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That sounds swell, Robert: faith... without all the hard work of actually having to, y'know, believe anything.
Man, I don't even want to know. Because if I knew—really knew—then I've got this awful fear that I'd get stupid. Fat and happy and complacent: Hey, my buddy Jesus loves me, and everything's just grand!
Might as well die right now, if I'm so all-right and tight with my good buddy Jesus, right?
Problem is, I don't plan to die for a good long while now—and so I need something to keep me occupied for forty-fifty years.
See, I don't want it to be easy. The mind is a muscle, and if you don't exercise it—straining always towards something that may or may not be there—it gets slack. The soul is a muscle, and the doubt and uncertainty that are the flipside of faith (as opposed to gnosis, i.e. "knowing") keep my soul taut.
I'm in this for the long haul, brother, and my best bet for staying on-task and on-mission is to not know. If I don't know if what I'm doing is worthwhile, I'm going to do something better; if I'm not sure there's a God, I'm going to seek Him even harder.
The process is what matters here.
(This is largely explained by the fact that I'm a salvation-by-deeds man: the idea of being graced and then waiting around for your ticket to get punched never really appealed to me.)
Ever hear of Pascal's Wager? It's a famous argument for the existence of God—or at least for behaving as if God exists. Your life is a gamble, the argument goes; a gamble on the existence of God and an afterlife. And you might as well believe in God, because if you're right, and He exists, then you win an eternity of bliss in Heaven—but if you're wrong, and He doesn't, well, then you haven't really lost anything; you'll be dead just the same, so you won't care (there's also the side benefit that living a moral and godly life can make your stay in this world far more pleasant, whether there's an afterlife or not).
Now me, I'm a betting man. I've got everything riding on God. But I have no interest in sneaking a peek at the hole card. I'm just going to play the hand that'd dealt me and let the chips fall where they may.
So, thanks but no thanks. God, save me from certainty! |
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