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The happy little eyes meet the friendly Star-Nosed Mole.

  
  

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Less searchable M0rd4nt
17:35 / 15.06.02
The happy little eyes meet the friendly Star-Nosed Mole
 
 
autopilot disengaged
18:23 / 15.06.02
truly, you are our only hope.
 
 
The Monkey
18:42 / 15.06.02
Little dig the happy little eyes realize that the star-nosed mole kept them on that reservation as free-range livestock.
 
 
Trijhaos
18:54 / 15.06.02
You mean he's going to eat them?

I thought he saved them because he was a nice mole. I thought it was a happy ending.

Oh god! My entire worldview has been shattered. What will I do now?!
 
 
The Monkey
21:03 / 15.06.02
And little did the people realize that the Monkey was lying out his ass, for he envied the Star-Nosed Mole his clean rap sheet and good demographic numbers, not to mention the love of that kakopo. Veritable simian Iago. Yup.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
00:34 / 16.06.02
Can you stop doing all this really cool stuff for a bit, please? Cos it's, like... ummm...
actually, no, that rocked a jawa's ass.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
12:55 / 16.06.02
 
 
Grey Area
13:00 / 16.06.02
...and now I'm officially confused.
 
 
Trijhaos
13:18 / 16.06.02
Quick! Get out of there little eyes! The evil mole has invited his girlfriend over for lunch! Run!
 
 
uncle retrospective
13:47 / 16.06.02

I fear MC.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
14:13 / 16.06.02
The eyes have it...
 
 
w1rebaby
17:14 / 16.06.02
is that a kakapo?
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
20:27 / 16.06.02
It is indeed a lovely lovely kakapo.
 
 
The Monkey
21:04 / 16.06.02
Sheesh. Rub it in.

[Pssst--Trij! The mole's coming after you next...obviously you should strike first with this thermonuclear device I just happen to have on sale for just 99.99...!]
 
 
Trijhaos
21:10 / 16.06.02
I knew it!

That nasty little mole bastard! I can see the evil in his eyes. He knows I'm on to him. Well, dammit, he's not going to get me.
 
 
Grey Area
21:35 / 16.06.02
How will you avoid him??? He can defeat the Evil Spider Wizard, plus he has amazing tunneling prowess (even though he does get lost sometimes...must get carried away). I don't think a cut-price thermonuclear device is going to help.
 
 
Trijhaos
21:43 / 16.06.02
You're right of course.

I'll just have to use this reality shifter I bought real cheap from a man in a trench coat.

What a nice man. I explained my plight to him and he just bascially gave it to me. Now what was his name again. Oh that's righty. The Shifty Weasel, or something like that.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
23:45 / 16.06.02
Trijhaos: you are a weakminded agglomeration of random letters, for you have fallen for the Monkey's anti-mole propaganda. The Monkey just doesn't want the friendly Star-Nosed Mole and the lovely Kakapo to be happy. The Mole is good and kind and eats only earthworms. Evil earthworms.
 
 
deja_vroom
23:49 / 16.06.02
Marry me, Mordant. Really, marry me now.
 
 
Trijhaos
23:57 / 16.06.02
But, The Monkey had such convincing arguments.

How can the Kakapo and mole be happy? If mole eats earthworms and the Kakapo eats strictly vegetarian fare? Will she force him to change his diet? And what about the tape worm that lives within her crop and stomach? Will the mole attack her to get at the worms?

I'm so confused!
 
 
The Monkey
04:41 / 17.06.02
As Herodutus, and the Norse (which sounds like a band...first album entitled "Father of Lies" featuring the breakthrough single "Pygmies versus Storks") both wrote:

"Judge no man - or mole - happy until he is dead."

Take that as a hint.

And may I point out that my partially-opposable thumbs lend me far greater credibility than any insectivore.
 
 
the Fool
06:29 / 17.06.02
Long live the friendly star-nosed mole!!! We wuv U mordant!!!
 
 
Ellis says:
08:42 / 17.06.02
Sheer fucking genius.

Now waiting anxiously for a sequel.
 
 
grant
15:23 / 17.06.02
This is lovely.

I think the Star Nosed Mole should meet Pokey the Penguin.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
09:33 / 20.06.02
Just to set everyone's mind at rest:
 
 
Morlock - groupie for hire
17:05 / 20.06.02
Yeeeeeersss. Check please!
 
 
Knight's Move
17:15 / 20.06.02
Why does the evil spider wizard need the clogs to do magic? Is it some sort of focusing tool, or just another part of his utter evil insanity?

This rocks incidentally.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
09:00 / 23.06.02
They were evil wizard clogs, of course.

Anyway, here's the sequel: The Friendly Star-Nosed Mole meets the Lovely Kakapo.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
18:10 / 24.06.02
Does no-one care? Does no-one care that the Mole has vanquished another mighty foe? *sniffle*

How soon they forget.
 
 
w1rebaby
18:51 / 24.06.02
That evil Valerie Singleton... though I'm a little worried at the frolic potential of star-nosed moles and kakapos. You know, that almost rhymes.
 
 
Stone Mirror
19:28 / 24.06.02
And to think I spent a good hour listening to Douglas Adams hold forth on the incredibly inefficient mating strategies of the kakapo...
 
 
Mourne Kransky
22:49 / 15.08.02
So they just lived happily ever after? Two dynamic figures of such heroic proportion, thrown together in a whirlwind of passion by Val the Bodiless, would settle for domesticity and suburban Garden Centre contentment?

Please tell me they at least go to Big Gay Al's Animal Sanctuary on payday nights. Or the star-nosed mole is bitten by a radioactive evil worm and develops super powers: he can eat dirt very fast (so that other subterranean creatures may starve) and, if bisected, he grows another top or bottom, in time.
 
 
Perfect Tommy
23:05 / 15.08.02
Were you referring strictly to regenerating lost halves, or did you mean "top" and "bottom" the way I read it? 'Cause I like the idea of a mole which, when cut apart, is split into its component dominant and submissive halves, each with a correspondingly opposite amoeba-bud coming off the side muttering "On your knees, slave!/I'm sorry, Master" in a squeaky voice.

(Are "and after the transporter accident Evil Kirk and Good Kirk GOT IT ON" stories an accepted part of the Slash Trek genre?)
 
 
the Fool
00:35 / 16.08.02
Perhaps the passionate frolic could result in the birth of the star-nosed Kakapo! Scourge of villianous dismembered heads and foul clandestine worms everywhere.
 
 
Justin Brief
12:26 / 16.08.02
But when will we finally see:

Little Friendly Star Nosed Mole Red and Blue versus the Finger Pixies of Venus.

LFSNM marries the Bottle Nosed Dolphin in the happy land of tuna-necked rainbow wheels.

LFSNM meets Ludvig and Gets it On with the Rubber Glove Policeman.

The Secret Origin of LFSNM ?
 
  

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