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Wedding Bells for Morrison?

 
  

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Ganesh
14:20 / 26.04.04
Okay, tax breaks - or, at least, making money.

1) Start a relationship with someone who's worked in the public sector for many years, and has stored up plenty of lovely superannuation.

2) Marry them.

2a) Be heterosexual.

3) Either wait for them to die, or kill them (subtly).

You will now be in receipt of their superannuation back-dated to the day they first began working in the public sector.

NB If you miss out 2a), you will be in receipt of their superannuation back-dated to the day you married them. Not quite as impressive.
 
 
Sax
14:26 / 26.04.04
I'm rubbish with money. I don't even know what superannuation is (nothing to do with Fireball XL5, I'll guess?)

This gives a guide to marriage benefits for heteros.

Oh, and congratulations, Grant.
 
 
Ariadne
14:38 / 26.04.04
It's pension, I believe. And I didn't know that, Ganesh - how sneaky of them.
 
 
I am Invisible now
03:43 / 27.04.04
Congrats to you both!
now will you go back to NXM?
I can dream.......
 
 
louisemichel
15:41 / 01.06.04
Congratulations to you 2.
Hope you took photos.

No, not that kind of photos.
Well... if you insist...
 
 
Spyder Todd 2008
17:17 / 01.06.04
Yay for Grant and Kristan! (Oh, and if you're reading this GM, don't listen to Haus, he's just bitter cause he's not getting any )
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
17:32 / 01.06.04
Gosh. You seem to be perhaps the dumbest fuck in the glass-case collection of dumb fucks available from the Wanklin Mint, Spyder. How does that feel, exactly? I mean, does it feel? Do the set of primitive electronic signals going to your arsebrain represent anything that a normal human being would define as "feeling"? Oh, sure, you flinch from fire, and you smile as you masturbate unselfconsciously in Woolworths, but are these reactions to sensations or merely the automatic functions of a nervous system about as sophisticated as the average Freeview set-top box?

Maybe after you do your remedial reading, if you can manage not to do shit over Peter and Jane this time, you'll be able to identify anything I might have written that could upset the deity to whom you have built your lackwit's shrine. I don't fancy your chances, but then your care worker, or perhaps more precisely your gardener, given that his function is essentially to turn you towards the light and redistribute the night soil, has asked us all to remain positive, so go you! Go, you plucky arse-brained kid! Read! Read like you've never read before! That is, at all.

(Seriously, dude, trying to undermine somebody for not getting enough hetero action *and* implying that marriage is the only route to the aforementioned hot woman-on-man jackanory? What are you, Amish? Were you so advanced at paramecium school that they let you skip a century?)
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
17:49 / 01.06.04
Oops. Nearly forgot.

 
 
Spyder Todd 2008
18:04 / 01.06.04
You're cute when you're angry.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
18:08 / 01.06.04
You aren't when you're stupid. Which is going to make organising a breeding pair an absolute shag.
 
 
FinderWolf
19:35 / 01.06.04
Hey, I just found about this (Grant's engagement & marriage) today!! And this thread should probably be more about well-wishing as opposed to political discussions about tax breaks via marriage, methinks...

Best wishes, Grant & Kristan! I too thought 'is he really the marrying type?' (not like we really know Grant's inner self anyway, we just know an image), but I see now that love has completely conquered these two and there's no stoppin' em! Congrats!
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
20:31 / 01.06.04
And this thread should probably be more about well-wishing as opposed to political discussions about tax breaks via marriage, methinks...

Conversation thread, dude. Tangents and offtopic wanderings allowed. TBH, I'm not sure I see the problem - so far the only people who have acted disrespectfully, as far as I can see, have been the kids who are indeed hoping for that PM saying "Usually I just lurk among my children, but the purity and grace with which you evoked my feelings for my beloved... well, it was as if you could see into my soul. Do you want to come over to the mansion, draw some comics with me and maybe wrassle?"... If we are assuming that Grant Morrison is as intelligent as he is generally supposed to be hereabouts, it seems a bit limiting to assume that he is going to be either ignorant of or incurious about the cultural and legal status of marriage, and that we must desperately throw confetti or he won't *love* us any more...

However, I suspect that I'm not getting through here.
 
 
Ganesh
20:50 / 01.06.04
You're getting through to me, my right hemisphere.
 
 
Bed Head
21:03 / 01.06.04
Keep talking. I’m starting to realise the enormous amount of fun that could be had by pretending to be a PM-happy Grant Morrison. The opportunities for, I don’t know, extracting money in exchange for looking over someone’s script, or promising them a trial as an artist on a super-secret new project that I’ve specially picked them to collaborate on. Right after they set up a joint bank account so I can get this project moving without DC knowing about it, and insisting on one of those boring ‘professional’ artists instead. Or maybe promising a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be a part of some kind of ‘chaos hyper-sigil’ pyramid scheme. Barbelith 419.


This is just the kind of wildly imaginative, pop-subversive identity-melding stunt I think will make Grant notice me.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
21:12 / 01.06.04
SIR,

I HOPE THAT THIS LETTER FINDS YOU IN GOOD HEALTH AND WITH YOUR PSYCHIC ARMOUR NON-DISEASED BY PARASITES. I AM INTRODUCING MYSELF TO YOU AFTER THE RECOMMENDATION OF A MUTUAL BUSINESS CONTACT WHO WISHES TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS AND HAS NO FACE. I AM ARTHUR SEAGUY, SON OF THE LATE HERO SEAGUY. I HAVE FOUND MYSELF WITH FUNDS OF TWENTY SIX MILLION (26,000,000) TINS OF XOO, WHICH MY FATHER STORE IN A SECRET SWISS BANK ACCOUNT. MY FATHER'S ENEMIES SEEK TO TAKE THIS MONEY....

