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Christopher Robin to be replaced by a Tomboy.

 
  

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Poke it with a stick
05:35 / 08.12.05
Oh, in the name of suffering fuck.

Market research indicates that the kids of today would rather it was a girl hanging round with strange talking animals in a wood, then? A.A. Milne would not be best pleased.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
05:36 / 08.12.05
This sounds terrible.
But your link only goes back to this thread- wanna try again, so I can join you in your despair?
 
 
Triplets
06:26 / 08.12.05
You're right, nothing should change ever, ever, evar because it's all perfect and liiight.
 
 
■
07:20 / 08.12.05
I don't care. Disney shafted Pooh years ago, what's one more indignity? Me, I'll stick with two books and EH Shepherd.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
07:33 / 08.12.05
I'm wondering if this really matters. I mean, it's all about the talking animals, right?
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
07:49 / 08.12.05
Yeah, but Christopher Robin was the real kid the stories were written for, wasn't he? Taking him out seems rude at best.
 
 
Triplets
08:11 / 08.12.05
I think we should wait to see if this series is any good, y'know, when it actually comes out.

As Haus says it's all about the animorphs. I thought Chris Rob was supposed to be a bit of a cipher. Whether he's a boy or a girl doesn't matter really innit? He's whichever kid's reading the story.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
08:19 / 08.12.05
I think this is great news! Shut up Gaiman.
 
 
This Sunday
09:02 / 08.12.05
Christopher Robin would look good as a girl. And with that typed, I think I'll just stop, now.
 
 
Ganesh
09:10 / 08.12.05
I think it might appeal more to the young people of today if some sort of 'gangsa rappin' were involved - or perhaps Christopher Robin could flash her 'booty'?
 
 
Saveloy
09:32 / 08.12.05
Stoatie:

"Yeah, but Christopher Robin was the real kid the stories were written for, wasn't he? Taking him out seems rude at best."

Wasn't the real C Robin really miserable about the books? I recall hearing that he resented the fact that his childhood had been made into a hugely popular, er, thingummy, and wished they'd never been published.
 
 
lord nuneaton savage
10:14 / 08.12.05
If that is true then he is an idiot, undeserving of them.

I have spoke.
 
 
■
10:24 / 08.12.05
If that is true then he is an idiot, undeserving of them.

Just as he was undeserving of having his life made a living hell at boarding school because of it?
 
 
Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!
10:55 / 08.12.05
Shut up Gaiman!

Oh, now that could just be a whole thread...
 
 
Seth
11:42 / 08.12.05
I think it might appeal more to the young people of today if some sort of 'gangsa rappin' were involved - or perhaps Christopher Robin could flash her 'booty'?

Heavens. I was just thinking that a Christopher Robin as a girl would be just about tolerable... but as a black girl?

Someone is destroying our fiction. Gaiman, why aren't you in charge of everything?
 
 
Mister Six, whom all the girls
11:49 / 08.12.05
Flipping about the channels in my despair one day I saw a Pooh film where each character overcame his/her problems. Piglet didn't feel awkward, Eeor lightened up... I can't remember if the rabbit came out of the closet but if he had it would have fit fine.

My point is that this is just one more pint of piss poured over good literature that touched many people at one point or another in a poignant way.

The X-Box game is awesome, however. I got my Pooh so ranked up his heat-seeking rockets are killer AND acid-tipped. Let the Heffalump try to fuck with me now!
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
12:12 / 08.12.05
Piglet didn't feel awkward, Eeor lightened up... I can't remember if the rabbit came out of the closet but if he had it would have fit fine.

Well, there we are, then. Christopher Robin is transgendered.
 
 
Chiropteran
12:36 / 08.12.05
Rather than add my own piss to the pot over the change, I'd just like to share this (presumably?) unintentionally lovely statement from Thomas Renese (of marketing consultants Interbrand): "Pooh appears to be a robust brand that can handle expansion."

Let's just not go expanding Pooh inside Rabbit's house this time, yes?
 
 
Aertho
12:43 / 08.12.05
Euphemism?
 
 
Chiropteran
12:44 / 08.12.05
Euphemism?

Eating disorder.
 
 
Aertho
12:47 / 08.12.05
I thought it might be a bit more tawdry.
 
