Random thoughts that I've been meaning to turn into posts or threads for ages but just cannot get together:
Special ink (cannot lie)
Monks discovered that when you wrote with angels blood in your quill, you could not write a lie - the words reformed themselves to state the truth. The first wrist watches consisted of a loop of paper with a series of statements written on it, in angels blood: "It is NOT between 12 o'clock and 12:15", "It is NOT between 12:15 and 12:30" etc. Each individual statement would remain true for the majority of the time, but when the appropriate time came each statement would amend itself to read "It IS between 12:15 and 12:30". Of course, only one positive statement would exist at a time, so you just had to feed the paper wrist band through your fingers till you found it to know the time.
Film = flypaper for ghosts
All that stuff about cameras and actors is rubbish. Unexposed 35mm film is simply left hanging in the darkroom. Come morning, it will be covered in ghosts. Their attempts to escape leave trails through the film (one per frame, hence the multiple images).
Animals with bacteria branes
Most tragic creature in existence. Their brains consist of colonies of bacteria. Bacteria communicate chemically [this is true - ed.]; these ones are super fast, and that communication = the animal's nervous system. The heat of the sun causes them to multiply, ie as the day progresses the animals' brains grow bigger. By 11am they have tools, by 2pm they are developing fantastic cities, transport networks, hospitals etc (um, small animals, very quick with their hands). Come teatime they have something approaching a perfect society. However, the bacteria die off in the cold, and by 12am they've pissed it all up the wall, destroyed the whole thing in a primitive, dur-braned rampage. They wake the next morning with no memory of the previous day or night and start again.
(note: I thought I might be onto something vaguely original with htis bacteria brain thing, but no, that wanker Clifford D Simak wrote a short story suggesting similar, back in the nineteen-fucking-fifties. Fuck!) |