You know, I'm liking this already...
 
 
CameronStewart
21:15 / 01.06.04
HA!
 
 
Olulabelle
23:40 / 01.06.04
OK.

*Composes self*

From Haus-after-Spyder down, have you all been hit with the funny stick in one consecutive swoop tonight?

I did all my pelvic floor exercises religiously, before, during and after I gave birth and I still goddamn nearly wet myself reading this. Seriously!
 
 
Jack Denfeld
08:22 / 02.06.04
I like marriage. I think it's romantic.
 
 
Sax
08:26 / 02.06.04

That's because you're programmed that way.
 
 
---
09:25 / 02.06.04
Yeah, congrats to the both of you! I hope your both happy, doing well and enjoying yourselves.

All the best for the future!
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
09:55 / 02.06.04
On a slightly more serious note, anyone think we should edit out the mention of the fortunate bride's surname from page one? I don't know how she feels about being named in full on the Internet, and I'm not sure what it achieves, except as exhibition of a slightly disturbing need to demonstrate a closer knowledge of the domestic life of the Morrison than any of the other kids...
 
 
I'm Rick Jones, bitch
10:04 / 02.06.04
Dear Grant:

DON'T DO IT!
 
 
I'm Rick Jones, bitch
10:07 / 02.06.04
Or you know, do it.

Please produce offspring to entertain my decendants with marvelous headfuck comics.
 
 
The Natural Way
11:09 / 02.06.04
I've been doing my bit to equate marriage with the Proclaimers and general sickness - does this mean I'm subverting the institution? Am I invisible?

If I'm Invisible, do I get to marriage Morrison?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:16 / 02.06.04
You'll have to hurry, and even then I think you may be too late...

However, as a consolation prize I will sprinkle you with fairy dust and allow you to marriage both Alan Grant and Robbie Morrison. And all will be well in Weddingland.
 
 
penitentvandal
13:06 / 02.06.04
Both of which could be very interesting weddings...Obviously at Alan Grant's wedding every speech, vow, etc would have to be at most twelve words long and begin with phrases like STOMM! or DROKK!, i.e.

'Drokk! Alan, will you marry her?'
'Stomm, your grace! I will!'
'Grud on a greenie! Hey babe, will you marry Alan?'
'You bet I drokkin' will!'
'I now pronounce you man and wife! Now, outta the church, creeps!'

Whereas Robbie Morrison would have to swing in on a rope and have a swordfight with the best man, before killing the priest and half the ushers, all the time swearing in cod-Russian dialect. Rather like the service I'm planning, in fact.

Oh, and congrats to Grant and Kristin, the fairytale Prince and Princess of a new, alternative Albion...Now don't get me wrong, I'm as straight as the next man, squire, but even I have to admit to stifling a single saline tear when I first 'eard the news...I likes a good weddin', I do...some people have nothing but criticism for great institutions like marriage, but what do they have to offer in its place, eh? Eh? You tell me that, squire, you tell me that...Exactly. God save the Hive!
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
13:15 / 02.06.04
I have an alternative to marriage.

Would you like to know what it is?

It is simple:

MARRIAGE.

Ask the Ox. He knows.
 
 
Ganesh
13:22 / 02.06.04
Is that like EDUCATION?
 
 
Ex
14:01 / 02.06.04
what do they have to offer in its place, eh?

- solipsistic refusal of all responsibility
- sexual deviance
- a Buffy box set of your choosing
 
 
Spyder Todd 2008
14:46 / 02.06.04
Umm... I think I'll take marrige over Ex's options...
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
15:01 / 02.06.04
Ah, yes. Marrige. Like Marriche, and MARRIAGE, this is a fine substitute for marriage.

Ganesh gets it.
 
 
---
15:15 / 02.06.04
I've been doing my bit to equate marriage with the Proclaimers and general sickness - does this mean I'm subverting the institution?

The Proclaimers?

Am I invisible?

No.

But.........if you GOOOOOOOOOO will you seeeend baaaaack, i lettaaaaarr, FROOOOOM AMERICAAAAAAAAAAA.........

Love 'em. Heard them in the pub the other night, that songs a classic.
 
 
---
15:21 / 02.06.04
On a slightly more serious note, anyone think we should edit out the mention of the fortunate bride's surname from page one? I don't know how she feels about being named in full on the Internet, and I'm not sure what it achieves, except as exhibition of a slightly disturbing need to demonstrate a closer knowledge of the domestic life of the Morrison than any of the other kids...

I agree man, even though it's not her second name anymore (unless she's kept it?) i don't think there's any reason to keep it there, it's not as if we need to know that info.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:29 / 02.06.04
I agree man, even though it's not her second name anymore (unless she's kept it?)

Funnily enough, as I was writing, I wondered whether to add "and if anyone assumes with no other evidence than what your mum did that she is now called Kristan Morrison, or whatever GM's birth-certificate name may be, because however transgressive and groovy you may think the happy couple are they are obviously going to observe *that* tradition absolutely without question, I will use him, her or it on my azaleas", but decided on the whole that it was unnecessary. After all, who would naturally expect Grant Morrison to be so hidebound?

I'm disappointed with the picture that you guys are painting of Morrison as an uncritical, incurious and emotionally needy person here. I think the guy deserves better. He's a talented writer, a successful comic creator and creative personality, and the man's just got married, for Pete's sake. Give him a *break*!
 
 
grant
16:57 / 02.06.04
And Johnny Von Kobra is sinking a convoy in their honor.

I'm getting misty just thinking about it.
 
  

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