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Barbelith snapshot: What has it got in its pocketses?

  
  

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Sekhmet
13:32 / 04.01.05
Er. Except I forgot I also have a racing-green cell phone in the outside pocket of the bag. With a yellow smiley face sticker on it.

This is a brand new bag as of Christmas, and I'm not carrying half the stuff I usually have. I'm frightened.
 
 
Triplets
13:49 / 04.01.05
Sekhmet, are you, in fact, a magpie?
 
 
Elegant Mess
13:54 / 04.01.05
Pockets:
- Flyer for a local club.
- £3.68 in assorted small change.
- Battered Nokia mobile phone.
- Set of keys, at least three of which haven't been turned in a lock for years, with bottle-opener keyring branded with the logo of a long-defunct dotcom and a red Klixkey that allows me free drinks from any Klix hot-beverage vending machine.

Bag:
- Gloves.
- iPod.
- Glasses case (containing no glasses).
- Assortment of ancient receipts and Cadbury's Heroes wrappers.
- Half-empty box of Boots Paracetamol Extra ("easy on the stomach", digestion fans).
- Bottle of olive-variety Bach Original Flower Remedies.
- Copy of Haruki Murakami's Dance Dance Dance.
- Jar of Charles Worthington "Results" hair wax (the 'result' is usually greasy, unmanageable hair).
- Very old Rawkus-branded wallet containing £60, a UGC Unlimited card, debit card, three credit cards, dog-eared Nick Cave ticket from last UK tour.
 
 
Ariadne
14:44 / 04.01.05
No pockets. Well, only those weird false ones they put on women's trousers.
In my bag .... scuttles through to fetch it, peers in nervously...

two tangerines and a lot of tangerine peel in a plastic bag
a pack of paper hankies
some AA batteries
a Palm handheld thingie
a little brush
a digital camera
a layer of receipts and other bits of paper into which I'm afraid to delve
tampons
lip balm
Rescue Remedy
a bike pump
a bike light
yellow trouser clip
pens, various
two mobile phones - my current work one, and the new one I've got to replace it come Friday

And my purse. Which contains:
one debit card
one visa card
two driving licences (UK and NZ)
Work pass
a Boots card
a Habitat card
oh god, you really don't want to read all this shit - just various business cards for various eating and drinking places and the like. A taxi chit. £42. A lucky pound note. Oh, and the phone number of some girl, with a note that she wants to become a business writer. I must have been pissed, as i've no idea who she was.

Yuck! I just took a mouthful of tea, to discover it had gone cold while I wrote that dull list. I'll have to have one of the tangerines to take the taste away.
 
 
Sekhmet
15:57 / 04.01.05
Sekhmet, are you, in fact, a magpie?

Maybe.


Oooh! Shiny!

(*snatch*)

(*flap flap flap*)


(I must confess that I just looked over my list again and began laughing uncontrollably. I apologize to the Barb at large for foisting that on you all.)
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
16:23 / 04.01.05
I now picture all Barbeloids wearing enormous trousers.
 
 
Sean the frumious Bandersnatch
16:31 / 04.01.05
Lint.

Is it just me, or is this the lamest thread ever?
 
 
Ariadne
16:38 / 04.01.05
It's just you, lint man.
 
 
diz
17:45 / 04.01.05
one set of keyrings, containing:

- key to my girlfriend's car (i borrowed it today)
- key to apartment complex
- key to apartment
- squeezable LED light
- remote beeping locator thing
- Burning Man logo keychain
- girlfriend's "family motto" keychain
- scannable Ralph's Club barcode thing
- 6 unidentified keys

one black wallet, containing:

- a whole lot of receipts, several important/quasi-important phone numbers, other scraps of paper
- keycard for work
- driver's license
- ATM card
- AAA card
- local video store card
- health insurance card
- PADI scuba-diving license card
- Disneyland Annual Pass (which expired yesterday *sob*)
 
 
Hieronymus
18:11 / 04.01.05
This is like being shaken down by the TSA.

