Mmm. This thread's been nagging away in my peripheral vision for some time now - and, oddly enough, 'mild irritant' is probably how I'd describe my reaction to pejorative uses of the word 'gay'.
Why does it irritate? Well, this is a little harder to articulate but I think it's because, personally, it's my 'label of choice' in those monotonous but somehow inevitable social situations where I'm put in the position of having to correct the person I'm talking to, who, failing to pick up on more subtle conversational cues (such as the use of 'partner'), has assumed that I am straight. Always a moment of awkwardness, but I've found that a brief "I'm gay, actually, so..." and immediately moving on minimises the discomfort for all concerned. Describing myself as a 'poof' is fine amongst those with whom I already enjoy a certain level of banter, but 'homosexual', whether adjective or (incorrect) noun, is overly clinical and sounds unwieldy coming from myself. 'Queer' is okay with a certain age-group but open to misinterpretation.
So... for me, 'gay' has been the most socially-neutral term to use in uncertain company, in that it conveys meaning efficiently with a minimum of flippancy or overt 'agenda'. For me, it's been a valuable descriptor, and this is perhaps why it irks me to see its use generalised to mean 'weak', 'pathetic', 'feeble', etc. Additionally, this particular usage appears to hark back to the timeworn misconception/cliche that the 'gay' male is the one doing the 'taking', the passive receptacle, the 'woman'. Fucking is what the man does; fucking is strong, powerful, hetero. It's allowing yourself to be fucked which is 'gay'.
This is a stereotypical - and, to my mind, regressive - view of sexuality. It depresses me that the rising use of pejorative 'gay' seems, whether by accident or (IMHO more likely) unconscious association, to feed into it.
On the subject of pejorative 'gay' becoming more widespread while society becomes generally more accepting of (some types of) homosexuality, one might speculate that greater exposure to gay archetypes (if not hugely greater understanding of the complexities of gay identity) has led to greater usage of the word 'gay'. This may be analogous with the use of 'schizo' as a term of playground abuse: despite a greater awareness of mental health issues in general, specific knowledge of types or subsets of mental illness is still poor, and studded with misconceptions, superstitions and urban myths. Hence we know that mental illness has a high prevalence within our society but it's still Other, and we reassure ourselves by making 'schizo' a term of exclusion.
I think it's a little naive to suggest that, if one is concerned with the use of potentially stigmatising terms, one is somehow missing or being diverted from the 'real' problem - societal homophobia, etc. From my reading of studies on stigma (there were many of these carried out around the 'political correctness' debate), it appears that the minority groups in question were sensitive to the 'hot' pejoratives in question, and their use was connected to how assertive or visible individuals would be in mixed company. All common sense, really: if I've just met a group of strangers and they're using 'gay' to mean 'weak' I'm much more inclined to batten down the conversational hatches and stay firmly in the closet. Naturally, there are a load of modifying or mitigating factors around this: the word 'Paki', say, is more forgivable coming from my dementing 97-year-old grandmother than from the President of the most powerful nation on Earth...
On Barbelith, I tend to assume (perhaps mistakenly) that posters have a certain level of cultural sophistication, and are aware of such linguistic nuances. This implies a greater awareness of the potential degree of offence caused - but whether or not one should necessarily avoid causing offence is a moot point. It's faintly depressing, however, when Barbelith posters adopt the same no-brainer terms of abuse as everyone else (although I'm uncertain exactly why I expect them to do otherwise). 'Pansy' annoyed me, and 'homo' annoys me, just as their casual usage would piss me off In Real Life.
Anyway. I'm not sure if that advances any particular argument but there y'go. |
