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I've just been called a 'wog bitch'...

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13:05 / 17.04.02

(Plums, I've PM'ed you)

I'm totally with Sax and Haus. I'm thinking incapacitation followed by either slow torture or vigorous bludgeonng, during which it is explained to them exactly why they are getting it.

A friend of mine claims to have witnessed exactly that happen, once. He was part of a greasy biker gang, one of whose members happened to be going out with a black girl. Some local skinheads put him in hospital for it, so the gang tracked down each of the wankers responsible, one at a time, and put them in hospital too. I'll have to ask said pal about it, find out what, if any, the repercussions were.

Goodness Gracious Meme

13:10 / 17.04.02

Interesting how the male-identified suits are generally up for bludgeoning, and the f-id'd ones aren't. Not a criticism, just an observation about different positions...

13:13 / 17.04.02

saveloy - for most people that's just not going to happen though. my only strategy for situations like this is playing it by ear - you don't wanna do anything that makes it look like these tossers have won, but you also wanna survive the situation. if you have a verbal go back, will he back off? maybe. but my experience is that the uppity queer/stroppy dyke has to be silenced properly.

13:17 / 17.04.02

i agree with sfd. i am not going to fuck with the people who have fucked with me in the past because i need to survive this. i need to come out of this unscathed, and happy. they could have ruined my life but i am going to prove them wrong by being ok and by being happy. that is far more victorious to me than duffing them up. i can't take back what they did to me. i have to move on.

Matthew Fluxington

13:18 / 17.04.02

hm? I'm male-id'd and I'm generally not in favor of violence, and BK is female-id'd and quite vocal in favoring violence in this matter...

Matthew Fluxington

13:19 / 17.04.02

Ah, yeah but you were making a generalization. Forget that last bit.

Shouldn't this whole thread be moved to Head Shop?

13:25 / 17.04.02

sfd:

saveloy - for most people that's just not going to happen though.

Oh, I know, my post was more revenge fantasy (the first part anyway) than advice; a venting of impotent rage.

13:30 / 17.04.02

(Based solely on the abstract: What would you do?)
I know what I'd do. Make eye contact, raise one eyebrow and smile.
The eye contact is the important thing. If you just raise an eyebrow, you're sort of taking it, but eye contact is a challenge.
Then again, this doesn't happen too often to me (once or twice on the metrorail through Overtown, usually just hormone-poisoned kids pissing on their territory).

If it's any consolation, the guy's lifestyle is probably its own punishment - surrounded by a sea of "others" who just aren't going away, changing everything he knows and remembers into something alien and bright. Where he has no place.

Think you'll run into him again?

13:32 / 17.04.02

Oh, and publicly ignoring him seems to be the right thing to do. Letting him know he's *beside the point* is just going to fuel his nightmares.

The Natural Way

13:34 / 17.04.02

Plums: Don't you just wish you were w/ special meat treat? I'm sure Loz would've just lurved to "destroy" the prick. Then, when he was floored, you could flex yr claws and take out his balls.

13:35 / 17.04.02

Oh my god, PLUMS!! That is SO shitty. I am SO sorry that happened to you. Accept some big hugs and support from me. It’s a constant disappointment to say the least that such hateful behavior continues to happen in our "modern day and age."

As far as what to do, I actually am a strong advocate of "in your face" guerilla tactics. It is scary at first but immensely satisfying. A few summers ago I decided that any time I got cat-called or had some sort of epithet hurled at me due to the fact that I had breasts and a vagina I would confront whoever did it, and usually say something like, "Fuck YOU you misogynist piece of shit! How would YOU like to be treated as an object?" etc. etc. I had a lot of different reactions to confrontation like this but it was definitely worth doing.

The thing is I think most people when forced to look at such behavior deep down KNOW it’s hateful – and shameful – and when confronted with it they are very uncomfortable. This does take some guts and I know it’s not always feasible but that’s my suggestion.

In the meantime, know how wonderful you are, in spite of what the ignorant moron called you.

