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The greatest sweet in the world...

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22:53 / 10.08.02

..is the surprisingly rare banana Fruitella, with the apple Fruitella coming in a close second. Fruitella in general contain more sweety goodness than any other candy out there. They have a chewyness that's about as close to bubblegum as you can get without yr mum telling you now to swallow it coz your insides'll goo up or something. They're also the fruitiest, juiciest, gin-gan-gooliest of all the tooth-rotters. In comparison, Opal Fruits - sorry, Starburst - are about as chewy as diarrhea. Chewits are in breach of the Trading Standards Act.

To think, it could all have belonged to the fabled Milk Chew if only they hadn't dropped off the face of the earth along with the lucky dip bags after my eighth bithday.

I defy you all to find a greater sweet than the dodo-shit-rare banana Fruitella.

22:57 / 10.08.02

Despite their sugartastic fantabulousness, I've spelled Fruittella wrong throughout that post. This should not distract from their superiority in the field of denture-removal and can probably be put down to the fact that I haven't had any for a few hours (he wrote, hands shaking).

23:13 / 10.08.02

Clearly, the original sweet-and-sour cola bottle beats all other pic-and-mix hands down. A thick layer of sugar on top of a viciously sour chewy bit? It's the taste you never grow out of.

I've noticed that modern cola bottles are sweeter and less jarring on the tongue. It's a disgrace.

06:10 / 11.08.02

[rot] Speaking of candy, anyone ever had the Jelly Babies that Tom Baker-era "Dr. Who" was so fond of? Are they worth seeking out? [/rot]

Our Lady of The Two Towers

08:35 / 11.08.02

Not as good as Fruitang's but quite nice.

09:14 / 11.08.02

Was it a brand of jelly babies, or just jelly babies in general? Because if you haven't had generic jelly babies ever... well, are you an earthling or what?

I prefer Tooty Frooties meself - crunchy and tooth-wrenchingly chewy in one go. And they taste like a rainbow array of chemicals.

Tryphena Absent

09:46 / 11.08.02

White mice, white chocolatey goodness in the shape of a rodent, yum.

10:32 / 11.08.02

This thread reminds me of the sequence in Gravity' Rainblow where Tyrone Slothrop is fed hideous ye olde brit sweets by a lovebale old landlady - there's also mention of the ultimate ultimate sweet (Fire Opal? not got the book here, dammit) of which only a few languish in forgotten storerooms somewhere.
That and Umpty Candy from Judge Dredd - I always wanted to try some of that

10:44 / 11.08.02

The Dutch "Stroopwafel" (lit.: Syrup Waffel) beats even Fruittella in the filling-extracting sweetness category. Two round, wafer-thin waffels sandwiching a thick, gooey, sweet syrup paste. The word sweet is inadequate to describe how sweet this thing is. And the syrup is so sticky that it extracts fillings with alarming regularity. I speak from experience. You can't eat more than three before the tastebuds in charge of sweetness shut down.

Plus, it's 100% natural if you buy them from a Stroopwafel stand in the market. If you're very lucky, you can buy a bag of them fresh out of the press...mmm, warm Stroopwafel.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

14:32 / 11.08.02

Mint flavour black-and-white liquorice allsorts, dammit.

pointless and uncalled for

15:55 / 11.08.02

Flying saucers are noticably absent from this discussion and though may not count I feel that Halva deserves notable mention in this category, especially the good, good stuff from the Kensington Cheese Market that is sold by the pound.

16:59 / 11.08.02

organic slices of dried mango dipped in organic white chocolate
just thinking about it makes me almost cum

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

17:07 / 11.08.02

Those kinder eggs my dad would bring back from Germany with a dark chocolate on the outside and white on the inside, wrapped around a plastic egg containing an incredibly complex toy that you have to assemble yourself. Kinder makes some damn fine chocolate. It's street chocolate could whip any american chocolate company's ass in a second and a half.

wembley can change in 28 days

18:18 / 11.08.02

Lakritsi - finnish licorice. Not the salted kind, but the sort with the golliwog (yes, they still use it) on the packaging.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

19:45 / 11.08.02

I really miss Wham bars... fairly hard but eventually chewy, shot through with that mental fizzing candy stuff.

21:06 / 11.08.02

I had some flying saucers a while back and, y'know, they didn't quite live up to the nostalgia. They were much more papery than I remembered, and the fizz reward wasn't nearly as good as it should have been.

The idea is brilliant, but the execution sucks.

21:35 / 11.08.02

jolly ranchers are the true kings of the sweet world. Now though that the sweet has disappeared from every shop i know all your other 'sweets' are mere usurpers to the crown.

23:53 / 11.08.02

Toss up between the pixie stick- so portable, so intoxicating- and the Sour Patch Fruit and/or Kid. Preferable chased with a Can of Whoopass.

00:35 / 12.08.02

Candy companies appear to have never really embraced the idea of the global village. Pixie sticks? Sour Patch Fruit?

