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Barbe-quit: being an online support/discussion thang for Barbeloids trying to shed bad habits

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The Natural Way

14:13 / 16.01.03

I think the "if" thing's ridiculous, myself. As if there was any chance any of us wouldn't want to do crack! I mean....come on, guy!

Just crazy. That's crazy, guy!

15:12 / 16.01.03

Nah, in all seriousness, crack's not good. Lemmie tell yaz why.

One night I was on the pizzle with a coupla chaos magicians and a satanist and it got messy and we ended up in this underground car park in Soho with this dealer and all these craek ho's. One of said chaos magicians had a thing about black guys* and he hit on the craek dealer. The craek dealer hated queers** and so he lamped him one. Said chaos magician promptly burst into tears. Then, as if we weren't in enough trouble, these massive flourescent security guards appeared from nowhere and charged at us, bellowing with rage. From then on it went all Benny Hill Show . A high-speed pedestrian chase ensued, led by the scantily-clad craek ho's, followed by me, the other chaos magician and the satanist, followed by the freshly-bashed queer chaos magician, closely followed by the angry craek dealer**, followed in turn by the even angrier massive flourescent security guards, and we all pelted through the backstreets of Soho till we lost 'em. We were all so scared and upset and out of breath that we then had to get even more mashed 'till the tubes started up and they went home and I went into work and sat down at my desk and tried my best to behave with some degree of proficiency. And failed, quite monumentally.

And I think it is fair to say that that, boys and grrls, was, on the whole, Neither Big, Nor Clever.

* I'm not meaning to stereotype all craek dealers as black men, nor all black men as craek dealers, I'm just saying, like.
** I'm not meaning to stereotype all black men as rampant homophobes either, I'm just saying, ya?

15:20 / 16.01.03

Well, it's sort of clever ...

15:29 / 16.01.03

Admittedly it makes a good anecdote, but at the time it wasn't fun. If we'd been hurt or beaten up or nicked or sold into prostitution or summat I'd have had no sympathy for myself whatsoever. Bigger boys... (sob)... bigger boys .

16:12 / 16.01.03

The thing is, a non-smoking meet would be even harder than a non-alcoholic one, because fags go well with caffeinated drinks as well...

So what we'd need is a meet in conditions under which none of us would want to smoke. This might involve... exercise, cold temperatures which make standing around unpleasant, no alcohol, no caffeine, no smoking allowed anyway, no places to go where smoking is allowed even if it does make you look like a pariah...

... ice-skating, anyone? Might actually be quite good fun... (koff, koff)

Thing is, we'd have to carry on doing it for meetings until we felt we could go back to the pub. And that could get silly.

I'm more inclined to try a cutting down method I've tried before where I time myself, so that I start off at a heavy meet by allowing myself one fag every half hour; and if I miss the time I can't have another one until the next half-hour; and then cut it down to one an hour. There are two problems with this, though: a) it doesn't work when I'm drunk; b) I don't have a watch...

06:08 / 17.01.03

We could find one of those pubs with a non-smoking area, and just stay in it, possibly. (Or is that really lame?)

Also, it is a fact of hooman psychology that we is more visual than intellectual. (Bengali would agree, and she knows cos she did visual culture or summat). If someone could bring along photos of fucked up lungs and stuff to that meet, we'd not have that many cravings. Possibly one of our medical bretheren could get some? Or I could get some 'cos I have access to medical libraries. Really, those pics work.

06:45 / 17.01.03

actually going ice skating would be fun - lets do that anyway

06:53 / 17.01.03

I know this thread appears to be about smoking, but I have a different addiction. Food. I try incredibly hard to be rational, and then something happens (stress, job, family, all ten) and too-much unhealthy food calls to me and I can't help myself. Also, I am frightened of ice-skating, but would like to make a fool of myself anyway.

Goodness Gracious Meme

15:26 / 17.01.03

"crack hos"?

*raises eyebrows*

ice skating would be fun

Sounds good, I'd be up for dat, for sure.

Bill: Oh and you do *facts* (or say you do, anyway), not my scene, maaaaan.

But it's a bad idea, though someone, Potus' friend, I think (sorry, forgotten her name) had some canadian fags whihc *had* a picture of diseased lungs on it. And it didn't make much different to her or me.

