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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

Wife swap (ch4)

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hanabius yamamura

20:01 / 07.01.03

just finished watching WIFE SWAP on channel 4 ...

did anyone see it ?

OH ... MY ... GOD ...

it always amazes me why startlingly dysfunctional people / families sign up for these programmes and then proceed to make utter arse-holes of themselves on national tv ... why do they do it ? some sad need for national attention ?

also , as my wife is pointing out as she reads over my shoulder , some of these people are FAR more dysfunctional than others ... especially on this programme ...

20:20 / 07.01.03

I'm still at work and haven't seen this - although the trailers were intriguing ("I didn't know they made women that useless" or whatever). What were the high/low points for you, HanaBi?

hanabius yamamura

20:37 / 07.01.03

high points for me / low points for the 'stars' ...

a. the scene in which ?carole (nicknamed 'slim' due to her somewhat chunky stature) sits in a chair and looks utterly glazed - not only are the lights not on but the bulb has blown ...

b. the same woman utters the line 'Now you're being hitler. And hitler died'.

c. a daughter who says 'fuck' with every breath and would seem to share the light-bulb difficulty of her mother ... at one point her dad called her 'a cess-pit' !!!

20:44 / 07.01.03

Fascinating. I was more concerned about the effect on the kids in both families rather than on the parents, who had presumably their own very strange reasons for volunteering themselves.

I was particularly uneasy about showing the tantrums of the (admittedly motormouthed) teenage girl over whom Dave had no control until Sonia stiffened his resolve. Odd that an 18 year old girl would have a bedroom stuffed to the ceiling with fluffy toys but having a woman who's a virtual stranger making such a huge and sudden change in the girl's private space felt wrong to me. Good tv though, all of it, uncomfortable as it was.

It felt like a more audacious development of "reality" shows in subjecting an entire family to an impostor in place of a wife and mother for a fortnight. I found myself being quite shocked when Lance's choice of method to keep the kids in line was summarily reversed by Dee, who had been involved in their lives as a family for a whole week by then. On the other hand, if I'd been Dee, I'd have put valium in his tea and smoked all his hash while he snored. Or strangled the narcissistic eejit whilst he slept.

I wonder to what extent Lance and Dee, who both came over very unpleasantly, were edited into that shape. And the racism was interestingly played. Lots of different attitudes to skin pigment on display.

hanabius yamamura

20:51 / 07.01.03

Dee! That was her name ...

i agree with your comment , xoc , that the racism was interestingly played . i was very careful whilst typing my initial remarks not too fall into any unwitting racist stereo-typing that i feel could have been ?encouraged by ???the editing of the programme ...

22:07 / 07.01.03

I watched this with Snapping Turtle... compulsive viewing, by turns hilarious, shocking and uncomfortable.

Things I found interesting:

- That the chubby husband (whatever his name was) seemed to undergo major changes throughout. Sonia seemed to bring him right out of his shell. Whether he's been permanently changed, or how much was just sleight of hand by the program makers is impossible to tell.

- Dee objecting to the concept of grounding, then changing her mind in the final reel when she grounded her own daughter, informing her in no uncertain terms that she'll be confined to her room much more in future. She reacted to her husband at their reunion when the other couple were present, then side with him as soon as they'd come home (she must have seen the light when she witnessed the transformation of the living room. Either that or it was simply down to pride).

- The dynamics of the relationships. Lance was not interested in having a different relationship with Dee: he wanted a carbon copy of Sonia. On the other hand, Sonia was extremely successful at changing the entire household in her short stay, from its layout to the balance of power among family members.

More on this later.

yawn - thing's buddy

07:35 / 08.01.03

and fat dad looked like Simon Weston.

10:38 / 08.01.03

Without the Crispy Tits.

13:16 / 08.01.03

wow, I love that you Brits come up with this crass exploitive tv so much faster than even we americans. there's got to be a sociological study in there somewhere.

I eagerly await the Americanized version of Wife Swap....

No star here laces

14:21 / 08.01.03

it's because our Punk Generation (TM) are older than yours and are now all in charge of TV stations (at least according to my boss). What joy.

"He'll grow up to be just about the nicest black man ever"

14:36 / 08.01.03

It was shocking wasn't it - makes me give up hope on the human race...

One of the last quotes "Oh I better go and paint myself black, where's the boot polish"

Oh yeah and her other classic detective work after looking in the fridge when she first moved in.

"These people aren't British they have Coconut cream"

Fucking hell.

I liked the fact that the Dee thought she knew your husband so well she thought he wouldn't be enjoying himself because Sonia was black but it seemed that he enjoyed himself much more than she did, he seemed to make much more of an effert than both in the other house.

Next weeks seems to be your hardcore "A Womans place is in the Kitchen" type.

01:08 / 09.01.03

Keep in mind that at the beginning of the show Dee made very sure to say that she is not racist.
You have to wonder why she feels mixed marriages are wrong, maybe it is something to do with ill-discplined ignorant and lazy people, and the way blacks might challenge them.

