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Both of which could be very interesting weddings...Obviously at Alan Grant's wedding every speech, vow, etc would have to be at most twelve words long and begin with phrases like STOMM! or DROKK!, i.e.
'Drokk! Alan, will you marry her?'
'Stomm, your grace! I will!'
'Grud on a greenie! Hey babe, will you marry Alan?'
'You bet I drokkin' will!'
'I now pronounce you man and wife! Now, outta the church, creeps!'
Whereas Robbie Morrison would have to swing in on a rope and have a swordfight with the best man, before killing the priest and half the ushers, all the time swearing in cod-Russian dialect. Rather like the service I'm planning, in fact.
Oh, and congrats to Grant and Kristin, the fairytale Prince and Princess of a new, alternative Albion...Now don't get me wrong, I'm as straight as the next man, squire, but even I have to admit to stifling a single saline tear when I first 'eard the news...I likes a good weddin', I do...some people have nothing but criticism for great institutions like marriage, but what do they have to offer in its place, eh? Eh? You tell me that, squire, you tell me that...Exactly. God save the Hive! |
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