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Unknown noun, now please...

 
  

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Mourne Kransky
14:35 / 14.08.02
My lovely boss has just come out of a longgg meeting to ask me an important and urgent question: What is the female form of "Wanker"?

I said that in these enlightened and unsexist times, surely a female wanker is a wanker, just the same. He is convinced there's a better word and neither of us can think of it.

Is there? Remember, I still await a glowing reference from this man...
 
 
Jack Fear
14:40 / 14.08.02
Wankress?
 
 
Loomis
14:42 / 14.08.02
Wankrix?
 
 
Bill Posters
14:46 / 14.08.02
There's a tradition which has it that men wank, and women frig, the verb frig having a dubious etymology connected to a Norse fertility deity. So my guess is she'd be a frigger.
 
 
Persephone
14:46 / 14.08.02
Wankeuse.
 
 
gridley
14:50 / 14.08.02
Send your lovely boss here...
 
 
deja_vroom
14:50 / 14.08.02
Wankadora.
 
 
invisible_al
14:51 / 14.08.02
Would onanist work for both? But actually thats a bit of a wanky word in itself.
 
 
Rev. Orr
14:51 / 14.08.02
A Strummer?
 
 
illmatic
14:52 / 14.08.02
Well, I've hear it said that women don't sweat, they "pespire" - maybe they don't wank, they "mastubate" instead.
 
 
Sax
14:54 / 14.08.02
I always like "diddler". Maybe some women should answer the question.
 
 
Lilith Myth
14:54 / 14.08.02
Wankette?

I think men have hard-ons and women have wide-ons, no?
 
 
Jack Fear
14:54 / 14.08.02
No no no no no no.

Horses sweat.
Men perspire.

Women merely "glow."
 
 
Sax
14:55 / 14.08.02
Apart from Persephone, of course. And possibly one or two others.

Shutting up now.
 
 
Rev. Orr
14:55 / 14.08.02
And I think 'onanist' would be gender-exclusive as the biblical reference is to his spilling his seed upon the ground.
 
 
Sax
14:56 / 14.08.02
Christ, this is getting worse. Two posts inserted between mine (perhaps that's female term...)

Sorry Perseph.
 
 
Sax
14:59 / 14.08.02
Actually ZoCher, did your boss want a word to describe "a woman who masturbates" or a loathesome and contemptible person of the female variety?
 
 
Mourne Kransky
14:59 / 14.08.02
Impressed by your invention, ladeez and gennelmen. Like wankeuse and strummer particularly.

Will print out the webpage, gridley, thanks.

Clitorist? Vagitator? Le mot juste still evades me...
 
 
Jack Fear
15:05 / 14.08.02
Clitflicker.
 
 
Bill Posters
15:06 / 14.08.02
I had a parrot called Onan once.
 
 
Sax
15:09 / 14.08.02
Sigh. Is that because he spilled his seed all over the floor?
 
 
Bill Posters
15:13 / 14.08.02
You mean, you've heard that one before?
 
 
gridley
15:14 / 14.08.02
Sax: I always like "diddler".

Well, DC is always looking for new villians to send up against Batman.

"Diddle me this, Caped Crusader!"
 
 
Bill Posters
15:18 / 14.08.02
Oh and this is also a mine of information. (Though not necessarily politically to everyone's taste. This is the Viz which gave us the headline, "Gay Presto, it's Harry Botter!" after all, so be warned.)
 
 
Saveloy
15:21 / 14.08.02
Pea polisher?

Tuppence worrier?
 
 
Bear
15:23 / 14.08.02
There's always the charming "Flicking the Bean"
 
 
Bill Posters
16:46 / 14.08.02
That's a stormer!
 
 
Mourne Kransky
16:49 / 14.08.02
Sax, don't know whether this was wankeress as in "a woman who diddles" or as in "loathesome Baroness Young person". He was with a female friend of mine when he asked and she barely ever talks about anything except sex, so probably the former.

I can't really see any need for new words of abuse which specify gender but I can see a need for a good and positive shorthand for female masturbation, since it seems to me to be a phenomenon of a whole different order to the male variety.

One is a cheese and pickle sandwich and the other is a three course meal with wine and liqueurs. Or such has been my impression.
I know where I am with a cheese ploughman's but I'm confused by the cutlery when it needs to be cordon bleu. I note that shortfatdyke uses the word wanking, so maybe the difference can only be heard in the tone of voice and the length of the syllables.

Sir Jack: Women merely "glow"
Now I'm reconsidering the use of the phrase "a glowing reference" in my earlier post.

Bear: "Flicking the Bean"
That was a typo, wasn't it, you coy and cuddly cub?
 
 
Persephone
20:12 / 14.08.02
How much do I love the construct that "women glow --except for Persephone of course, and possibly one or two others." I have never been this elite before.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
21:42 / 14.08.02
A quick Googling tells me that a female wanker is, in fact, a wacker.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
21:45 / 14.08.02
A girl I used to work with used the phrase "playing with the man in the boat"... dunno how you'd condense it to a noun, though.
 
 
Ganesh
21:53 / 14.08.02
Someone ought to tell those bushwacker guys...
 
 
uncle retrospective
21:53 / 14.08.02
I've heard it referred to as slapping the kipper. So the term would be a kipper slapper. Humm.
Lovely.
 
 
Sax
06:43 / 15.08.02
How much do I love the construct that "women glow --except for Persephone of course, and possibly one or two others." I have never been this elite before.

Ah, but if you read it in full, it says "women MERELY glow - apart from Persephone etc"

So that could be construed as quite a compliment, really.
 
 
illmatic
07:18 / 15.08.02
Interesting, isn't it tho' that you'll never hear women use charming terms such "knocking one out" or "a quick one off the wrist". Perhaps this is part biology but perhaps it's all the geezer/laddism implications they've got?
 
  

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