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I Have A Serious Question

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Smoothly

17:09 / 02.03.04

Rye oh rye oh rye...

The Apple-Picker

18:19 / 02.03.04

You lazy people. Make your own goddamned bread.

Especially you, Todd, with your ciabatta.

Ethan Hawke

21:51 / 02.03.04

You know, that really should have read "Won't somebody please think of ciabatta?!"

You know I'm out of sorts when I'm messing up my Simpsons quotes.

TheApple-Picker, (was this always hyphenated? Or maybe this is a FAKE TheApplePicker!) that sounds like a dare. I'm going to look for a ciabatta recipe and bake my own bread. I have a pizza stone, and I bet I could make some fucking spectacular bread with that.

ONLY NICE THINGS

22:04 / 02.03.04

You've probably never had good rye bread, which is understandable, considering that you live in England.

Hmmm. Maybe Waitrose? That's the usual high-street store of overpriced exotica. Otherwise, I think a fair few delis and specialist bread shops do rather good rye bread - Partridges in South Ken, IIRC. However, I think our rye bread is a bit denser and more chewy than yours, and we have fewer delis as you would understand the term and more sandwich shops, which may explain the paucity of exotic bread choices.

To move along a slightly different culinary stereotype, why on Earth is American tea so virulently orange? Is it actually tea as we know it?

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

22:27 / 02.03.04

Americans don't drink tea, dumbass!

ONLY NICE THINGS

22:30 / 02.03.04

That explains a lot. For starters, why the stuff that is sold as "tea" in the stores of New York creates a substance not unakin to brick dust in hot water.

However, your contention is incorrect. Americans *do* drink tea, just not the Americans you know.

Ethan Hawke

22:39 / 02.03.04

At the office, there's this magic machine that makes exactly one cup of fresh coffee on command. It's brilliant. Somewhat recently, they've modified this machine so that it also makes tea. You just put this little vacuum-sealed cup in there, you see? And out comes your green tea, piping hot! And orange-y!

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

23:16 / 02.03.04

That's not tea.

Ethan Hawke

23:19 / 02.03.04

It says so on the cup! And in Chinese as well! Or, at least in that font designers use when they want their text to look "asian." You know the one - it pulls double duty as Native American as well?

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

23:20 / 02.03.04

Don't they just call that font "ethnic"?

Mazarine

23:24 / 02.03.04

I drink tea. And it isn't orange. I think the virulent orange shade may be caused by 1. Poor quality tea, in bags, with a high 'dust' quotient, and 2. Insufficient steeping time. Many people I've seen make tea assume it's done once the water starts to change color a bit. A third possibility is that these freakballs are using instant tea, which generally comes pre-flavored with "lemon" and is unspeakably nasty, but usually it's served iced, not hot.

This is all just conjecture, mind.

Ethan Hawke

23:26 / 02.03.04

I have a shameful secret. I've gotten hooked on this Tazo Starbucks brand green tea with ginger in it. I love ginger. It's in bags, but I let it steep for several minutes. With a lid over it.

illmatic

06:40 / 03.03.04

And in Chinese as well! Or, at least in that font designers use when they want their text to look "asian." You know the one - it pulls double duty as Native American as well?

Can you post some examples of that, Todd? I'm looking for inspiration for a tattoo.

No star here laces

08:39 / 03.03.04

Have you considered tribal or barbed wire? I find them highly original...

w1rebaby

10:28 / 03.03.04

I'd go for a Celtic barcode myself.

I think the reason the state of tea is so parlous in the US is the lack of electric kettles. (You might turn this around and say that the high tolerance for shit coffee in the UK is due to the availability of electric kettles promoting the use of Nescafé.) I am not big on tea but I enjoy a cup every now and then. The idea of boiling up water on the stove or in the microwave - no, really, people do this - is a bit much.

In meetings at work we do get hot water and teabags, but they're Liptons. Nuff said. In the same company in England we got several different varieties of Twinings.

Todd, you are the enemy.

Matthew Fluxington

10:44 / 03.03.04

Whenever I get the chance to travel to the UK, I really must make a point of getting some tea. I'm pretty sure the deficiencies in American teas that Haus mentions have a lot to do with why I don't particularly care for tea. I wonder if I'd prefer the British variety.

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

11:01 / 03.03.04

I don't like tea all that much. I'm an outcast!

Saveloy

12:43 / 03.03.04

We do have rye bread here in Britainsville, but we call it 'sliced corned beef'.

