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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

Wife swap (ch4)

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20:16 / 21.10.03

God, with you all the way, there. Jude seemed so delighted to be out from under the yoke of oppression - "I can go out on a Friday night!" - but by the final frame... she's insane. Those kids must be got out of that house now.

Don't give much for that rabbit's chance of survival...

20:34 / 21.10.03

Rabbit dirt-ee.

By the end, I was actually feeling sorry for Roy. I suspect Jude had taken advantage of some of his own can-never-be-good-enough hang-ups to manipulate him into the Victorian Dad role, casting herself as oppressed victim. Her violent reaction to the mere idea of Animals! In! The! Kitchen! Where! Food! Is! Prepared! made me think she was quite seriously obsessive-compulsive, buttoned up tight, with a pathological fear of contamination, disorder, misrule, mess - and she was much happier with a male authoritarian figure as notional Tyrant in control of her and her children.

(Wondered whether Roy was raised by robots. In a box.)

The Libertines' children were pretty badly-behaved, but Jude seemed to have little or no instinctive understanding of when to back out of an argument. When Crying Daughter ran out of the house pursued by Childish Dad and Jude ran after him shouting "RESPECT MY AUTHORITAA, CHILD!", Xoc and I rose as one and screamed "GET TO FUCK, NAZI BITCHTROLL!!" at the television set.

It was a high expressed-emotion moment.

20:53 / 21.10.03

It'd be interesting to know about Roy's background; he clearly was uncomfortable about anything happening to him personally, or acheivment being celebrated; I was quite touched by Belinda's explanation to him that he hadn't failed, just tried, and I think he was buoyed by the fact she wanted him to try things rather than get everything right all the time.

Big family? Raised by robots? By masochists?

I honestly dread to think what Roy and Jude's quality time consisted of. At a guess:

spanking.

21:52 / 21.10.03

Can't imagine Jude letting Roy have any fun. They did at least cave in after the experiment on letting the kids keep pets in the house but you suspected Jude sprayed them with disinfectant every half an hour.

I was surprised to find myself cheering when the stroppy teenage daughter turned on Jude. Not a big fan of stroppy kids all told but I had great respect for her furious stand against the madness of this anally retentive woman rewriting the script of her young life.

Roy, the militaristic dad, I felt a lot of sympathy for. As Paleface said, it seemed to be news to him that his borrowed wife wasn't condemning him automatically and was praising him for trying a difficult new thing, not expecting him to excel at it (even if the thing was interacting with his kids.)

10:15 / 22.10.03

Xoc: "They did at least cave in after the experiment on letting the kids keep pets in the house but you suspected Jude sprayed them with disinfectant every half an hour."

Right! And they were DWARF HAMSTERS! Very big of them when you think the kids could have got a stick insect or a pet flea.

First time I'd watched this show. People are insane.

11:11 / 22.10.03

Good fucking god! Jude's rules, at least the ones we were privy to, did nothing but reinforce her own personal lunacy, and were inevitably entirely destructive.

As much as I warmed to Belinda, the vegetable line had me shouting at the telly.

People are truly bloody weird.

11:14 / 22.10.03

It must be such hard work being Jude. Imagine trying to enforce a...l...l t...h...a...t c...o...n...t...r...o...l nnnnnnnggggghhhhh.

11:27 / 22.10.03

I liked the way Jude seemed to change from the "I feel quite... frivolous" mood to the utterly psychotic mood in very little time indeed. It all seemed to have been triggered by that one hangover which she had after the party, at which all was smiles and joy and silly dancing -and then there were the morning after shots where she mentioned repeatedly that she hated their lifestyle and that everything was disgusting and that there were going to be hella changes around here. In all, she didn't seem to be coping too well with the headache / sore stomach combination.

As much as I warmed to Belinda, the vegetable line had me shouting at the telly.

No matter how people may appear while the swap is actually in progress, they will always flip out when they realise that things have been done differently in their house for the last ten days. "Fine then. Go. Lose the argument." and so forth...

14:09 / 22.10.03

No matter how people may appear while the swap is actually in progress, they will always flip out when they realise that things have been done differently in their house for the last ten days.

Yes, but what an incredible detail with which to commence said flip. Her words, "you evil cow," almost certainly have their roots in some rather bizarre personal hang-ups.

I sure there were many Jude moments in the first week that were simply left on the cutting room floor. Her sudden turn had more to do with story production than reality, imo.

15:36 / 22.10.03

Why would anyone volunteer for this show? Do you think they've discussed it and thought:
"our family dynamics suck, let's experiment with them and do it in front of a viewing audience of millions"
or do you think they're going:
"I want people to see how fabulous we are and what a pretty house and lifestyle and perfectly behaved children we have so the world will take us as a template..."

