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It's another dating advice thread

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18:02 / 02.12.04

Following the 3 day rule at the very least. Might even be all cool and leave it until Saturday.....have to see how I feel tomorrow.

Ahem, um, I thought your father would be the one to talk to you about this, Sparky, but... it's not the Three Day Rule, it's, well, when two people love each other very much, then on their third date together, they, well... go ask your father.

Whale... Whale... Fish!

12:08 / 03.12.04

The trainers were (and still are) a well kept pair of brown suede Etnies. Lo-Cut II style, I believe. I rather like them and they're very comfortable, I'll add.

Ooooh... nice choice. I would wish you the best of luck but with a trainer choice such as that, she's already yours

Speaking of 3-date-rule thing. I have not met anyone who has even discussed this but then again I live in Dundee and by the third date the CSA are already involved.

12:21 / 03.12.04

"I'm not sure there's ever been much of a dating culture in the UK."

I live in the UK and I do the dating stuff. So do most of my single friends.

13:04 / 03.12.04

come to think of it, a single flatmate did indeed throw her hat into the dating ring for a while. most of my couplings have been either of the 'look-of-lust' or nudging-friends varieties, but dating is something i've seen folk do. using this friend as the most telling example i know, her attempts at dating resulted in a few uncomfortable nights in the pubs with either, i seem to remember, adulterers or morons. this period lasted for about a year before (what strikes me as being) the normal way of meeting significant others occurred to her: a mutual friend introduced her to a strapping chap thought compatible, and they were married eighteen months later.

so: hit me with your dating stats, or, rather, dating anecdotes: examples of firstdate/seconddate/thirddate/score! scenarios that have gone on to stand the test of time.

14:43 / 03.12.04

I am a dating retard. But that's okay, because I usually end up shagging someone I've been friends with for ages.

As for the stubble thing, not all facial hair is like kissing coarse sandpaper. Some beards are very nice and fluffysoft.

15:05 / 03.12.04

yep, but that's beard, not stubble. stubble is when it's short and itchy.

15:11 / 03.12.04

Could be bum-fluff.

17:19 / 03.12.04

so: hit me with your dating stats, or, rather, dating anecdotes: examples of firstdate/seconddate/thirddate/score! scenarios that have gone on to stand the test of time.

Okay, you've asked twice, so I'll volunteer. During my carefree, single, barhopping days, I went to my local bar alone all the time (not having any friends in the city yet). One night a friendly guy with a great smile and a short mohawk told me he lived in my building and we chatted for a couple of minutes tops. Later that night he offered to walk me home and I accepted. He invited me in for one last beer, and we drank beer and talked and I stayed over. That first night we engaged in some old-fashioned fully-clothed making out. Though we liked each other quite a bit, neither of us expected it to go anywhere, given the circumstances - yet we had the option of bumping into one another again since we lived three apartments away.

The following weekend we were at our local bar again - there was just something really appealing and (ironically) wholesome about his smile & the look in his eyes - irresistable. Once again I went back to his place and stayed over. This time he asked for my phone number, and I gave it to him. From there, he asked me out on "real" dates (dinners, movies, ice cream). For the record, we didn't actually get it on until a month after we first met.

Totally not the way you're "supposed to" meet someone when you're looking for a relationship, but here we are almost 1.5 years later and very happy. Then again, neither of us was looking for a relationship at the time, just enjoying the single life, and bam, found someone we really really liked.

07:20 / 07.12.04

So ... Sparky. What's the latest? I need a fix of my favourite soap opera.

08:43 / 07.12.04

'could be bum-fluff'

that's true, it could, i'm just giving Anna the benefit of the doubt by assuming that she hasn't snogged/been eaten out by any eleven year-olds lately.

14:59 / 07.12.04

Pen Becover only began to bum fluff at age 20. There are many like him.

15:10 / 07.12.04

So ... Sparky. What's the latest? I need a fix of my favourite soap opera.

Well there's not a massive amount to say. Spoke to her on Sunday and had a very nice chat. The sort you'd have with a nice cup of tea (as opposed to any other kind of cup of tea before anyone asks)and maybe a biscuit.
We have arranged to meet again this thursday so I'm very pleased about that.

I have my clothing choices all sorted and know what the plan is but still agonising over the shaving thing. Reckon I'll shave this time though so she knows that it does happen occasionally.

Apart from that, I'm very calm.

16:36 / 07.12.04

Excellent. Sounds like you've got it goin' on Mr Sparky. I look forward to Friday's revelations ...

11:17 / 11.12.04

Well, it all went very well mostly. A excellent evening was had - fine conversation, no awkward silences, plenty of laughter. We seemed to engage each other really nicely and certainly are on the same wavelength.
I got good signals, eye contact, excellent body language, in fact the whole thing was all looking remarkably promising.

