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Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

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15:24 / 05.11.04

MacGuyver is on the right track...Banish with laughter.

Comedy has always helped me in times of intense heartache. I never understood why people ate ice cream and watched sad movies. I don't need prompts to have a good cry at these times.

What Sax said makes sense to me. It is true that there is very little anyone can say to alleviate the pain. It has to be worked through. There is no real cure, just treatments.

I don't think there is any reason to think badly of the other partner,though. Unfortunately, this is a bad state of mind I think most people, including myself, slip into after a break up. It is rather negative, and I know it detracts from one's own healing...and energetically...well, it can't be good for them either.

In your case Cameron, it seems to me that she wasn't exceedingly insensitive, she just wasn't ready. If I am mistaken, and she was cruel about this, then staying positive would be much harder to do and would definately add to your burden.

In which case, get a punching bag.

15:40 / 05.11.04

I dunno, Sax. Whilst you're not going to ease the pain with words of wisdom, you can help to steer people away from fucking themselves up even more.

Sometimes, and only if you're lucky.

15:41 / 05.11.04

Lillith's right, though. Laughter's always good.

16:29 / 05.11.04

Hmm, let me see here...

Box of chocolates
Humour - maybe in the form of a movie
Perhaps some flowers or treat to spruce up your mood
A bottle of wine, even...

It is almost like dating yourself!

Throw in some Bach Rescue Remedy, and I think we'll have post-relationship recovery down to a science.

ONLY NICE THINGS

16:59 / 05.11.04

Remeber, kids - the reason Bach Rescue Remedy makes you feel better is the herbs and flower extracts are suspended in a base of grape whisky. If you find that you are drinking 6 bottles of rescue remedy a day, and feeling so much happier, know why. It nearly did for me completely.

18:13 / 05.11.04

Bobossboy - I wasn't implying other people's words of wisdom were useless. Just that I didn't have any good ones of my own to offer.

And while Bach Rescue Remedy might be dangerous, no lives were ever ruined by Watney's. As far as I know.

19:23 / 05.11.04

"...the herbs and flower extracts are suspended in a base of grape whisky"

Well that explains quite a bit. Just pass the Macallan over, then.

19:57 / 05.11.04

ot: Cameron Stewart's a famous comic artist?

20:01 / 05.11.04

I think I'm on Lillith's team with this one: change of venue + one-night stand (preferably with old friend) can work wonders.

I can't promise the second, but I can the first, if you want to come south for a visit -- I just moved into a bigger place with a guest room. Kind of a garage apartment, sans plumbing. It's probably much warmer here than there.

Paris could work. My Imp of the Perverse says you should try to get a third ticket, so you can bring a date.

Heheheh.

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

20:41 / 05.11.04

And if the worst comes to the worst you can always hang around with my sister and her boyfriend if you need consoling! They can show you where the best crepes are, and this is important.

Whale... Whale... Fish!

21:04 / 05.11.04

sorry to hear about you're situation cameron.

I can't really add much except I got a fucking text message tonight along the lines of "I like you but maybe we should just be friends". Everything was going well. I saw her last night and she did seem a bit off. All i can say is fuck. Why didn't she say last night? Why in a fucking text message?!

She is not really the sort of girl that would go for me usually. She is clever, funny and looks the fucking bomb. I should've fucking known that it would go tits up.

None of my mates are answering their phones. Sttab is away visiting his brother and I'm alone with only a fridge with beer and an immature plant for company. Not exactly a great combination. Fuck.

21:33 / 05.11.04

Text message? That's classy.

Whale... Whale... Fish!

22:14 / 05.11.04

tell me about it.

13:16 / 07.11.04

Text message. Wow.

11:25 / 08.11.04

Hey, what a hilarious coincidence: I got dumped this weekend.

It would have been nine years this December.

I love her more than I can possibly describe to you.

I'm utterly confident she feels the same way (about me.)

Deep down (very deep), I suspect she made the right decision for both of us. It's a decision I don't think I would have ever had the courage to make.

Fuck.

Fuck x 10^23.

12:39 / 08.11.04

Unless you draw a comic about talking fish I don't think you're going to get the same kind of support.

15:49 / 08.11.04

Alright, (sigh), I'll get drawing.

16:01 / 08.11.04

Um, that's kind of harsh, isn't it? I don't think I should get any special treatment, and in fact my situation seems rather inconsequential in the face of a 9-year relationship breaking down. Sorry to hear, Real. Hope you're doing okay.

16:52 / 08.11.04

Thanks. It sucks, but it's alright. I can see where she's coming from and it makes sense. What's helping me alot is that I do care for her so much. I know that this is going to be a difficult time for her too, and I have to do whatever I can to help, just as she is doing for me. Obviously it's different from your situation in that we already have a history of mutual support, but I really do feel that the way of love is always the right way to approach these things. This, among other things, means respecting the other persons decisions even when you think they're the wrong ones (talking about your case here.) Wish her the best and move on. Usually people that prematurely run away aren't yet emotionaly equipped to make a real relationship work, imo.

22:44 / 08.11.04

Sorry to hear about your break-ups Cameron and Real. My housemate has just broken up with his girlfriend - he's also my oldest and closest friend, but is very numb about the whole thing and as such neither of us has really talked about it. Not that anything I say will make much difference, but I think getting stuff out is a good start.

00:43 / 09.11.04

WHAT. FISH. COMIC.

00:52 / 09.11.04

THIS. FISH. COMIC.

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

01:52 / 09.11.04

This seems to be the season for breakups....I have had three of my dearest friends either leave a long-term relationships or been told their relationship was over. They have asked me what to do (since I seem to be an expert when it comes to having that look of shock on the face, not knowing it was coming) and I only have the same sort of advice:

-Immerse yourself in a project of some kind you have been putting to the side, or trying something new.
-LOTS of physical stuff, exercise, sports, whatever. Don't just sit around and become a slug. The exercise will help the depression
-Break the ties. Even if the other person wants to be friends, take a break and decide if you want to deal with it. The distance helps and keeps you from doing the infamous 4 AM phone call
-Lean on your mates - they are waiting for you to call on them to go to the pub, or whatever you used to do with them.
-Watch Marx Brothers movies. Over and over until you laugh yourself silly. Duck Soup has gotten me though a LOT of lost loves.

And finally, take care of yourself. That's the hardest part for me. I usually want to get in my bed and not come out again for a long time, but that only makes things worse.

13:21 / 10.11.04

Wait a second, I feel the blanket of oppresion being lifted. It seems that life still has hope. Maybe I won't die a lonely old man surrounded by cats. Maybe I ...

Oops. Never mind. Here comes the blanket again.

If you can't laugh at your own pain A) What good is it? and B) It wouldn't really be fair to laugh at the pains of others.

15:00 / 10.11.04

thank.you.cameron.

Whale... Whale... Fish!

21:09 / 10.11.04

bah. It's definetly over now. I even got the whole it's not you it's me thing. Shite.

01:38 / 11.11.04

...as a teenager I once got: "It's not you...well okay, sort of, it is." I don't know if that's worse or not.

02:02 / 11.11.04

In that case Baz, it most likely was them.

Whale... Whale... Fish!

02:29 / 11.11.04

that must've sucked.

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