I think both couples this week thought the latter and that was why it was such great tv.

Tryphena Absent

22:56 / 23.10.03

I think you've all done Belinda a disservice... she was clearly made to eat vegetables as a child and didn't make her kids eat them as a reaction to her own treatment. I wasn't so big on the completely open bedtime thing, I enjoyed rebelling against my parents and leaving the light on to read for hours when I was young and kids need some kind of structure. I found Jude abhorrent though- when she was arguing with Mary she couldn't let it go, an adult following another person's child to continue squabbling! Elder my arse.

22:59 / 23.10.03

I wondered if Belinda had, in her own childhood, been a victim of vegetable-based projectile abuse...

04:04 / 24.10.03

lavcanoprojection?

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08:36 / 24.10.03

Ah, Shit! I hate not having a net connection at home, my fingers have been itching to get into this one since the first ad break, and now I come here and find Ganesh has wrapped up all I had to say about Jude in two succinct and spot on posts. Appreciate Bobossboy's point that the switcharound was a bit dramatic, and narrative imperative maybe took hold, but the hangover can't be denied.

Cut that rug to shreds sister!

Loved the way the sympathies were shifted between participants in almost every new segment...Belinda did kind of trip at the final hurdle (editing aside).

Pathos moment of the year?

Poor uptight dude, Jude the General's own personal pet drill instructor, and Senior Management for the Civil Service, bemoaning the fact that there is no simple Open University Guide to Parenting he can pass with a healthy B+, appealing to the general public with a tear in his eye :

"Please...If anyone has a manual, or a training course..." without a hint of irony.

A manual. A training course. An instructional management weekend on how to enjoy seeing children express their creativity and enjoy themselves.

Man, I thought I was fucked up. I was Deeply Moved to discover that however fucked up I may be, I'm the right kind of fucked up.

Happy Days!

(This program must run and run)

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08:45 / 24.10.03

Incidentally, has anyone seen "The Game", David Fincher movie with Michael Douglas?

I found myself about 3 days and all kinds of atrocities and uprisings into designing one for Jude and Uptight Drill Instructor Man after about 15 minutes of watching.

We could start with something simple...A fire sweeps through their home while they are out, and it burns to the ground. Then they break down on their way to the rellies to stay...They trudge to a sttrange local hotel, where Strange Things are Clearly Afoot. The tea making facilities in their rooms are spiked with acid. Animals are set loose in the corridors, antelope and mongeese frolic with the room service dwarves.

Aaaahh....Chaos....

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08:47 / 24.10.03

Ooh, ooh, one last thing b4 I go...

Gagging for some background info on Jude's previous marriage...Who left who? Circumstances?

Questions, questions

10:15 / 24.10.03

Money $hot:

"Man, I thought I was fucked up. I was Deeply Moved to discover that however fucked up I may be, I'm the right kind of fucked up"

Ha, we'll be the judge of that! Prove it to us - go on the telly.

10:59 / 24.10.03

While I'm here: regarding the desperate plea for a manual, I can totally sympathise. You don't even have to read this thread to know that every c--- in the world is an expert on kids, and that the truth in every one of the 6 billion opinions expressed on the matter every second is "bleeding obvious". This can be pretty distressing to anyone who is prepared to admit that they haven't a clue about such things themselves and who actually takes the things that other people say seriously, so at least a definitive, unquestionable manual blessed by the Queen and the Pope and a Very Famous Scientist would ensure some sort of bloody consistency, or better yet, get everyone to shut the f--- up about it for fear of being wrong and thus incurring a poke up the arse with a spear by an Official Government Childcare Expert. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea.

15:12 / 24.10.03

Whilst I don't claim to have a manual, I don't think I'm being too opinionated when I suggest that a few veggies never did anyone any harm. Surely it's the way food is pushed on kids that has the potential to do damage?

Regardless, it's not so much that Belinda freaked out at the treatment of her child that worries me, rather, it's that she responded so negatively to that particular issue. Put simply, I'm concerned that Belinda has an irrational hatred of vegetables.

21:45 / 24.10.03

i thought it was hilarious when belinda was introducing her rules:

"this week i want you to leave the office at home"

camera pans left to roy dutifully taking notes

09:17 / 25.10.03

I'm not sure it was an irrational hatred of veg. More that this was the last straw. You get the feeling OCD lady would have been happier with the kids in hutches in the garden. This, after all, is what her kids bedrooms are like. Those inspections were more reminiscent of a military prison than anything else.
Keep pets in the garden? What? Uh? Someone who doesn't even get the concept of pets like this surely can't even begin to get the concept of kids. What did she do when she was changing her kids nappies? Have a small shed with an airlock to prevent contamination, I'd guess.
Aaaarrrgh. After the Waynetta episode, it was lovely to see Belinda. Despite the late bedtimes, she really loved her kids and pets and husband. Note the differences in the reunions. OCD lady RUNS in a panic of Penelope Pitstop proportions. Belinda walks slowly and calmly, knowing her husband isn't going anywhere.
Oh, and equating walking away as losing... Brrrrrrrrr...

