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The Jack Denfeld / Mike Robot Interview (someone interview me)

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03:14 / 11.11.02

Fire away.

03:50 / 11.11.02

*Bang.*

He's dead. Nothing to see here. Move along.

09:59 / 11.11.02

Flog a dead meme, much?

Whisky Priestess

15:03 / 11.11.02

These questions to number one:
- What first attracted you to the board?
- Describe your ideal Barbeloid (by which I mean, the attributes that would be shown were you to build a person specifically to post on Barbelith)
- Ever killed a man in Reno just to watch him die? If not, why not?
- What's the thing you're most proud of (interpret as you wish)?

08:16 / 20.06.03

The Invisibles comic book series.

Just having a different style than other message boards.

I have never killed a man in Reno.

Aside from the King of Barbelith thing, not much. Is it normal for people to be proud of something they've done?

08:24 / 20.06.03

Answer this

08:57 / 20.06.03

What will you be doing in five years time?

unheimlich manoeuvre

10:58 / 20.06.03

so then...
*shines the desk lamp directly in mr denfeld's face*

1- in what way does your previous life experince prepare you for your desired career in kingship?
2- were you king, which wacky law would you introduce?
3- which part of the real world most reminds you of barbland?
4- who do you love most?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:01 / 20.06.03

Are you now, or have you ever been, a ninja?

Tryphena Absent

11:21 / 20.06.03

Scottish sword dance or salsa?

11:37 / 20.06.03

I don't know what I'll be doing in 5 years time. I try not to plan too far ahead these days. Hopefully I'll be happy.

My previous life experience doesn't really help me as King at all. I come from a working class family, and have been hungry and homeless for a period of time. However I do enjoy when good things happen to me, and I'm sure a King does as well.

Absolutely nothing in the real world reminds me of Barbelith. Although once in a while I'll meet an interesting person who reminds me of Barbelith.

Who do I love most? That's really tough. My mom? I fall in love constantly which is actually starting to worry me these days. I'm getting a little old to be playing the heartsick teenager.

When under the influence of comics and cheesy movies of the 80's, I have in my very early youth pretended to be a ninja. Luckily by the time the U.S.Army and punk rock got done with me I became a pirate.

Salsa. Melted into a cheese dip.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:44 / 20.06.03

AharrrrRRR! Going for the pirate vote, then, matey?

Our Lady of The Two Towers

13:25 / 20.06.03

Why the big ego?

Whisky Priestess

16:01 / 20.06.03

How long have you been around on the Board, JD? It seems like forever. And what do you do when you're off it?

16:21 / 20.06.03

So, Jack, what do you think qualifies you to be King of Barbelith?

21:03 / 20.06.03

So, who would play you in the biopic, JD? And you're not having Anjelica Huston, coz she's playing me.

Who would direct it? Charlie Kaufmann is writing the Xoc biopic and Todd Haynes is directing so they're too busy.

What's the opening music and the closing music? Is it an arthouse film or will it play megaplexes in Peoria? Who will you thank and how long will your Oscar speech be? Will they have to pan to a cardboard cut out in your seat because you're snorting coke in the loo?

Which role is designed for Sir Michael Caine?

Will you be eating salty or sweet popcorn at the premier?

If I get much more pissed will I fall off my chair?

Less searchable M0rd4nt

21:13 / 20.06.03

Are you, as I strongly suspect, some kind of prototypical artificial intelligence, currently engaged in an information-gathering stage of its being, which process will (if successful) result in a critical mass of data and trigger the next stage of development? If we all decide stop answering all your "What Flavour Gum Is Barbelith Chewing RIGHT NOW?" threads, will you in fact be terminated and replace with Denfeld 1.1?

21:23 / 20.06.03

I'm not sure I understand the big ego question. Could you be more specific?

I think I've been posting here since about Morrison's run on JLA. Not sure how long that is. Took a break for awhile and when I came back things were slightly different. When I'm not on the board I work, hang out with friends.

Again, I don't think I have any real qualifications to be King of Barbelith. I just wanted to be the King. A desire to be King? Is that a qualification?

