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Questions about MattsGurl4eva

 
  

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Sax
13:03 / 26.08.03
It's been a loooong time since anyone new blew through town. MattsGurl4eva was the last suit to be registered... in July. So, welcome.

As I'm getting so used to seeing "The newest member is MattsGurl4eva" on top of Barbelith, I have a few questions to round out my mental image:

Who's Matt? Is it a boy or a girl?
Are you a girl? Or a gurl? And what's the difference?

Do you really think you'll be with Matt 4eva? They must be very special for you to announce that you are their's forever.

When's the last time Matt did anything romantic? Flowers? Chocolates? Tickets to the opera? Carved your name into his/her forehead?

Does the night have a thousand eyes, to help you see if Matt is true to you?

Of course, you don't have to answer if you don't like. I'm just being curious.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
13:07 / 26.08.03
No, it's
Mat=As in, the cat sat on the.
ts=tough shit.
g= gee.
url=internet reference
4=4
eva= cassidy.

So, evidently they think, 'Gee, it's tough shit that Eva Cassidy's website is only selling four souvenir mats.'
 
 
Tryphena Absent
13:11 / 26.08.03
Ha. This is a clear case of unrequited love. Matt's clearly being awful to this poor gurl, Matt probably hardly knows it exists, and yet gurl truly remains Matt's... 4eva.
 
 
Papess
13:19 / 26.08.03
This has been on my mind too.

Check the number-spell on the id, also. It is no wonder it has been there for so long.

I almost want to start another suit just to break it...but fuck, why would I mess that handiwork up?

4 eva and eva....

Let's hear from the threads guest of honour.
 
 
pomegranate
13:20 / 26.08.03
best thread, eva!!!!
 
 
Tryphena Absent
13:25 / 26.08.03
The board is not accepting new members atm, I am right about that aren't I? She has been invaded by the bastard one and thus her doors have been closed by our leader the great Tom who's command decisions are second to none. It is like Jean Luc Picard in charge of the Enterprise.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
13:33 / 26.08.03
I suspect Matt must be the name of a fictional character, possibly from a comic. Our latest member is clearly following in a fine fanperson tradition (cf: GriftersBestMan, GambitsSouthernBell). Perhaps they're a big Daredevil fan? He's a man without fear, you know.
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
13:38 / 26.08.03
Are you a girl? Or a gurl? And what's the difference?

SIR SIR PLEEZ SIR a gurl is a weedy wet who hav a face like a squished tomato, as any fule kno. A gurl like mavis is also super brany and a SWOT chiz chiz and the darling of sigismund the mad maths master.
 
 
Sauron
13:42 / 26.08.03
Schtop. You've probably scared Matt/ Gurl into never posting 4eva ....

Slowly slowly catch a monkey, the truth is out there etc ...
 
 
Mourne Kransky
13:46 / 26.08.03
"Matt" can't be Matt Dillon, as I have him trussed up behind the couch, until the Stockholm Syndrome kicks in.

It occurs to me that she may be attempting to send a distress signal in code and we have been just ignoring the poor soul.

She may be being held captive in a German prison and forced to commit vile sexual acts upon the resident vivisectors (STALAG 4 RIM VET)
or she may be next on the hit list of a Russian assassin (I'M TARGET 4 SLAV).

It is always possible I suppose that she's using a pirate code to offer to shave bristly one-legged sea dogs (AVAST 4 LEG TRIM).

We may never know, Grand Inquisitor Sax...
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
13:46 / 26.08.03
'Softly, softly'.

For reference.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
13:46 / 26.08.03
KKC is a big suck up. It loves the teachers but I saw it smoking behind the girl's dormitories the other day when it thought I was not there.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
13:50 / 26.08.03
If anyone's confused by that, they may wish to check Anna's thread.
 
 
Sax
13:51 / 26.08.03
Whizz-bang.

Xoc - you mean like a message inside a tube of toothpaste, or something. And nice anagramming, daddio.

And also for ref: "catchee monkey." I think.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
13:52 / 26.08.03
Before we all get too carried away, it also occurs to me that it may well be a few hours yet before MattsGurl4Eva is online.
 
 
Sax
13:54 / 26.08.03
If I'd been lurking for a month and saw a thread all about me I'd wet myself. It took me about a year to get any of you fuckers to speak to me.
 
 
Sauron
13:55 / 26.08.03
This time it's Slowly, slowly.

For reference.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
13:56 / 26.08.03
"Grand Ubiquity of the Island States of Yiao" makes a good point. Though Gurl may never be online or may even be a lurker intent on silence 4eva.
 
