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New members are fucking stupid

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foot long subbacultcha

08:56 / 31.03.04

Not a good idea, mate. She's quite neurotic.

Also, I live with her, and I don't think having you around would be appropriate...

...even assuming she wasn't married. To my dad.

As well as the fact that she's MY BLOODY MUM!

Jeez I'm getting flashbacks to being dropped off at school and having to hear shit like "Hey, your mum's really fit."

Come on, now.

I was fine with the "so how did you end up so ugly" comments.

09:51 / 31.03.04

...even assuming she wasn't married. To my dad.

Listen to him, showing off his perfect family...

10:33 / 31.03.04

I am user 1. Frankly none of you are worth talking to.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

11:51 / 31.03.04

*heart is cleaved in twain*

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

11:59 / 31.03.04

Or is that "cloven"? I've had too much whiskey to remember. In fact, I may have just fabricated a verb out of the word "cleaver". Someone give me a flare gun. It's dark in here.

The resistable rise of Reidcourchie

15:07 / 31.03.04

"I am user 1. Frankly none of you are worth talking to."

Not even Scoobyjah's mum?

Perhaps I am being a little shallow.

15:12 / 31.03.04

Cloven is for hooves only, James.

Tom is the giant holographic cybernecrotic mega-head at the End Of It All. If we dance, it is to his pleasure or to the grave.

15:16 / 31.03.04

For some reason every so often I think I hear Tom scream "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!!"

ONLY NICE THINGS

15:42 / 31.03.04

Cleft, Johnny. Cleft in twain. Cleft. And we're back to mums.

Oh, the hours of sadistic fun we had, teasing little baby Barbelite toksik when he first joined us!

Ah, yes.

"Gay is good, like a hot day is good. Too gay is bad, like dying of heat exhaustion."

Bless his tiny bootees.

16:47 / 31.03.04

I am user 1. Frankly none of you are worth talking to.

If he makes his horse a moderator, we're all in bad trouble. Watch out for the first warning sign: Tom getting a horse.

16:50 / 31.03.04

and just as i was warming to haus...

oh shit!
warming?
you dont think i'm... well, y'know?

16:53 / 31.03.04

A space heater?

#339 going away now...

ONLY NICE THINGS

17:37 / 31.03.04

Or possibly a heat-the-ba'?

Come now, toksik. It merely boots us to remember that once we were young in the world and more than capable of making the most utterly mind-mincing solecisms...

Not that I did, obviously. Ever. And there's no way to prove that I did, because the board has been wiped clean. Clean, I tell you! Bwahaha!

17:39 / 31.03.04

Which, now that you mention it, is remarkably convenient for you, isn't it, Mr. Haus? Hmm...

17:48 / 31.03.04

Come now, toksik.

my, arent you the disciplinarian...

ONLY NICE THINGS

18:07 / 31.03.04

Yes, Grey Area, I killed it so it wouldn't talk.

19:14 / 31.03.04

I'm sorry, but I simply don't believe in Tom. I mean, c'mon!
"There is no Tom but Tom, and Tom is his prophet..."
Who believes in that stuff any more?

The Tom myth is clearly the work of The Conspiracy, to keep us all asleep and pliant.

19:16 / 31.03.04

My priests are watching you.

19:19 / 31.03.04

So what? My priests are watching him and giving him candy. I expect a lawsuit.

ONLY NICE THINGS

19:20 / 31.03.04

How can you sleep, Mr. Lekvar, when you cannot even.... speak?

Oh. Actually, that would be quite easy, wouldn't it? Don't mind me.

*whistles*

20:27 / 31.03.04

I am not a number.

I am a libertine.

And I never for a second imagined I was so old. Oof.

20:35 / 31.03.04

Don't you people wanna just do the simple thing and merge this thread with the 'old members are fucking boring' thread?

*evil grin*

21:23 / 31.03.04

Gee, this is a regular fuck-tard wank-fest aint it? Prepare to be replaced and invaded old-timers. It's all about "In" versus "out", what? Well i'm "out" and i'm coming "in".

Wankers.

21:39 / 31.03.04

Well i'm "out" and i'm coming "in".

Congratulations. I'm bored already.

VonKobra,Scuttling&Slithering

05:49 / 01.04.04

I am new here.

Treat me badly. Strap me to the Massage Table at the back of the YMCA and Thrash me with Cedar and Birch.

Oil me up and push me mercilessly into small bolt-holes, chafing me unneccessarily.

Put Badgers down my Regulation Kriegsmarine Denims and prod me with a Feather Duster.

OH, FORTUNA!

This I ORDER as your KOMMANDER.

RAUS!!!!

07:43 / 02.04.04

Gee, this is a regular fuck-tard wank-fest aint it? Prepare to be replaced and invaded old-timers.

so,
whats a fuck-tard wank-fest like? is that where we all watch you having sex with retarded kids while masturbating? and if you go replacing all the new members before you invade them, who's really getting invaded? how much wood would a woodchuck suck if a woodchuck could suck wood, and was in fact you?

oh, sorry.
i meant to say "welcome to barbelith, may all your streets be paved with pirates"... comes out wrong sometimes.
damn my speech impediment.

lonely as a cloud...

07:46 / 02.04.04

I am also new here.
Any chance of a spanking...?

07:54 / 02.04.04

Put Badgers down my Regulation Kriegsmarine Denims and prod me with a Feather Duster.

listen, BUDDY, round these parts we older and more DISTINGUISHED members LIKE badgers.

see here.

TAKEYOURHANDOUTTAYOURPANTSWHENI'MTALKINGTOYOU, SAILOR!

so...
how are you at infiltrations?

07:56 / 02.04.04

i'll spank you, but only if you are a pert young thing. male is okay, but you'd best wax.

i do have a strict 'no office workers with overly warm asses' rule to be aware of too.

lonely as a cloud...

08:03 / 02.04.04

To wax, or not to wax...hmmmm.
You have me in a quandry there, toksik.

10:33 / 02.04.04

New members are fucking stupid?!? This is elitism gone mad!!!

11:19 / 02.04.04

He's still not wearing underwear, look the emporer wears no pants etc etc...

11:25 / 02.04.04

whispers

... that Von Kobra? He's kind of dashing, ain't he?

*fans self*

I love a man in uniform, epecially if he's got his own transport.

And a leather trenchcoat.

11:38 / 02.04.04

How about it VK? Do you fancy trying to blitzkreig my frontiers?

I have this wonderful vision of myself in a silk wedding dress, standing on the back of Von's lovely old U Boat sailing down the Thames, throwing roses to you all. It'd be beautiful.

*starts weeping*

Ex

11:46 / 02.04.04

*joins Illmatic in weeping, but for wholly different reasons*

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