Whoever played Phantom of the Opera in that old black and white movie. Lon Chaney? They would use special fx and he would be wearing the Phantom makeup, but the clothes and hair would reflect my own style.

The director would be Spike Lee.

Opening music will be Europe's The Final Countdown and would show me entering some room from a long hallway. Closing music will be Johnny Thunders' You Can't Put Your Arms Around a Memory. It would play in both Megaplexes but get very good reviews. I will give a simple "Thanks", flash a smile and walk off stage. I won't be snorting coke at the Oscars. Sir Michael Caine will play my old Army roomate from Alabamba, J-Rock. I don't like popcorn that much. It's like eating styrofoam. Maybe I'll have nachos. I believe you will have the willpower to avoid falling off your chair.

23:13 / 20.06.03

1)Would you be more willing to help someone
a) Fill their fridge
b) Empty their fridge
c) Move their fridge

2)If you had a magic bullet that could kill anyone at any period in time without altering the timeline; who would it be, when would it occur and why?

3)Do you believe that "y'all" is the worst sounding slang word ever?

4)Count Chockula
or
Capt'n Crunch

16:12 / 21.06.03

1. What is your opinion of mobile technology, with respects to the concern of the destruction of the world?

2. stripes or spots?

01:38 / 22.06.03

I would be more willing to help someone empty their fridge.

With my magic bullet I would kill Jack the Ripper five seconds before he was due to die anyway. So no real harm done, and I get to see who Jack the Ripper was.

I have no problem with y'all. I especially like hearing the word from someone who has no hint of a southern accent.

Captain Crunch, because of those little berries.

My opinion is that I would rather nobody destroy the world with anything.

Spots and stripes are good. But I prefer stripes on pants.

I am not some kind of prototypical artificial intelligence, currently engaged in an information-gathering stage of its being. And if I am my programming must not allow me access to this fact.

01:44 / 22.06.03

... "have you seen this boy?"

Strange Machine Vs The Virus with Shoes

02:29 / 22.06.03

Jack: Do you prefer tea of coffee?

05:02 / 22.06.03

I prefer coffee.

08:26 / 23.06.03

Are you a legend in your own mind?

08:29 / 23.06.03

Why do you want to be interviewed?

08:21 / 24.06.03

Jub: I am not a legend in my own mind.

Ganesh: I want you all to better understand me. And when you better understand me, things will flow better. You'll know that I was being grumpy all day because I want you to pay attention to me and say that you love me. You'll know that I could have done my ironing at my house, but I'm pretending that I need to do it at your place because I want to spend that extra time with you. You'll know that when you say you love me and I just look like I'm mildly entertained by the thought with just the hint of a smile, that I'm actually beaming on the inside and will think of your "I love you." comment at various times the rest of the day and smile like a loon.

08:45 / 24.06.03

Okay then Jack:
If you were you're average Barbeloid, what question would you ask you to get to know you better?

08:53 / 24.06.03

I would ask what one of the funniest things I saw on Barbelith was.

Whisky Priestess

10:23 / 24.06.03

Apart from the picture of a blob with a halo?

(Maybe I'll link it later. Some people will know what I'm referring to ...)

10:30 / 24.06.03

What was one of the funniest things you've seen on Barbelith Jack?

03:26 / 25.06.03

Well, for about a week, Haus went insane, and anytime he saw something posted that he thought was really stupid or crazy he would do this trick that the Martian Manhunter once did to try to understand the Joker. He'd use his shapeshifting powers and make his brain mimic the posters, or the joker's, brain and he would slowly go insane while understanding what the poster said. The entire week he was doing this I would laugh very hard, and sometimes when I remember it I'll start chuckling to myself.

03:48 / 25.06.03

I'm bored. Someone dare me to eat this lemon.

03:54 / 25.06.03

Your threesome: mmf, or ffm?

(I tried to be above it, but I just couldn't. I'm so sorry I've let you all down.)

04:03 / 25.06.03

Excellent memory Qalyn. It was myself and two ladies. And don't eat the lemon.

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