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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

"That movie was so horrible it was FUCKING GREAT."

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16:04 / 29.10.02

-Hackers
-Wild Things
-Empire Records
-The Craft
-Freeway

17:42 / 29.10.02

Space Truckers
C.H.U.D.

Murray Hamhandler

18:57 / 29.10.02

Halloween 3. Absolutely hands-down the most awful (and best) "piece of tripe w/absolute ignorance of its status as tripe" I've ever seen. Utterly clueless and value-free.

gentleman loser

19:02 / 29.10.02

Before this turns into another "my favorite list of genre [x]" thread, might I ask people to explain their choices in some detail? Thanks.

19:04 / 29.10.02

Aw, man... I LOVE EMPIRE RECORDS!

"Dude, you love G'war! Why don't you join the band?"

Murray Hamhandler

19:39 / 29.10.02

"Let's make masks that, in conjunction w/the viewing of a very specific television commercial, will kill all children who happen to be wearing the masks at that specific time! Yes, I know that there's no point and that it's hopelessly intricate! But we're going to do it anyway! Because I've got Stonehenge in my basement!"

That's Halloween 3 for you. Explanations should be sewn up.

00:12 / 30.10.02

Kegboy wrote:
Space Truckers
C.H.U.D.

It's funny that you mention "Space Truckers", Kegboy. A couple of years ago, I caught a test screening of that dubious piece of cinema (the director [the same guy that did "Re-Animator"] went to college here in Madison). At the end of the film, he and one of the producers were really eager to hear the criticisms of the audience. Only problem is, nobody had the guts to tell them straight-up that the film sucked. I mean, it really, really sucked. So the entire audience just hemmed and hawed and hoped that everybody would just shut up so that they could get out of there as soon as possible.

And to ge this post back on-topic, I have 3 words for you: Repo Fuckin' Man. 'nuff said.

02:17 / 30.10.02

oh rage, you can't say freeway was BAD...

"i didn't say you could do sex to my dead body neither..."

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

06:50 / 30.10.02

Rage's first choice: Hackers.

Ho ho. I was an extra in that movie (and Judge Dredd, as well, if you must know)! I don't know if you can see me, cos the bits of dialogue I got to hear while filming put me off ever wanting to see it.

Easy money, though.

09:15 / 30.10.02

hah, it was an extremely silly movie, especially the skateboarding evil security expert. Dude! Any idea which scene you may have been in? Not many get that close to Angelina Jolie and live.

12:23 / 30.10.02

Aw, man... I LOVE EMPIRE RECORDS!

"Damn the Man! Rave on, rave on!"

I had a pretty huge argument with a freind over whether Empire Records was fucking terrible or fucking great, with me taking the former postion. It's still a fine line, but he won me over on the basis of; a)the bit with Gwar, b)the above slogan and c)the bit where the angsty punk girl shaves her head..

My current "so horrible it was fucking great" list:

The Warriors
Reign of Fire
Smokey & The Bandit
The Black Cat
The Devil Rides Out
that movie with Madonna and the tiger
Escape from LA
From Dusk til Dawn
Animal House
Suburban Commando

Oh god, I could go on all day..

12:42 / 30.10.02

When I saw the thread title, my immediate thought was, indeed, 'Empire Records'. I am FUCKING OBSESSED with this film; I hate it like no other.

For a movie so determied to be 'down' with 'the kids', how could they get EVERYTHING wrong? It's a horrid little conservative nugget that I can't dislodge from my throat.

Must... clean... brain...

My friend would probably volunteer 'The Man Who Cried', which I haven't seen - anyone?

12:44 / 30.10.02

And that recent rock-star one with Marky Mark, and 'Almost Famous' - films about music are shit, aren't they?

For the record, I like 'The Warriors' ("come out and play-eeay") unironically.

12:54 / 30.10.02

Well it's inspired me to start a street gang. Extremely ironically.

Teen Witch! How could I forget Teen Witch? And to a lesser extent, Teen Wolf.

And, I can't actually remember what it's called, but.. that movie that was on directly after If.. on TV last month, the one about the Prog-Rock keyboard meastro who makes a deal with the sinister pop svengali guy and gets horribly disfigured and they sell his music to "an effeminate glam rocker called Rock" or something.. that was absolutely *BREATHTAKING*!

13:21 / 30.10.02

you mean Brian DePalma's Phantom of Paradise, Riz? That movie is totally fucking incredible... it's so far out there it defies all judgement. a monsterous masterpiece of 70s cineman and pretty much the ultimate 70s rock opera satire; i think it has enough bizarre archtypal twists against the "new hollywood" that you could base an understand of the movement through its pitfalls.

13:27 / 30.10.02

hey, Rizla, Warriors made my buddies and I start a street gang too!

We didn't really know what we had to do to be a street gang, so we just walked around the neighborhood looking for other street gangs with the intention of telling them they were on our turf and they had to get out.

13:38 / 30.10.02

Yeah. We're assuming that since there aren't any other Street Gangs, we own everything.

Uniform: Duffle-coats, Converse, Pavement T-shirts, red bandanas and cricket bats.

Ain't no one gonna be dis-respecting Slint in our town!

you mean Brian DePalma's Phantom of Paradise, Riz?

Indeed I do .. I really can't bring myself to believe that film actually existed, it was so.. as you say, defies all judgement..

The Natural Way

14:55 / 30.10.02

See, Riz, I actually think 'The Devil Rides Out' has some fantastic moments in it: the horseman trying to break through into the hexagram (really good stuff - what WILL happen if he gets through?) and the demon slowly appearing in the room (alright, it's racist, but the idea of being trapped in a room w/ something that only looks like a man slowly materialising is SOOO unpleasant - it's got all the time in the world and it's smiling)..... I remember these scenes giving me the willies.

