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Moby Attacked!

 
  

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Matthew Fluxington
18:20 / 12.12.02
Do Eminem and Videodrome have alibis?

Seriously, that's one way to prove that yr hard, eh? Jumping a skinny Christian vegan pacifist with a few of your buddies after he signs some autographs. The mace seems a little over the top, don't ya think?

Poor guy.
 
 
videodrome
18:59 / 12.12.02
Despite the fact that I loathe the guy, this is fucking weak.

The Paradise is right down the street from B.U., so put yer typical meathead BU male together with some beer and something like this was bound to happen.

Me, I'm generally of the "let's ignore him and hope he goes away" mindest with respect to him.
 
 
rizla mission
15:24 / 13.12.02
'Bout bloody time.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
15:44 / 13.12.02
Oh come on, Rizla. That's just callous. He's an innocent, defenseless guy who got beaten up for no good reason. There's no excuse for that kind of shit.
 
 
rizla mission
16:13 / 13.12.02
I can't figure out whether I'm being entirely serious or not..

..but after six months of bits of 'Play' trying to numb my head from every electrical device I think I'd take the bastard axe to the fucker if he came round my house..

..well, y'know, not really, you're right of course. But if these people were planning to duff up a music star, I really don't think they could have picked anyone better..

I'm going all Knodger here aren't I? better stop..
 
 
rizla mission
16:16 / 13.12.02
Actually, yeah, I'm being really nasty aren't I?

Blame television for blurring the boundaries between real and imaginary violence.. preparing to shuffle off in embarrassment..
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
16:46 / 13.12.02
I always thought that, regardless of whether you liked his music or not, Moby would be an interesting person to have on the board.
 
 
bjacques
17:04 / 13.12.02
I think he should have been captured, have invocations to Pan written on him with a Magic Marker, snapped with a webcam, then set loose unharmed. But that takes planning. I hope they catch those guys.
 
 
that
17:56 / 13.12.02
Moby. Queer-positive. Vegan. Writes the occasional pretty piece of music - I've liked some of his stuff, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Wrote the most miserable song ever - 'When it's cold I'd like to die'. Had another risky go at punk after he became famous for dance music. None of these are bad things, surely? So, he sold every single song off 'Play' for advertising/film purposes, but I bet he gave a decent chunk of that cash to good causes. I like Moby, I'd love to have him on the board, and I think it's incredibly shitty that he got beaten up.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
18:19 / 13.12.02
I always thought that, regardless of whether you liked his music or not, Moby would be an interesting person to have on the board.

Why?
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
18:26 / 13.12.02
I think Moby would fit in rather well here too - in many ways, his beliefs, personality, and ideals square up nicely with the general Barbelith spirit; and when his ideas don't, I think he'd be able to articulate why he feels differently in an interesting way. I'm not a fan of Moby's music at all (though I do like "We Are All Made Of Stars"), but I tend to think of him as a friendly, smart, and amiable guy. He may be a lot more sympathetic to the corporate status quo than I'll ever be, but he does seem okay by me.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
19:25 / 13.12.02
I can't stand the man's music. Dull, dull, dull. Not sure that I'd beat him up for it, though. Maybe just cuff his ears. "Naughty Moby. Write out one hundred lines. 'Must try harder.'"

The advertising thing gets on my tits even more since he said that he wasn't going to allow anyone to use anything from the last album for advertising purposes after the stick he - quite rightly - got last time. Really stuck to his guns on that one...
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
20:13 / 13.12.02
C'mon. If some skinny earnest musician has to be beaten up by street thugs, can't we all agree that it should've been Conor Oberst instead?

Guys?
 
 
_pin
20:28 / 13.12.02
God, I wish celebrities were fictional... this shit would be so much more fun to enjoy if they were fictional... But not in a Gorillaz way, alright?

And I quite like Conor Oberst. If only because I can't wait for him to start getting hair in funny places so no one likes him anymore. And God probablly has a tally chart of all the times he's said "This one's for my favourite imaginary girlfriend" and, when he's readched 20 or something, he'll totally kick his lilly lil' arse.

And what about Ryan "go eat bugs and stop bothering me" Adams? All together now- "Summer of '69!"
 
