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All this buttoning and unbuttoning

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11:51 / 18.07.02

... as the C18 suicide wrote for his note. Or, as AE Housman put it,

Yonder see the morning blink:
The sun is up, and up must I,
To wash and dress and eat and drink
And look at things and talk and think
And work, and God knows why.

Oh often have I washed and dressed
And what's to show for all my pain?
Let me lie abed and rest:
Ten thousand times I've done my best
And all's to do again.

How do you deal with general low-level mopiness? Just the usual dreariness of life ...

Count your blessings?
Go back to bed?
Go shopping?

Why does it work - or perhaps I should be asking, how do you think it works?

11:59 / 18.07.02

"How do you deal with general low-level mopiness?"

me, i tend to wallow in it for a bit. let it wash over me, probably listen to what i consider like minded souls (smog's good for this) then some arse kicking music (team dresch!) and go somewhere like my local cemetary. sitting and listening to the birds, away from the traffic, well that's something special. works for me because it strips things down to the basics (beautiful environment, beautiful birdsong - how much luckier could i wish to be?). and if a part of my life is too dreary, i work on changing it for good. life's too damn short not to.

i never, ever, go shopping when i'm down. i never, ever go shopping full stop.

12:02 / 18.07.02

I, on the other hand, cope by going shopping too much - which feels great but isn't particularly to be recommended.

Sleeping it off sometimes works. Alcohol doesn't. Changes of scenery can work wonders - prepare a selection of 'inspirational' music, hop on a Tube and go... somewhere.

The Natural Way

12:15 / 18.07.02

I too shop for Britain. If I stopped I might actually be able to afford that plane ticket.

12:29 / 18.07.02

I can't see how shopping can cheer anyone up especially in London, but then thats just me - although I do like buying things just not shopping for them.

I nice bit of meditation seems to clear my head and brighted things up for awhile but to be honest I'm so stressed out at the moment I think I might possibly have a nervous breakdown, is that possible at 23?

Hell I almost started crying watching ER last night, but couln'd quite manage it - enough self pity though wrong thread...

I'd suggest lying on your bed and breath in and out to the count of 4 for about 10 mins and you'll feel great.

12:31 / 18.07.02

Can one stay there afterwards, or does one have to get up again?

12:36 / 18.07.02

I could suggest all sorts of sensible things, like making sure you're eating well, and doing a bit of exercise, and meditating, and seeing friends, and not drinking too much.

But I know what it's like and you can't do any of that until the funk starts to lift a little. I kick things and I eat crisps and I get drunk and I sit staring miserably at the wall until it goes. Which isn't very useful to you, I know.

12:59 / 18.07.02

The problem with getting drunk is that one still has to get up at the crack of dawn in order to catch the bus to filthy work the next morning, because if one doesn't go to work one can't buy the beer or indeed anything else. But yes, it is my own regime, Ariadne...

13:07 / 18.07.02

And the lack of sleep actually makes yer feel worse, eh. The initial period of loss is hard.

Like sfd, I find that walking somewhere pleasant and interesting helps me to keep the energy moving when I'm down. And a couple of hours of concentrated work on something I find absorbing can do a lot to rekindle enthusiasm.

13:47 / 18.07.02

Huggles to you all. When I find a strategy that works you'll all be the first to know.

13:48 / 18.07.02

For some reason I never get down. Bugs the bollocks off everyone who knows me, mind. But I just can't seem to get depressed about anything, though god knows I've tried. Perhaps it's some failing in me.

14:21 / 18.07.02

I find that putting off having my first morning coffee until I cant take it anylonger helps. After a few hours when I do get that first taste..Its sweet ambrosia, the sun is shinning the birds are singing and Im King of the World! ready to take on what ever life has to throw at me.

But that only works on the morning.
Any other time during the day I blare my Faith No More get out my art supplies and wreak unholy terror upon the canvas (or the cat should he walk by..)

15:01 / 18.07.02

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour,
but heaven knows I'm miserable now...

Hmm, how do I cope?

Well, if I'm REALLY feeling sad I just go for the big wallow for a bit. Have a good cry, let myself feel and sad and blue as I want.

Then I might turn on the tunes and sing my little heart out.

