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The Last Ish Of The Ultimates And Why It's Shit.

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The Natural Way

13:09 / 07.08.03

Just when you thought I was always going to be nice about it!

That sucked.

Look, Millar, you cannot introduce the alien agenda in the same issue you have it all go to tits up.

Chitauri Penis: "Hello, here's our masterplan to bring order to the universe. Oh look it's all gone wrong, just this second! What a coincidence!"

Talk about SHIT pacing! Soooooo fucking rushed and badly thought out.

And what the fuck? Still with the 4 month wait! This book isn't fucking worth a 4 month wait! What's going on? Hitch's art is hardly the best it's ever been! Fuck, what are those two playing at?

You know, contrary to some of the folks round here, I actually LIKE the wait between Leagues. The art's always AMAZING, the story just lovely...a League month is special. But this! This!

AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

Haus of Mystery

13:49 / 07.08.03

I 1000% agree. Read it last night. Thought it was shit. Gave it another go this morning and couldn't even finish it. Skilliance said it all, but I thought I'd add that this felt like the WORST kind of read. Like a Marvel comic from the early 90's. Fuck, it was nigh on incoherent. And what should (and has before) come across as epic and fast moving seemed like blowhardery. Compare this to the Hulk fight of ish 4. AAAAAAAAAAARGH. Balls to you Millar you fucking hack. Pull your finger out.

louisemichel

14:30 / 07.08.03

I think today's comic books are perfect reflections of their times: conservative, unambitious and self-congratulatory.
Grant M.

I can't think of anything else to say about this ish.

foot long subbacultcha

14:49 / 07.08.03

I dunno.. I don't really see this. I see Millar's work as an ironic "fuck you" to the old/new world order, kind of like the Authority was. Introducing the alien agenda and then smashing it in the same issue to me is a way of saying "look, I don't care what your plan is and how long you've been brewing it, we don't care. We want to mess it up now so that's what we'll do." The irony that I see if i tilt my head a certain way is that the Ultimates themselves represent a new world order. We can't really relate to these characters can we? Despite the extra dimensions Millar's supposedly given them.

I kind of sometimes get bored and sometimes get entertained by this series. Same with his work on Ultimate Xmen. Some of it I found forgettable, some of it pretty cool.

When Grant M made that comment I don't believe Mark Millar was the kind of writer he was talking about. I wonder who he was talking about, though. Worthy of another thread?

The Natural Way

14:54 / 07.08.03

Well, seeing as how they're mates and all that, I doubt it, too.

But as for all that "isn't this ironic?" business. Well, maybe (tho' I just think it's down to cruddy plotting), but it's still a shit story.

Sheeeeeeeeeeit.

It wasn't fun to read. It completely lacked drama.

Murray Hamhandler

15:12 / 07.08.03

But it's such a bargain. I subscribed to The Ultimates a year ago and I still have 9 issues left to go. That's, like...three more years! Rock on!

louisemichel

15:13 / 07.08.03

they WERE mates.

Now, all of Morrison's critics about today's comics are about conservatism, conspiracy (remember when he said 90's alert !), and so on.
I'm pretty sure he talks about The Ultimates when he says something like that.

The Natural Way

15:36 / 07.08.03

Louise, I'm fairly sure the Millar/Morrison feud was blown up in the...ahem....press.

He checks Millar in a very friendly way in Vortex's interview.
I'm also fairly sure that when he says "Most of my friends live in Hollywood" Millar's included. He lives thereabouts these days (I think).

And, anyway, stop throwing that stuff "conservative...blah" stuff about. That stuff's very low on my list of complaints re: the last Ultimates.

louisemichel

15:42 / 07.08.03

hum...
the ultimates is nonetheless one of the most conservative mainstream comics of its age.

Haus of Mystery

15:49 / 07.08.03

The Ultimates began with lots of potential, but has recently turned to shite, but I don't see it as 'the most conservative mainstream comics of its age'. Conservative how? In it's politics, or it's actual structure? One of the reasons the last issue was so bad was in it's relation to the earlier stuff which held such promise.

louisemichel

15:54 / 07.08.03

ahah, I love your name... (i'm a celebrity...)

