:48 / 27.12.05
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.
 
 
matthew.
14:39 / 27.12.05
I'd just like to wish Chuck Norris a merry Christmas

I think you mean "happy birthday".
 
 
Tits win
01:25 / 30.12.05
Not many people know this but, Walker - Texas Ranger is actually a hidden camera show on Chuck Norris's life.
 
 
Tits win
01:27 / 30.12.05
Chuck Norris doesn't need to use email or a cell phone. He only communicates through pain.
 
 
Tits win
01:28 / 30.12.05
The role of Willy Wonka in the remake of 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' was originally offered to Chuck Norris. However, he backed out of the project after the producers rejected his idea of a final fight scene with Charlie in which most of the cast dies.
 
 
Tits win
01:29 / 30.12.05
Kryptonite only makes Chuck Norris stronger.
 
 
Tits win
01:30 / 30.12.05
Christopher Reeve said he fell off a horse because he didn't want to admit Chuck Norris paralyzed him with a roundhouse kick.

I'm not smoking. Honest.

(Alright. maybe a bit of crack...)
 
 
Tits win
01:30 / 30.12.05
Chuck Norris doesn’t have a horn in his pick-up truck. Instead he channels all his roadrage in one gigantic roar of pure manhood. The roar is so powerful that it makes all the other vehicles implode instantly, killing everybody sitting inside them. He then roundhouse kicks his way out of his imploded truck.
 
 
Tits win
01:31 / 30.12.05
Saddam Hussein was toppled from power after inviting Chuck Norris to move to Iraq, proving that Saddam was trying to acquire a Weapon of Mass Destruction.
 
 
Tits win
01:34 / 30.12.05
Chuck Norris doesn't open doors for his dates. He roadhouse kicks them down. Her, too.
 
 
Tits win
01:35 / 30.12.05
"Luke, Chuck Norris is your father"
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
18:40 / 02.01.06
According to an email I received from a colleague while at work, "Chuck Norris does NOT sit at his desk talking about fucking Star Wars all night".
 
 
iamus
00:27 / 03.01.06
...he just fucks it all night without talking.
 
 
P. Horus Rhacoid
02:42 / 03.01.06
Everyone loves getting turned on. Everyone loves high-kicking martial-arts action.

Chuck Norris is so amazing he can even function as a metaphor for a relationship.
 
 
Tits win
00:39 / 04.01.06
In 1997, Chuck achieved a milestone in his life by being the first man ever in the Western Hemisphere to be awarded an 8th degree Black Belt Grand Master recognition in the Tae Kwon Do system. This was a first in 4,500 years of tradition. This one's true folks.
 
 
Tits win
00:42 / 04.01.06
Chuck Norris can peel oranges with his eyelids.
 
 
netbanshee
12:57 / 09.01.06
Apparently Chuck has started the World Combat League. Teams fighting from different cities to compete to be roundhoused by Chuck Norris himself.
 
 
electric monk
13:36 / 09.01.06
When Chuck Norris gazes into the Abyss, the Abyss looks away and pretends it's gazing at something else.
 
 
Gypsy Lantern
12:34 / 11.01.06
Chuck Norris responds to the Chuck Norris Random Fact Generator website!

http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx
 
 
netbanshee
12:36 / 11.01.06
Chuck weighs in on the facts circulating about him on the net... can he be any more awesome?
 
 
Liger Null
12:43 / 11.01.06
He seems to go out of his way to ensure that the facts are just "made up one-liners". Hmmmm...methinks the gentleman doth protest too much.

I like how he takes the opportunity to throw in a plug for his literary efforts.
 
 
Benny the Ball
12:49 / 11.01.06
I was quite disappointed to go to the 'kick-start' link on his site, and not be roundhoused...
 
 
Chiropteran
13:06 / 11.01.06
I was quite disappointed to go to the 'kick-start' link on his site, and not be roundhoused...

That misnomer just saved your life.
 
 
Evil Scientist
09:15 / 14.02.06
Guess who's in line to manage the England footy team now Sven's leaving?

That's right!

Vote NOW!!!
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
17:16 / 14.02.06
I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously.

I can totally see Chuck Norris at his computer chuckling to himself and saying "what silly fun! well, boys will be boys." and then taking a swig of orphan blood to fuel his fell powers.

Wotta guy!
 
 
netbanshee
05:40 / 15.02.06
Chuck also spent his Valentine's day at the White House wearing black cowboy boots w/ his tux. I wonder how GW feels being in the presence of the most powerful man in the world.
 
 
Invisible Queen
08:18 / 16.02.06
I don't know what the lure is with Chuck Norris. Vin Diesel is the MAN. Plus his random fact generator was first and the others are just knockoffs.

Vin Diesel is hope itself.
 
 
Daemon est Deus Inversus
01:45 / 18.02.06
I feel culturally enhanced by "Walker, Texas Ranger." Also, if you wander back home about 4:00 or 5:00 AM, you can usually find an infomercial with Chuck having his cute blonde wife demonstrating an exercise machine.
 
 
Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown
04:42 / 18.02.06
I'm sorry...the thread has suckered me in.

Once upon a time in China, some believe, around the year one double-ought three. Head priest of the White Lotus Clan, Vin Diesel was walking down the road, contemplating whatever it is that a man of Vin Diesel's infinite power contemplates - which is another way of saying "who knows" - when a Shaolin monk appeared, traveling in the opposite direction. As the monk and the priest crossed paths, Vin Diesel, in a practically unfathomable display of generosity, gave the monk the slightest of nods. The nod was not returned. Now was it the intention of the Shaolin monk to insult Vin Diesel or did he just fail to see the generous social gesture? The motives of the monk remain unknown. What is known, are the consequences. The next morning Vin Diesel appeared at the Shaolin Temple and demanded of the Temple's head abbot that he offer Vin Diesel his neck to repay the insult. The Abbot at first tried to console Vin Diesel, only to find Vin Diesel was inconsolable. So began the massacre of the Shaolin Temple and all 60 of the monks inside at the fists of the White Lotus. And so began the legend of Vin Diesel's five point palm exploding heart technique.
 
 
doglikesparky
08:36 / 18.02.06
That's it! I knew Gaiman was a cheat, he knicked all of that for his own story and just changed the names! Bastard.

I see Jack Bauer now has his own random fact generator too. I wonder who would win in a fight - Chuck or Jack? Either way, it would be a good one.
 
 
Spyder Todd 2008
15:22 / 18.02.06
Bah! Forget Bauer! I maintain my stance made in previous threads that the true battle of the century is Chuck Norris vs. Mickey Rourke. Who's placing bets?
 
 
Daemon est Deus Inversus
22:28 / 18.02.06
Chuck Norris was on Fox and Friends this AM discussing the involvement of Barbara Bush in his new kick-boxing camp for kids. Gee, and if I'd had more time, I could have caught a re-run of "Walker, Texas Ranger" only a couple of hours and a few channels away.
 
  

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