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This Woman Is Guilty

  
  

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Regrettable Juvenilia
11:23 / 29.10.02


...of nothing more than having made almost exclusively awful movies over the course of the last 12 years; dating a string of inadvisable rock stars (Dave Pirner? Ryan Adams? eek...); and in the process breaking the hearts of a thousand sensitive boys and girls who were angstily hitting puberty at the end of the 80s, and were thus so susceptible to Catcher In The Rye-reading, any-colour-so-long-as-it's-black-wearing, Christian-Slater's-finger-shooting, vampire-obsessed pixies from the silver screen that it scarred them for life.

Free Winona!
 
 
w1rebaby
11:29 / 29.10.02
I feel very betrayed by Winona. I could even forgive her Alien Resurrection, but an Adam Sandler movie... no. Bitch.
 
 
videodrome
11:31 / 29.10.02
Um, so, like I was working. Yeah. My, uh...director, yeah, my director had told me to, like shoplift. At first I thought he should've hired Arnold. I mean me? Lift a shop?

But then he told me he just wanted me to, like, steal some stuff and I was soooo relieved. I mean, like, I do that all the time!
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:31 / 29.10.02
Oh yeah? What about Reality Bites, then?

I bet she gives money to the homeless, too. And belongs to a union. And tells children about gay parenting. And actively supports the killing of brown babies, *and* the right of poor, ugly and stupid people to breed.

Face it, man. She may be pixily delicous, but you have to draw the line somewhere. Winona Ryder is the acceptable face fo Political Correctness Gone Mad.

She is everything Barbelith was set up to combat.
 
 
videodrome
11:37 / 29.10.02
Watch it, Haus. I belong to a union.

Oh. Point taken.
 
 
w1rebaby
11:42 / 29.10.02
Reality Bites is perfectly tolerable if you put your fingers in your ears, shut your eyes and sing "I can't hear you" for however long it takes - about twelve hours is what it felt like.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:42 / 29.10.02
Videodrome, I just don't *get* you.

You're part of the Union.

I don't get you.

You're part of the Union.

I don't get you.

You're part of the Union.

Tiiiiiiiiill the day you die.

Tiiiiiiiiill the day you die.
 
 
rizla mission
12:08 / 29.10.02
..of nothing more than having made almost exclusively awful movies over the course of the last 12 years; dating a string of inadvisable rock stars (Dave Pirner? Ryan Adams? eek...); and in the process breaking the hearts of a thousand sensitive boys and girls who were angstily hitting puberty at the end of the 80s, and were thus so susceptible to Catcher In The Rye-reading, any-colour-so-long-as-it's-black-wearing, Christian-Slater's-finger-shooting, vampire-obsessed pixies from the silver screen that it scarred them for life.

Damn fucking straight!

(Except I wasn't hitting puberty at the end of the '80s, that would have been fucked..)
 
 
jUne, a sunshiny month
12:14 / 29.10.02
haus She may be pixily delicous
i got feeling deep inside me, got to let it go... don't you think she was pixily delicious waaayyyyy back while in Beetlejuice ? am i the only one to jump off the wagon soon after this ?
 
 
Cat Chant
15:58 / 29.10.02
She has a funny voice.
 
 
Rage
16:10 / 29.10.02
Was her publicity stunt successful? Has she gotten any new work recently? I don't read Entertainment Weekly.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
16:47 / 29.10.02
So, one time Christian Slater tried to blow up my school and I was all, "WEEEEE!"

And then I went up to Cher and she was my mom and she slapped me and said, "Grow up!" and I was like, "WEEEEEEE!"

And this other time Gary Oldman bit me on the neck and I said, "Take me away from all of this WEEEEEEE!"

When you're movie star
And you wanna go WEEEEE!
But you're the white bycicle of Hollywood [everyone gets a ride -ed.]


...and so on. I can't think of any more.
 
 
videodrome
17:18 / 29.10.02
Ah, Haus, no one does. *sniff*

But hey - I can sing all the White Stripes songs I want, but now that I'm in Georgia, I have to be a Real Southern Boy.

So no more union for me!

Long live the confederacy!
 
 
gridley
19:02 / 29.10.02
Flyboy, what's your gripe with Ryan Adams?
 
 
videodrome
19:11 / 29.10.02
I won't answer for Flyboy, but as for myself, Adams seems to be, erm, a twat. Read his recent interview on CNN.com for any number of incriminating bits, like the following:

TMR: Is it frustrating not getting a lot of radio play?

Adams: No, I don't care. My ambition is strictly artistic.

TMR: Why did you do the Gap commercial?

Adams: I did the Gap ad, because who says no to $30,000 an hour? I don't! I'm sorry if that's selling out, so be it. Yes, I sell out. I do Gap ads so that I don't have to work in a factory. Also, I don't mind their clothes.

