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I might as well bring my bait dialogue up to date, so's I can post it here as and when it develops.
This is Mrs XXXX's response:
Dear XXXXX,
I thank you for your mail and the information contained and has equally prayed over the successful completion of the transaction without any hinderance.
I have explained how my husband made the funds in the previous mail and when He was on the begining of making contacts for someone whom he can trust the funds into for the assistance of the poor and the needy through an orhpanage before he died.I decided to continue this approach as it is our plans and we will never relent even in his death I must see that his aims are acheived.
However,I will like to know your availability to travel to Madrid,Spain to claim he funds from the firm where my late husband lodged the funds as my health conditions can not allow me to travel out of the country at this time.This is very necessary becuase you will have to see everything with your eyes and be sure that I really meant what I said.I will give you the authorisation required so as to enable you make the claims.
God bless as I wait to hear from you.
XXXX
Right, I need to stall for a bit of time here - a quick response to allow me time to formulate a reason why I can't travel to Madrid immediately...
Dear XXXX,
Thank you for your quick response.
Before I commit myself to travelling abroad, and I hope you don’t think me disenfremantulating here, but I have a few questions to ask.
Could you tell me exactly how much the funds amount to, and in which way you would prefer them spent? Please don’t think me impertinent, but as a God fearing Christian and a leading member of my local community, I have to be absolutely sure that I’m dealing with someone who would help perpetuate my Church’s ideals. My Church’s charitable funds already amount to several hundred thousand Pounds Sterling and, as manager of those funds I feel the moral need to be absolutely sure that they are disseminated in as Holy a fashion as possible.
Your prompt response would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
God bless you, sister.
XXXXX.
And my pet's reply:
Dear sister XXXXX,
I thank you for your mail and will like you to know that the amount involved is us$9.900 000.00(nine million nine hundred thousand united states dollars).This funds will be invested in your church in a project where the poor children that do not know there parents and old people without children will have shelter and food.
I will be waiting to know when you will be ready for the trip.
God bless.
XXXXX
My scammer is obviously quite anxious for me to commit to a date, so I follow up with...
Dearest sister XXXX,
Your project sounds extremely worthy of my attention and is definitely something I would like to help you actualise. Whilst the Orkney Islands (my home) are quite remote and have a small population, our charitable work spans the world – recently we donated £35,000 to a homeless person in Accrington, in Greece, to allow him to buy a car so he could drive his long-lost mother to the bingo, and a lead for his dog, who had previously only had a length of string. This is just one example of the many charitable projects we are currently undertaking.
I am very much looking forward to going to Madrid (I have never ventured outside my beloved, wind-swept Twatt before), but there is only one flight per week from Orkney and, as we are currently not yet a part of the European Union, I will need to obtain a visa to travel to Madrid. Unfortunately the administrators at the Orkney Embassy are currently on strike, as the management there have decided to revoke their parking passes. There is an ongoing dispute between the Embassy staff and its management regarding this issue, so I cannot obtain my visa until this matter is cleared, which looks like being in the next few days (God willing), judging by the press reports.
I hope this email finds you in good spirits – you have my greatest respect and admiration for continuing your husband’s mission after his tragic death. It must provide a great relief for you, knowing that his wishes are still being fulfilled whilst he is in the arms of Our Lord.
In the meantime, if there’s anything I can do to help the project along, please feel free to let me know.
May God smile frumptiously upon you and provide you with relief from your debilitating spinal mutations, sister Nneka – we at the Church Of The Blessed Womb (Orkney Branch) are in the process of organising a prayer vigil in your and your late husband’s honour.
You are forever in my thoughts and prayers.
Praise be,
XXXXX.
This is how it currently stands - I am awaiting a response to this ridiculous email, which should fall flat on its face before it leaves the stalls, but your standard scammer seems to be even more gullible than the victims they predate. Vive la diffrence (sp?) !! |
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