09:09 / 12.08.02

1. Chocolate limes. Unarguably the best sweetie in the world.

2. Lemon Bonbons. Teeth, for the ruination and removal of...

3. Thornton's Alpini. One gadzillion kilocavities per mouthful, plus crunchy nut debris.

09:19 / 12.08.02

Soor plooms. Perfect for slicing the top of your mouth open.
And barley sugar out of a tin because it makes me feel like I'm going on holiday.

14:34 / 12.08.02

pixie stix are like sherbert fountains, but for sissies (they're really, really thin so you can't get that full-on sherbert-up-the-nose rabid-dog goodness)

I think. I might just be being xenophobic.

sherbert fountains and old-skool cola bottles are the best sweet ever. Also Opal Fruits, which are way nicer than fruittellas.

14:58 / 12.08.02

ZoCher:

"Chocolate limes. Unarguably the best sweetie in the world."

If you think we're going to be impressed by that you're sadly mistaken. It is not 'big' or 'clever' to pretend to be mentally unhinged. Shame on you!

The greatest sweet is the FIZZY BELT. Gelatine-free belts (1 inch by 6 inches) of brittle-yet-chewy plastic covered in crystals of battery acid. They knock all other so-called sour, sherbetty treats into a cocked hat.

15:36 / 12.08.02

Curly-Wurly. Curly-Wurly. Curly-Wurly.

16:03 / 12.08.02

you people are all wrong 'cuz the best candy in the world is a tie between wonka co bottle caps (available at finer little league games everywhere) and tangy taffy.

22:32 / 12.08.02

Also Opal Fruits, which are way nicer than fruittellas.

That's fightin' talk.

00:33 / 13.08.02

pixie stix are like sherbert fountains, but for sissies (they're really, really thin so you can't get that full-on sherbert-up-the-nose rabid-dog goodness)

That, dear Deva, is why you put ten in a shot glass. They also come in a larger yard/meter long size. But I can't really argue if they're more or less hardcore than a sherbert fountain, as I have never had one. Nor have I heard of the majority of the candies mentioned in this thread.

If we're going to consider chocolates as part of the candy world (some consider them a seperate category), I'd have to give a vote to the Toblerone bar, white or milk chocolate. Proof that honey should be in like, everything.

06:38 / 13.08.02

Fruittellas have a sort of faint aftertang of oddness, E Randy, like a sigh of wistfulness in the back of the throat (oh... I wish I was an Opal Fruit...) whereas Opal Fruits - though I should make it clear I refer only to the citrus flavours here - are unashamedly pure in their delivery of sugar/tartness.

(I think a sherbert fountain contains significantly more sherbert than a shot glass, but I've never measured. Perhaps I should.)

07:32 / 13.08.02

Gummy bears are the most superior of foods. They may not taste like much, but they're incredibly durable. You can bend the gummy bear out of shape all you want, but he will just return to his former conformation, smiling at you the entire time. How can we not admire the noble gummy bear, who bears all of the world's insults with outstretched arms and a grin on his face?

Gummy bear, I salute you.

07:44 / 13.08.02

I think I want that on a t-shirt...

07:49 / 13.08.02

[i]Unc - le Joe's Mintballs
Keep you all aglow
Coughs, sneezes, sniffles,
Watch the buggers go
Give 'em to your granny
Keep a few in hand
Suck 'em and see
You'll agree
They're the best in all the land.[/i]

Oh, yes.

16:38 / 14.08.02

Original Fruit gums, before the fuckin' travesty soft shit they peddle now. You know, the ones that pulled out your baby teeth, got stuck in your molars, lasted for ever, AND only cost 23p a pack.

Ah, the days when sweets cost less that 50p.

Sorry, I just turned into my grandparents there.

Also toffee pennys are the best. (Once available outside of Quality Streets avoiding the occassionally unpleasant things you could find in those big tins).

Less searchable M0rd4nt

16:47 / 14.08.02

Stuff Crunchies-- give me a bagful of good old fashioned mouth-lacerating chunks of cinder-toffee.

19:20 / 14.08.02

gummy cola bottles, regular, no sour flavoring

nutella. directly from the container, with milk

raw cookie dough. yes I am a greedy sow, thank you very much

pecan pie or carrot cake. homemade only

candy cigarettes, old school

plain hersheys kisses, allowed to melt, upside down on the roof of the mouth

"sweet potato candy", only from wockenfuss or homemade

ben & jerrys, various flavors. with or without toppings, depending on level of unhappiness. yes, I use food for comfort. dont stifle me

coke, regular. preferably in a can and so cold that it has ice crystals forming inside. or else served in a cup or glass with crushed ice. if the latter, with vanilla, chocolate, or cherry flavorings (only real flavors, rather than the pre-flavored kind. yick)

lemon-peppermint straws. a half of a lemon with a fat peppermint straw shoved in it, which you suck. very nice

ms desserts buttercream frosting. on any cake, I really dont care. but that shit is nice

baklava, fresh and extra syrupy

chocolate truffles. mmm

19:46 / 14.08.02

Haribo Tangfastics, the best ones being pure jelly and sourness. One bag of them and I'm away with the faeries

.
Oh yes and Astro Belts, similar thing but more intense sourness.

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