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Today I bought New X-men #142, story by Grant Morrison. The cover bears the title 'Assault On Weapon Plus - 1 of 4'. It opens with a leatherclad mutant lapdancer dancing for Scott Summers aka Cyclops, trying to turn him on with her shenaniganspeak. Cyclops replies with "It's just your job to create a fantasy...you're not my girlfriend and all we're really sharing here is some weird financial transaction which is helping you through college".
I was confuzzled when I read this.
There are 21 pages of adverts in this comic. There are 22 pages of story plus the cover. One page of story is taken up with a product placement for Jack Daniels, which also appears on a later page. That leaves the advert to story ratio at 23:20 (or 1.15), counting the product placement pages as adverts. Counting the 'Previously in X-men...' page as page one, pages 5, 7, 9, 11, 13 all contain adverts - thats five times turning the page to see an advert on the right side of the comic. 16-17 is double page spread advert. 19, 21, 23, 25, 27, also have adverts, so thats another five pages of adverts on the right side of the comic, followed immediately by a 4-page block from page 29 to 32, then 35, 37 and 41 (the inside back cover) and also the back cover contain adverts. There's also an advert on the inside front cover. The product placements have wolverine on page 22 with a bottle of Jack Daniels and later we see Cyclops drinking Jack Daniels on page 33.
There are three actual double spreads devoted to story, two devoted to adverts.
Page 26 (a story page) reflects the image of page 27 beautifully, and I believe that some of this was intentional. Becky also reckons page 22 (the one with Wolverine pushing Jackie D's) also reflects the advert on page 23. The product placement is certainly intentional.
10 of the adverts were pushing an Incredible Hulk product of some sort, and they were more obtrusive than usual, being always on the right page, when they weren't on double spreads. The story is really bad, it reads like something from a summer special by some fill-in writer. It contains none of the Grant Morrisony goodness that I paid for. Also, it is pretty obvious from the story pages that they were designed to reflect the advertising; the incredible hulk reflecting a blatent product placement also reflected that angry feeling when you see such an obvious advertorial ploy.
I had to think about what Morrison is playing at here. I don't believe the man who wrote the Invisibles wants me to drink Jackie D's. Maybe he does. I prefer to think he's laying down a challenge to us not to accept this shit. And it is shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. The story is shit. The art is ok, but the bit i paid for, the bit with the story by the man whose name carries the whole New X-Men thing, was shit. Did i mention it was shit?
I'm taking this back to the shop and getting my £1.80 refunded. For £1.80 I could go buy a shot of Jack Daniels. But I'm not going to. I'm going to keep my money till next month's New X-Men and I'll buy that, and get another refund if it is shit. I encourage anyone who has bought this to do the same. And if you haven't bought it, I suggest you do, then take it back for a refund. |
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