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Where do you get your porn?

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XXII:X:II = XXX

02:45 / 02.09.02

That's right, it's time for everybody's favorite game show, Where Do You Get Your Porn (You Slimy Perv)?

Really, I'm pretty sure most of us around here are over 18 (or whatever your local requirement is), and we're also fairly in touch (ahem) with the virtues of our hedonistic sides. 'Tain't no shame in that game. So is there that one place on the web you check in with on a daily basis to get your rocks off?

I'll get the ball rolling: I go to a specific subsite of VoyeurWeb called PrivateShots, which is all viewer-submitted amateur pictures. Yes, you get a few rancid pics mixed in, but for the most part, you really come to realize how many porn-worthy physiques your average twenty- to thirty-somethings have... or at least those who consider their physiques worthy of submission. The URL is http://www.privateshots.com and is updated almost every day.

Okay, I know my choice is probably fairly vanilla compared to what y'all are into, so show me up. I especially want to hear what the ladies repeatedly visit. (Oh, don't give me that "porn is for men" horseshit; women are at least as horny as men are, evinced by the statistic that they masturbate four times as often as men, which is, aside from social conditioning of "proper" female behavior, why they don't exhibit it as openly as we do.) C'mon, don't be shy.

04:30 / 02.09.02

I personally like ampland.com. It has a huge variety, although there can be some repetition in the categories which can get tiresome. I also like literotica.com,more for the erotica than the photos, but they do have some amateur photos on there.

05:32 / 02.09.02

Hey, that ampland is pretty good. what i used to do see, is wait until i was drunk, then go and buy my porn with no inhibition, course, that was pre-internet!

ONLY NICE THINGS

07:35 / 02.09.02

evinced by the statistic that they masturbate four times as often as men, which is, aside from social conditioning of "proper" female behavior, why they don't exhibit it as openly as we do

You mean, the same way that you can't see a hummingbird's wings when it's in flight? Women are masturbating *all the time*, but too quickly for the human eye to see?

We're The Great Old Ones Now

07:52 / 02.09.02

Cookery magazines.

The Return Of Rothkoid

08:35 / 02.09.02

Oh god yes. Le Creuset every time, baby.

And hey - anyone remember the near-orgasmic levels all that Smeg fridge discussion got to? Mmm... '50s styling...

08:42 / 02.09.02

fridges and 50's styling? Is this really the place to confess your deepest perversions, rothky? I'm not knocking it. I'm sure that gelid love has a lot to offer.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

09:12 / 02.09.02

I missed that one, but I have a Smeg oven...mmmm...

Mind you, I'm an Aga slave at heart. Heat your house, make your Boa Constrictor happy, cook food, undress your partner and leave their clothes on the bar so they're warm and toasty...

But actually, it wasn't appliances I was thinking of. I had all those ripe, glistening vegetables in mind, rich in sinful explosion and chilled or slushy vitality, photographed to excite the senses and inflame the animal passions. Raw. Natural. Burst-in-your-mouth.

Disco is My Class War

09:42 / 02.09.02

I write it myself. Pictures are for shills.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

09:45 / 02.09.02

Isn't a shill one of those small Africa onions? The ones which look as if they're about to lie down and beg?

ONLY NICE THINGS

11:15 / 02.09.02

A shill is a term used to describe one who shills, i.e. one who plays a bystander or passer-by in order to feign success in a pavement card game, snake oil stand or similar, in partnership with the salesman or bunko artist.

Subsequently, "shill" has taken on the meaning of an accomplice in general. Perhaps it has also taken on the subsidiary sense of a dupe or fool, although the shill is in fact the one doing the duping - can't think of a precedent offhand, though.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

11:19 / 02.09.02

Nope. I looked it up in Coplen's Guide to Sensual Veg. A shill is a rose-coloured shallot, with a pert, upturned bulb and a burgeoning stalk. They taste faintly of Coriander, and are used in Kenya and Zaire as an aphrodisiac. The shill also grows in central asia.

ONLY NICE THINGS

11:34 / 02.09.02

Coplen's guide to sensual veg is doubtless a fine and private place, but few I think do there embrace. I suspect DPC's meaning may be closer to the less tuberous definition.

Personally, however, I find a man who knows his onions quite porny.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

11:36 / 02.09.02

Ah. Poetry. "To his coy lettuce".

Foxxyyy.

ONLY NICE THINGS

11:53 / 02.09.02

Or when the Moon was overhead,
Came two young lovers lately wed.
Taking to their nuptual bed
A ladle of shallots.

Hey, between this and the OED, who needs porn?

The Apple-Picker

12:49 / 02.09.02

A ladle of shallots. Now that is freakin' clever.

My porn? Well, a few months ago, I decided to find out what this porn thing was because it had never appealed to me. Almost all the things I could find for free made me feel very bad about myself for some reason. I don't know. I just didn't come across women being referred to as anything other than sluts or bitches. I did like the stories on literotica.com, though.

And there are always my perennials, and I mean that: seed and plant catalogues. The tomatoes and apples, especially.

The Apple-Picker

12:55 / 02.09.02

I recommend Burpee's.

13:00 / 02.09.02

My grandmother worked as a shill -- not the onion -- in Reno, Nevada in the early '50's. She didn't do porn, as far as I know.

