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LURVE SPELL

  
  

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Perfect Tommy
10:28 / 28.03.04
I'm bumping/hijacking this thread to ask for counsel on something I'm mulling over, and I thought the previous discussion on the ethics of love spells made for good context.

I'm no master sorceror, but neither am I a neophyte. I'm well aware that one shouldn't go meddling with someone else's unconscious uninvited, and that doing so is troubling to the caster as much as to the castee.

However.

The girl that I am in love with, and broke up with under stupid and shouty circumstances, is currently dating a... well, I will politely say that she is dating someone who I am unable to see the good side of. Although it's been hard, and although I frequently sense she feels strongly about me, I'm determined to grit my teeth and avoid poaching. But assuming that their relationship runs its course and ends sometime this year, I would really like another chance—I feel that I've learned more about male-female relationships in the past year than in the previous 27, and I think it would be a shame if we couldn't try to repair what mistakes we made.

What I want to do is enchant for opportunity when it comes up. Basically, I want the chance to ask her out again and start over, without meddling in whatever she's learning from the current fellow (who I admittedly think is a jackass, but she must see something redeeming in him or they wouldn't have been dating for the past few months).

I don't think I'm unhealthily obsessed. I've been seeing someone casually over the past few months, and I continue to pursue other women in my charmingly inept way. But I know I'm too close to all this—sometimes when I see her I am thrilled to just be able to love her without requiring something from her, and other times (like, ahem, tonight when I ran into her and her boy) I feel like I have a gardening implement in my heart.

I'm either asking to be talked out of doing anything at all etheric, or I'm asking for someone to do a divination on my behalf, or I'm asking for reassurance that there is some useful and ethically sound probability manipulation I can do, or... hell, I don't know I'm asking. The first time I was in love, we broke up for a year and then came back together to wonderful effect; this is the second time, and goddammit, she's the most intelligent human I've yet run across and I don't want to have frittered away an opportunity.

Er... anyone?
 
 
Seth
12:31 / 28.03.04
Does she know that you're sorry about the "stupid shouty circumstances?" What kind of terms are the two of you on at the moment?

My friend, you may never get the opportunity you're after. Just try to make sure that you've done the most you can to resolve everything from when the relationship broke up, then work like buggery to make yourself the most wonderful human being alive.
 
 
gravitybitch
16:15 / 28.03.04
Seth's advice is spot on...

If you feel like you have to meddle just a little, you could give her a completely inconsequential little gift (rubber ducky?) with a note containing a short and sincere apology and something like "If you find yourself single, think of me?"
 
 
gravitybitch
16:21 / 28.03.04
I just pulled three cards. Do with it what you wilt...

First card: Knight of Disks

Second card: Prince of Disks

Third card: 9 of Disks
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
16:32 / 28.03.04
The girl that I am in love with, and broke up with under stupid and shouty circumstances, is currently dating a... well, I will politely say that she is dating someone who I am unable to see the good side of.

Well....that certainly is a problem. If you were going out with him. You aren't.

As I understand it, you are not asking if it is OK to try to poach this girl using magic. If you were, the first question would presumably be whether it is OK to poach this girl. That's an ethical and personal decision you would have to make yourself.

If you are asking whether it is OK to use magic to get the chance to ask her out again when she has broken up with him - well, what has magic got to do with it? She may break up with him, she may not. If she does, you can ask her out again. What I *would* question is whether you are being fair to your current quasipartner and the other women you are pursuing in the meantime. Ends not means, remember...

If you mean you want to exercise some sort of mind control to ensure that she breaks up with her boyfriend (because that's the word. Her. Boy. Friend), after which you are happy to let the chips fall as they will as long as you get a chance to ask her out again, way-ull, see previous thread, really.
 
 
Perfect Tommy
07:13 / 29.03.04
Seth: We are currently friends—good friends in terms of the quality of time we spend together, but we don't get all that many opportunities with us both being students and her being a mother.

iszabelle, your inconsequential meddling suggestion has pretty much already been taken care of. Interestingly enough, your tarot pull answered a question I've been afraid to ask, namely: should I just give up? My interpretation is that persistence may be rewarded, but that practicality and patience, rather than a quixotic charge of flashing wand, is what is called for.

Haus: I didn't really have a firm statement of intent in mind. I think I was considering some sort of environmental manipulation: hoping to be in the right place at the right time after their relationship ran its course, with the sun shining correctly and me wearing whatever her favorite tie was. But now I think that if there is any magic to be done (and I'm not sure there is), it's to guide myself in making me the best person I can be. On the other point, I believe I'm being fair to the current quasipartner in that she is stretching her seeing-other-people muscles moreso than I am; but I'm going to watch myself carefully to make sure I am being fair, to her and others.

I thank you all sincerely for your responses... they were what I needed to hear.
 
 
C.Elseware
07:32 / 29.03.04
I'm not going to go back over all that previous discussion on magickal ethics.

How about a working in which you upload a future version of yourself (cf. the downloading future selves). This future self meets me (chris) in the flesh and I ask how that whole love spell thing turned out. You say "Not how I expected, but if I could have it over I wouldn't have it any way. Would you like a beer...?"

It leaves it open to work out in lots of different ways, but I think that's a good thing.
 
 
Perfect Tommy
07:59 / 29.03.04
Aw, you're just trying to get a beer out my temporal progeny! (But hey, if my future self is buying...)

I'm going to sit on this for a week or two, but I think the most I'll do is spells to make me fuckin' awesome. Those are generally worthwhile, and they've worked in the past. For anything else, I'm going to rely on her actions. I had been concerned that I wouldn't know if/when they broke up, and would thus lose my chance... but, fer fuck's sake, if she breaks up with him and doesn't tell me about it, that's her answer right there. I've got to trust her to make the right decision for herself; anything else and I may as well be sitting in the bushes outside her house.

(Regardless, take the beer if offered!)
 
 
Seth
10:46 / 29.03.04
Proud of you, Tommy. You've got a good heart.
 
 
Perfect Tommy
04:27 / 30.03.04
Either that, or I'm good at ignoring my heart when it shouts "DO IT!" at me =)
 
 
Seth
06:44 / 30.03.04
It's a skill.
 
 
johnj
13:41 / 17.04.04
CAN U MKE JENIFA NSITON LUV ME1?!?!!??!?1/1!?!?1?!?!1/!?!?!/!!?1/1/1/

I KNOW SHE DOESNTRILLY LUV HER HUSBAND11!1!!
 
 
Spatula Clarke
14:35 / 17.04.04
I suspect that we'd have trouble making your mother love you.
 
  

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