 
Sax
14:01 / 26.08.03
Or perhaps even an illegal secondary suit set up by one of you for purposes of mischief.

*Lightning flashes against the big picture window, illuminating the storm-tossed night outside the big house.*

I would prefer it if no-one left this thread until we are sure.

And for safety I would humbly suggest we sleep in pairs tonight.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
14:01 / 26.08.03
And, too late, I realise she spelt it gurl, not girl. Not even posting yet and I've already misunderstood her. Tsk.

Don't fret MattsGurl, we're not like this 4eva. We'll all get back to normal when Mars starts moving further away again. Apart from Sax, probably.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
14:03 / 26.08.03
Sax, it's all very well to suggest sleeping in pairs, but not everyone has leather pajamas like yours.
 
 
Saint Keggers
14:05 / 26.08.03
I have this weird Idea that there's already a Matt on the board and when he read this all he'll ever right is: "You're not my girl! Stay away from me! How many fucking times do I have to tell you its over??? Cant you take a hint??? DIE DIE DIE!!!"
 
 
Sauron
14:06 / 26.08.03
I'm not sleeping with anyone, except for me and my monkey.
 
 
Sax
14:07 / 26.08.03
Is that a no then, Yiao Boy?
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
15:36 / 26.08.03
If you're hoping to attract my attention, you'll want to use words like 'Grand' and 'Ubiquity'. Otherwise you'll end up ensconed.
 
 
Spyder Todd 2008
22:44 / 26.08.03
Gurl, Matt's been cheating on you for six months. With your sister. And your sister's best friend.
Well, not really, but I thought it was cleaver to say. Well, not really. I don't know why I said it. Oh well......
Where is MattsGurl4eva anyway?
 
 
mondo a-go-go
14:08 / 28.08.03
Ensconed?

Or, as the Americans might say, biscuited.
 
 
Papess
14:27 / 28.08.03
Does that work with Oreos?
 
 
mondo a-go-go
16:02 / 28.08.03
That would be cookied. But not kookied.
 
 
—| x |—
04:03 / 29.08.03
It seems to me prudent to, at this interval of the current dynamic, push the envelope (because there’s more than one way to skin a cat—especially if you give the cats to the rats and the rats to the cats: then you get the cat skins for free!) by remarking that five really will get ya’ twenty.
 
 
El Gato Was Right: the t-shirt
16:18 / 30.08.03
It seems as though noone's thought to check out MG4E's profile.

She's from Simi Valley, California, and she adds:
"~! u kno u wanna be here. o yea baby~!"

Now, Simi Valley's official website says the city offers affordable living, rolling hills (are there any other kind, I ask you?), and a local government that understands the need for businesses to succeed. "You know you want to be here," it adds. "Oh yeah, baby!"

Further, the "talented, educated and energetic labor pool" -- I think I've found something here -- "can provide business with a work-force prepared for the global marketplace of the 21st century."

So now we know that MG4E (which is what the cool kids call her) is "talented, educated" -- despite her poor spelling -- "and energetic."

I also believe MattsGurl4eva is telegraphing a confession of a lesbian affair. I'll explain. Almost everone will agree that she is this Matt fellow's "gurl," but she says she is for ("4") a woman named Eva ("eva").

If we are to assume that all the members of this love triangle -- Matt, Gurl and Eva -- are in the Simi Valley, then let us also conclude that they are all "talented, educated and energetic."
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
16:36 / 30.08.03
I recommend a barbemigration to simi valley to investigate. We shall all wear tweed hats, enscone ourselves amongst the population by making fun of typos, and sniff out wot's wot.
 
 
El Gato Was Right: the t-shirt
16:42 / 30.08.03
I'm at work, and have no access to AOL instant messenger right now, but maybe someone can check her out either through AIM or their own AOL account? Her email is: Butterfly0130@aol.com.

Anyone? It'll be such great fun.

(I know, I know. I'll probably make some special little lady a great stalker some day.)
 
 
Tamayyurt
17:32 / 30.08.03
Out of simple curiosity I have checked Matt and Eva's gurl aol profile. She's horribly boring she doesn't state and interests or hobbies or anything for that matter. Ah, the mystery continues.

Has anyone thought about PMing her and interviewing her on this thread?
 
 
—| x |—
18:08 / 30.08.03
Geez, I think we'd better find a way to open up the community again pretty quick before we all turn into obsessive stalkers!
 
  

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