 
Murray Hamhandler
21:08 / 13.12.02
Yeah. People getting beaten up is funny. How about "Which pop princess should be brutally raped?" next? That'd be a gasser...

C'mon, people. Gather thy wits about thee. No one should incur violence for making what one considers bad music. And nor should the notion be perpetuated, as there are obviously folks out there who are willing to do just that...

That said, I never knew there was such rabid anti-Moby sentiment out there. I can think of many, many other people much more worthy of ire.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
21:13 / 13.12.02
Like Conor Oberst, right?
 
 
Murray Hamhandler
21:38 / 13.12.02
Y'know, I've only ever heard Bright Eyes in the background of whatever room/car/establishment I was in at the given time, but I always thought it sounded pretty good. Maybe if I sat down and listened to it, it would be a different story...

And I was going to say that I like Moby (as I do own several of his albums), but I can only think of a few songs on any of his albums that I can say I actually care for much. And I'm pretty "blechh" about Animal Rights in particular. Although I do like Ambient quite a bit.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
22:02 / 13.12.02
Yeah, I quite like the last Bright Eyes album.
 
 
w1rebaby
22:07 / 13.12.02
"Hey, man, I'm so hard, I beat up Moby".

Yeah. Try that with Henry Rollins.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
22:29 / 13.12.02
Nah. I could take Rollins. One swift knee to the nuts and he'd be down. And even if he wasn't, I'd be able to run away quicker than he could catch me.

Moby is pop's Ned Flanders.
 
 
Slim
00:48 / 14.12.02
Maybe I'm a cold, desensitized American but I find the story to be fairly amusing. Moby is a deeply annoying man and frankly I hope that a little roughing up will make him less of a pansy. 'Sides, a little crime adds spice to life! Danger and intrigue, don't you know.
 
 
videodrome
03:01 / 14.12.02
Insightful, Slim.

Besides..."a little less of a pansy"? Maybe in the same way that, oh, a couple hours with a huge cock would make Rosie O'Donnell a little less gay?

*this is one hand clapping*
 
 
The Falcon
03:44 / 14.12.02
Replace 'pansy' with 'effete wanker', then. When I saw the thread title, I thought 'good', too.

I only wish it was the direct descendant of a Delta Blues singer that had beaten him up - that, ladies and gents, would be 'hyperkarma'.
 
 
Slim
04:43 / 14.12.02
Sorry video, I cannot see how you made the connection from my believing Moby to be a pansy (or "effete wanker" as Duncan so eloquently put it) to my believing that homosexuals can be changed by the introduction of a big cock.

As it is, I myself have been beaten up and mugged before and it is not the worst thing in the world. In fact, I know many people that I would love to see get hit upside the head with blunt objects. Some people need a swift kick in the ass, no two ways about it. It just so happens that I think Moby is one of these people. He strikes me as someone who if they saw their friend get attacked by street thugs, would administer a verbal admonishment along the lines of, "Please guys, let's be friends." After he let Eminem intimidate him at the MTV Awards I have little respect for the man. That and his music makes my ears bleed.
 
 
bigsunnydavros
09:12 / 14.12.02
Yeah,! how dare he "let Eminem intimidate him at the MTV Awards". What a queer he is!

If he was a real man then him and all his palz woulda fuckin chibbed the blond haired bam after tha party!
After aww, only poofs don't fight, and you don't wanna be a poof now, do you boy?
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
11:00 / 14.12.02
Flyboy I always thought that, regardless of whether you liked his music or not, Moby would be an interesting person to have on the board.
Why?


Because unlike the majority of musicians he's intelligent, literate, amusing, has an outlook that is under-represented on here and doesn't punctuate his comments with 'fuck', 'bitch' or 'nigger'.
 
 
Nermain
11:32 / 14.12.02
This is one of the most depressing threads I've ever read on a message board.

Lots of men get beaten up by other men, for no real reason. It is always a Bad Thing. I am no particular fan of Moby's music, but so what? I really cannot see why anyone would find this amusing or a Good Thing.

Or am I missing an in joke here?
 
 
bigsunnydavros
11:57 / 14.12.02
Nope- you're quite right: there is nothing funny about someone getting beaten up.