I could bring my sis along to meets? She's a epidemiologist and has never smoked in her life, and spent the other weekend cramming me full of cheering stats about smoking and ill health. Pretty grim stuff, all of it.

How about going out for food? We could sit in the non-smoking bit of the restaurant/cafe?
The subsitution principle, give us something else to do with our hands/put in our mouths?
On the same lines, hardcore S&M?

15:59 / 17.01.03

"crack hos"?

*raises eyebrows*

Um.... sheesh... should I have said chemically-challenged-sex-workers or summat? Sorry, shan't let it happen again. (Damn, and there was me thinking I'd got through that whole post without commiting a political incorrectitude... Shoulda known better.)

But it's a bad idea, though someone, Potus' friend, I think (sorry, forgotten her name) had some canadian fags whihc *had* a picture of diseased lungs on it. And it didn't make much different to her or me.

We can look forward to them in the UK soon I'm told, heh heh heh.

you do *facts* (or say you do, anyway)

Say I do? Are you impling that the sociologist is not an objective observer of empirical reality? Why...

* splutters *

...that's practically libellous! Christ, you'll be telling me there's no facts, only interpretations next!

Goodness Gracious Meme

01:07 / 18.01.03

Okay, basid on Objective Scientific Research (going out tonite), I discover that if a club's good, I have no desire to drink.

But have every desire to smoke like a bastard.

Hmmmmmm.

09:45 / 18.01.03

I smoked last night and I wasn't even in the pub (but I was drinking). Bad Kit-Cat. Had about 5, I think, which I cadged off a friend of mine who'd bought them and then remembered that she was giving up. I think the problem was that I've smoked in her kitchen before, so it all seemed perfectly normal and not wrong.

I really hope I remembered to log out of Barbelith on my parents' computers.

Jack The Bodiless

10:34 / 18.01.03

I'd just like everyone to know that writing that last post a few days ago made me so desperate for a cigarette that I cunningly manipulated my darling girlfriend into commanding me to go to Tesco Extreme! and buy us both cigarettes. Lots of them.

And they were reeeeal gooood. I feel totally vindicated in my desire to do so, by the way. How can something that looks so cool, tastes so good and feels so right be wrong? It can't, that's how.

Modern life is designed to make you want a cigarette. How can you watch a movie without wanting a fag? You can't. I had the misfortune to watch Vanilla Sky without turning it off fifteen minutes before it finished, and no one smokes in that film. Except right at the end, in the crap denouement, when the Cruiser, all jigsaw-faced, salutes himself in the mirror, and he's got a fag in his right hand. It's such a short cut it's practically subliminal. But that made me long for a cigarette in the same way that we all know Judas longed for Jesus.

I told spooks about this, and she said "No, he didn't." She didn't see shit. I blinked, and turned to her to differ most strongly, and whatthefuck but her head had turned into a giant Marlboro Red.

See? Modern life is designed to make you want a cigarette.

Regrettable Juvenilia

11:33 / 18.01.03

You were awake all night again last night, weren't you?

17:23 / 18.01.03

have every desire to smoke like a bastard.

[PC plod]Oh, picking on the offspring of unmarried parents and associating them and them alone with a bad habit now are we?[/PC Plod]

I have had one cigarette today, but due to insomnia / majorly bad nightmares last night I have only been awake for a few hours, so it's not as impressive as it sounds. And my lungs hurt still from yesterday anyways.

03:49 / 19.01.03

Kerr-rist.

I've smoked more whilst reading this thread than I have since the last time I took Class As. Not that that's saying much, admittedly (we're talking hours rather than months here). Social panacea and slow suicide combined, mmmm...

I feel this support group thangy is kinda failing at the first wheezily negotiated hurdle.

(Also feel that I must point out the utter nonsense that is being talked about smokers and their foul stench. Uh-uh, no way. Show me a girl that smells of whisky and cigarettes and I'll show you a glimpse of immaculate paradise).

Goodness Gracious Meme

04:58 / 19.01.03

okay. that 'good club' thing works *unless* the club's Duckie. In which case I revert to four year old patterns of constant drinking and smoking. oops.

