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Trapped In The Closet

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I'm Rick Jones, bitch

10:11 / 05.08.05

"Igniton" was pretty awful though - pitty-patter flow that sort of lulled you to sleep in the worst way, banal lyrics and production but with enough residual hook to make one want to take a cordless powerdrill to one's left temple to get the bugger out. And now it's in my head again thinking about it. Grr. The fact that it was played looped by boy racers doing circuts round my sixth-form hasn't improved my opinion of it any, but I found it bland in the first place.

I think part of the flustration with it might be that it hogs such a vital, pumping title then turns out as exciting as tepid milk.

Psych Safeling

10:15 / 05.08.05

You need to hear the Cockney and Western version. I'll post details of their next gig when I get my inside info.

Regrettable Juvenilia

10:30 / 05.08.05

I honestly can't imagine how anyone could improve on that song by covering it.

100 Reasons Why "Ignition - Remix" Is So Damned Great.

Bounce bounce bounce, bounce bounce bounce bounce.

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

10:35 / 05.08.05

I only need one reason to dislike Igntion.

It isn't very good. In fact, it's a bit boring.

Haus of Mystery

10:51 / 05.08.05

Bounce bounce bounce, bounce bounce bounce bounce.

Reason 1.

illmatic

10:59 / 05.08.05

EL: You are teh wrongest.

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

11:10 / 05.08.05

No, I'm right. The reason for this is that the song's dead boring. Like looking at some cardboard for a while.

Haus of Mystery

11:13 / 05.08.05

What if that cardboard had the secrets of the universe on it. Hmmm?

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

11:17 / 05.08.05

No. I can confirm this cardboard to be 100% free of the secrets of the universe.

It's the side of a Fanta packing crate.

Seth

11:34 / 05.08.05

Colourful, fizzy, fruity and throwaway.

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

11:35 / 05.08.05

Damp and sort of covered with mildew.

It's been in the rain a while, and hasn't dried out very well.

Seth

11:42 / 05.08.05

This is difficult for me to say having turned my back on Evangelical Christianity, but...

Electric Lucifer is lost and we must save hir.

I am the Good Shepherd. x

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

11:47 / 05.08.05

"Him". I'm not bloody Rebis, though I'd quite like the shades.

I don't like R Kelly. I don't like his influence on this new fangled new jack swing stuff they're calling "R&B" these days. I personally find his style a bit bland and uninspired.

Leave me be, to guard my dampened magic Fanta god.

Seth

11:52 / 05.08.05

The effect that your resistance to Ignition has had on me is that I've downloaded it again and am listening to it as I type.

Well, I'm actually listening to it at the same time as Explosions in the Sky... but then everyone listens to more than one record at once, right?

Right?

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

12:01 / 05.08.05

What you want to do, right, is listen to "Regulate" at the same time. Then mute R Kelly and beef up "Regulate".

Oh, and drink Fanta.

Seth

12:01 / 05.08.05

Jesus! I haven't heard Regulate in years. Another one for the DL.

Regrettable Juvenilia

12:13 / 05.08.05

Sex For Prophets Music. We call it "Sex For Prophets Music". SFP.

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

12:18 / 05.08.05

See, that's why you like R Kelly. You're just not expecting stuff as good as Regulate anymore.

Seth

12:27 / 05.08.05

You're just not expecting stuff as good as Regulate anymore.

You're right. I hear at least three new songs as good as Regulate almost every day, so expectation is a fairly irrelevant term.

Kinda like expectation passed into knowledge. But Regulate is a fine old friend.

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

12:31 / 05.08.05

I'm sure there's an'Ignition' thread somewhere else in this forum, buried amidst a whole jumble of 'Joycore vs Borecore' merriment.

So EL is Borecore, now we know.

What about "Trapped in the Closet", then?

Seth

12:56 / 05.08.05

It's pretty fucking awesome, isn't it?

When does it get its cinema release?

Regrettable Juvenilia

13:00 / 05.08.05

He says "Somethin' I bet you didn't know, my man
"Did she tell you that I was a pastor?"
I said "Well good, that's better, right?
"Why can't we handle this Christian-like?"

Seth

17:25 / 05.08.05

Electric Lucifer: Oh, I give up. You're clearly all better and more joycore than me.

Don't give up now EL! There's still so much we can teach you.

The Falcon

15:28 / 06.08.05

I don't like 'Ignition' either.

The Falcon

16:22 / 06.08.05

I will, however, concede point 28. "28. The good grammar: "Food everywhere / as if the party was catered""

Mainly, though, I dislike R.'s head.

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

11:07 / 07.08.05

Arse-head?

Regrettable Juvenilia

15:31 / 07.08.05

"Shit, think. Shit, think. Shit, quick, put me in the closet."

PatrickMM

18:45 / 30.08.05

Did anyone see R. Kelly do a one man performance of Trapped in the Closet at the MTV Awards? I didn't, but it sounds totally insane. Is there a clip online?

Jackie Susann

06:15 / 05.09.05

Has anyone else heard the Trey Songz 'husband' version? I have only found the first chapter for download, but its (obviously) the story told from the husband's perspective. Some of it plays cleverly with the original lyrics - i.e., he does the Shit, think, shit, think line but is trying to figure out something else entirely. I don't know if he's going to keep it up, cause he identified himself in the first person as Trey Songz, and presumably isn't going to wanna follow through on the Rufus-Chuck parts (although good to know he uses aliases too! They make a lovely couple I reckon.)

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

07:55 / 05.09.05

Don't give up now EL! There's still so much we can teach you.

I don't need no obnoxious slang or false dicotomies, man - there's music I like, music I dislike and oh man Missy's sampling Cybertron how shit-hot is that

Jackie Susann

21:17 / 06.09.05

The title of this thread reminds me of what A A Milne said about Wind in the Willows - that you couldn't criticise it, because it criticised you, and if you tried to judge it, you were only judging yourself and coming up short. In that spirit, can we turn this into a Hundred Reasons 'Trapped in the Closet' is so damned great thread? Or is it a bit late for that? (Sorry, I only just saw the video.) Counting Petey's last post as no 1, I have to go with

2. R. Kelly's facial expressions during the leg-cramp scene - did he learn his acting technique from Vince McMahon or what?

autopilot disengaged

22:05 / 06.09.05

3. the skill with which he lyricises his girlf's digressions at the beginning of her 'explanation':

"she says 'ok', wipes her nose, and then asks me about a girl named tina / i thought to myself, it sounds familiar / i'd probably know her if i seen her... / then i said, anyway, what has this got to do with this man / she said you know my girl roxanne / i said 'who the hell is roxanne?'"

awesomeness.

autopilot disengaged

22:08 / 06.09.05

4. the use of cigarette smoke as indicator of the interloper in his place - leading right back to the cop, where the ostentatios cigarette-smoking seemed like a non sequitur at the time...

Regrettable Juvenilia

23:43 / 06.09.05

5. That moment - I can't quite remember which chapter it's in, but I have a feeling it's in part 4, when he's driving along and everything that's happened if flashing before his eyes - that moment where we get a random shot of R in the position of the husband (who is also an R), having a gun pointed at him by someone who's just stepped out of the closet. Which refers back to the "staring at me like he's staring in a mirror" line. What does it mean? That their roles could easily be reversed? To what extent?

Regrettable Juvenilia

23:46 / 06.09.05

6. There's a part 6! And it's all about Rufus, Chuck and the wife. It mostly consists of people shouting at each other, so R Kelly shouting at himself, then.

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