Flux> Next time I send you a disc I'll bung in a selection of teabags wrapped in foil. My personal favourite brands are Dilmah tea - proper Ceylon tea, you can get it in Tescos - and Yorkshire tea (the super-strength '2 cups from one bag' stuff).

grant

15:21 / 03.03.04

I have written to Subway about this and expect a reply shortly.

bitchiekittie

16:51 / 03.03.04

there are so kettles, I was in walmart the other day and there were about TWENTY MILLION varieties of electric kettles, they were overwhelming the goddamned perfectly pleasant espresso maker section. "I don't see" does not equal "doesn't exist".

also, UKans! there IS TOO real tea...it's like when tourists come to town and then complain there are no good restaurants - OF COURSE THERE ARE GOOD RESTAURANTS! we just don't want them fouled up by tourists and business travelers so we keep all the overpriced crap merchants where we know you'll go for fear of wandering more than half a mile from your hotel. you have to immerse yourself in the local color if you want the local goodies, see?

rizla mission

17:20 / 03.03.04

I think the reason the state of tea is so parlous in the US is the lack of electric kettles.

You mean...

..You're suggesting that in America, home of glorious home improvement technology and consumer convenience, they don't use electric kettles??

I mean, er, what?? What have they got instead? Gas powered kettles or something? Are they that apathetic toward hot drinks that they heat up water on the stove? Do they have some kind of special machines we can't even concieve of for heating up water?

Whatever the case, it's strange and I won't feel comfortable until I know what's going on regarding American water heating procedures.

Ariadne

17:34 / 03.03.04

Houses I've stayed in in America didn't have kettles. Instead they had filter coffee machines. Which is fine and dandy if you want filter coffee but not much use for anything else. I found it very strange indeed. A kettle is a basic human necessity, it should be in the statute books.

Mazarine

17:39 / 03.03.04

1. We have electric kettles, we just call them hot pots, and they are largely college contraband, chiefly used for making ramen.

2. I use a kettle that sits on the stove (gas), boil the water, make the tea. It whistles most shrilly. I think I make good tea, but I've never had it stand the test of an English drinker.

3. Most tea you buy from anyplace that serves coffee will draw on water heated by the industrial coffee maker (containing no coffee) which is CRAZY hot. We have lawsuits about it sometimes. This could be part of the problem.

4. Places without a coffee maker will more likely than not use the microwave, and I'd imagine some of them just put the tea bag in cold water, put the cup in the microwave, and let it stew for a while, which cooks the leaves and is a sure fire recipe for godawdful tea. Seriously. It's nasty.

Mazarine

17:41 / 03.03.04

Bah, left things out- people rarely seem to use hotpots for making tea, and we are a nation that loves our microwaves too dearly.

ibis the being

18:12 / 03.03.04

holy crap. we have things to boil water in. POTS.

to answer the original question, it's because Subway is waiting for 2006 when Jared's gained the weight back and sandwich sales have begun to sag and they have to whip out a secret weapon - the All! New! "Deli-style Rye" at Subway!

pomegranate

18:31 / 03.03.04

i'm with ibis on this one.

The Apple-Picker

18:31 / 03.03.04

Thank you, ibis, for bringing things back on topic. Who gives a damn about tea? I mean really. This thread is about bread.

Yes, Todd, you should make your own ciabatta. I've made my own ciabatta, and I bet it would kick your ciabatta's ass, I'll bet. And then you'd cry, you little tweemo boy.

Ethan Hawke

18:35 / 03.03.04

Should we have a bake-off? I've never baked before but I feel certain that I'm better at it than you.

BAKE-OFF!

Olulabelle

18:37 / 03.03.04

A bake-off?

This is...what?

The Apple-Picker

19:40 / 03.03.04

You are a fool, Todd. The only way you can win is if chains are involved in this bake-off.

ONLY NICE THINGS

20:50 / 03.03.04

Oooh - Yorkshire tea. Pretty hardcore.

Olulabelle

21:12 / 03.03.04

Yorkshire tea is vile and terribly un-genteel. Tea is a genteel drink and Earl Grey is where it's at. Any Englishman worth his salt should know that.

And why will no-one explain to me what a bake-off is?

sleazenation

21:18 / 03.03.04

I'm sticking with the jasmin thanks...

Persephone

21:26 / 03.03.04

I have an electric kettle, but I use it to heat up water for my bath.

Persephone

21:29 / 03.03.04

A bake-off is a baking contest. Like the walk-off in Zoolander, only with baking instead of walking & without male models.

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