12:11 / 19.01.03

Oo-er, Bill gets serious for a sec: Yesterday I smoked a mere 9 cigs, today I have had just one.

This may well not last, but cheers for this thread, 'cos everytime I wanna light up I think about you lot and this thread and sometimes it actually helps.

For my next trick, I will be getting some exercise, not sure what yet, but I may just start saving dosh by walking some of the way to work or summat.

Regrettable Juvenilia

13:33 / 19.01.03

The thing is, this thread has mainly served to remind me that smokers are my favourite people in the world. Stale stinky ash-covered huggles to you all!

14:01 / 19.01.03

You too, you leather-lunged self-destructive atmosphere-polluting monster, you.

Rats, I've just had to have another cig. Sorry.

Goodness Gracious Meme

17:17 / 19.01.03

okay. I've come to a similar conclusion to Fly, and that i'm beginning to *enjoy* smoking again.

Bah.

Finding it immensely easy atm to sit in a pub and not drink. but not smoke? pigs/fly etc.

18:04 / 19.01.03

I'm trying see what giving up chocolate does for me and christ it's hard. Processed sugar, caffine, phynalamine, dear god what a grip they have on my brain. You don't notice it until it's gone, but I keep thinking I could really need a large dairy milk right now. Garages, newsagents, vending machines they're everywhere

.
Most embarassingly this was promted by reading an article the Daily Mail over someones shoulder on the tube and thinking, 'Hmmm fluctuations in the body's energy levels will get better after a week, hang on I do feel strangely tired and need to eat chocolate to wake me up, could this be a reason why?
So I'm trying it, well it can't be as bad as trying to kick caffine, the headaches about three days in put the kybosh on that.

Jack The Bodiless

17:33 / 20.01.03

That's it! Don't you see? Quitters don't need support groups - the whole of society takes pity on quitters!

Ladies and Gentlefolk, I have had the sterling courage of my convictions. I have continued to smoke while mounting the face of overwhelming quittiness. Screw me to your sticking place and fill my mouth with fags. I'm a believer. Couldn't leave her if I tried.

How about if we link smoking to sexuality (cf above)? Can't diss it then, can you? The Barberools won't let you! Ha HAAAA hahahahahaaaa!

Head SHOP! Head SHOP!

18:48 / 20.01.03

Lilith Myth: I know this thread appears to be about smoking, but I have a different addiction. Food.

Yeah, me too... my weight has shifted between 7 and a half and 12 and a half stone and all points inbetween, yo-yo effect, over the past few years, and I've always had an extremely fucked up relationship with food. I'm recovering from bulimia and my weight has just gone through the roof again. Eating disorders may change (I used to starve myself too, as well as the more recent laxative abuse), but what I really am is a compulsive over-eater. I plan to join London Friend's Overeaters Anonymous group...when I lose weight (oh, the irony).

10:07 / 21.01.03

J the B is right, this is getting far too sympathetic. We need a bit of humiliation. How about using this thread to publish your failures in the field? Simply state how many fags, biscuits, animals etc you will restrict yourself to over a given day or week and then list each and every fag, biscuit, badger etc you go over the limit. Would there be any benefit to that? I think it's how Weight-Watchers works - you get weighed in front of everyone, declare a target and then go back a week later to be weighed again to see how far you've fallen short, so everyone can stand round you and point and laugh.

As an added incentive we could award a prize of 200 B&H, a crate of White Lightning and a box of Black Magic to whoever goes least over their limit.

ONLY NICE THINGS

10:22 / 21.01.03

Argh - I smoked about half a dozen fags last night (which realistically means I probably smoked more), and the worst part was that, until I put in for a shared packet, none of them were mine. I'm becoming an anti-social smoker.

10:51 / 21.01.03

Someone got me Alan Carrs "'easyway' to stop smoking" for Crimbo, and I finally started reading it about a week ago. I know loads of people who have stopped smoking after reading it and part of me is really scared and part of me is loving it - and think it will work. The only thing I'm *really* worried about is becoming a holier-than-thou ex-smoker!

Jack The Bodiless

15:53 / 21.01.03

But smoking tastes like you're sucking on angel toes. Why would you want to give up?