Wallet
-no money
-driver's license from my former state of residence (not the one i'm living in) soon to expire in July
-my work ID card with bus pass sticker on it
-my student ID card
-my debit card
-A Blockbuster card (which I haven't used in three years)
-a Hollywood Video card (see above)
-my health insurance card
-stacks and stacks of phone numbers written on old movie ticket stubs, sticky notes and scrap pieces of paper
-an old phone card that's run out of minutes and needs to be recharged
-my Soc. security card
-My Cherokee Nation membership card and Certificate of degree of Indian blood
-a book of twenty postage stamps (down to three)
-my lucky four leaf clover, laminated on the back of an old high school hall pass card
-a discount card for the grocery store I normally shop at
-various business cards

The other things I have in my pockets are my pocket knife, my set of keys and my flash drive.

Oh yeah. And the balloon of heroin I'm muleing in my stomach.
 
 
Chiropteran
18:58 / 04.01.05
Left pocket:

Purple Pen
Black Sharpie
elastic hair-tie
twig of Harry Lauter's Walking Stick
green money mojo
a dime
little metal pent that used to be on a belt buckle
business-card holder (full of cards for The Harrow)
--also stuffed in card-holder:
---$1
---bank card
---driver's license
---car extended warranty/roadside assistance card
---one postage stamp
---telephone number for student loan agency
---list of magically-useful-but-endangered plants that I must not wildcraft
---insurance card
---ticket stub for The Grudge, and receipt for same
---ticket stub for Alice Cooper
---Big Y Savings Club card (not mine)
---business card from car dealer
---ticket stub for Sky Captain
---list of Coca-Cola-owned brand names, for boycott purposes
---Big Y Savings Club temporary replacement card (also not mine, what gives??)
---several friends' addresses/phone numbers, etc.
---an $80 check I need to deposit after work
---an $120 check I've been asked not to deposit until the end of the week

Right Pocket:

purple cigarette lighter
car key
ring of other assorted keys
silver dollar
$2.81 in other assorted change
knife

Is it just me, or is this the "Who's Really Bored at Work" thread??

~L
 
 
Chiropteran
19:15 / 04.01.05
Sekhmet's list reminded me of a recent incident where, after a foiled purse-snatching attempt, my wife dumped the contents of her purse out on the bed in the hotel room to catalog (exhaustively) exactly "what [the would-be thief] would've gotten" for his trouble.

There was no money, not even small change. Nor were there any credit cards or ATM cards. There was, however, a wide assortment of candy, an empty ibuprofen bottle, a cat toy, empty tape cases, broken sunglasses, and much (much!) more along those lines. This is the 20lb purse she lugs everywhere.

I think she laughed for half an hour, easily.

~L
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
19:31 / 04.01.05
DM, you fool, you shouldn't carry your social security card around! Ever try to replace one of those things?
 
 
astrojax69
19:44 / 04.01.05
yes, this is the bored at work thread - and i have just lobbed in second day back at 8am..

but in my shiny new waterproof panniers for my trundly i have just removed my soft computer / brief case with:

a blue shirt - to change into after sweaty summer bicycling (hee hee, it's good to be in australia now!)
two notebooks of writing and scribbles
a copy of pynchon's 'mason & dixon'
a ruler
six different [coloured] pens
a file of stuff for novel
a photo
mobile phone charger
3 packs of instant drinking chocolate
photocopy of ch 2 of susan blackmore's book on consciousness
my little black book

and my 'man bag' (purse? what IS the best term for a man's little handbag that isn't a wallet??? this holds:

a clump of my work business cards
a clump of my photo business business cards
three current plastic money cards (only one in use, but)
one expired visa card (dunno why that's there - must toss it one time...)
5 dollars
a receipt to collect a triple cd i've ordered
2 work cabcharges
a small notebook for scribbles
a pencil
a lighter
a marker pen
a tube of cold sore cream
7 unissued invites for last year's xmas bash at my place
five other people's business cards
driver's licence
picture of significant other : )
blood donor card
razor blade
2 band aids
medicare card
library card
writer's centre member card
co-op book shop member card
work security card
vigneron societe member card
still current but not used now for 14 months 10-ride canberra action bus ticket
expired pizza deal voucher
a bad smell
a black biro &
a mostly used folder of 40c xmas card stamps issued by australia post in 2000


my pockets contain only:
a handkercheif
a 1 dollar coin
a 2 dollar coin
bunch of 7 keys - home work parent's place and bike lock


phew - time to tidy!! at least i shan't be encumbered by wanting to spend all my money!!
 