>>Hugs<<

13:41 / 17.04.02

Whilst surfing just now, I stumbled across one of the trillions of webjournals that litter the Net. This one was a bit interesting, though; instead of being written by an angst-driven teenager who listens to KISS, it's written by a divorced female cop who listens to KISS. It's called Diana's Contradistinctions; there's an interesting entry for January 14th, 2001, in which the author deals with a verbally abusive colleague.

Lotsa luck no matter what you do, Plums.

13:51 / 17.04.02

cherry, are you not scared when you shout at men for doing this? i feel like i can't. i mean, i like to shout ON GUARD! and play that song by le tigre in my head but because of my past i find it very very scary to shout back at a man who is shouting at me. i am scared of the consequences. how did you get to be so brave? i'd like to be able to do what you do.

13:55 / 17.04.02

I've got n'owt useful to suggest, plums, but I did just want to say I'm so sorry that it happened. What a complete arsehole.

I usually offer to set my (surprisingly well-fanged for his size) dog on people like that. Gimme a decent description, and we'll see what we can do. And I'm not being flippant, either. But generally, vicious Border Terriers not-withstanding, I go with grant and/or Cherry Bomb's position. Make people like that feel small, one way or another. Embarrass them publicly. Won't change his opinions, won't magically make him not-a-prick, but embarrassment is a surprisingly powerful weapon...

Look after yourself, ok?

14:23 / 17.04.02

I'd just like to say, I'm not a violent person at all. Can't remember the last time I duked up to Marquis of Queensbury rules. But stuff like this... my gut reaction is often that only a good revenge kicking will satisfy cosmic justice. I would quite like to be able to say to myself: "Never mind, they'll get their's when the universal scales are balanced", but can we wait that long? And how many more times is this shit going to rattle off a comment like that before he gets reincarnated as a dung beetle and we can all go "yeah, deserved that, didn't you?" from BarbeNirvana?

15:00 / 17.04.02

Um, no I'm not scared usually, which could be just blatant stupidity but also my anger colors my reaction on this one. And also as I said it's not always feasible. I did once have a guy actually follow me after I tried this tactic (I was riding my bike), but even then I wasn't scared; it just made me angrier and when he rode up next to me (he was in a car), I just rolled my eyes, flicked him off and said, "Why don't you just fuck OFF?!?" which he finally did do. That was probably the closes to actually being scared I've been using this tactic. But I do listen to my intuition so if I thought I'd be in danger I wouldn't take this approach.

15:59 / 17.04.02

"Wogs start at Calais" - Winston Churchill

God bless 'is soul.

While looking for the source of this before-heard quote, I found definitions that said that "the English use it as a derogatory term towards people with black or brown skin, and French people."(?)

17:57 / 17.04.02

Fuck, I'm sorry to hear that, Plums.

I haven't got much else to offer, I'm afraid; I probably would fall into the violent camp here, or at least the striking the fear of God into the troglodyte motherfucker camp.

Were you on your own? Sounds to me like you were, which makes him all the braver for doing it.

Other than that, I don't know what to suggest. Carrying round a camera and making posters of wankers like this would be nice; so would giving him a good stern talking to with a blowtorch.

But don't make yourself feel bad about this. I know that's probably far too easy for me to say, but please, try not to let these morons ruin your day; that's what they want to do.

But if you do see him again, get a posse together and kick his fucking head in, eh?

18:05 / 17.04.02

If I were out shopping and someone insulted me, I'd run them down with my shopping cart. Its a great time-saver because you never actually stop shopping and you get your revenge on the stupid bastard.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

18:18 / 17.04.02

OMG, Plums! I'm so fucking sorry- I hate it that shit like this happens. Mega hugs.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

19:19 / 17.04.02

I'm sorry to hear that. I have been blessed with ethnic ambiguity. No one is quite sure where my family is from (no one but my family, obviously), which makes it hard for someone to call me a racial slur. Sure, I've got dark brown skin, but light brown hair too. And my eyes are some weird color that no one seems able to name, so they just call it "hazel" (they're kinda silverish-greyish-green).