 
Chiropteran
12:49 / 08.12.05
I should hope not...
 
 
This Sunday
12:50 / 08.12.05
It doesn't get too bad until Rabbit comes out the closet, followed by the donkey getting his tail stapled but good and pulling a sub/dom act with Tigger and Piglet with a whip. Followed by transgendered Robin who's been passing all these years through a cunning facade and a bit of racial dysphoria.
Let's stick with Pooh's eating habits.
 
 
grant
14:26 / 08.12.05
That damnable Heffalump movie comes close to that, you know.

It features Pooh and Piglet with lassos, throwing them around the neck of a terrified baby stuffed animal.

I'm not making that up.
 
 
Sax
14:34 / 08.12.05
Yeah, but then Roo makes them see that they're just behaving like that because Lumpy's different, and then they see that different isn't to be feared after all. I like it.

Besides, if you look at Christopher Robin in the EH Shepherd illustrations he has that Little Lord Fauntelroy haircut. He could be a girl. It wouldn't matter. In fact, it could add a whole new dimension to the final Pooh story, An Enchanted Place, in which Christopher Robin takes Pooh up to Galleon's Lap and tells him that he's growing up and has to go to school and won't be around much any more. Give that a raging hormones makeover and have Christine Robinson telling Pooh she's discovered boys and no longer needs to clutch his tubby-little-cuddly-all-stuffed-with-fluff body between her rhythmically-flexing thighs in the middle of the night, and you've got the makings of a great coming-of-age movie.
 
 
This Sunday
14:35 / 08.12.05
I knew there were reasons I haven't watched any of the recent Pooh films. I just figured it was a matter of time, but now I think maybe my brain scented (sciented?) out the badness and saved the rest of me the trauma. My childhood loyalties may be far more in the way of Oz and Mother West Wind, but really some of the stuff people've told me about the recent films and such... it's not marketing, so much as just missing the point.
Obviously, more lazily drifting down from one page to the next on a red balloon is necessary. And no Tigger rapping, please.
 
 
This Sunday
14:44 / 08.12.05
I would like to reiterate, however, that Christopher Robin would make a very nice girl, indeed. This is primarily based on my theory that absolutely everyone is immensely improved by sticking them in a good dress. Everyone. Robin's just a very lackadaisical woodgod, anyhow, so there's nothing particularly or intensely gendered about him in the first.
Makes a sort of comfortable sense, too, everytime something goes wrong the entire batch of male characters go and bug Robin, "Fix it! Fix it! Tell us, oh great one, what went wrong." And, of course, Christopher either fixes something very simple, or he simply shrugs his shoulders and things work out anyway. Can anyone honestly say the set-up works worse or less reasonably with a young girl instead of a boy?
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
15:10 / 08.12.05
I think there's potential in this.
You have the girl discover 100 acre wood, become friends with the animals, who reassure her that she's the first human they've ever met...
Then she starts to notice strange things. Hints and indications of her predecessor's previous existence. Evidence of a cover-up. Roo wants to speak to her alone but can't get free from Kanga. Pooh's on 'special' honey to keep the bad dreams away.
What happened to Christopher Robin?
It's Lost for the tweenie generation!
 
 
This Sunday
15:11 / 08.12.05
Or MST3K without the jumpsuits and bad movies.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:20 / 08.12.05
More to the point, should "Shut Up, Gaiman" be in Film, TV and Theatre, Comics, Books, Conversation or Policy?
 
 
This Sunday
15:26 / 08.12.05
Forum of its own? Comes up often enough. Can go right below the 'Morrison is/is-not a genius god of all things' and right before the 'forum for threadrot'. Seriously.
 
 
Seth
15:46 / 08.12.05
It's a definite Armoury Forum thread.
 
 
grant
16:02 / 08.12.05
We could send Pooh and Piglet after him.

With lassos.
 
 
Seth
16:13 / 08.12.05
And Tigger with the Whoop-de-Dooper Loop-de-Looper Allez-Ooper Bounce.
 
 
Elijah, Freelance Rabbi
20:11 / 09.12.05
I kind of like the idea, especially after I saw the new grim and gritty Tigger

 
  

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