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Indeed, magnanimous Cholister,
two Alexanders duelling for blockbuster ticket sales coming up.
“I’m Alexander the Great.”
“No, I’m Alexander the Great…
“Oh, just shut up, Spartacus.”
Baz Luhrman is directing Leonardo di Caprio in the Bollywood musical version and Oliver Stone is directing Colin Farrell in “Alexander: the Conspiracy”, the version where Hephaestion is a CIA stoolie.
Apparently Mel Gibson too started planned a tv miniseries (it was short, because all the Greek Love was edited out) but he walked and left HBO hanging. Probably wanted it made in the original Macedonian dialect.
And Dino De Laurentiis was also developing an Alexander biopic with Sir Ridley Scott directing. Hollywood thinking must be “Gladiator was huge, Will and Grace is huge. Let’s remake Gladiator with a little Madeconian queer conquering the known world. Mega bucks!”
My money’s on Colin Farrell as a swashbuckling demigod cutting a swathe through the ephebes of Asia Minor and neglecting poor Roxanna...
Then there’s the Iliad to, filmed as Troy by the assured Wolfgang Petersen. Brad Pitt as Achilles (refusing to wear sandals because he has an aversion to his feet. Quite right, feet are horrid things.) Lovely, lovely Eric Bana as Hector, Orlando “Sex Kitten” Bloom as Paris, Sean Bean as Odysseus… Wankfest! |
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