I really don't know what I would do. I have found that in most situations where most people are too shocked or scared to say anything right away to some asshole shooting his mouth off I can usually manage a "screw you, mac" or a "go fuck yourself". None too witty, but it feels good. I'm usually in a group when this happens, but once or twice I've been alone and just gave the finger.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

19:24 / 17.04.02

Plums- real fucking sorry to hear that. Good vibes etc.
I'd kill the motherfucker. (Except in real life, I'd probably- no, definitely- run away.)
Not sure the answer- only that if people like that suffer/die, then be it right or wrong, I'm not gonna lose any sleep over it. It's nasty little fucks like that that make angry mobs seem like a good idea.
Now where'd I put that pitchfork?

Goodness Gracious Meme

20:10 / 17.04.02

the posse ain't a bad idea, where's my 'uppity darky' clique when i need em?

20:17 / 17.04.02

I'd be happy to be your "uppity white suburban chick" posse of protection...

20:22 / 17.04.02

...and I realize we're part of the problem. but I'm working from the INSIDE!

23:20 / 17.04.02

If only you practised majick in the swamps..Then you could have replied: "I am not a wog bitch..I am a bog witch!" and then turned him into a frog.

08:38 / 18.04.02

This is rather after the fact, but I wasn't around yesterday...

OMG, Plums, how rotten. That shouldn't have to happen to anyone. I hope you are feeling better about it today, and are back in CONQUER mode...

The Natural Way

09:16 / 18.04.02

Someone said:

"But if you do see him again, get a posse together and kick his fucking head in, eh?"

Errr...you obviously haven't meant Plum's Brighton mates, have you? Now, I can't say I know all of them, but I'm pretty intimate w/ enough of them to know... Well....the idea of them teaming up and forming some kind of shit-kicking posse is a very special idea indeed.

Very special.

10:13 / 18.04.02

Hugs to Plums - hope the arsehole who insulted you gets cancer.

Is there any way our magick boffins could set up some sort of curse thread, which we could all visit occasionally to note down the people currently residing on our shit list, together with some sort of bad karma transmission? Just an idea.

Incidentally, the responses here call to mind the revenge thread a while back, where we were all sort of split on the violence thing. Have we all gone a bit UFC? I'm very torn personally - there is the sheer untrammelled joy of stamping on the face of someone who's upset you, but also the sense that it's not going to achieve a whole lot beyond that point. Some people are just fucks and it's very rare for someone to really change - the only thing you can do is kill them.

Ideally, Plums, what would you want to happen?

ONLY NICE THINGS

11:05 / 18.04.02

In general, I think curses are a bit of a bad plan - karma being pretty much recursive.

And I know that violence is very rarely the answer, and ultimately usually doesn't help anything very much, and that one of the bases of our society is the repression of violent instincts for the general good, and so on and so forth. I am aware that the fact that my response to a friend being hassled in the street by some endlessly punchable fuck is to want to place him in a position of comparative powerlessness is short-sighted and atavistic. But it remains the case.

12:19 / 18.04.02

Well when you get a post from Husb. saying that I'm in the emergency room with bootmarks all over, then you will know that this strategy has taken the turn for the worse for me... but my feeling is that people like this a) prey on your unpreparedness, and b) tend to be shocked and deterred when the little dog bites (ref. to Cowardly Lion and Toto) or even barks a little loud. There's risk, of course; but I'm taking risk over nothing to be gained at this point.

12:22 / 18.04.02

Plus, the violence route would quite often seem to be the only way of feeling that some kind of retribution has been dealt. Childish? Yes. Pointless? No.

Don't know what to say that either hasn't already been said here or doesn't sound trite, Plums.

12:36 / 18.04.02

cherrybomb, i am very impressed. you rock.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

17:05 / 18.04.02

What, Plums knows more than one person called Loz? I thought I'd tracked down and killed everyone who used that name, or did I just get bored after disembowling Loz Hardy?

In other random impulses, positive (if late) vibes to Plums, and may the guy concerned be found by his mates in sexual congress with a hoover, which leads to him getting an amusing 'hoover' related nickname that prevents him from ever having a satisfactory relationship with people of whichever sex he feels attracted to.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

00:43 / 19.04.02

...prevents him from ever having a satisfactory relationship with people of whichever sex he feels attracted to.

Oh sure. Assuming he'd even be able to have one now. In my experience, folk who come out with this kind of crap are fundamentally incapable of having a real relationship with anyone.

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