 
Olulabelle
20:42 / 04.01.05
Curiously I feel slightly voyeuristic for reading this thread with such absorbtion. Why is it so fascinating?

Sekhmet, your bag must be very big.

My pockets are in fact a red patent leather square bag which I've had for years and is ace, and which contains (in order of removal):

A piece of paper detailing how to make different coloured flames.
1 blue racing car.
1 red racing car.
1 pair of Harry Potter dressing up glasses.
1 Power Ranger's head.
1 booklet of Waterstones vouchers.
1 purse with assorted credit cards, many receipts but no money.
1/2 a pack of cherry drops.
1 Benefit make-up compact which is lovely and was a Christmas present.
My notebook.
1 fally-aparty mobile phone which I broke by throwing it down the stairs in a fit of pique but which I can't upgrade till February. Arse.
1 small bag of various assorted crystals which include; magnatite, malachite, flourite, aragonite, quartz, smoky quartz, green and black tourmaline, onyx, labradorite, ruby, peridot and some others I cannot remember off hand.
A birthday card from my step-mum.
My pay-slip for december.
My cheque book.
A piece of a magazine with various letters circled in red on it, spelling out a beautiful message. (Which was given to me)
1 pack of Nirolex cough lozenges.
42p in various coin forms (Yay! I do have some money!)
1 red lighter which doesn't work.
1 diamante hair grip.
1 green lighter which (attempts to light it) does work. Bargain!
A Sam Roberts band sticker.
A piece of paper with someone's phone number on - I've no idea who's.
Directions for the way to Amarillo and the answer to life, the Universe and everything.*

*This is a blatant lie.
 
 
Triplets
20:52 / 04.01.05
and my 'man bag' (purse? what IS the best term for a man's little handbag that isn't a wallet???

A man either has a small wallet or a big bag. If you're an important man you may be allowed one (1) briefcase (although I'm sure it's not that, unless you belong to a Sylvanian family set). There are no inbetweens. I suspect you've either dreamed this item or been fooled by Loki, god of mischief and enemy of Thor. Tread carefully, mortal.
 
 
Triplets
20:55 / 04.01.05
I now picture all Barbeloids wearing enormous trousers.

Enourmous womens trousers, with fake enourmous pockets. Filled with tiny clones. And Power Ranger heads.
 
 
Olulabelle
21:04 / 04.01.05
'Man bags' hang in between your legs and are very hairy. They're also no use for storing large, irregular shaped items.

Everybody knows that.
 
 
Hieronymus
21:39 / 04.01.05
Qalyn, I think I carry it around because the signature is very funny to me (I must've signed it when I was 11 or something).

That and my wallet is permanently attached to my pelvic bone. Chains and bone pins, the whole ball of works.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
22:20 / 04.01.05
Right:
Payslip from 9/12/04 for a weepingly pitiful amount of money
scrunched up paper tissue
complimentary ticket to Science Museum IMAX nicked from last place of work cos I wanted to see Santa vs Snowman 3D. I'd better hurry ...

Left:
Black lacy knickers given to me by a friend. One of my favourite pairs.
2 white/shiny hair bands
1 pink/shiny hair band

I am in my dressing gown. More later.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
22:51 / 04.01.05
Currently, in trousis: A safety pin, some string (1/2 inch), button off pocket, some kind of skanky gritty stuff.

In BLJ: Bank book, house keys, locker key, toolbox key, mobile phone, money for gas man in morning, sweetie wrappers, 10-journey ticket (Zona Uno), Hello Kitty biro I found on Las Ramblas on NYE, white vanilla lip balm.

