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The importance of Tea and Crumpets

 
  

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Ender
13:46 / 16.12.04
Some of the best conversations I have ever had have been over tea and crumpets. I some how feel sophisticated sipping tea, and eating something with such a fancy crumpity name.
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
13:51 / 16.12.04
Oh my, I'm having flashbacks. Have no public school gentlemen on this board every had to play... The Crumpet Game?
 
 
alas
14:21 / 16.12.04
"Pop Tarts", however, should only be fed to Basselopes.

I'm not sure basselopes would eat Britney...
 
 
 
 
■
14:51 / 16.12.04
Oh my, I'm having flashbacks. Have no public school gentlemen on this board every had to play... The Crumpet Game?
Not that I went to public school, or partook in the game I think you mean, but I think most people would recognise it by the name Biscuit Race... (come to think of it, perhaps that's why ex-public schoolboys often have such good skin and glossy hair, with all that zinc in their diet...) unless you're referring to the one involving toast racks.
 
 
Ariadne
15:13 / 16.12.04
King of Town - if you PM me your address, I'll post you a packet of crumpets as a Christmas present. Or maybe a New Year present. Some kind of present, anyway - a Crumpet present.

I just bought some and they have a sell-by date of four days - I reckon if I pick some up when they've just arrived in the shop (Saturday morning, maybe?) and post them really fast, they might, just might, get to you in time.

Now I'm off to eat one myself. Yum!
 
 
Axolotl
15:49 / 16.12.04
I myself am partial to a spot of afternoon tea, though I prefer the muffin to the crumpet.
I have to say that it is a sad thing that offices have eliminated the tea break, it served as a welcome respite from the travails of the world of commerce.
 
 
iamus
18:16 / 16.12.04
Not that I went to public school, or partook in the game I think you mean, but I think most people would recognise it by the name Biscuit Race

Or Soggy Biscuit as I heard of it. Not a game I ever saw the attraction of. Neither did I get the fact that the last boy to "finish", as it were, had to eat the biscuit. Surely he should be rewarded for his stallion-like powers of endurance? But hey, that's public schoolboys for you.

Sorry. Crumpets....
 
 
■
18:35 / 16.12.04
[Thinks we ought to be carfeul not to be too general about public shcoolboys as an ethnic group or we might get hauled up before the master and get six of the best. chiz.]

I think slightly stale crumpets are OK. They crisp up much better in the toaster. We should all join in the annual crumpet exchange.
 
 
Loomis
18:37 / 16.12.04
Crumpets! Due to this thread Ariadne tracked down some crumpets and we had them as an after-work snack. Sadly I was a pig and ate three and found my stomach glued together for my troubles. Was worth it though.

Am starting to get a hankering for muffins now though. Perhaps on the weekend. AFter all, how much damage can it actually do to stick your insides together with white flour paste? I could cut myself open afterwards and have a perfect papier mache sculpture of my digestive system.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
18:54 / 16.12.04
In September my cousin tried muffins 4 the very first time
Now he's doing crumpets, it's June
Ti-imes...
 
 
lekvar
19:30 / 16.12.04
Mmmmm, Croissants.

*ducks and runs*
 
 
Benny the Ball
19:33 / 16.12.04
Many years ago (well four or so) I was on a job that, at elevensies, saw cheeses crumpets brought round. Three different varieties if I remember correct, chedder, red leicester and a blue cheese one. Was great for the first week or so, but after that it felt like gout was setting in and I gave them the swerve.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
19:56 / 16.12.04
Best thing azbout crumpets is, you buy them in packets of eight. No messing about with "I'll just have the one...". For the hardcore crumpethead.

And tea smells of wee.
 
 
Papess
19:59 / 16.12.04
And tea smells of wee.

Then you shouldn't pee in it, Xoc.
 
 
doglikesparky
19:59 / 16.12.04
Tea and Crumpets with marmite on and a bit of a sit down.

Not so good if you don't like Marmite I should imagine but I do. Yum.
 
 
Elegant Mess
20:10 / 16.12.04
I don't like Marmite, tea or crumpets.

By pointing up this shameful shortcoming, this thread is making me feel like some kind of freak. A barbarian.

What is the alternative to those who, like myself, are burdened with inferior tastes? Irn-Bru and a Mars bar? A bottle of white spirit and a dead rat cooked over a Clipper lighter?

I do like a sit down, though. I guess that's got to count for something...

Right?
 
 
iamus
20:47 / 16.12.04
Irn-Bru and a Mars bar? A bottle of white spirit and a dead rat cooked over a Clipper lighter?

I don't remember ever inviting you over for dinner.

I do like a sit down, though. I guess that's got to count for something...

Ahhh. Never mind. In my house we eat and drink while hanging upside down from the hot water pipes, suspended by harnesses made of three year old strips of streaky bacon held together with chewing gum. Juicy Fruit chewing gum mind you. None of that uppity Spearmint crap.
 