Oh, you mean you don't want to work in factories, like the ones that make GAP clothes in which people are paid less than a hundredth of your hourly whores wage in a week? Those kinds of factories?
 
 
Slim
20:02 / 29.10.02
Re: Ryan Adams

At a concert in Nashville a fan yelled for Adams to play "Summer of '69". Adams replied by swearing and refusing to play until the houselights were turned on, the singled the man out and kicked him out of the concert hall. On the way out the fan was given his money back by the manager and asked to stay for the show. When a writer for The Tennessean wrote about the incident, Adams left a profanity-laced message on his answering machine.

Basically, Adams is a whiny-assed shit who needs a vicious beatdown.
 
 
Jack Fear
20:10 / 29.10.02
At a concert in Nashville a fan yelled for Adams to play "Summer of '69"...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha cunt.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
20:24 / 29.10.02
Always been a fan of Winona's... I was starting to lose hope, what with the crap movies an' all. Then I found out she nicks stuff, too.

Top chick.
 
 
gridley
20:32 / 29.10.02
[threadrot]
At a concert in Nashville a fan yelled for Adams to play "Summer of '69". Adams replied by swearing and refusing to play until the houselights were turned on, the singled the man out and kicked him out of the concert hall. On the way out the fan was given his money back by the manager and asked to stay for the show.

That's absolutely hilarious. You'd think he would have emotionally prepared himself for that inevitability before he chose to record under his real name....
[/threadrot]

In light of her confession, I suppose we should be glad Winona wasn't making a film about the Holocaust.
 
 
videodrome
20:37 / 29.10.02
Not really worried about rotting the thread since, well, who cares about Winona, anyway...

Here's a Link to a page with some excerpts from the message that Adams left on the writer's machine.
 
 
uncle retrospective
22:54 / 29.10.02
Jack Fear wrote:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha cunt.

That was beautiful.
Adams mocking is something the world needs more of.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
10:59 / 30.10.02
My main gripe with Adams - apart from the fact that he is clearly the American David Gray, musically - can be found here.

Adams: "The song doesn't attack Britney or anything, it attacks this preconceived notion that men cannot be romantic intellectuals."
 
 
Pepsi Max
11:31 / 30.10.02
Well, when Winona is sent dahhnn like the tea leaf she undoubtedly is, he can smuggle slimming aids and "elfin" make up to her in his geetar case.

And then get torn to shreds by the Bacchae-like fellow inmates of Winona. Hopefully his voice won't still mournfully emanate from his decapitated head as he drifts down the Hudson to Hades.

Not that I have anything against the bloke myself.
 
 
rizla mission
12:33 / 30.10.02
That's some A+ imagery..
 
 
Stone Mirror
23:15 / 30.10.02
She is everything Barbelith was set up to combat.

If this was not intended with tongue deep in cheek, someone needs a long, long vacation.
 
 
Rev. Orr
07:25 / 31.10.02
That was Haus. He had his tongue removed and reattached to his cheek several years ago............by NANOBOTS.
 
 
The Natural Way
07:47 / 31.10.02
Mirror: it's going to be difficult to take yr Haus dissing seriously from now on. I think this time I might be on the money to suggest that you reread the post, reread the post....blah.
 
 
Stone Mirror
16:45 / 31.10.02
What are you, runce, his PR department?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
21:55 / 31.10.02
It's a bit like iron, Stone Mirror.

(Is SM a Haus-ter-baiter? I hadn't noticed...he always seemed perfectly pleasant...is he the one who likes to rock-climb, or is that someone else? It's all so confusing, what with spiders and then Tetse flies...)
 
 
Stone Mirror
00:24 / 01.11.02
"God is an iron."
--Spider Robinson
 
 
The Natural Way
08:03 / 01.11.02
Stone: I'm just irritated by the way you and a few others seem desperate to misunderstand him. It has sod all to do with the guy himself and more to do with yr desire to demonise - just think it's clumsy, careless and silly.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
10:09 / 01.11.02
Well, since deliberately misreading just makes you look like you're not very bright, and thus not able to follow simple sentences, I suspect that actually when this happens it usually happens due to limited language skills (possibly English as a second language, in which case obviously people are doing very well to start with), and people actually *not* being able to follow the sentence. Throw in stuff like irony (it's a bit like iron, you see), metonym, wordplay or subordinate clauses and you're just complicating the issue further.
 
 
suds
10:33 / 01.11.02
no-one has mentioned how winona was in mermaids. it was her only good role. dude, that film was hott.
 
 
Tezcatlipoca
11:17 / 01.11.02
no-one has mentioned how winona was in mermaids

...or Girl, Interrupted...
 
 
Jack Fear
18:00 / 06.11.02
The Verdict.

Grand theft: Guilty. Possible three years in chokey.
Vandalism: Guilty. Ditto.
Commercial burglary: Not Guilty.
 
  

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