Barbelith Underground > Conversation > Could you possibly be something special in a world of fakes?

I love how you guys help me grow here. You show me the silliness of it all.

I wrote this about a week ago:

The [insert whatever you're calling yourself these days]'s Cycle of Evolution

1. Alienation

It is in this state that feelings of anger, isolation, loneliness, and utter detachment from society occur. You're an outsider. A freak. It is in Alienation that you assume nobody understands you. Nobody else feels like you do. How will you ever survive this world? What's wrong with you? What are you? You're not like them. (but you can pretend) Who are they anyway? You're cursed. You're so alone. Nobody gets it. Nobody. You're missing something that everyone else is equipped with. Or maybe you're equipped with something extra. Oh shit. This is fucked. This is really fucking fucked. You're different. You can't get found out. Oh no. Oh fucking shit you can't take it anymore. Is there nobody else who thinks this way? Die die die.

2. Relation

This is where you go out and buy some music and realize that there are people you can relate to. Indeed. People who think like you do. Yes! People who "get it". Rock! You suddenly feel a lot better, and declare that "music is your life" or even that "music saved your life". In Relation things start to improve, because you know that you are not alone in this fucked up plane of fuckedupness, and it makes you feel a whole lot better about yourself. What a relief! You might even buy some books and watch some movies that seem to describe your life perfectly. Viva la culture! Ok. So now what?

3. Conversation

Now what? Now you talk about it. That's right, you talk about it. But what is "it?" Nobody really knows, but you sure love debating what "it" is with your new friends. In fact, you could do this all night! During the initial period of the Conversation state, it is not uncommon for you to be a walking talking cliche. Cookie cultured spoutings like "they're all lemmings- they just don't get it," "we should all get together and like... do something," anything beginning with "people like us" and even "let's start a new race, dude!" are natural in the beginning. Your true friends will call you on your shit, and ask that you come up with something original for a change. Everyone else will nod, as if you're saying something new or something. This is probably because they too have just started their Conversation period. As you progress through Conversation, you learn to shut the fuck up with your cliches-which-you-once-thought-to-be-crucial and listen to what your more experienced friends (who have already heard it all) have to say. You might even give them your own personal input. Eventually, you will start to come up with your own ideas, and suddenly your friends will be listening to you!

(Some people never make it past the initial period of the Conversation state. These are the people I refer to as anti-sheep-sheep. Walking talking cliches of the counterculture. Puppets of the anti-puppet puppeteers. Drones who denounce the drones while defining themselves by the music they listen to and clothes they wear.)

Note that it is possible to skip the Relation period, and hop right from Alienation to Conversation. I once talked to a semi-enlightened young women who had never listened to anything that wasn't on the top 40. Let it also be noted that hopping from Alienation to Conversation will cause your friends to look at you in amazement when you ask them who the hell sings that song.

4. Inspiration

Congratulations! You made it this far. You are now officially One Of Us. ::hands you a medal:: You start getting into new music, going to new websites, reading new books, renting new movies, visiting new art galleries. Now you are not only seeing outside the societal box, (that don't impress me much) but the countercultural box. Hell, there is no box! It is here that Inspiration takes place. It is here that divine bursts of emotion, creativity, and intelligence present themselves to your fabulous mind. Inspiration is what leads you to the final state of your evolutionary cycle:

5. Creation

This is where you start expressing yourself through means such as writing, music, art, filmaking, photography, rabble rousing, your-own-personal-religion creating, your-own-personal-philosophy creating, and Extremely Unique Murder. You hope to be famous some day. Either that, or you choose to remain underground because it's so much "cooler" that way. These divine bursts of Inspiration which lead to Creation have Relation and Conversation to thank. If it wasn't for all the music you listened to and people you talked to, would you really be where you are today? Note that once you have reached the period of Creation you realize that:

-Alienation is a childish phase that everyone goes though (and that everyone who is "like you" goes through harshly)
-You don't need music to speak for you (and that lyrics are ambiguous as fuck)
-You didn't come up with as many new ideas as you thought you did (and that your acid conversations were a lot less sacred and amazing as you once thought)

and above all...

-You fucking rule.