Which is why all the macho shite about how "effete wankers" need "a swift kick in the ass" feels a bit wierd to me.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
12:08 / 14.12.02
Slim, what the fuck is wrong with you? I'm genuinely baffled as to how a thug mentality like yours has made its way to Barbelith.

Regardless of my Oberst jokes, I really can't see how any sane, well-adjusted person would believe that some people DESERVE random acts of physical violence, that it's somehow good for their character, that it would make them less of a "pansy". And what do you mean by pansy? Is he too queer for you? Too pacifist? Too intelligent to see violence as anything other than repugnant? Should people who have strong ideals be made to suffer just because you're so jaded?

You're a real tough guy, Slim. Go beat up some more nerds and queers, okay?
 
 
The Apple-Picker
12:50 / 14.12.02
Slim, maybe I'm just a warm, sensitive American (please refrain from using "American" when you mean "asshole" okay?), but your attitude is extremely disturbing.

How on Earth do you know that Eminem actually intimidated Moby just because Eminem hurled a pathetic threat and some equally pathetic insults in his direction? Just because Moby didn't react doesn't mean he was intimidated. What, is the only way to show your strength by being brutal, hard, and coarse?

I'm really rather indifferent to Moby's celebrity, but cheering for his beating is deranged.
 
 
arcboi
15:51 / 14.12.02
People who annoy you should definitely be beaten up. As well as men who blatantly defy all attempts to behave like Real Men. Can't we have a special police force to convince these people not to have a difference of opinion? With a baseball bat preferably.

Then, could we get some scientists to work out a method to stop our knuckles squeaking as we drag them across the ground.
 
 
videodrome
16:01 / 14.12.02
Sorry video, I cannot see how you made the connection from my believing Moby to be a pansy (or "effete wanker" as Duncan so eloquently put it) to my believing that homosexuals can be changed by the introduction of a big cock.

I know what you meant by pansy. Contary to what Johnny Cash lyrics might have you believe, beating up physically weak guys who aren't interested in fighting isn't going to turn them into "real men" any more than a little deep dicking will "bring Amy around", despite Kevin Smith's ideas. You've obviously skimmed the surface of your Hemingway, but maybe you should dig a little deeper and get the whole story.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
17:10 / 14.12.02
I'd just like to point out that of course, I don't really want to see my musical arch-enemies get beaten up. Apart from maybe Crispin Mills, cos he's a nasty little racist as well. But anyway.

Because unlike the majority of musicians he's intelligent, literate, amusing, has an outlook that is under-represented on here and doesn't punctuate his comments with 'fuck', 'bitch' or 'nigger'.

I'd be grateful if you can provide me with some evidence of the first three (what does 'literate' mean, anyway? has he written a book, or is this just a euphemism for 'sounds middle-class'?). As far as the second goes, you really think the outlook of vaguely hippy ideals coupled with a strong support of capitalism is *under*-represented on Barbelith? Odd. That's not been my experience. The last bit seems a little disingenuous: I'm sure you don't really object to rock/pop stars swearing, Lada, and I hope to God you don't need me at this stage to explain the use of the word 'nigger' by hip-hop artists to you, so this really leaves us with "Moby doesn't use misogynistic language". Okay, I'll grant you that.

Except...

If anyone can find a copy of that promo photo of Moby posing with the 'amusingly' big-bosommed topless woman from around the time of the I Like To Score album (oooh! get it? he likes to *score*! because it's a collection of songs that were on film soundtracks, but it could also mean he likes to do drugs or have sex! teehee!), I'll be really grateful.

I think this is what pisses people off about Moby: he somehow comes across as really preachy and sacntimonious where his supposedly right-on principles are concerned, yet he'll sacrifice those principles at the drop of a hat if he thinks it might sell him more records.

(Mind you, I'm prepared to forgive musicians almost anything if the quality of the music they make overrides their disagreeable behaviour, so the above is only of relevance because Moby's musical output is such coffee-table-adorning swill...)
 
 
Spatula Clarke
18:19 / 14.12.02
 
 
Spatula Clarke
18:20 / 14.12.02
'Tit' jokes ahoy.
 
  

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