I was fascinated when Dee explained how good a parent she is since she very rarely (if ever) disciplined her children. Honestly, you couldn't make this stuff up.

yawn - thing's buddy

07:18 / 09.01.03

I was interested in how Dee was portrayed as a villain.

Sonia was the only sensible adult in the show.

Be funny if fat dad toddled off down to yon 'soul' club every week from now on.

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

10:36 / 09.01.03

"He'll grow up to be just about the nicest black man ever"

Ouuuchhh!

This and the boot polish remark were so wince making, and completely revealing, I'm still smarting.

I've never sent so many text messages in my life.

Caucasian mutants, all apart from the eldest daughter who emerged from the dit remarkably intact.

And the descent of the dialogue betweeen the black husband and the rotund automoaton from initial trepidation down to constant, relaxed-stoned abuse and character assassination was all the more piquant because, under any other circumstances, with any other pairing, the guy would surely have come off as an arrogant, chauvinist prick.

In actual fact he came across as Lenny Bruce. Wyrd.

19:42 / 14.01.03

"CA-RUHL! CA-RUHL! THIS ARSE WON'T WIPE ITSELF, CA-RUHL!"

Is anyone else watching right now? Is anyone else fantasising putting a bullet in useless, pointless Barry - and his shitey poodle?

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

19:50 / 14.01.03

Oh shit, I'm still at effing work!

There's a repeat on Sunday night, btw, for those who are missing it now.

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

19:53 / 14.01.03

Having seen the repeat Sunday gone (again) and since no one else seems to have mentioned it from last time, I just had to bring up the favourite all time quote from large, rotund Dad to obnoxious, tearaway daughter.

"You are a CESS PIT, child!"

20:03 / 14.01.03

Okay, so the somewhat genetically-loaded Michelle - with her presumably industrial-strength (unacknowledged) Martyr Complex - is fully deserving of her infantile husband...

hanabius yamamura

20:43 / 14.01.03

personal fave quote of this week was barry , suave sophiscate feminist , explaining (apologies if not word-perfect,the gist is right though):

'this is what i do ... i relax and enjoy myself ... going to the gymnasium, the racetrack, the dogs ... it's my job '

that and, as ganesh has wonderfully said already, shouting 'ca-ruhl'

utterly compulsive tv ...

20:56 / 14.01.03

There was one ray of sunshine tonight when obnoxious Barry's stepson became Billy Eliot, going to his fantasy Mum's drama class and turning into a swan.

But what did he mean when he told Carol that the way to manage his stepdad was "to keep one foot on the floor"? Keeping one foot in his mouth and the other on his scrotum be a better plan.

Again, the dynamics as the couples give feeback in one big foursome in an epilogue were fascinating. Barry's wife's previous despondency about her challenging marriage to the world's least enticing (and mouthiest) gym bunny was entirely transmuted into insulting her replacement's kitchen habits.

Car crash television indeed. Unmissable.

Goodness Gracious Meme

21:12 / 14.01.03

Hooked. Michelle beaming on their anniversary as she makes him admit that he loves her.

Fascinating dialogue snippet: carol repeating over and over 'you said those three little words, you actually said you love me' while underneath, Barry keeps trying to say 'but, I ... erm, but', sounding hugely like he's a bit shocked by the effect those three little words have had and wants to undo them a bit...

21:24 / 14.01.03

Indeed. From the look on his face, it'd probably be more accurate to call it a fucking carrot...

21:43 / 14.01.03

The ol' Jerry Springer Feuding Women Effect came into play, though, didn't it? No matter how obnoxious the husband, no matter how angry she is with him, that anger switches direction like that to focus, with savage precision, on the other female in the equation.

"I 'ad to rip into 'er, Barry. She were a lazy cunt."

Niiiice.

21:33 / 01.10.03

*bump*

Did anyone else see the first in the new series last night, followed by 'Wife Swap Changed Our Marriage' (following up the couples in the first series)?

The second series of 'Wife Swap' kicked off with Nicola (wealthy in financial and lip-gloss terms, poor in husband participation) changing places with Jayne (cash-poor but lovely 'family man' husband) - the extra twist this time being, husbands Jason and Dave were brothers...

For 'Wife Swap', it was oddly uplifting stuff rather than just car-crash. Nice that both partners in the 'rich' couple seemed to process and shift their respective viewpoints simultaneously - so he managed to apologise and promise to change just as she insisted he apologise and promise to change. I kinda hoped sweetie Dave was reimbursed for blowing the family's £50 Butlins spending money on a single night out with Nicola.

'Wife Swap Changed Our Marriage' was also strangely upbeat, even redemptive. The fat, vaguely Downs Syndromesque family seemed to have raised their game (although I'm a little suspicious that the family meetings and 'dance mat' were rolled out for the cameras), and I was particularly impressed by Mary, the "cesspit" child, having been sufficiently shocked by her onscreen behaviour to reevaluate her racist comments to Sonia.

