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Apologies for the previous 'point-scoring' appearance of my previous post, Buk. That wasn't me trying to point-score, however, that was me seriously pissed off.
Taking on board the wider topic of forgiveness and redemption - but keeping Gazza in mind - I'd like to make a few points, if I can. Again, I'm not going to be as coldly analytical about this as you might like, because this is a highly emotive topic. Apologies.
There is an article here on Sheryl Kyle (ex-Gascoigne) working to raise awareness of domestic violence:
Ms Gascoigne said she had never called the police about her husband's assaults because women were told not to speak out.
She said Gascoigne would attack her for inexplicable reasons such as laughing at another man's joke or leaves blowing through the front door. "I didn't know there was anyone out there suffering like me. I would like any woman out there who is suffering to have the confidence to pick up the telephone."
The article states she was in a violent relationship with Gazza for eight years. That is one hell of a long time for someone to be unaware of their own actions.
There is an article on Gazza getting his life back on track after his alcoholism here.
The piece mentions he 'regrets' what he did to his wife, and that he went on holiday with her while recovering. But that mention of regret is it - there's nothing from Gazza himself, no expression of penitence.
And I think that's what gets me the most about this. Yes, there is obviously a place for forgiveness, and yes, these issues are never black/white, good/evil, and so on.
But I don't think I've ever seen Gazza express any kind of regret over what he did, for eight years, to someone he was meant to love. It's not scientific, but here is a Google search for 'paul gascoigne apologises' which mainly contains Rod Stewart apologising for getting Gazza drunk.
Yes, one should not rush to condemn people.
Yes, there are grey areas of 'personal choice' with people who have substance problems.
Yes, there are always several sides to a story.
And I am certainly not suggesting we should have a blanket response to all cases.
But I can't shake the feeling that, when you have beaten your wife for eight years, something more than a muttered feeling of regret is necessary for forgiveness. And as you said last page, Buk: people fuck up, people come back, people face up to what they have done,
Has Gazza? I'm not so sure. That's what makes me angry here, I think. |
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