14:59 / 30.10.02

Phantom of the paradise... i just bought that a week ago in a search for movies that have left me in a traumatic state when i was four. my father used to bring home these fucked up movies back in the day and the scenes in POTP where the undeads were dismembering the audience members was so fucking brilliant. up until recently i always dismissed that film as some sort of nightmare i had when i was young. but damn... i can't believe someone actually made that film.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

15:46 / 30.10.02

bjacques- it was the club scene when Urban Dance Squad were playing... Ms Jolie wanders through and some guy says "Razor and Blade? But they're flakes!" to which she replies "No. They're elite." Or something to that effect.

To think, I spent EIGHT FUCKING HOURS within twenty feet of Angelina Jolie and my only thought was "Christ, this is irritating."

Tryphena Absent

15:54 / 30.10.02

Empire Records is the most stupid film ever... I think it's the bit where Joe's playing the drums and whats-his-face is wiggling his hips around on the step outside the door. Genius. Liv Tyler's annoying though.

Tryphena Absent

15:55 / 30.10.02

Oh and Witchboard 2 gets my vote.

16:10 / 30.10.02

Naw, The Man Who Cried is just bad. Snooze. Nothing.

Since someone mentioned DePalma I think Raising Cain is worthy of merit here.

16:23 / 30.10.02

Empire Records! oh yes!

Me and a certain group of my friends seem to gravitate towards watching this film almost EVERY TIME we meet up. I dont know why, but we do.

I'm really amused by the fact that so many other people here love that shitty little film... I had assumed that it was some kind of mental quirk that only me and my friends had.

16:57 / 30.10.02

Hold on a sec! Let's get this clear: Animal House is a GOOD movie for all the RIGHT reasons.

Oh, and Stoatie: I think she said "3l33t", not "elite".

17:38 / 30.10.02

wow, the empire of Empire Records fans grows.... this is as surprising a brotherhood as I've seen since the Pirate Movie thread....

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

17:40 / 30.10.02

"Frogs". And I don't think I even need to explain why.

Regrettable Juvenilia

18:17 / 30.10.02

Empire Records has a young Renee Zellwegger singing 'Sugar High' on a roof, sounding all helium-y and Kathleen Hanna-y. That kind of clinches it for me, in a very sad hetboy kinda way.

19:12 / 30.10.02

I also rate Animal House. In fact, I do get somewhat pissed when people tend to lump the film in with all the Porkies-type film bollocks.

My choice is: They Live - John Carpenter really off-form, a shit cast, hilarious aliens, crap music and yet......

Or should this be in the "This film COULD have been fucking great" thread?

19:29 / 30.10.02

Hell Comes to Frogtown

00:11 / 31.10.02

Fuck me, Riz, a post/indie-rock streetgang?

The only way it could exist is ironically. Although I've heard tell that them Shellac fans are trouble.

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

02:06 / 31.10.02

Oh you people don't KNOW bad movies.

The best bad movie is The Creeping Terror about a giant shag carpet with heating ducts taped to it that travels about the Riverside CA area eating people...and not only can you see the feet of the people under the shag carpet monset, you can see their hands grabbing the people and dragging them into the mouth, or the people wriggling themselves into the mouth.

Oh, but that's not what makes it great. That's just what makes it partly fun.

While it was being filmed, the filmmakers had the people in the community invest in the movie in return for parts in the movie and a share of the profits. They didn't film the movie with sound, saying they would come back leter and dub the sound so as to save money.

They never EVER came back. Instead, the movie was released about two years later with a narrator. "Bob told Mary he was going to go to town, while Mary worried that the monster had been sighted between their home and town. So Bob grabbed his rifle and said he would be very careful..."

THAT is a movie so bad it is pure art. And I own two copies of it.

11:18 / 31.10.02

Brothers and Sisters, last night I saw possibly the greatest motion picture in history..

Trying to describe in words the brilliance of this movie would be a thankless task.. it completely lives up to it's premise and much, much more.. pretty much every single shot is hysterical.. especially since it's filmed on a shakey digital camera with a cast entirely made up of mumbling Canadian punks over-dubbed with gravelly US voices..

It makes yer average Troma film look like 'Amadeus'..

Some sample dialogue should suffice:

JOHNNY GOLGOTHA: So, Jesus, any last words?

JESUS: No. Just a question. Why lesbians?

JOHNNY GOLGOTHA: They were devinats, no one will miss them.

JESUS: There's nothing deviant about love.

SANTOS, PATRON SAINT OF MEXICAN WRESTLERS: Tell them, Lord! The truth to them is as bitter a garlic!

(everyone pauses briefly to give Santos a disdainful look before breaking into the 800th comedy kung-fu scene)

complete fucking perfection.

00:03 / 01.11.02

Hey, for all of y'all that are pontificating about "The Warriors" did you know that MTV Films & Tony Scott are producing & directing (dis-respectivly) a re-make?

"Paramount Pictures has tapped scribes John Glenn and Travis Wright to update "The Warriors" for MTV Films and Paramount Pictures.

At MTV Films, Van Toffler, David Gale and Michael Cole are overseeing the project along with Larry Gordon, who produced the original. Paramount's Brian Witten and prexy John Goldwyn are supervising pic for the studio.

Original centers on a small group of gang members who are falsely accused of murdering a peace-seeking gang leader. They are chased through Gotham's streets by rival gangs eager for revenge. In their updated version, Glenn and Travis have eliminated guns. The gangs, rather, have turned to an urban hybrid of martial arts and street fighting to settle their differences. "

I didn't care for the origional, but this looks like shit-on-a-stick with a side of wacksauce.

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

05:20 / 01.11.02

"Warriors.....come out and PLAAYAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY"

One of the coolest movies of all time.

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