Never say never to lateshift

21:32 / 16.03.05

Oi Oi Benny!

I'm having enough trouble getting onto the internet, never mind blogger.
To speak of boring script stuff, I've been seriously toying with splashing out on Final Draft 7. I think it's the way to go.

21:39 / 16.03.05

evening all.

So. Why is Steven Segal so fucking fat? Why doesn’t he diet or get liposuction or at least have that double chin stapled up? I'm looking at him, and I'm thinking how these days he’d only really be a halfway convincing action star on the radio.

...because, actually, I’d totally listen to that. Steven Segal's Play For Today.

21:44 / 16.03.05

Hello BedHead.

His movie career's flagging. I think he's trying to oust Sammo Hung.

21:47 / 16.03.05

Also, when was he ever a fully-convincing action star?

21:55 / 16.03.05

Evening late-shitters. I'm full of booze and fudge. Please convince me to go to bed.

22:01 / 16.03.05

Final Draft 7 is a joy to use.

I met Steven Segal (I say met, I turned round and he was there with a body guard) the man is huge - not just fat huge, but a giant. I'm tall but he was massive. He was also wearing that stupid jacket from the bad film with Michael Caine in it.

Fudge... mmmmm.

I've eaten nothing all day but green and blacks sweet sweet chocolate.

22:01 / 16.03.05

Do you have any fudge for the rest of us?

22:07 / 16.03.05

Don’t go to bed. Fall asleep at your desk, instead. It’s a gas. Waking up at 4 and trying to figure out where you are and whether you’ve drooled on anything you shouldn't have.

22:07 / 16.03.05

Yes, I do. I have a large stockpiles of it scattered for safe-keeping in branches of M&S across the country. Help yourself, and if anyone questions you, give them the special wink and say that Smoothly said it was okay.

22:10 / 16.03.05

Well by all means, stay awake and make merry!

22:13 / 16.03.05

I use an old m&s Wine Gum jar as a money box. Whenever I open it to put money in, I can smell the sweet, gelatinous odour of deliciousness.

22:15 / 16.03.05

And then you smell the sweets.

22:23 / 16.03.05

Hmm. A money box. I need something like that. I have about half a tonne of grubby coppers in a bag and I don't know what to do with them. Once I'd tested the claims made by the promotors of Cillit Bang, my imagination was exhausted. Any susggestions?

22:27 / 16.03.05

Shove h'penny seems to be making a comeback.

Or put them on ebay, I hear that thing is like a virtual market or something!?

22:33 / 16.03.05

Take them to a bank?
Give them to the homeless?
Stack them in a pyramid?
Buy fudge?

I'm not the best person to ask. I have about four mugs on my shelf full of coppers, I'm going to have to move onto the fifth soon enough.

22:33 / 16.03.05

You need to find one of those charity boxes that’s like a spirly spiral: the kind where you drop the copper in and it rolls round and round and round and round and round and in. Take a friend with you and then spend an afternoon taking it in turns to be the sinister KGB dude and the, er, brainwashee.

This game might be more fun in summer, I think. Perhaps save the coppers until then? It'll be worth it, I'm sure.

22:40 / 16.03.05

Ooooo, those things are great!

Yeah, go with that plan.

Race them like little, round, remunerative space ships at first, but then KGB all the way.

22:52 / 16.03.05

You joke, but that is seriously tempting. I love those things. I only ever see them in airports, however, and - much as I love airports - I'm not sure it's worth the journey. I might haul them round town and give all the various local charity boxes a thorough road-testing though. I get the impression that less thought goes into the design of these things these days. I swear that when i was a nipper there were all sorts of arcadey temptations to donate your pocket money to dubious causes.

23:08 / 16.03.05

Is it really the charity boxes or is it us, though? Have we lost the ability to appreciate the joy of a tuppenny piece zig-zagging its way down a plastic-y Jungle Book slide?

Hell, no. I'm not really joking that much. I feel sure they have these things in Post Offices. And just for me, I beg you to send a few of them down in a FIGHTING FANTASY-style. Like this:

...perhaps even with a reading from the classic work of Steve Jackson as they disappear.

23:20 / 16.03.05

Ahh, Fighting Fantasy. There were a wealth of solid life lessons there for the metaphorically minded. To this day, if I have to make a decision, I still like to keep a finger in the page should the potion bring death rather than freedom.

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

23:56 / 16.03.05

Alors! Sometimes I just say hello, and I don't even have anything worthwhile to say, so I feel a bit bad about it.

I just wanna be in the gang! I just wanna be 'avin a larf!

Ok, I've got £20 for the weekend (it starts tomorrow by my watch) - what should I do with it?

lekvar

00:08 / 17.03.05

Invest your money wisely in mutual funds. Relax and watch your financial security grow with the passing of time. Glow in the knowledge that your future is one of financial solvency as retirement age comes upon you.

Or you can booze it up.

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

00:15 / 17.03.05

Indeed that was on the agenda! The booze.

It's difficult. I need to make creative use of such limited funds, and yet both be frivolous and carefree whilst simultaneously squeezing use out of every single penny. And, obviously, getting drunk.

I was thinking absinthe (with a friend). Aaaaand, I want to see the Incredibles. Aaaaand, I want popcorn.

Alex's Grandma

00:23 / 17.03.05

Spend half of it on acid, S, and then sit down seriously, and make some plans.

It worked for Bruce Robinson, so why not yerself ?

fluid_state

01:09 / 17.03.05

For the colonial: Just how much booze can you get for 20 pounds?

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

01:11 / 17.03.05

I could get at least six quality bottles of wine.

fluid_state

01:18 / 17.03.05

That's, like, fifteen bottles of Night Train!

lekvar

01:33 / 17.03.05

And how much is absinth going for these days?