After that, perhaps a stack of trashy magazines to read. Usually does the trick.

15:13 / 18.07.02

These all sound good things to do - maybe I should parcel them out and do one of them every night. I'm thinking, really, about a sort of long-level 'littleness of life' problem as well as other stuff - just the effort of getting up, going to horrid job, spending hours on buses to ge there and back, doing horrid job while hating it, never seeming to make money last whole month, blaaaah. I'd say it was depression if it wasn't for the fact that I still seem to be able to make myself do all this, so it can't be that mad - just a mild melancholy.

I would guess that a lot of you have felt the same - ?

15:14 / 18.07.02

Telling slip - that should of course read 'not that bad'.

15:16 / 18.07.02

I go to the toilet.

Seriously. Just sit there. In the quiet. It's so tranquil.

There's a really funny childhood reason why I do it too, but anyway.

15:31 / 18.07.02

Sigh, yes, and lovely phrases like "all this buttoning and unbuttoning" are so siren-like. Half the time I see life as a going in circles and it's exhausting, and half the time I see life as going in circles and it's inspiring, and how I get from one to the other is a mystery.

15:37 / 18.07.02

I dunno... I've definitely gone through periods wherein I was in a full-blown fit of depression, but still able to function enough to go to work: I just wasn't able to do anything else. Um, I've dealt with that by breaking up with my boyfriend, quitting my job, and going to live in Paris for a bit. I'm sure that's not helpful at all, though.

Dealing with the whole littleness of life thang: I read comforting, inspirational-type books (which tend to be uncharacteristically girly: The Weetzie Bat books, for example, and The Robber Bride.) while eating really nourishing food and drinking either chai or peppermint tea. I find that the combination of vitamins, etc in the food and the goodness of the herbs in the tea helps my body to feel better, which is usually the first step in helping the rest of me!

15:55 / 18.07.02

Going out and talking to people about, well just 'stuff' really. If I'm down or a bit edgy I usually ring someone up to talk about any old crap, usually helps bring me out of the hole somewhat. It helps I have a large bunch of people used to me ringing them up out of the blue and burbling on about stuff, so I don't offload any of my tension onto anyone too much.

Food wise I occasionally take a look at what I'm eating and start doing healthy things. Or in cases of extreme emergency snaffle my way through a whole bag of fizzy haribo, after that I'm so bouncy I don't care that I'm depressed

. And then I crash and sleep, things usally seem better in the morning, a cliche yes but its true.

16:12 / 18.07.02

In terms of the larger, more philosophical littleness of life thang, I've found a few things really useful, all of which are going to sound really painfully stupid.

1. Defining what the central, driving principle of my life is.
This definition has ranged from a small leafy branch on the tree outside my house (*sigh* I don't even do drugs. Curse the hippie gene!) to the bodhisattva vows.

2. Bringing all aspects of my life into accordance with that principle. Basically, when things start getting to me, I remind myself of what's really important in my life, and I try to bring everything back to that. For example, I may be horribly exploited and underpaid at the non-profit for which I work, but I'm helping to alleviate suffering, which is one of the bodhisattva vows, and I'm therefore right on track. This doesn't always work, but it's worth trying. I also recommend (oh, this sounds sooooo stupid!) 2a. Writing a vision statement for your life which defines your goals and your strategies to accomplish them. I feel so business and dirty...

3. Re-evaluating aforementioned driving principle every once in a while to make sure that it's still valid. 'Cause, well, holding yourself to something you no longer believe is bad for you.

I call this process meaning-creation, and I swear swear swear by it in all its New-Ageyness.

16:16 / 18.07.02

Buttoning and unbuttoning - or the circularity of thoughts. I often get what Persephone described in mopey phases - one thing leads to another, everything goes around in a circle and kicks off again worse. Usually when I'm going to sleep, but not always.

The trick I found with that was to break the cycle. I let myself go around once, because you never know when you'll get out of it, but the moment I was going somewhere I'd been before, I go and start something new, or get up, go to the loo and roll over in the case of sleep, or maybe just turn the light on and read, or ANYTHING as long as it's not the same again.