In overalls: mechanical pencil w/logo of Big Skool, dried cement, latex gloves, gum, little plastic wedge doobries for sticking in between tiles so they dry sraight, 5 and 10-centime pieces for coffee machine.

In rucksack pockets: pink vanilla lip balm w/pearlescent stuff, flyer for tarot course, two notebooks, itty doodle pad with eye on front, pens.

In all: snotrags.
 
 
Sekhmet
13:46 / 05.01.05
I have a Barbecrush on oulabelle now...
 
 
Chiropteran
14:05 / 05.01.05
You too, huh?

~L
 
 
farseer /pokes out an i
14:51 / 05.01.05
This is like being shaken down by the TSA.

Nah, then we'd be listing "contents of body cavities", not pockets... LOL

Speaking of.. apparently the TSA has never heard of 'happy brownies'. Just FYI.

Front right jean pocket:
- keychain. Leather fob, MC key, Jesse luggage key, ex-girlfriend's apartment key, my own house keys (front and back door.)
- lint.

Front left jean pocket:
Sony-Ericsson T637 cellphone

Back right: long black leather wallet, with chain.
- receipts to add into quicken
- 2 sushi frequent diner discount cards
- ATM card
- 3 credit cards
- petsmart discount card (which I've now thrown away, this thread is already useful for more then laughs...)
- Pluckers club card (If you don't like our club, we'll give you the bird)
- Driver's license, with scary, unshaven serial-killer picture of me.
- yellow card with the 4th Amendment from the US Bill of Rights written on it. On the back is a "Notice to law enforcement officers, I do no consent to a search of my person, house, papers, effects, or motor vehicle. I retain all my 4th Amendment rights and all rights under the United States and State Constitutions" From the "Ministry of Truth".
- freshly laminated ACLU membership card
- dentist appointment reminder card
- masonic membership card
- wheatsville co-op membership card
- a business card from my credit union with some numbers on it. Gosh, I bet those are important somehow...
- BMW Motorcycles roadside assistance plan membership card
- LoneStar BMW New Bike Info card (VIN, service info, tyre pressure)
- old RPGA membership card (toss!)
- North Austin Animal Hospital business card
- United Healthcare corporate HMO card
- Sierra Club membership card (I'm a member of the Sierra club? when did that happen)
- old University of Texas- Austin student ID. Much better pic then DL.
- LoneStar BMW business card, with my MC insurance company's phone # on the back
- Cingular wireless biz card, no idea why. *toss!
- Credit union buisness card, this one with my account # on it.
- Walgreens business card with this cute chick named Michelle's digits on it
- Seidokan Aikido membership card
- REI co-op member card
- $7
- Motorcycle insurance policy card
-> In zippered section of wallet:
- some change. Maybe $1.25 worth or so.
- spare motorcycle key
- torx-5 right-angle key
- spare key for my lockable Jesse Luggage (for motorcycle)
- spare luggage key (airplane, travel-type luggage)

So, my wallet seems primarily arrayed as a place to contain membership slips and other door-opening slips of paper. Weird.
 
 
farseer /pokes out an i
14:56 / 05.01.05
This is like being shaken down by the TSA.

Nah, then we'd be listing "contents of body cavities", not pockets... LOL

Speaking of.. apparently the TSA has never heard of 'happy brownies'. Just FYI.

Front right jean pocket:
- keychain. Leather fob, MC key, Jesse luggage key, ex-girlfriend's apartment key, my own house keys (front and back door.)
- lint.

