No Frills Lateshift

22:39 / 21.02.05

I truly am an evil uncle having convinced all my nephews of the secret existence of eleventy numbers at one time which although their parents think that their tiny minds could not comprehend them at this time I feel that they are intelligent enough to comprehend without their heads exploding.
And also of convincing one of them to pick Johhny Depp as his confirmation name.... and generally telling them that most people are sheep and fueling any countercultural spark they might have.... And yet they seriously love me.... k

22:41 / 21.02.05

Again I say ... wuh hah hahaaa!

Spatula, my local cinema regularly screens films in the wrong ratio - usually the Monday Classic, which might be anything from Sweet Smell Of Success to I Capture The Castle. I've seen Liza Minnelli with her head cut off. Not as pretty a sight as you may think.

22:45 / 21.02.05

I'm gonna live again
I'm gonna live again
I'm gonna live again
But it feels like a cryin' shame

My beer has ice in it. My fridge may need some form of recalibration.

22:46 / 21.02.05

Argh. You stupid, stupid bastards. Why the hell have you just switched it back? Argh, I say.

Shitters! And now back to the correct size again!

Wait. Am I missing something here? I've never seen it before, so I don't know if this is supposed to be happening. BBB? If it's one of those 70's "ooh, look what we can do!" effects, I'll carry on watching. Otherwise I'm going to find it impossible to get into for waiting for Television Centre to stick it upside-down, or start running it backwards, or something.

22:47 / 21.02.05

Aww that reminds me, when I was a student my housemate once defrosted the freezer. She took everything out and then put it back in a few hours later, or whatever you're expected to do during the defrosting process.

I just thought it was amusing, her being like 20 at the time. Explains why she never came to the pub at least.

But anyway ... BEER LOLLIES!

22:49 / 21.02.05

I've seen Liza Minnelli with her head cut off. Not as pretty a sight as you may think.

Last time I saw this happen, it was Five showing the entire first half of an episode of Angel in 4:3 stretchovision, when it should have been widescreen. Oddly, it made David Boreanaz' cavemanbrow look vaguely human.

22:54 / 21.02.05

The last day I worked at THAT BIG COMIC SHOP IN LONDON WHOSE NAME I SHOULDN'T MENTION BECAUSE I NICKED TONS OF STUFF FROM THERE, Boreanaz was doing a signing. It was like Assault on Precinct 13 but with schoolgirls. Apparently he was a very nice man. He did have an incredibly large head, though. It's not just telly. He has a really, really big head. (physically, not in an egotistical sense).

He signed my leaving card, though. My flatmate, who luuuurves him, was gutted. HAH!!!

22:57 / 21.02.05

She took everything out and then put it back in a few hours later, or whatever you're expected to do during the defrosting process.

Am I missing something? This seems eminently sensible to me.

23:06 / 21.02.05

What you're missing, Stoatie, is that she was a student. The words 'eminently sensible' really shouldn't be in her vocabulary.

Still though, saved us lazy lager-swillers the job so I remain forever in her debt. Well, for two years anyway. She seemed to like being Mum ...

23:11 / 21.02.05

Fair enough.
BTW, Mr Brigade, if you're up for drums, I think Riff Shitter now has a guitarist. All we need now is corpsepaint, a logo, a blasphemous album title (preferably in Latin) and for me to write some shitty songs about Satan. And stuff. \m/

23:16 / 21.02.05

I ran into someone who I hated as a child today, he is now in a band called Vaginal Warfare. He talked to me for an hour on the bus I was slightly traumatised by it all.

23:18 / 21.02.05

I sometimes fantasise about what would happen if I bumped into any of the small number of people who I've hated in my life. Would I spit at them? Punch them in their stupid face? No. I'd probably sit there and be friendly even though they really don't deserve it. My sympathies, LittleGod.

Still, you have to respect a band name like Vaginal Warfare.

23:22 / 21.02.05

My attitude towards people I hate is that I wish them no ill; I hope they have happy, productive, and fulfilling lives. I just hope they have them somewhere a long, long way away from me. (There ARE exceptions, but I try to keep those to a minimum, having neither a patio nor a cellar.)

23:25 / 21.02.05

Yeah I guess you have to..
Wasn't all trauma though I got to make downward comparisons and felt good good good about what turns out to be my not so shitty life.

23:26 / 21.02.05

I tend to just ignore them - keep on walking, like the Bad Samaritan I am. Petty, but better than pretending to be enjoying a reunion or getting angry about ancient history.

23:30 / 21.02.05

Though the more people I meet the more I hate... sigh... I'm an irritable person and the ratio just isn't in my favour..
And though I laugh he does seem reasonably happy. He unfortunately is incurable and insisted on listing out all the people we knew in common that I haven't seen in yonks and comparing them/their looks to Metallica and Pantera guitarists. He also told me that they have found irrefutable evidence that Courtney killed Kurt...

23:31 / 21.02.05

Remember
Walking in the sand
Remember
Walking hand in hand

Sorry. I'm drunker now. The Shangri-Las have taken over my stereo. And I can't sing along drunkenly, so I have to pretend to. In, like, typey-writingy-stuff.

In addition to what I said before, I really, really don't like hating people; it feels wrong. And I'm not very good at it. But sometimes you can't help it. Yeah, walk on by is the best for everyone.

23:38 / 21.02.05

Right, I'm going to bed early tonight, as I've just realised that I've spent the last half an hour trying to pick up some Italian by watching an Open University program called Make Spanish Your Business.

G'night everyone.

23:41 / 21.02.05

Buenas noches....

23:43 / 21.02.05

Goodbye, goodbye, wipe a tear etc. Spatula. Good luck with the buggered aspect ratio.

23:46 / 21.02.05

I'm going to flake too and read a book or write a letter or something....
g-night

23:55 / 21.02.05

Yeah, goodnight... I've just nuked some of what Marks & Spencer call "ULTIMATE MASH"... sounds like something Badger would love. And I'm gonna eat it while falling asleep- I have to do hospital/ear stuff tomorrow morning, so many more hours of booze would be bad, bad and oh, er, bad.

Night all... and 'night, Mr Thompson.

21:00 / 22.02.05

'She's cold as ice ...'

Hello everyone! Sorry for the musical interlude, it was inspired by my colleague who was just talking about Hall & Oates being good, and I managed to temporarily confuse them with Foreigner.

It's just a soft-rock apocalypse round our way.

21:26 / 22.02.05

Hello. I've now got my hearing back, but ewveryone in this fucking office seems to be all about Hall & Oates today, and I'm starting to miss being deaf.

21:51 / 22.02.05

Your hearing has returned? Yay! In that case I shall start whistling the theme from Battlestar Galactica.

alas

23:06 / 22.02.05

hurrah for stoatie's ear!

I'm making leek and potato soup....mmmmm

23:17 / 22.02.05

Leek & potato... the classic soup combo. Mmm indeed.

It's cool... I've had this new Julian Cope album for two weeks, and have been listening to it constantly, and this is the first time I've actually heard it properly, in stereo and stuff.

23:30 / 22.02.05

Sorry, who's Julian Cope again?

Heh heh heh ... told you I was evil.

ONLY NICE THINGS

23:49 / 22.02.05

Is ULTIMATE MASH like a reboot of mash, but without all that continuity of the potato crop being placed in the ground, grown, harvested, sold, cooked and mashed up?

23:59 / 22.02.05

Kind of, yes. Fortunately, it's not quite as gritty as, say, Identity Crisis Mash, which would probably knacker your teeth. And be poo.

Saint Keggers

00:06 / 23.02.05

Greetings and Salutations!