That's only one aspect of mopiness, but that's the way I cope. And in general, I think Ellis' "Go to the toilet" suggestion is good. It's a different room, a different space, and then when you get out of it you can start something new.

Murray Hamhandler

20:11 / 18.07.02

I'm dealing w/it today. Had a customer actually give me a "Fuck you" over something completely stupid and trivial and it spoilt my day. I'm way too thin-skinned. Really.

Personal methods of coping? Creative pursuits. Writing, art. Transmuting the shit nervous energy and frustration of a bad day into, well, maybe not quite gold, but at least something more positive and rewarding. Beats taking it out on other people anyday. If that doesn't work, I'll take a nap. Waking up is like a fresh start for me. If I wake up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning, I'll roll back over and be a touch late for work rather than go through the day needlessly grumpy. Also, I find that fruit smoothies are incredibly soothing for jangled nerves, but that might just be me.

uncle retrospective

20:53 / 18.07.02

I find dancing one of the best things in the world, but it has to be to the point of collapse. Once I’m on the floor nothing else matters, then when I’ve put myself in a trance like state my mind starts to put things in order. (I only worked out what I was doing after a row with Crunchy and Flyboy, so thanks folks.)

Also really angry music (metal/techno work best) gets my juices flowing, stops me sitting round feeling sorry for myself. For a while at least.

ONLY NICE THINGS

21:07 / 18.07.02

Funnily enough, Archilochus talked about this, in relation to the deaths of very many young men in a naval disaster.

To paraphrase, his position was that the gods gave us tlemosune, which is something like endurance but also comes from tolman, the ability to dare. Which is to say, merely to survive through the shit that fate and the world rains down on us is an act of great daring, that we must remember. By surviving, we are better than what oppresses us.

The next line was "and also wine, which abrades our cares". Had his head screwed on, that Archilochus.

He also wrote "On my spear I lean, with my spear I fight". The strength that sees you through the day is the strength that sustains you in the night.

Yes, I am drunk. Why do you ask?

02:04 / 19.07.02

Dammit Haus, that was beautiful. (and yes, im drunk too. Coincidance? I think not.)

03:24 / 19.07.02

...me too. Is Haus working magic?

Sometimes you need that chip on the shoulder...helps define you. But if it's too much...have the common god-damn decency to step away and collect for a moment. I did that today and found utter amusement of a mockingbird sitting atop an evergreen tree whistling the generic tunes of a car alarm verbatim. Art imitates life...life imitates commerce. Enjoy it.

07:27 / 19.07.02

Oh dear, Haus, I think I am goign to cry over that

07:36 / 19.07.02

Haus, you should get drunk more often.

KKC- music, every time. Maybe that's just me, but each and every time I've been in a hole in the road of my life, music has been the thing that pulled me out.

10:00 / 19.07.02

Evil bastards fucking high
No tears in their eyes,
We scared them shitless
Just by showing up alive.

Motorhead, (Don't Let 'Em) Grind Ya Down. I kinda prefer the way Lemmy puts it, but that's prolly just me and the last thing I can be bothered with is a debate as the the relative merits of 'high' vs. 'low' culture.

15:09 / 19.07.02

Do you think Chartreuse is an acceptable subsitute for wine when abrading cares? It is all I have at home.

15:12 / 19.07.02

I think it sounds rather lovely, though I've no idea what it tastes like.
I tend to eat whole jarfuls of pickled onions when I'm depressed, which kind of spoils the taste of whatever I'm drinking.

ONLY NICE THINGS

15:16 / 19.07.02

I'm like that with molluscs, for some reason. The moment I'

ONLY NICE THINGS

15:18 / 19.07.02

I'm like that with molluscs, for some reason. The moment I'm down, it's out with the mussels and the oysters. Possibly it's sort of an emotional safety bivalve...

Sorry. Tired. Spent rather too long abrading my cares last night.

15:19 / 19.07.02

KKC: Yes ,Chartreuse is an acceptable subsitute for wine when abrading cares. But I prefer a nice red wine.. ( I can't think of the name of the one I have in the carbuoy downstairs)

15:20 / 19.07.02

Whereas I just get pickled.

Sorry. And I don't even have the excuse of over-abrading last night. I intend to do so tonight, mind you.

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