 
Loomis
08:14 / 17.12.04
I think we can all agree on the importance of a good sit-down. I believe that short power sits are one of the habits of highly effective people.
 
 
sleazenation
09:21 / 17.12.04
Xoc - if tea smells like wee to you remind me not to drink tea at your house...
 
 
_Boboss
09:38 / 17.12.04
decaffeinated tea smells like fishbones. very, very wrong stuff.
 
 
Olulabelle
10:34 / 17.12.04
Xoc, I think perhaps your problem may be with Earl Grey tea, which, (whilst it does not smell of wee to me and actually of Bergamot as it is supposed to) I can see how someone might find slightly smelly.

*Ponders.* Where does one get proper Earl Grey tea and crumpets (dripping with butter) from on a wet and windy day such as this? When one is at work?

I have just licked my fingers in anticipation...I long for melted butter on my keyboard.

Footnote: KCC, you are so very right. Muffin is indeed an extremely silly word.
 
 
Olulabelle
13:30 / 17.12.04
I have tea. Look!



Bugger no crumpets.

Ooh. Sorry. That should read, "Bugger, no crumpets."

"Bugger no crumpets" is a rule which everyone should probably live by. Since the holes are relatively small.

*Sigh.*

I only wanted to lament the crumpet lackage (that's lackage, not leakage) in my life and instead I've digressed to far more worrisome topics and got stuck in my words.

I apologise unreservedly.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
13:56 / 17.12.04
I find your comments discriminatory of those who would find a release in intimate contact with bready goods. Please consider your words with more care next time lest you offend the crustumiphilliacs in our midst.
 
 
Sax
14:04 / 17.12.04
Milk loaf being the product of choice.
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
14:29 / 17.12.04
hypo cube Not that I went to public school, or partook in the game I think you mean, but I think most people would recognise it by the name Biscuit Race...

Same idea, just took a bit... longer.
 
 
grant
15:02 / 17.12.04
I think alas has the taxonomy down quite well.

It's worth pointing out, however, that in America, you can get things called scones -- but almost always they're denser than a proper scone and have bits of dried fruit in them. Almost a combination between (American) biscuit and (American) muffin, with a bit of those (British) sticky buns with the raisins on (I remember a slang term for them involving flies but it has gone away) mixed in.

In America, if you look for a sticky bun, you'll most likely wind up with a cinnamon roll, which is syrupy and can be absolutely indulgent, but like doughnuts, really meant for consumption with coffee.

I think it's probably also worth commenting on crumpets' relationship to various griddle cakes (pancakes, pikelets, etc.). I've had some "pancakes" at a place in Gainesville (served with fresh yogurt) that were really crumpet-like. It may have been something to do with reheating them in a toaster oven, I don't know.
 
 
grant
15:10 / 17.12.04
Behold the Crumpet Machine and the Pancake Machine.
 
 
Axolotl
15:23 / 17.12.04
If we're talking griddle cakes then we have to mention scotch pancakes, otherwise known as drop-scones. I have no idea what the americans here would recognise them as. The best kind of scotch pancakes are the ones with raisins in.
 
 
grant
15:41 / 17.12.04
I bet those are drop-biscuits here, which are probably the sconiest of biscuits. Lumpy-looking, but actually a bit light, sort of crusty?
 
 
Axolotl
15:46 / 17.12.04
no, more like thicker, smaller pancakes made using batter.
 
 
sleazenation
15:50 / 17.12.04
grant - i was interested to note you appear to have used the term doughnut to refer to an american foodstuff that is apparently manufactured to be taken with coffee. I thought in the states such a consumable would be termed a 'donut'? where do you stand on the great doughnut debate?
 
 
grant
16:17 / 17.12.04
Heh -- I had a taxonomist hat on, which meant I was mentally using things about 50-80 years old as "standard." I think the more common "donut" spelling only came about around then, but might be way off.

If we veer off into donut territory, that's a whole thread's worth of unrelated discussion... I mean deep fried breadstuff is pretty widespread, and techniques cross-pollinate like crazy.
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
17:22 / 17.12.04
I mean deep fried breadstuff is pretty widespread, and techniques cross-pollinated like crazy.

This is very true.

*lipsmack*
 
 
King of Town
18:05 / 17.12.04
Mmmmm. Donuts..... I like my donuts with milk. Come to think of it, I like milk with all things sweet. An association from childhood I guess.
 
 
alas
22:32 / 17.12.04
I find the English habit of using LEMON JUICE with things like pancakes and crumpets to be completely mystifying. Maple syrup, people!

And I must say I've never had a pikelet to my knoledge. I have, however, eaten my fair share of Wiltshire lardies.

(I'm just so turned on by the name--Wiltshire lardy. Yum! Anything dripping with lard is good by me.)
 
  

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