Maybe you just haven't found your brand yet! Yes, that's it! Just keep going through all the brands of premium cigarette first, and if you don't find something that makes you cry with joy and fling your arms out in public and twirl around as if you were in a Cameron Crowe movie, step down to the cheap and nasties (you may be into rough trade. Who knows?).

Goodness Gracious Meme

16:32 / 21.01.03

none of them were mine. I'm becoming an anti-social smoker

Ha. My first week of post christmas smoking was exactly like this.

Am hoping it's a very slow giving up process, as this is exactly what I did for a year or so before finally admitting that I smoked. Hoping this is just me meeting it again on the way out....

Naaaa, I'm not convinced either.

Oh, god, and did a bit of this on Saturday as well... apologies to kit-kat/sleaze/cherry/illmatic. They seemed to be doing a 'communcal Marlborough Lights thing', which I joined in with, with great enthusiasm. Without buying any. Hmm.

None today. But then I've only just left the house. and there were none.

Whisky Priestess

16:33 / 21.01.03

And if you can't find anything to your taste in the domestic market, how about a little dalliance abroad with some Gauloises Blondes or exotic Sobranie Cocktails? Foreign fags might moisten your biscuit, after all ...

I'm so glad I'm not even thinking about giving up. Most days I don't smoke more than 10 anyway, some days (work days when I don't go out) I'm down to 5 or less. And I'm not even trying. I think it might be a bit like weird eating patterns in that respect - the less you think about it and make it a huge issue, the easier it is to go without (or use it normally).

Goodness Gracious Meme

16:49 / 21.01.03

Might well be, actually, when i'd just decided to cut down, before christmas, i was doing ok, now I'm actually thinking and talking about it, I'm all over the place, days and days without and then binges...

and if you don't like filters, try rollies, a very differnt taste, and all sorts of lovely tobaccos to try... I favour vanilla or blackcherry myself, or drum mild.... And muchos cheaper/harder to count how many yr having....

20:50 / 21.01.03

Oh, god, and did a bit of this on Saturday as well... apologies to kit-kat/sleaze/cherry/illmatic. They seemed to be doing a 'communcal Marlborough Lights thing', which I joined in with, with great enthusiasm. Without buying any. Hmm.

Oh, nonsense. We're all in this quitting thing together, right? Right.

Cough, wheeze. Had a bad weekend. Even when I went to the pub on Sunday night for a quick few with a non-smoker and another social smoker, I ended up smoking away like fury (I'll be judge, I'll be jury, said cunning old Fury - I'm trying my own cause and condemning myself to death). Though after the pub on Saturday I did hold off for the rest of the evening - probably because I'd already kippered myself so thoroughly.

But I checked my bank balance today and, oh dear, I can't carry on like this - something's got to go and perhaps a tenner a weekend on fagz is going to be it (did someone say 'fat chance'?).

10:30 / 22.01.03

Oh god. I've mixed my baccy with a herbal mixture from the health shop. Sound like a great idea, dunnit? Well it's not, 'cos I've already smoked three today and it's not even fucking lunchtime. The horror really being that I know I feel sooooo much better having smoked them. (I have a feeling that we should detail exactly why we smoke, to ourselves or everyone, before seriously trying to give up. My problem is that nicotine (IMHO) has a slightly stimulant effect when I'm feeling all shite from a bad, nightmare-ridden night. I used to drink to alleviate tiredness too, which is part of the reason I've stopped.)

Anyway, I'm doing crap. I will however punish myself by not allowing myself the visit to the Games Workshop which I've been trying to bribe myself with...

Jack The Bodiless

21:08 / 22.01.03

Is all my stoopid ranting being in vain?!

You are all NOT doing 'badly'. You are all doing WELL! Do you not see? Not you see do? You do see not?

See how I help you!

11:05 / 23.01.03

Jack you're a bad man

.
Wow I've managed to stray somewhat as well, not with chocolate but instead with a large bag of harribo, once again with the feeling tired/depressed. Wonderful what a large bag of processed sugar can do for you, lets see how long I last now, ho hum.
Are there any stimulants that are actually not 'bad' for you? Gurana perhaps?

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