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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

Comic Book Movies That Do or Will Suck

  
  

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glassonion
08:11 / 22.07.02
well rumour kings i heard recently that marvel were literally days away from getting ink on a contract for a new shield movie, with mr yes george clooney as howlin' nicky. that was until some studio head got a look at ennis' recent post-coldwar misanthropy mag Fury, complete with it's ho abusin' hero and baddie called Fuckface who 'sleeps with people' to death. Before you can say 'rip' the contract was in pieces on the floor and avi arad shit his[her?] pants with rage.
 
 
XXII:X:II = XXX
02:46 / 23.07.02
Whose stupid idea was it to send the studio chiefs the Ennis FURY? Send the Steranko stuff! Steranko!!!

I'm surprised no one's yet said one of the most disappointing comics films:

JUDGE DREDD

Really, the first 15 minutes should have set the tone for the rest of the movie, but it didn't. And we couldn't go without seeing Sly's beautiful punim, could we? Nooo... why was he allowed to make this movie hot on the heels of DEMOLITION MAN? Wait, I'm asking this about a man who's made five ROCKY films and is contemplating a sixth?

Oh, and leave us not forget Thor's appearance in the first of the three made for TV INCREDIBLE HULK movies. Good fucking God.

BTW, I hope I'm wrong, but what I've heard of it so far makes me fear that GHOST RIDER will blow. Hard.

Now what I want to know is: whatever became of the rumored Robert Rodriguez-directed adaptation of Mike Allred's RED ROCKET 7? Done in the Forrest Gump idiom, that could have ruled.
 
 
Margin Walker
04:23 / 23.07.02
Re: Rodriquez & Allred: Robert Rodriguez is going to make "Spy Kids 3" before he makes a movie adaptation of "Madman". As for "League of Extraordinary Gentleman", they just started production in Prague & have most of the cast set:

Sean Connery .... Allan Quatermain
Stuart Townsend .... Dorian Gray
Max Ryan .... Dante Inferno
Shane West .... Tom Sawyer
Tony Curran .... The Invisible Man
Jason Flemyng .... Dr. Henry Jekyll/Mr. Hyde
Jason Isaacs .... Campion Bond
Tom Goodman-Hill .... Sanderson Reed
Richard Roxburgh .... The Fantom
Naseeruddin Shah .... Captain Nemo
Peta Wilson .... Mina Harker
 
 
XXII:X:II = XXX
18:23 / 23.07.02
Stuart Townsend .... Dorian Gray
Max Ryan .... Dante Inferno
Shane West .... Tom Sawyer

Vladimir puts head in hands, begins to weep openly.

Has no one at the studio actually READ the damn book??

As for "The Fantom"... do they actually mean Fantomas? Because I think he's showing up in NEW X MEN right now under the name Fantomex.
 
 
Margin Walker
12:17 / 26.07.02
I actually really want this to be funny (because I really think Donal Logue is one funny mofo), but...

"Comic Book Villains", starring Donal Logue & Michael Rapaport

In a sleepy town, full of ordinary people leading ordinary lives, something extraordinary is about to happen… To some, comic books are a hobby, but for Raymond MacGillicuddy (Logue) and Norman Link (Rapaport) they are a way of life. Both men own comic book stores and both men are after the hottest ticket in town – a rare collection of old comics in mint condition – potentially worth millions to the right dealer. However, when the elderly owner won’t sell, it becomes a madcap free-for-all with friend turning against friend in a battle for the loot. As the stakes get higher, their antics take a dark turn, and begin spiraling into a dangerous game of greed, betrayal and murder.

It smells like "Very Bad Things", in more ways than one....
 
 
houdini
20:28 / 14.08.02
Good comics adaptations:
The Mask
The Crow
The Invisib- Matrix

Bad comics adaptations:
The Rocketeer (actually, this could've been a lot worse...)
The Phantom
The Spirit
 
 
arcboi
22:12 / 14.08.02
I thought The Rocketeer was quite fun actually.

The Shadow is another underated gem.

Judge Dredd for the first 15 mins (then it becomes another typical Sly pic...). The poor excuses that both 2000AD and such made at the time; "Well, everyone knows what Stallone looks like anyway..". He's playing a role you morons!!

X Men was good as well - and inspired GM's take on the comic.
 
 
Knight's Move
11:33 / 15.08.02
Dredd took his helmet off. That was unforgivable. Also the ABC warrior was a great construction droid but a shit ABC warrior. It had no personality, no pizzazz, no silly hat. Dredd took his helmet off. Rico was clearly unaffected by twenty years on Titan, a non-air atmosphere planet. Dredd took his helmet off. It stunk because Sly was lead. He couold not play the Judge anyway, but the fact that he was Sly meant the fans had to see him, so off came the helmet. Aaaaaaargh. He evn smiled occassionally. Aaaaargh.

Stevie Richards: Dredd
Kane: Rico
Vince MacMahon: Chief Justice Fargo
Lita: Judge Hershey
Stone Cold Steve Austin: Mean Machine Angel
Big Show: The ABC warrior
The Dudley boys: The remaining angel family

Now y'see (to quote and old friend and poster to the board) that's how you cast a movie.
 
 
The Strobe
20:20 / 15.08.02
The Rocketeer rocked like hell, I'm sorry.

It wasn't too dumb, just camp enough, the production design was wonderful... and oh, look, Jennifer Connolly.

Let's just review the rules of film-making.

Jennifer Connolly = TOP TRUMP.

So it MUST be good. And lo, it was. I mean, an art deco-inspired 30s jetpack. THAT's some cool shit.
 
 
The Strobe
20:20 / 15.08.02
(Not to mention the whole King of the Rocketmen resemblance)
 
 
videodrome
15:36 / 24.09.02
OK, between yesterday and today there's been a bunch of new Superman crap. And I do mean crap. So get on over to the link at AICN (I'm sorry to send you over there) or to CA's page, where it seems that the dollar is, once again, the bottom line.

And what that bottom line is:

Krypton might not blow up. Superman might use martial arts. Lex Luther might be an alien. Brett Ratner still might direct. Need anything more? Read on...
 
 
The Falcon
23:50 / 25.09.02
Incidentally, the aforementioned 'Comic Book Villains' is written/directed by James 'Starman' Robinson, and stars Cary Elwes.

So it might be quite good, and it's gone - that's right, straight to video.
 
 
Hieronymus
03:47 / 28.09.02
Well well well. Seems Harry Knowles and his geek legion really have shook up the WB suits. Thank god for small miracles.
 
  

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