The only couple who didn't seem to have learned much from the experience were Barry (the deeply unloveable 'professional gambler', thankfully sans poodle) and Michelle. Their relationship just struck me as fucked up in that, some days, the two of them appeared to really get off on arguing, and other times they looked like they were both hurt and drifting. I liked the fact that they'd temporarily relocated to a guest house fifty-odd miles up the coast "to see the world", but wondered (as I did in the original programme itself) how they were managing to support themselves. Michelle reminded me of the women I used to see post-overdose, who'd weep bitterly and describe a catalogue of abuse, neglect and loveless relationships - then, when the partner appeared on the ward, beam dazzlingly, fall into his arms and waltz off, apparently quite happily, into the sunset.

In general, though, almost everyone was more sympathetic the second time around.

09:25 / 02.10.03

Yep, saw it, and it was as compellingly-I-really-shouldn't-be-watching-this as ever. Smashing.

But was it just me, or was there a slight disparity between Mary's "And I saw myself on TV and I thought 'you're EIGHTEEN'" and the fact she was lying atop a huge pile of soft toys as she told us this ? I wasn't entirely convinced she was sincere about putting aside childish things (by which I include bigotry and the like)...

09:31 / 02.10.03

Well, I thought it impressive that she'd be insightful enough even to fake contrition.

hanabius yamamura

11:51 / 02.10.03

... saw the trailer for next week's episode last night (airing 07.10.03, i think) ...POSSIBLE SPOILER???

looks like a corker ...

one of the families has 8 children ( 4 of them under 5 ) and gets £37,000 worth of benefits a year ... and then there's their mother who apparently throws a massive wobbler and starts thinking that her husband is going to run off with the other wife

12:30 / 02.10.03

Mmm. Sounds kinda Wayne and Waynetta...

hanabius yamamura

12:38 / 02.10.03

... i think HEAT describes it as such ... they also describe the other family as 'aspirational' ???

22:10 / 07.10.03

Well, tonight's showing didn't disappoint: an intimate study of warring c***s.

Not so much Wayne and Waynetta as FaintlySexyInARoughAsFuckWayAdidasBloke and Waynetta - meet the Aspirational Couple (who, with even an awayday in Selfawaria under their belt, would describe themselves as 'aspirational'?) Despite her severe & chronic asthma ("Ooh, Dr Emma in the house") and delightful hacking cough, Waynetta did indeed spend much of her screen time smoking. a. faaag.

I liked the way this one confounded my expectations and increasingly subverted the whole 'Wife Swap' structure: early scenes of Aspirational Woman weeping in the kitchen (aaah, poor cow, how's she gonna manage eight kids?) gained an extra level of intrigue when Waynetta's mother, sisters and neighbours all testified that, in fact, she'd never knowingly ironed, and Adidas Bloke did the lion's share of, well, everything. I was quite touched when Aspirational Woman rallied and managed to cook a decent meal for nine...

... but this week's biggest car-crash had to be Waynetta's near-psychotic breakdown from early 'I'm determined to last the ten days' promise to full-blown pathological jealousy. It's sometimes difficult to get a sense of time passing in 'Wife Swap', so I was kinda surprised when what seemed like an eternity of paranoid fag-puffing turned out to be three measly days.

In a way, I actually felt quite sorry for poor old Waynetta. Clearly a fairly 'uncomplicated' organism (I loved both her Joycore Hairpiece and her deliciously disloyal mother), she was utterly unable to survive the raging insecurity of leaving her more attractive husband in the scarlet-taloned clutches of that brazen marriage-wrecker, Aspirational Woman. I suspect the Othello Syndrome was just the last straw, really, and she was suffering from a more generalised system-shock.

Ripping stuff, though.

(Class. Obviously.)

Foust is SO authentic

01:46 / 08.10.03

Wow. I could move to the UK for this. This thread is making me laugh out loud; the show itself must be truly priceless.

04:34 / 08.10.03

It's worth a transatlantic move, Foust, honestly.

08:09 / 08.10.03

This is the best show on telly.

That was an utter fucking train wreck, wasn't it? Seeing poor old Waynetta becoming increasingly unhinged, her sofa day of brooding jealously and existential angst.

"She has everything... and I have nothing..."

My favourite part:

"Where's Emma now?"

"She's by the back door crying." Narrated down the telephone to Waynetta by her real husband while Emma stands within earshot, about two metres away.

09:40 / 08.10.03

I was surprised to hear it had only lasted for three days as well. The highlight was surely the classic "I'm a fucking man of the fucking... whatever, I'll fucking mop the floor, I'll fucking do the ironing..." [and so on, listing more household tasks in exactly the same way].

This programme is such a guilty pleasure. Would anyone believe me if I said I only watch it because my flatmates do?

hanabius yamamura

09:41 / 08.10.03

... seth, couldn't agree with you more re 'she's by the back door crying' moment - how i laughed with hilarity and horror

... also a memorable quote, spoken by waynetta at their night out (during which colin didn't appear to be eating much - just drinking ... understandably, i thought):

'd'you like bein' a joey?'

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