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11:36 / 27.10.03

Oi, oi Saveloy

The more you think about a poke up the arse by An Official Government Childcare Expert, the more you like the idea?

Never mind going on telly, you should have your own Series!

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11:37 / 27.10.03

/ droll

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15:20 / 27.10.03

Saveloy : Surely my inherent repulsion at the whole concept and notion of parading myself around a program such as this one, in a vainglorious attempt to broadcast fuck-knows-what about myself to fuck-knows-who is a fairly solid indication of the Right Kind of Fucked Up??

I mean, at least I have the dignity and sense to be Fucked Up in private...

Anyhoo, I meant the right kind of fucked up for me.

Drill Instructor Dude and his Terrifying Wife were clearly miserable with their madness. It was not keeping them sane.

15:34 / 27.10.03

Nope, I'm afraid it's not solid enough, indication-wise. There could be all manner of ways in which you are fucked up that have nothing to do with all that stuff you mention above. Hmm, the fact that you are happy with your fucked-upness sounds doubly dodgy to me. We need to see you in action!

19:35 / 28.10.03

Hmmm... this week's is shaping up as Tactless 'Come Dancing' Woman versus Utterly Useless Scouse Alcoholic...

19:55 / 28.10.03

Morals of this week's:

Men are shit.

Teenage boys should be kept in cages (pace Germaine).

I must never visit Liverpool because the locals' inability to pronounce the letters c and k (or both together), like the Florentine dialect of Italian, would drive me to impale someone on a pike (or pie-kh) within a few hours.

You can't play darts or stand in goal when you have the DT's threatening.

20:03 / 28.10.03

And don't forget to take your kids on a pichhhhh-nichhhhhhhh now and again.

Still, it was encouraging in a non-carcrash way to see the women directing their criticism in the right direction for once, rather than each other. Something of a 'Sisters! Solidarity!' feel to this one.

21:04 / 28.10.03

Yeah - kind of liked the sisterly solidarity. Kevin, or whatever his name was: useless. Entirely aggravated by any suggestion that Aran was a "young man" or "young adult". The point about him being a "young seventeen" was spot on... and "young seventeen what shags" doesn't really help the situation. Gosh, I sound awfully middle-class, but I hated that child.

Second place in great bits: "I'm weak because I have a successful business, I'm weak because I have a nice car, I'm weak because I live in this house" (and first place in the "missing the point" competition).

Greatest line, though, was that wonderful aside to camera:

"Well, football may be there tomorrow, but his wife might not be".

21:24 / 28.10.03

I liked Nigel's "do I look like a loser?" - which resonated slightly with IDS's wholly laughable 'do not underestimate the quiet man' speech of yestermonth.

Would've suspected Steve had shaved off his comedy Scouser curly perm only moments before the show - but this would've indicated a glimmer of insight. How I laughed when he was tricked into attending a surprise job interview...

06:59 / 29.10.03

Aran was vile - "I just don't like being treated like I'm fifteen, you know?" was quotation of the week though...

Loved the face-off at the end, which rather than ending in pointless squabbling, ended with "I think that we're similar because we've both got useless husbands" "Yes, correct" or some such converation, followed by a cut to the glazed, bored expressions of aforementioned husbands. Brilliant...

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08:55 / 30.10.03

No, sorry, bring back the car-crash couplings, please.

All this solidarity makes me feel icky. We want raised voices and ignorance parades, not weary resignation and deep sighs. It does not good telly make /yoda

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08:56 / 30.10.03

No, sorry, bring back the car-crash couplings, please.

All this solidarity makes me feel icky. We want raised voices and ignorance parades, not weary resignation and deep sighs. It does not good telly make /yoda

Tryphena Absent

09:17 / 30.10.03

I didn't really mind Aaron or Aran or whatever his name was. He was just a rebellious teenager and he did help his mum with breakfast eventually. Actually I quite liked all of them, nice to see some women with their minions... sorry, I mean husbands well in hand.

09:28 / 30.10.03

I found this weeks strangly reassuring as I was beginning to think this country was still mired in the dark ages of class seperation.
off-topic slightly have you seen the trailers for "Holiday Showdown", basically wife swap on a beach, should be worth a peek!

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