Ok, both in political and structure.
Oh, maybeeeee it's a satire, but it's fucking Bush Jr and preemptive strikes driven.
A good satire is when everybody knows it's satire (Being french, I think of new statesman in UK).

The Natural Way

16:02 / 07.08.03

Perhaps it's politics are conservative, but I don't see how the book's structure is any more or less conservative than a million and one mainstream comics out there.

louisemichel

16:12 / 07.08.03

you're right.
But think of it that way : no surprises.

That's what I call conservatism

FinderWolf

20:39 / 07.08.03

This issue sucked but not because of politics. It sucked because after last issue's great cliffhanger, we're given a shit issue with the usual great art but with no story.

It's 24 pages of "Ha ha ha -- they're dead - let me be the cliche villain and tell you how I'm going to kill you all!" "Oops, wow, they're not dead!" That's the whole book.

Everything else is just shitty filler. And you're going to hint that Tony's force field is enough to protect something like 6 people from that huge a blast?? Come on. Just piss poor writing here.

Mister Six, whom all the girls

00:28 / 08.08.03

Glad I sold my lot on ebay.

Fuck Millar. I have his script for Ult X-Men #1 and it's crap. I was gonna sell it, but I think I'd rather wipe my ass with it.

ONLY NICE THINGS

19:00 / 08.08.03

I actually found the bit right at the end rather stirring - obvious as hell, but fun. The twenty pages of yet another Mark Millar female character being stripped, imprisoned and made helpless I could do without. Maybe the Clitauris should have... I don't know .... stubbed out a cigar on her tongue or something.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

23:38 / 08.08.03

Has he had any pregnant women turn up yet for absolutely no reason? That seems to be another stylistic quirk of his.

I probably should dig out the relevent topic but I've just read the last Authority TPB with the Authority's temporary replacement by a Government sanctioned team and was appalled by the quality of the bit he wrote. I don't know whether he knew it was being cancelled so just tossed off any old crap to fill the last couple of issues but having the Authority fight a super-villain and loose, spend an issue where the men are on the whole dealt with and tossed away but the women are having more care and attention paid to their denigration, an issue where the punishments just 'stop working' (Shen and Jack Hawksmoor just spontaneously stop being mind-controlled/retarded)and an issue and a half to route the bad guys including the one that took them out in the first part. Utter crap.

The Natural Way

11:38 / 09.08.03

I found the bit at the end stirring, too. But this ish wasn't so good in many ways.

finger n' thump

20:06 / 09.08.03

i liked the bit when wasp carried on her conversation with the skrull as normal even though she'd been shrunk.

Spaniel

09:19 / 10.08.03

I liked the bit where Captain America jumped.

Read through the series again. I think jumping might be one of his special powers.

John Adlin

10:41 / 10.08.03

Let's ressurect the Nazis as a baddie becase Arabs/Jhonny Forignher might alinate some readers.

I find Millars Good old Red White and Blue Captain Amercia a borderline Fascist, Look at the evidence here. Beating up Giant Man, a off screen attack on a group of hispaices who trashed his apartment. It's his way of the highway.

The end of the Issue rasied a intresting question about who actually controls the military complex and the "Only Obeying Orders" line.

(Persoanlly I wanted Wasp to Break out the Hulk from his Iso lab) It would have made more sense

Our Lady of The Two Towers

10:50 / 10.08.03

I thought Ultimate Captain America was supposed to be a fascist?

The Natural Way

12:50 / 10.08.03

None of the *evidence* Hank sites points to fascist. I think calling Cap a fascist is pushing it.

The Falcon

15:21 / 10.08.03

It's nonsense.

If I was Ultimate Cap, I'd've rattled Ultimate Giant-Man in the puss too. He thoroughly deserved it. Am I a fascist?

No.

Not sure about the 'offscreen attack on Hispanics' either; will have to check up to find that. Don't think I'll succeed.

This ish got everything wrong, deus ex machina everywhere, but actually reads okay if you read the story from 7 or 8 inclusive. And there's good bits; think it's relying on Hitch 'the Bitch' to pull it through on occasion.

FinderWolf

16:47 / 10.08.03

I didn't find the big double-page "Lead the charge" splash remotely stirring because of the 20-something pages of crap that led up to it. Plus, we've seen big splash pages with a dramatic line a million times thus far in ULTIMATES, so for me it's only going to work if the context is as cool as the drawing.

