If the chaos is really getting to you LEAVE TOWN NOW. You've got trains, right? Use them. Go somewhere. Change of venue.
Yes, surf the chaos - but in order the catch the waves, you have to get out past the break and right now you're in the boneyard. Find the channel, paddle way the fuck out, and survey the situation.
Stay on your college roommate's couch. Stay with family. You've evidently got the time - a day or two should do nicely.
When faced with similar "not knowing" situations in my past, this approach has helped immensely.
I also find doing something utterly uncharacteristic helps, too, in much the same way (although less so). Check out a local Buddhist center, spend an evening conversing intensely with a distant acquaintance, switch channels from introvert to extrovert (or vice versa), that sort of thing.
If possible, give the ex something strange along with the keepsakes (presuming you don't follow prior advice) - something that is almost obviously not from your time together, but not quite.
She's evidently engaging in this exercise to free her mental bandwidth, you know "Oh, that's finally over," that kind of thing. By adding a new, unfamiliar element, you've instantly made a memory search almost mandatory. "Did we get that tiny Buddha in Chinatown? No, it wasn't that.... Party favor at mutual friend's going away? No.... Airline souvenir? No....." This can go on for months, under the right conditions.
And yes, I did win a medal for passive aggressive combat techniques. But we don't talk about those things. |