XXII:X:II = XXX

14:28 / 02.09.02

Feh. Here I try to introduce discussion of a topic as pure as porn, and you lot have to taint it with your filthy culinary preversions. That's right, I said PREVERSIONS!

There was this one personal gem, tho:

Mind you, I'm an Aga slave at heart.

The girl I lost my virginity to was named Aga. So that makes me smile.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

15:08 / 02.09.02

...must

...not

...make

...oven

...joke

15:09 / 02.09.02

Where are you finding these sluts and bitches? Can you send some along toward the States, please?

I satisfy myself with men doing to men what women never get to do at all. (And they are carnivores. Meat, meat, meat. No vegans.)

The Apple-Picker

15:24 / 02.09.02

Here I try to introduce discussion of a topic as pure as porn, and you lot have to taint it with your filthy culinary preversions. That's right, I said PREVERSIONS!

Hey, you asked what the ladies were into. And I was sincere.

Stuff that is real porn (whatever that means) rarely really titillates me. I was serious when I was talking about my stroke mags, er, seed catalogues. Plants growing in time lapse, watched in biology class, always worked magic, too. I might have seemed quite insane to those around me, seeing as I'd start to giggle for no apparent reason (believing that few, if any, were turning to puddles as I was).

Of course, catty bitch fights between men are great, too.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

18:08 / 02.09.02

Pix don't really do it for me. I prefer written stuff, or listening to someone's mucky fantasies. If these pall, there's always the fire-station over the road (which reminds me: I must get a pair of binoculars).

18:56 / 02.09.02

Mordant: I guess you're praying for a firemen's strike so there's tons of pics and picket lines then?

(off topic: If there's a firemen's strike, and it gets rowdy, would this be the first time we see rioters using water cannons against the police?)

The urge to acquire pornographic material diminishes with every year that goes by...no idea why and I hope I'm not the only one out there who's experiencing this. When the urge does strike, I've always found asstr a good source for the literary forms of *ahem* mental stimulation.

13:10 / 03.09.02

a while back seanbaby.com was promoting this porn site called www.suicidegirls.com. What made it really interesting is that it's all punk and goth girls. Tattoos and piercings galore. Also, the girls themselves run it, so your money is going straight to the girls.

Unfortunately, I was too much of a tightwad to actually pay for a membership, but it's a great concept.

14:17 / 03.09.02

I used to hit the Badassmofo forums before they started charging. The quality was usually pretty good. Recently, I've been poking around livejournal and checking out some of the communities there.

Right now, my urge to acquire porn of any kind is nonexistent. It'll just sit on my hard drive taking up space.

18:34 / 08.07.03

Here's a cool smut site:

http://www.crazybabe.com

Killer photography, cool angles/color/composition. Not too nuts about some of the girls, but there you go.

Also, if you're into rope bondage, I'd check out this one:
http://www.digitalkinbaku.com

Beatiful girls, beautiful rope work.

That's my 2 cent.

20:43 / 08.07.03

i get my pr0n from my head.
vladimir said "taint," huh huh.
suicidegirls isn't exactly "run by the girls," check out an article in the bitchmagazine.com archives.

21:28 / 08.07.03

Dude, did you do a search for "porn" on this forum or something?

We're The Great Old Ones Now

21:33 / 08.07.03

I find the whole question increasingly terrifying. You can't search for articles on Atomic Kitten (don't ask) without being invited to see Britney Spears naked and nympho schoolgirls in the raw - the latter of which is probably technically illegal. From what I can see, Deva's Harry/Snape slash is quite possibly very illegal, and the whole arena is beginning to seem not-worth-it - you simply can't know when you click on a link whether you'll be rewarded for your interest with some ewotic masterpiece, stories you find stimulating, or images and text for which you could find yourself in prison or at least socially (and professionally) plague-ridden. Better by far to get filth cable or a copy of 'Delta of Venus'.

And if you do find yourself staring at a pop-up of some not-so-cheery milkmaid milking a bull, what the hell do you do about it? My civic duty / humanity demands I say something to someone, but I really have no desire to have half a dozen coppers burst through my door and seize my computer because I said I'd seen something I thought was illegal (and/or immoral). Since downloading illegal obscenity is a crime, and you often cannot avoid it, there doesn't seem to be a way to avoid becoming a felon.

Why couldn't the world have a sensible attitude to sex, anyway?

22:23 / 08.07.03

Because then we'd all get nekkid and Do It in our neighbours' front lawns, silly. And nobody wants that. Grass stains are a bitch to get out of one's bum cheeks.

11:33 / 09.07.03

Where do I get my porn? I just stand, naked, in front of a full length mirror, baby.

If that's not possible I imagine Haus performing unnatural acts with a diving mask, a set of electrodes and a roller blind.

14:45 / 09.07.03

suicide guirls was also featured in punk planet, where a few facts came out tthat were not to my mind supportive of an image of fair representation/pay.

i think the guys who run it get rich.

i dont think the girls do.

Regrettable Juvenilia

14:58 / 09.07.03

Clarification: it's run by one girl and one boy. Got a link for those FACTS?

15:02 / 09.07.03

For some reason can't help reading out the title to this thread to the tune of "where did you get that hat".....

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