Front left jean pocket:
Sony-Ericsson T637 cellphone

Back right: long black leather wallet, with chain.
- receipts to add into quicken
- 2 sushi frequent diner discount cards
- ATM card
- 3 credit cards
- petsmart discount card (which I've now thrown away, this thread is already useful for more then laughs...)
- Pluckers club card (If you don't like our club, we'll give you the bird)
- Driver's license, with scary, unshaven serial-killer picture of me.
- yellow card with the 4th Amendment from the US Bill of Rights written on it. On the back is a "Notice to law enforcement officers, I do no consent to a search of my person, house, papers, effects, or motor vehicle. I retain all my 4th Amendment rights and all rights under the United States and State Constitutions" From the "Ministry of Truth".
- freshly laminated ACLU membership card
- dentist appointment reminder card
- masonic membership card
- wheatsville co-op membership card
- a business card from my credit union with some numbers on it. Gosh, I bet those are important somehow...
- BMW Motorcycles roadside assistance plan membership card
- LoneStar BMW New Bike Info card (VIN, service info, tyre pressure)
- old RPGA membership card (toss!)
- North Austin Animal Hospital business card
- United Healthcare corporate HMO card
- Sierra Club membership card (I'm a member of the Sierra club? when did that happen)
- old University of Texas- Austin student ID. Much better pic then DL.
- LoneStar BMW business card, with my MC insurance company's phone # on the back
- Cingular wireless biz card, no idea why. *toss!
- Credit union buisness card, this one with my account # on it.
- Walgreens business card with this cute chick named Michelle's digits on it
- Seidokan Aikido membership card
- REI co-op member card
- $7
- Motorcycle insurance policy card
-> In zippered section of wallet:
- some change. Maybe $1.25 worth or so.
- spare motorcycle key
- torx-5 right-angle key
- spare key for my lockable Jesse Luggage (for motorcycle)
- spare luggage key (airplane, travel-type luggage)

So, my wallet seems primarily arrayed as a place to contain membership slips and other door-opening slips of paper. Weird.
 
 
HCE
16:13 / 05.01.05
You enter your receipts into Quicken? I was impressed with myself when I learned to keep them in a paper bag with phone numbers, candy wrappers, post-it notes, polaroids, and the occasional popup card.
 
 
alas
16:17 / 05.01.05
I have no pockets and I'm afraid to look in my handbag. I grew up using the word "purse" but that word is kind of gross, isn't it?
 
 
Sekhmet
16:28 / 05.01.05
In fearing the handbag you fear yourself.

Look into the Handbag of Truth. Discover its secrets.
 
 
mondo a-go-go
16:43 / 05.01.05
Most of the contents of my pockets are on the table in front of me:

1 red Sony Ericsson T610
(I've never seen anyone else with a red one. The guy at the shop told me people complained when they got one that wasn't silver. That's stupid, the red ones are much nicer-looking)

1 Ball Pentel fine point r50 pen
(which I don't tend to use, but it was the first one I found at home that worked)

1 small tin of Carmex lip balm with the $1.29 price still on it
(they sell it for £2.50 in the UK!!!!)

2 keys for my front door and flat door

a red and white canvas coin purse containing:
two ten pound notes, three pennies and an Icelandic 10 kronur piece
(I swear those kronur pieces must mate in my purse. Every time I think I've emptied them out, another one pops up)

a teeny plastic card holder containing:
a loyalty card for KCS Web Cafe 61 Charing Cross Road
a membership card for the Prince Charles Cinema
my friend's business card
some first class stamps
a Caffe Nero loyalty card (which I can claim my free coffee with if I ever remember to)
various old and out of date travelcards

a pair of velvet gloves that are dyed in that cool technoish way that makes them look like they're different colours depending on the angle of the light (in this case, pale green and a kind of lilac. Apparently it's called "petrol")

Wow. If my life was represented by my pockets it would be really dull.

No, wait. It is, isn't it?
 