Afterwards, I drove her home and we got outside her house and I politely said what a nice evening I'd had and she reciprocated the sentiment and said we must catch up soon. Then, before any chance to act and before any chance for there to be even a moments hesitation, she was up and out of the car, waving goodbye and walking to her front door.
Naturally, my internal dialogue at this point was comparable to something George Costanza might have concerned himself with and a hundred potential reasons for why she had left so abruptly flung themselves through mind. Ranging from the completely paranoid (that's it, she hates me) to the egotistical (well, plainly she likes me too much and was scared) via the mildly ridiculous (perhaps she was just in a rush 'cos she needed to get to the toilet).
Anyway, I spent most of the journey home worrying about it and then realised that it could in fact mean one of a hundred different things but more likely, doesn't mean anything.
So I'm not gonna worry my pretty little head about it. We've since communicated via text message and have both indicated that we wanna catch up soon, so I think things are pretty cool.

For the moment.

Whale... Whale... Fish!

15:33 / 11.12.04

I wouldn't worry too much about her quick exit. My latest romantic involvement does the same thing and everything is going fine there.

So you think you'll meet up again? What shoes are you gonna dazzle her with next time? Did the shoes on this date help matters?

07:27 / 13.12.04

Good stuff Sparky. Keep up the good work. And you're absolutely right that you can't read anything into what happened. Don't drive yourself nuts analysing it. I hope things continue to go well the next time. Keep us posted ...

08:18 / 13.12.04

2 dates and no sex. All this long-term courting is a little beyond my experience.

09:06 / 13.12.04

Who says kids today have no morals?

09:10 / 13.12.04

I'm worried about their morale. I'm not sure I could've kept up the enthusiasm as a young lad.

Regrettable Juvenilia

11:16 / 13.12.04

dinners, movies, ice cream...

Keep dating REAL!

11:40 / 13.12.04

And talk.

Lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots of talk.

15:22 / 13.12.04

Even I've got a date this week and I don't usually do dates. I haven't even snogged this guy yet. Weird. But the reason I didn't invite him back to my place when I met him at a gig last Saturday was simply because it was that time of the month... Now I have to sacrifice an entire evening just so I can have sex. I hope he doesn't want to go to a restaurant or the cinema. Just a quick pint at a pub and then back to my place for a shag - that would be ideal.

I'm not very romantic.

15:32 / 13.12.04

Surely the quick pint in the pub covers the romance side of things?

15:33 / 13.12.04

What's wrong with going to a restaurant and getting a shag after. Doesn't sound like a bad evening to me. In fact, I'd say that's a pretty good evening, all in all.

Unless you're so desperate for a shag you just can't wait, that is.

Regrettable Juvenilia

16:32 / 13.12.04

Well your tummy might start to feel a bit dodgy if you have a lot of rumpy pumpy immediately after eating an entire Stuffed Crust Pepperoni Feast washed down with lots of free Pepsi refills.

Whereas there's no danger of that happening if you've just downed five pints of lager.

I think Barbelith is a very luckee place to have this thread where people like me give such good advice!

17:02 / 13.12.04

'Strue, but you've neglected the fact that 5 pints is liable to cause brewer's droop.

17:30 / 13.12.04

"Rumpy pumpy"? "Brewer's Droop"?

Sometimes, but very rarely, I'm really glad not to be British. Those have to be two of the most abominable phrases I've heard in months.

I'm off to Mordant's "Gleeeusheeshush" thread now...

(*totters off, shuddering*)

19:07 / 13.12.04

This whole thread is making me go "gleeuuuushh" really. No offence, sparky, but it reminds me of all why I hate "dating", and all the "shall I call her?" "what does this mean?" "oh no what shoes shall I wear?" bollocks that goes along with it.

Get pissed with someone, snog, go back to someone's house, have a shag, see how conversation goes in the morning, work it out from there. That'll do me. All this formalised "date" stuff is like Come Dancing vs capering around like a tasered gibbon to daft techno, and I'm a lot better at the latter.

19:26 / 13.12.04

I think you've just lost your protestant work ethic. Remember what they taught us at Sunday School: You'll appreciate the shag a lot more if you've worked for it.

19:50 / 13.12.04

At my Sunday School, they just taught us "never have rumpo with your socks on".

20:01 / 13.12.04

Hey I'm all for getting pissed and just shagging, I really am but the nature of this situation and the formalised way we met in the first place kind of negates that possibility.

In the past all my girlfriends are such that I kind of just fell into a relationship with them, usually after just that which is why I'm so out of my depth with this whole 'dating' thing.

I know some people will look at that and just say "Fuck it, shouldn't make any difference" but it does to me, maybe it's just how I am but that's the situation and I've gotta deal with it.

Besides, she's a very nice girl and I'm sure she's not that easy...

20:07 / 13.12.04

Personally I find that girls who enjoy getting pissed, snogging and having sex with people they want to see later are amongst the nicest I know. I'm told that many women actually enjoy this, strange as that may sound....

Regrettable Juvenilia

09:08 / 14.12.04

Surely not! Surely only bad girls 'put out', as they say, within the first six months? Bad girls from the big city who like to drink and maybe even get high by taking some druggy pills. "Your skin is so... soft" - CLUNK. Not nice girls like Joey Potter.

10:59 / 14.12.04

I can be a nice girl. Sometimes I even talk to guys before having sex with them.

But for some reason seeing a picture of Dawson always has this sexually aggressive For-God’s-sake-just-do-it-effect on me (probably not what the writers of the show intended)...

Tryphena Absent

11:52 / 14.12.04

Surely only bad girls 'put out', as they say, within the first six months?

It's true, there are just a lot of bad girls in the world.

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