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New members are fucking stupid

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12:06 / 02.04.04

I have this wonderful vision of myself in a silk wedding dress, standing on the back of Von's lovely old U Boat sailing down the Thames, throwing roses to you all. It'd be beautiful.

yeah, it would be beauiful... until i got all tarted up like a two-dollar whore with heavy blue eyeshadow and too much mascara, and i tackled you in your oh-so-pretty dress, and it turned into a big catfight, Dynasty-style, with both of us eventually ending up tumbling into the Thames. do you want to be Linda Evans or Joan Collins?

12:59 / 02.04.04

Well, obviously it sounds you're Joan. Linda was always the good girl, as I will be. Truth and true love will find a way in the end.

So, keep you hands off my Admiral, BITCH!

*sopping wet, seaweed clinging to dress, bears talons*

(which are coloured a lovely translucent white (Ayran Pearl, £20.99 from Clinque)

VonKobra,Scuttling&Slithering

15:35 / 02.04.04

* coldly swivels on CREAKING LEATHER JACKBOOT *

Meine schonen fraus....

It is unbecomink, zis pehaviour.

* runs Calfskin-clad finger slowly along Duelling Scar on cheek *

You are poth peautiful peyond measure...

would I gould RAVIZH you poth...

* fixes ladies with ice cold glare of a Thousand Dead Suns *

put zere shall pe only VUN VINNER!

Ze fraulein who could gum petween me und mein UNTERSEEBOOT ist der ZPECIAL voman inteed.

VERE ARE ZE ENIGMA GODES!!!!!! HMMMMM????????
VERE IST DER SWARFEGA!!!!!! JAWHOL!!! YOU KNOW!!! I ZEE ID IN YOUR ASS!!!!!

* repeatedly THWACKS Skull - Adorned Riding Crop against FIRM DENIMCLAD THIGHS for emphasis *

You may zink you gan resizt my vill.....

PUT I EM DER KOMMANDER...UND ZE CHACKBOOT UFF GOMORRAH HAS VAYZ UFF MECKING YOU DOCK!!!!

* smoulders RUGGEDLY, like a Stuka crashing into a GLACIER *

16:44 / 02.04.04

And now I get to spend a merry half hour cleaning apple juice from my monitor. Remind me never to be drinking anything when reading a post by von Kobra...

Question though, with respect: von Kobra, isn't it awfully bad luck to have a woman on board a ship?

Matthew Fluxington

16:53 / 02.04.04

Ha, I think of Toksik as being a "new member."

VonKobra,Scuttling&Slithering

10:35 / 03.04.04

Yes.

Yes it is awfully bad luck to have a woman aboard a ship.

A SHIP.

Not a SLEEK UNNATURAL WARMONGERING DENIM APOCALYPSE DILDO.

I do worry about the large amount of SEAMEN within the VESSEL though.

The SMELL OF FRAULEIN may cause it to BURST.

But then...

* fondles Chainsaw *

my DARKLY HANDSOME brand of DISCIPLINE ought to hold things together.

* smiles viciously, bringing to mind PANZERS falling from the FLAMING HEAVENS *

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

10:41 / 03.04.04

You know, for a while I thought Von Kobra was helmschmied having a laugh... I think they'd get on great!

15:29 / 07.04.04

Awww...cmon Stoatie. Do you really think that I'd gain command of a U-boat and not invite you along for a ride? Then again....red stripe cans and dirty clothes tend to pile up pretty fast in the cramped quarters of a submarine, and I'm not sure there's a place to put your unicycle.

15:36 / 07.04.04

(psst... click me!)

Sign: These Funions are surprisingly fun.
Countersign: Get your damn hands off the microphone!

Celeriac Is Ugly Vegetable

17:32 / 07.04.04

I don't know what I'm doing here.

19:48 / 07.04.04

i'm still posting, dude. and i'm new. so sue me.

00:03 / 16.09.04

so, who wants an ipod?

00:19 / 16.09.04

Are you giving it away or do you have the audacity to ask for something in return?

flufeemunk effluvia

00:23 / 16.09.04

Ooh Ooh Me! (a mac one please)

Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey

08:25 / 16.09.04

I'll have two, please.

10:06 / 16.09.04

I don't want an Ipod, I want a pony.

A pony I tell you. That plays MP3s.

16:59 / 16.09.04

Are you giving it away or do you have the audacity to ask for something in return?

oh, neither.
i was just wondering.
i mean, its nice to know these things, isnt it?

im intrigued at the thought of an (hopefully singing and dancing) ipony, though... tell me more!
do they come piebald or only that clean white colour?

i wonder where one sticks the firwire...

We're The Great Old Ones Now

17:30 / 16.09.04

You're thinking of the old Pony. The new one's wireless. Great hack.

[That's enough Pony jokes. Ed.]

17:43 / 16.09.04

Ha, I think of Flux as being a "new member"...

18:06 / 16.09.04

dude, where's your iPenis gag?
damnit, i thought i could rely on you, ganesh.

18:08 / 16.09.04

Pfft. Bit forced, that one...

19:18 / 16.09.04

oh, right.
so is it only NHS doctors that take seven months on their comebacks?
dude, are you sure you arent new?

(heh.
forced.
heheh.)

19:34 / 16.09.04

Wish I were shiny and new...

01:10 / 18.09.04

A Flash-based public service announcement.

Most of which doesn't actually apply directly to Barbelith, but the principles are universal.

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