 
Grey Area
17:27 / 05.01.05
Well, this as good an opportunity for the annual satchel clear-out as any, so here we go:

- Moleskine day planner
- Two parker rollerball pens
- Maglite
- Philips-head screwdriver
- Swiss army knife
- One half used up strip of Panadol
- One full strip of Diclofenac
- Three codeine tablets
- Pack of tissues
- Four AA batteries
- Three scraps of paper with telephone numbers
- Mini iPod
- Office 2000 CD-Roms
- One copy of 'The English Patient'
- Lip balm
- £3.67 in loose change
- Student ID card
- Photocopier card
- Letter from the library asking for a book to be returned
- One purple button bearing the legend 'Sorry Ma, no grandkids'
- Paperclip
- Moleskine notebook
- Half-empty roll of Polo mints
- Pack of chewing gum
- Wallet, containing one fiver, various bank cards, staff ID and ticket stub from Queen's Film Theatre
- Cinema listing for the first week of November
- Fairly crumpled exam invigilation schedule for this month's exams
- Nokia 3110 mobile phone
- One of those metal thingies that holds a pin to your jacket/bag...you know, the kind that you push onto the pin once you've poked it through the material.
- Tin of sweetener tablets
- Pack of Gudang Garam clove cigarettes
- Zippo
- Bracelet charm shaped like a bullet, found on Botanic Avenue last January
- Beer-mat covered in scribbles

How on earth I fit all of that crap in there I have no idea.
 
 
Sekhmet
17:59 / 05.01.05
And now I also have a Barbecrush on Grey Area. Anyone who walks around with Moleskines and a Maglite and a screwdriver is to be admired and emulated at all costs.

May I take your skin and wear it as a suit?
 
 
Grey Area
18:06 / 05.01.05
If I didn't need it for the trivial task of keeping my insides together, I would hand you my skin in an instant. =)
 
 
salix lucida
18:12 / 05.01.05
Trousers: wallet (two credit cards, bank cards, license, pope card, $2 bill, 10 franc note, coffee shop frequent buyer card, 300min phone card, health insurance card, long-expired campus ID, assorted ticket stubs, $1 in actual usable money), Burt's Bees chapstick, eyeliner, keys (maglite, carabeener)

Army jacket: cell phone, assortment of tissues and napkins.

purse/small backpack: allergy medication (script and non), inhaler, December pay stub, Christmas Amazon gift certificate, camera, several phone cards, lotion, ibuprofin, small book on St. Francis of Assisi, condoms, tampons, sunglasses, *box* of tissues, clear nail varnish, change of pants (clean).
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
18:16 / 05.01.05
Front right pocket:
Mobile phone (bulk rate Nokia variant)
Government ID card (Department for Transport)

Front left pocket:
6 Nero Napkins

Rear left pocket:
Change totalling £3.56

Rear Right pocket:
Wallet containing:
Drivers license (clean)
HSBC cash card
£15 in £5 notes
5 Nero loyalty cards (4 full)
LCC membership card
3 Southwark Cyclists cards
Insurance details (for my stolen bicycle)
Arvensis business card (for a fellow government contractor)
Schedule for feeding friends cat (expired)

Key pocket:
Set of five keys (3 house, 1 friends house, 1 for bike cable lock)

Coat breast pocket (a):
Government ID card (ODPM, for garage access)
Government ID card (Home Office, previous contract)
Set of propelling pencil leads

Coat breast pocket (b):
Keys to ex-girlfriend's flat (so that I can fix her bike while she is in Zimbabwe)
Sunglasses

Inside coat pocket:
Oyster card (no valid credit)

Saddle bag:
Pre-glued patches
Tire levers
Spare innertube
Cycle gloves
Pen (black promo variant)
two sheets of A6 paper
Toolset
Key (bike D-lock)
 
 
The Strobe
19:19 / 05.01.05
Oh, go on then.

Front left pocket
Mobile phone.

Front right pocket
Travelcard.
Keys.
Wallet, which contains cards, change, money, all manner of receipts and cinema stubs and loyalty cards, and some stamps. Oh, and a Smiths voucher. Not giving too many details away.

Jacket pocket
Fountain pen, iPod.

Bag
Umbrella, Moleskine, memory stick, stupid neck-dangle-thing I got at an expo and kept, alumnus magazine, letter from NHS (unopened), round-robin letter, Powerbook.

That's it, really. Pretty dull. There's usually a novel in the bag, but I've just finished The Man in the High Castle.
 
  

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