>> (Persoanlly I wanted Wasp to Break out the Hulk from his Iso lab) It would have made more sense

This is a fantastic idea! I seriously wish Millar had used this. It was also give us some more fun Hulk action; sort of lame that Hulk went on one rampage and that's it, now he's locked up for what seems to be a looooong time.

John Adlin

18:10 / 10.08.03

Without digging out my back issues. Good Old Cap "Pays a vist to some hispaics" in isse 4 or 5 I think.

The Issue where the backgrounds of The Ultimates are explored, Iron Man-Dying of Tumor, Thor-Enviromantal consience, And the volataile relationship between Giant Man and Wasp. Is this supposed to show how Cap America is a lost soul a 40's man in a 00's world? I'm still get a fascist vibe off Cap America. He's taking orders of who exactly? Nick Fury? Only untill it suits him no more.

The Falcon

21:40 / 10.08.03

Actually, in fairness, Cap is a dreadfully autonomous cock in Ultimate War.

The Natural Way

23:00 / 10.08.03

This is a fantastic idea! I seriously wish Millar had used this. It was also give us some more fun Hulk action; sort of lame that Hulk went on one rampage and that's it, now he's locked up for what seems to be a looooong time.

Uh, no that's clearly not "it". Aliens invade Ultimates base where Hulk is a prisoner. Hulk breaks out and cracks heads. Obvious, really. Definitely going to happen. And Hulk is one of the Defenders, inny? They turn up soon, I gather (poss in response to Alien threat). Plently more Hulk to come.

Krug

01:02 / 11.08.03

A screaming mad hulk tearing apart aliens like ants drawn by Hitch is a cool idea.

This comic might've been cool if it had been printed in 63.

I was still in heaven after finishing David Boring last night.

Millar shouldn't write more than ten issues of a series I think. The first ten of Ultimate X-Men were fantastic. The first ten of Ultimates were fantastic too. The first eten of authority were terrific (after Ellis' rubbish run) stuff.

He's clearly very overrated and the moment he said something to the effect of "Bruce Jones is the best writer Marvel has" I knew that it was a mistake to even think of him as Grant Morrison Jr or someone who might write one single comic that may be as good as Morrison's worst work.

The Falcon

02:16 / 11.08.03

I'd respectfully suggest that Millar has written several comics better than Spawn 14-16.

The bulk of what I've read by him surpasses those.

000

02:34 / 11.08.03

And he did manage to wet my appetite with his upcoming creator owned comics, perhaps even to the point where I might purchase them. Which is a wonderful compliment that Morrison (or whomever you cool kids are into) can't hope to emulate.

Millar might be a media whore in the inbred world of American comics, but he knows how to sell.

Sunny

15:54 / 11.08.03

oh man, are people still reading the ultimates? I fucking quit after the issue right before captain america beats down on giant man. this is a horrible series each issue leaves you with the promise that the next one's going to pick it all up and make up for the ugly and boring issues before it but it doesn't.
and what was the deal with the girls on the cover or trouble? they ain't so great looking to begin with but then they're wearing bikini tops for what. to put emphasis on them not having the "goods"? or maybe its just me.

Mr Tricks

16:23 / 11.08.03

This issue looks like a set-up for an Ultimate Kree/skrull war...

Haus of Mystery

21:29 / 11.08.03

Who cares. Not me anymore. I'm sick of his method of building up a supposedly unstoppable villain or threat and then in a couple of pages undermining everything that has gone before. In the Authority, which I loved at the time, the best issues were the Quitely ones (naturally) and the best of those, the ones where it was an issue long fight. But even then he was pulling the same shit. Look at the fight with the Bad Doctor - case in point. Beautifuuly drawn carnage but essentially a cop out. That said I'll probably still give the fucker a chance with 'Wanted'. Damn me.

Mr Tricks

21:37 / 11.08.03

"poor you" dude....

I thought the ending of the "bad doctor" storyline was quite good.

I'm cetainly not as "excited" about the Ultimates as I was when it started, but it's infrequency seems to work towards an advantage as there's enough time inbetween issues for me to be willing to pick it up when it's out... If it came out more frequently I might get "sick of it" quicker.

besides, it's still got the purty pictures

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